Tiernan Chapter 5

After tossing and turning for over an hour, I threw back the covers on my bed and got up. There was no use lying there if I couldn’t sleep. It had been hours since Kynedi and Cassius left. I still regretted that my need to know had caused the day to become uncomfortable for her. After our dispute over Cassius’s dad, she had tried to stay away from me. I didn’t let her. They stayed, and Cass got to swim, see the horses, and even have barbeque. He loved it. Kynedi remained in the background and tried to disappear. I felt her slipping away from me, and I had no idea how to stop it.

After our dinner a few weeks ago, I paid attention to Cass’s lessons. Kynedi and I talked, and I got to know her better. It only drove home more that she was exactly what I needed. I knew it might take some convincing due to her past. I had no idea what she had gone through, but whatever it was, it had left her with trust issues.

Until they came to our compound, I’d kept myself from pushing her for answers. Well, that went out the goddamn window. She didn’t say a word the entire ride back to their place. I insisted on walking them to the door of their apartment. When we arrived, she opened it and ushered Cassius inside, barely letting him say goodbye. She thanked me and then closed the door on me. I wanted to pound on it and demand she let me in, and we talk, but I held back.

I knew if I pushed her, I might lose any chance I had with her. So, as bad as it grated on me, I walked away. However, I couldn’t ignore that there was something to fear, and I had to know if they were at risk. Hence, I called Cody and asked him to do a background check on her. I reasoned that it would have to be done anyway since she was going to be a part of my life. I told him not to tell me anything unless it posed a threat to them. He agreed.

Back at the compound, I hadn’t been up for my family’s questions, so I went to my house and did something I rarely did. I locked the doors. I wanted to be alone. I had to think about how to repair the damage I did today while progressing our relationship. Daid was right. She was my anamchara. My gut told me she was long before my mind caught up. My heart knew, too, but I hadn’t listened. It was way more than sex, although I wanted that as well. My dreams were often filled with her and us. The things we did together in them had me waking in the middle of the night, throbbing with urgent need. The only way to get relief was to jerk myself off.

My brothers and cousins, hell, even acquaintances, would laugh their asses off if they knew Tiernan O’Sheeran was pleasuring himself rather than having a woman do it. Like the others in my family, we were considered ladies’ men. There had never been a lack of women to have sex with. If we had an itch to scratch, we had our pick of partners to help scratch it. I could get dressed this second, make a call, and be balls deep in a willing woman within a half hour. The reason I didn’t make the call and hadn’t any other night recently was that it would be empty and unsatisfactory. Plus, if Kynedi were the woman for me, like I suspected, it would be cheating on her. Yeah, I know. Most people would say you’re not with her. Therefore, it isn’t. Well, in my book, it was.

And my daid and the others would see it as such. I’d heard countless times from the older guys and my now-married brothers and cousins that as soon as they met their soulmates, they had eyes only for them, and they never thought of touching another woman. They all had to put effort into winning their women, but in the end, it was more than worth the wait.

I navigated through the dark to the kitchen. I turned on the lights. I rummaged in the fridge to see if anything there caught my attention. I don’t know why. I wasn’t hungry. Slamming the door, I went to a cabinet and took out a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass. Maybe a shot or two would relax me enough to sleep. I could do nothing in the middle of the night to fix the faux pas I made when I pushed Kynedi about her ex. The clock said it was barely midnight. Shit, it was going to be a long-ass night.

I had the cap off the bottle when my doorbell rang. Why in the hell would anyone be ringing it? I thought before I recalled, I’d locked the damn thing and never unlocked it. Setting down my whiskey momentarily, I went to the door, unlocked it, and swung it open. I didn’t bother to look to see who it was. Regardless, whoever it was would keep ringing until I answered it. Being within the walls of our estate, it was doubtful it would be someone out to do me in.

I was surprised when I opened it to find it wasn’t a brother or one of my male cousins. It was my daid , Patrick, and Sean. Chríost , what was wrong? My heartbeat sped up as I stepped back to let them in. I had to ask, “Is something wrong? Is someone hurt?”

“Everyone is fine, or at least everyone except you. We need to talk, Tiernan,” Patrick said somberly.

“I’m not sure what you mean about me, but come in. I was about to have a drink. Would you care for one? I seem to be having a case of insomnia tonight. I hoped a shot of whiskey would take care of it.” I closed the door and followed them to the kitchen as I explained. I went to the cabinet to get more shot glasses.

“I’ll have one,” Sean said. Daid and Patrick shook their heads no. Grabbing the other glass, I poured a healthy amount for us both. Handing it to Sean, I raised mine and said, “ Sláinte , Health!”

“Sláinte ,” Sean echoed before we took a healthy drink.

“Have a seat. Tell me what brought you over at midnight. You’re usually in bed by this time,” I said as we moved over to the family room and found seats.

“We are, but we’ve been talking and wanted to come see you. You didn’t return to the family house after you took Kynedi and Cassius home. We’re not blind. Something happened between you two before you returned from the playroom. Kynedi was uncomfortable and not as interactive the rest of the day. You watched her even closer than before. What happened? We’re here to help, Mac ,” Daid said. I guess he was the ringleader, which made sense in my case.

“I appreciate you all coming and wanting to help, but it’s my problem. I caused it, and I have to fix it.”

“Maybe. Tell us what caused the change. We may have a perspective or suggestion you don’t,” Patrick offered.

Knowing them as I did, I knew I could protest and hold back, but they wouldn’t leave until they got it out of me. Blowing out a loud, long breath, I dove into my conversation with Kynedi. When I was done, they sat there quietly contemplating. There were frowns on their faces. I was about to burst a few minutes into the silence. Thankfully, Sean spoke up before I did.

“Tier, it’s clear from her words and reaction that she had a terrible experience with Cassius’s father. Who knows, maybe with other men, too. She said he couldn’t harm them. Maybe that’s true. Did you push too hard? Probably, but I would’ve done the same if I were in your shoes. Cormac said he talked to you about her being your anamchara . From what we’ve seen of her, she appears perfect for you. Sweet, kind, smart, and loyal, and let’s not forget gorgeous. That being the case, I don’t see how you could leave it alone.”

“Which means you have Cody investigating to be sure,” Patrick tacked on.

“You think?” I asked with a quirk of my eyebrow.

“If not, then you’d better do it tomorrow. It won’t hurt to know for sure they’re safe,” Daid added gruffly.

“So you don’t think I’m overstepping by doing it. She told me not to treat her like a criminal, but I don’t see it that way. I want them safe.”

“And so do I. From how you’re reacting, I say it’s a safe bet that you plan to make her yours. That means she’s my future daughter-in-law, and Cassius is my future grandson. No one fucks with family. You know that. If it helps, tell her I ordered it when the time comes to tell her she was investigated and that we require all new family members to have one. It isn’t a lie.”

“ Daid , I won’t foist it on you. If she’s mad, she can be mad at me, but I won’t regret making sure they’re safe. The way she talked about men being monsters, you could tell she’d experienced it, and it was ugly. I can’t stop wondering about what happened to her at his hands and what she had to do to get away from him. What did he do to Cassius?” The more I spoke, the angrier I grew. Horrible images kept popping into my head. A faceless man beating Cassius. Kynedi beaten and crying. The worst was the thought that he’d forcibly taken her.

My arm was gripped hard and shaken. I looked over at Sean, who was closest to me. “Don’t go there. You don’t know for sure what they went through.”

“But I can imagine what they could’ve. How the hell do I fix this? She’s pulled away from me. On the ride home, she never said a word. At her door, she practically shut it in my face after a quick goodbye. What if she stops bringing Cassius to ride? I can’t have that.”

“So you’re one hundred percent sure she’s the one,” Patrick said. It wasn’t posed as a question but as a statement of fact.

“Damn right, I am.”

“Then you don’t let her shut you out or cut themselves off from you. If she stops bringing him, you find them and keep pushing her to come back. If she won’t talk, you keep doing it. Share things about yourself, not just the everyday stuff you’d tell a stranger. Put yourself into places where they’ll run into you. She doesn’t seem like the gift type, but every woman loves flowers,” Daid suggested.

“That makes me sound like a stalker,” I protested.

“There’s a thin line between stalker and utterly consumed with the woman you love.” Patrick grinned.

“Did you pseudo-stalk Maeve?”

“Hell, yeah. I messed up with her, and she initially wanted nothing to do with me.”

“ Daid ? Sean?”

“Your mam would say yes.”

“Brenda and I had our moments where I made sure she couldn’t forget about me, so yeah, I guess so,” Sean said with a smirk.

“Well, maybe back then they didn’t call it stalking, but nowadays they do. She could call the cops on me. Get a restraining order,” I reminded them.

“She could, but it’s not as if you don’t have an in with the police chief. Martin will listen to your side. As for a judge issuing it, you’d have to be truly dangerous for that to happen. Even if we don’t snuff out people for no reason, the world thinks we do,” Sean reminded me. He was right. Occasionally, our reputation and past worked in our favor.

“I don’t want to make her think those rumors are true. I noticed when we got here, she was feeling overwhelmed by our wealth. I don’t want that either. How the hell did the others overcome this?”

“Each in their own way. You can ask them, but the truth is, it’s unique for each of the women. It was for us. We want you to know that we support you and will do whatever we can to help. If you want her to be with you for the rest of your life, do what you must to show her that she’s special and you want and need her. She’s probably never been treated that way. Without our comhghleacaithe anam , soulmates, we’d still be ruthless mobsters living criminal lifestyles and either dying young or spending our last days in prison. They made us want to be better. We don’t regret what our daid had to do to take care of his family and to protect us or what we had to do, but the day we finally got completely free of the illegal businesses was a great one. We want to have the longest life possible with our loves and our families,” Patrick said. Daid and Sean nodded in agreement.

“I’ve wanted a family of my own since I was in my twenties. It’s only intensified as I aged, but it’s become almost unbearable since Darragh found Ashlynn, and the others began to find theirs. I was beginning to doubt it would happen to me, but then I met Kynedi. My gut and heart knew before my head did. She’s it. Cassius is mine, too. I want it all with them.”

“Then make it so. We’re here to advise. Are you going to read the whole report Cody gives you on her?” Daid asked.

“No, I was waiting until I knew all about her myself before having it done, but it can’t be that way with what she said today. I still want to ask her directly about the rest. He’ll only tell me anything that poses a risk to them.”

“Good. That’s the way you should do it,” Daid said.

“Agreed. Alright, I think we’ve kept you awake long enough. I’m ready for bed. See you later. Get some sleep,” Patrick ordered as he stood.

That was the cue for the other two. Within a minute or so, I was alone again. I finished my whiskey, turned out the lights, and headed to bed. I had a lot to think about and do, but it could wait until morning. I needed my wits to do it, which meant I needed sleep.

???

It was a restless night, but I did succeed in getting a few hours of sleep. When I got up this morning, I knew I wouldn’t be left alone to plan. It was Sunday, so everyone gathered at the family home for breakfast. Sometimes, it ended up being dinner, depending on what was happening. The only way you were allowed to miss was if you were out of town or on your deathbed. If you tried to stay away, the mamaí , moms came hunting you. They’d drag you there by the ear or bring in reinforcements if they had to. It was easier and safer just to go.

Walking into the house, I was overcome with the desire for Kynedi and Cassius to be there with me. Dia , I hoped I could bring her around to my way of thinking soon so they’d be sharing this. It was full of love here. I was more than fortunate to have the family I did. Outsiders would be astonished at how close and loving we were. All they saw was power and wealth. We were so much more than that.

Going to the kitchen, where all the voices came from, I noted that most of us were here. The rest would come meandering in soon. Walking past Shane, I snatched the glass of orange juice he was holding and took a big gulp of it. I knew I had to move fast. A smack to the back of my head a second after I swallowed was his opening volley. I loved to give my brothers a hard time, even more so than my cousins.

“He stole my juice,” Shane called out.

“He hit me,” I said, right behind him. We were directing it to our parents. Mam rolled her eyes and went back to what she was doing. Daid smirked as he played the game. “ Buachaillí , Boys, settle down before I have to take you in hand.”

I reached over and tried to grab a piece of bacon on the platter. I knew it was a no-no, but I did it anyway. Brenda slapped my hand hard. She gave me her stink-eye look. “If you don’t want to lose your hand, stay away from the food,” she warned me.

“ Aintín Brenda is being mean,” I called out as I winked at her. She laughed. It had been a while since anyone had acted like we were little kids again.

“She should smack you harder,” Aisling said. She came wandering in with Alistair right on her heels. She went to the plate piled high with pastries. She took one and moaned when she took a bite of it. No one reprimanded her.

“Hey, why does she get to eat and the rest of us don’t?” I protested.

“Because she’s growing a baby. Those who do that get food. Here, Karizma, you have one too,” Maeve said as she handed a pastry to my sister-in-law.

I sidled up to Riza and batted my eyes at her. I rested my head on her shoulder. “You’re my favorite sister-in-law. How about you give me a bite? I know you like me the best,” I teased.

She burst out laughing, but the mean woman didn’t give me a taste. Instead, she told me around the bite she had in her mouth, “I’m your only sister-in-law so far, and that won’t work on me. Mmm, this is so good.”

This got all of us guys protesting and decrying its inequality. We yelled about favoritism. It was a loud and boisterous debate, which included a lot of laughing. As we did it, we weren’t idle. The rest of the food was cooked, and the large dining table we would all sit at was set up with plates, silverware, and everything else we’d need. By the time we calmed down, it was time to eat. The laden bowls and platters were taken to the table. We dug in after we sat down, and a quick prayer was said. We were noisy in a different way then. It mainly centered around the quality of the food and praising it. On Sundays, the three older women fixed the meal with directions and some help from Mamó . Agatha was the family cook, but she didn’t work all the time.

It wasn’t until after breakfast was over, the kitchen was cleaned, and Alexis took Khloe off to play that it became serious. It was as if the entire family had conferred and decided to chime in on my life, particularly how it would be so much better with Kynedi and Cassius in it—as if I didn’t already know that.

“Brother, tell us what you did to upset Kynedi. She was having a good time, and then boom, she withdrew from us. I got the feeling she couldn’t leave fast enough. Please tell me you didn’t fuck up,” Aisling said first. She was frowning at me. Before I could defend myself, Aidan jumped in.

“He obviously put his foot in something and ticked her off.”

“If he did, he must’ve gotten that from his oldest brother,” Riza reminded him with a smirk.

“ Aingeal , Angel, you know I didn’t mean it. I made a stupid mistake, and I made up for it.”

“You did, but it was still a major screw-up. So if Tiernan did the same, it’s because he’s been taking lessons from you. He should be careful who he emulates.” There was a definite twinkle in her eyes. I had to fight not to laugh. Maybe this would put the focus on someone else. Wrong. It was merely a momentary diversion before I was remembered.

“What did you do, Tier?” Darragh asked.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Cara asked.

“We like them. Don’t let them get away,” Rian added. There were more muttered words of agreement. I gave in before they went off the deep end and began to interrogate me more. “Listen, yes. She left upset. It was because I questioned her about something she didn’t want to discuss.”

“What was it?” Rory asked.

“Maybe it’s personal. Did you ever think that?” I asked.

“So what if it is? We’re family. You can tell us anything. Especially when it pertains to you keeping your anamchara ,” was his comeback.

“And you’re all convinced Kynedi is my anamchara ?” I wanted to know what they would say.

The resounding yeses from them all made me smile. After they quieted, I continued, “I believe she is, too. And I don’t want to lose her. Kynedi got upset when she was talking about some men becoming monsters. I asked if Cassius’s father was one. She didn’t want to say, but I pushed. She admitted he was and that she got them away from him once she found out what he was like. I wanted to know if he was still a threat so that I could protect them. She didn’t like it. She said he wasn’t a worry to come back into their lives, but I’m not convinced.”

“Tell me you put Cody on the case to find out,” Darragh growled.

“I did, though I wanted to wait and find out about her myself. I have to know if there’s a damn threat out there. I want to know where he is, even if he’s not a direct threat to them.”

“Do the Hounds need to go on a hunt?” Alistair asked. I heard anticipation in his voice.

“I don’t believe the Hounds will be necessary. Good old O’Sheeran hunting will be enough. Whoever this guy is, if he hurt them, and I get the feeling he did, he needs to be exterminated,” I snapped. I was seeing those damn images again.

“Damn right he does,” Fallon muttered.

“Here’s what I suggest, Mac . You work on getting Kynedi to forgive your pushing for the information. You need to work on bringing her and Cassius into the fold. As we told you last night, do everything possible to get them. When Cody reports back to you, then we can plan what needs to be done,” Daid advised.

“Last night? When did that happen, and how did I miss it?” Cathal asked.

“ Daid , Patrick, and Sean came to see me late last night. We talked.”

“Crap, and we missed it. No more secret meetings without us. We all have to be in on this kind of thing. How else will the rest of us learn not to make the mistakes these guys did?” Cathal asked as he gestured to the four men already settled down. He didn’t include the three older ones.

I chuckled despite its seriousness when the other single guys grumbled in agreement. I shot off a question to Cara and Siv.

“Are you two taking notes so you don’t mess up, too?”

“No need. We’re smarter than you knuckleheads. We’re not going to step in shit like you guys do. We’ll be on the opposite side of it. Whoever we end up with will be messing up, no doubt, like you lunkheads,” Siv said confidently.

“No doubt,” Cara tacked on with a smile.

“We should’ve spanked you more as kids,” Ciaran said as he eyed his sister, Cara. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“We tried with Siv, but she was vindictive,” Declan claimed of his sister. Darragh, as her oldest brother, nodded.

The girls snorted. “As if. We never got a spanking from any of you. On the other hand, Daid and Mam , yes, if we were horrible. However, we didn’t get them as often as we should’ve earned them. We learned to be sneaky,” Siv admitted.

“What did you do?”

“How did we miss those?” Other remarks were made, but Patrick got them back on topic, much to my disappointment. I loved them but didn’t want them all up in my life. They relaxed and gave me expectant looks.

“Why’re you looking at me that way?” I asked.

“We want to know what you plan to do to make up with her. You might need help or advice. We’re here to give it. And if you come up with a stupid idea, we can tell you before you make a bigger mistake,” Cillian said.

“Since none of you have an anamchara , it may be best if he asks for advice from the ones who do. Although you listening wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Sean told us.

There were some mild grumbles, but they seemed to understand. I thought we were done, but Mamó spoke. Everyone paid attention when she did.

“Tiernan, that sweet girl needs us. She needs love and someone to protect her physically and emotionally. She’s had it hard. I can see it. I don’t know all the details, but it radiates from her. Ask Maeve.”

Maeve was a healer like those of old—the Druids. And like them, she was thought to be able to sense and see things others couldn’t—to have second sight. Some versed in the old ways called her a bean feasa , a wise woman, a Druí Ceilteach , a Celtic Druid, or a bean draoí , a witch woman.

She never confirmed it, not even to her family, but I’d seen things over my life that convinced me she was more. Mamó was the same. Sometimes, the two of them would tell family members not to do things or make certain business moves. Later, we’d find out something went wrong, and our decision to listen to them saved us money or from serious injury. On the opposite end, sometimes, by following their advice, we made out big. I waited to see what Maeve would say.

“I agree with Seerie that Kynedi is emotionally scarred and has most likely suffered physical pain at the hands of someone. She’s not about to trust easily. As for her assertion that Cassius’s father isn’t a threat, I have this feeling. It’s telling me that may not be true. They’re at risk. I don’t know when or how, but you must get them to allow you in and provide for them as soon as possible. They need to be brought into the family as quickly as you can. Whatever help we can give you, we will. They’re much like our Riza and Khloe in some ways, but I sense their plight is worse.” She gave me a concerned look. A shiver of fear went through me. The rest of the family were just as affected.

“Thank you, aintín . I’ll do everything in my power to protect and convince them to let me into their lives,” I vowed.

“I know you will. Don’t wait to hear what Cody finds. Get to work.”

After this revelation, our family discussion ended. We each had things we wanted to do for the rest of our day. Tomorrow would be back to work for all of us. As much as I ached to rush to her apartment and begin the process, I didn’t. Instead, I went home to plot out my next steps.