Kynedi Chapter 2

Cassius couldn’t stop talking about the trip to Tiernan’s Steeds. He’d always been fascinated with horses, even from a very young age. Seeing them in books or on television had seemed to calm him. If he were overly agitated, I’d find a book or show with them in it. While I’d thought of taking him somewhere that he might be able to see them, I hadn’t. I was worried if I did that, he’d get upset when he couldn’t ride them. I wasn’t able to afford the fees to make it possible.

When I was approached by the principal, Cass’s teacher, his counselor, and Mr. Elliotson, I worried they were about to tell me something bad about a situation at the school. It wouldn’t be the first time Cass had issues, or I was called in for a meeting. It was standard when your child was like mine. Imagine my surprise when they told me about a new program offered at a stable in town. As Mr. Elliotson explained Maggie’s Moppets, excitement began to bubble inside me, but I fought it down. There had to be a catch. The only thing I could think of was the cost. I let that conversation repeat in my head.

“Ms. Carmichael, this program at Maggie’s Moppets has been designed especially for children with Cassius’s challenges. The fact that he already responds to horses was why we wanted to pilot it with him first. If it goes well, then other children within the district may join and benefit from it,” Elliotson explained.

“I appreciate that something like this is available. However, Cassius’s love of them doesn’t negate the fact that riding lessons cost money. I don’t have any extra money. If I did, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to find someone else.”

It almost killed me to say it. I wanted my son to have this, but I had to be realistic about what we were capable of. Spending money on non-essentials such as riding lessons wasn’t it. It made me feel like such a horrible mother. I fought not to let tears fill my eyes. I blinked.

“That’s the beauty of it. There’s no cost to you. The owner of the stables is offering it. It’s a project he believes in. Many, if not all, of the horses are former racehorses. There’s nothing to worry about. He’ll be safe. Their running days are far behind them. They have every safety precaution there is. We want you to think about it,” Mr. Elliotson added.

The whole time, he was the only one to say anything. The principal, his counselor, and the teacher sat there mute—not a shock. They tended to be that way with me. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on many things regarding my son and how to deal with his behaviors. I knew they would prefer us to disappear, but it wasn’t happening. After another ten minutes of back-and-forth, I gave in. It wouldn’t hurt to go and see if it was all he said it was or if they were full of it.

After today, I had to concede that he hadn’t lied. It turned out to be more than I expected. Watching the wonder and joy it brought to my son was breathtaking. What was even more so was the man who was responsible for it, Tiernan O’Sheeran. It had been explained that the stables were owned by the O’Sheeran family. You’d have to live in the wild without outside contact not to know who they were in our town. People loved to gossip about them and how they were part of the Mafia.

I took that with a grain of salt. If they were really what people said they were, why hadn’t they been arrested? Undoubtedly, one of them would’ve messed up and gotten caught if they were into all the illegal things you think of when you hear the word Mafia. Those old gangster movies pop into your head, or at least they did mine. I’d seen photographs of them since I’d lived here. They were a large family of siblings and cousins.

They were all devastatingly good-looking—the women beautiful and the men handsome as sin. However, meeting Tiernan in person told me the photographs didn’t do him justice. He was dazzling, and a woman could easily find herself sucked in by him—well, most women. I knew masculine beauty could hide a deep well of darkness. I resisted his effortless charm while admiring him in my head.

He was tall. As evidenced by his tan, he obviously spent a lot of time outside. His dark brown hair was worn longer on top in a slight pompadour. It suited him. His face was masculine, with a thin, sparse beard and mustache and a patch of hair in the center below his bottom lip. A strong nose and full lips, with the bottom slightly fuller than the top, made for a magnificent face. The addition of intense blue eyes only made it more unfair.

When I saw him, my heart lurched, and heat infused my body for the first time in years. It was such an unexpected reaction that I was unable to say anything or move when he first introduced himself. Thankfully, I recovered quickly. It would’ve been mortifying if he realized I was practically drooling. A man like him got that enough from women. It had to get old. Or maybe not, if it got him countless women in his bed.

I worked to focus on what he was saying. His interactions with Cassius had stunned me. It was obvious that he had some knowledge of dealing with children who were autistic. He let Cass dictate physical contact. However, he didn’t talk to him like he was mentally slow or stupid. Sometimes, people did that when they discovered Cass’s challenges. It infuriated me. Even teachers, who you would think should know better, did it. Case in point—the teacher he had this year. One day, I’d lose control and lay my hands on her. She had no clue how to work with him. It wasn’t as if he was the only kid in that school who was neurodivergent, for God’s sake.

Cassius had been excited for so long after we got home that it was hard to get him to focus enough to eat dinner, take his bath, and then settle down to sleep. It finally happened about fifteen minutes ago. If only I could be in bed sleeping. Instead, I was at the kitchen table, typing up notes. I worked for a company, transcribing their doctors’ notes. It was mainly for the older doctors who hadn’t embraced technology. They still wanted to dictate their notes and have someone type them up. They’d review it and either ask me to make corrections or sign off on the notes.

It had been a fluke how I got the job. I’d been looking for extra work, and a client mentioned it. She knew someone who was looking. An introduction was made, and before I knew it, they offered me a job, even though I had no medical knowledge. That was two years ago. I’d educated myself on medical terminology and more in those two years. I was proud of the work I did. I only wish I had more who needed it. It took this job, my masseuse clients, and cleaning a couple of larger offices to make our bills. And even though technically I had three jobs, there was rarely extra money left over. Most nights, I was lucky to get five hours of sleep. My day started at six with Cass. The job of being a single mother never ended.

Yawning, I struggled to stay awake and listen to the doctor droning in my ear through the earphones I wore. They prevented me from keeping Cassius awake. I gave myself a physical shake and blinked to focus. The words were blurring and running together. It was going to be a long night. Between thoughts of Tiernan O’Sheeran and my tiredness, I kept going off track. Enough! You have work to do. Morning will be here before you know it, Kynedi. Focus! I ordered myself.

???

The weekend was over with, not that it was much of one for me. On the weekends, I cleaned the two office buildings I had. Since they were only open on weekdays, it was the ideal time to do it. I could take Cassius with me, and he’d entertain himself while I cleaned. I tried to make it as fast as possible so there was still time for him and my other work when he went to bed. We’d always find something special to do, whether it was to go to the park, get an ice cream, or watch the ocean as we walked on a beach. During the week, I had my massage clients. That’s what I did while he was in school. I couldn’t afford daycare.

Today, he was supposed to go back to the stables. The first time was meant to get him used to the place and introduce him to the horses and some people who worked there. Today was to see if he’d get up on a horse. I had no idea if he would. He was excited yet anxious, too.

We were going there after I picked him up from school, meaning we’d get there around four. I wondered who would be working with him. The ones we’d met on Friday had all been nice. I had no clue who would be helping him this time. A tiny niggling in the back of my mind whispered, too bad it won’t be Tiernan so that you can drool.

I pushed it away. Checking the clock, I saw it was time to get in the school pickup line. Grabbing my purse and car keys, I ran outside. Getting into my old Civic, I turned the key in the ignition. The loud, groaning, whiny sound it made had me praying. Please start. I was saying that more and more often these days. It was on its last leg, but I couldn’t afford to buy anything, not even used. It was a miracle I’d gotten this one when I did.

It wasn’t a far drive to the school after I got the car started. As I sat there, I counted the minutes until school was out. When it was, kids came pouring out the doors like locusts. I scanned the crowd for my son. I recognized his gait before I did him. He was lumbering along. He had a trudge, as I called it. No matter that I might not be able to see his face or recognize his clothes or backpack, that walk gave him away every time. And he seemed only to do it when at school. His head was down. He avoided making eye contact.

He got into the back seat. I didn’t want him in the front. I felt he was safer in the back. He put on his seatbelt and then looked at me. I saw enthusiasm on his face. “Are we going to see the horses?”

“Yes, we are.”

His smile was blinding. The whole way there, we talked about the horses and what he thought he might get to do today. He was hoping to get at least to sit on one. Last time, Tiernan spent our time teaching him what was safe and not safe around them. Cass soaked it up. He was highly intelligent, and when he took an interest in something, he learned everything he could and retained it. He had laser focus. It was almost as if he had a photographic memory.

Pulling into the parking lot beside the stables, I examined the cars. I didn’t see any that were as old and worn as mine, but I tried not to let it bother me. Not all of us could be well-off. Who cared if mine had a few rusted-through places? I was happy as long as it ran and didn’t fall to pieces.

“Wait for me,” I shouted as he hopped out of the car.

I shut off the engine and hurriedly took my key out of the ignition. Snatching up my purse, I got out and rushed around the car to take his hand. He was surveying the area. As soon as I was with him, off he went. For a little kid, he practically dragged me to the horses. I held in my chuckle. We were almost to the large barn-like doors when a man stepped out of the inner shadows. I gulped as I recognized him. It was Tiernan. I hadn’t expected him to be here. Maybe he was by accident. He probably saw us and decided to say hello. Yeah, that was it. He smiled and waved. To my shock, Cass waved back. It usually took him a long time to warm up to people. Many of them he never did. To see him seemingly at ease after one encounter with Tiernan was astounding.

When we made it to him, Tiernan held out his hand to Cass. “Hey there, Cassius. It’s good to see you. There are a few horses who are gonna be happy to see you, too. I think they need more head and nose rubs.”

“They do?” Cassius asked.

“They do. Hello, Ms. Carmichael. I didn’t mean to be rude. How’re you today?” His attention shifted to me.

“Hello, Mr. O’Sheeran. I wasn’t offended. I’m fine. How are you?” We were walking inside.

“Great. I’ve been waiting all day for Cassius to get here. I have something I believe he’s going to love. Oh, and please, call me Tiernan. All this mister stuff isn’t necessary.”

I was trying not to get lost in his gaze. It took a couple of moments for it to click what he said. When it did, I cobbled a response together.

“If you insist. And please, call me Kynedi. You said you have something he’ll love. Can I ask what? Or is it a surprise?”

“It’s not exactly a surprise, so you can ask. But I don’t want to answer until we get to a horse. Cassius, do you have a preference for which one we use for it?”

Cass took his time contemplating the six horses before us. In the end, he pointed not at Sampson but at Blazer, another stud we’d met last time.

“Good choice. The first thing we want to do is get Blazer out of his stall and then put a saddle and his other equipment on him. I’ll take you through what each piece of equipment is called. Then, we’ll get you up in the saddle so you get used to what it feels like to be on a horse and in a saddle. I warn you. A saddle can make your bottom sore if you’re in it for hours. I’ve walked funny a lot of times.”

He winced and demonstrated what he meant. Cass giggled while I had to smile. I bet it did rub your poor ass raw. And he had a fine ass. Stop it!

I stood back and let them do their thing. Cassius listened attentively to every word that came out of Tiernan’s mouth. He was soaking it up like a sponge. I practically saw the wheels in his head turning. By the time this whole riding experiment was done, he’d be an encyclopedia of knowledge. Wait. That raised a question I needed to know the answer to.

Cass was rubbing Blazer’s head and whispering to him. I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I directed my question to Tiernan. “Mr. O’Sheeran, how long is this pilot supposed to last for Cassius?”

“It’s Tiernan, and I’m not sure what you mean by pilot.” He frowned.

“Well, Mr. Elliotson said you wanted to try it on a child, hence Cassius’s involvement, and that it was a pilot. Those only last so long. I’d like to know so I can prepare him for when he’ll no longer come here.” I wasn’t looking forward to that at all. Cass would throw a fit, and when it was something he loved, those could last a long time and be utterly exhausting. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Damn!

“Kynedi, there’s been a misunderstanding. Yes, Cassius is a test case. However, there’s no ending his participation. As long as he wants to come and spend time here, he’s more than welcome. That boy already came here with a love of horses. It’s deepening. They’ll be a lifelong passion for him.”

“Okay, but once he’s an adult, he won’t be able to come here unless there is a way to pay for the riding time by then. I know that’s years away, but I want to be prepared.”

I hated talking about my lack of money. It made me feel like a failure. Most people would say that at eighteen, it was Cassius’s job to worry about paying for riding time since he would be an adult. While he was very smart, I didn’t see him suddenly able to cope with everything on his own the moment he turned eighteen. He’d still need guidance in some areas and possibly always would.

“Maggie’s Moppets benefits children like Cassius, but Tiernan’s Steeds is for everyone. This means even if someone is an adult and wants to ride, they can. Those who can pay will, and those who can’t won’t.”

“How can you keep it going if you do that? Sorry, I don’t mean to pry. I just know that it isn’t cheap.” After our last time here, I’d researched what keeping a horse costs. It was staggering.

“The money will come from me. And, if necessary, my family will contribute. We believe in this and what it can do.”

“That’s an incredible amount of money. Would you stick to only six horses?”

“No, I plan to expand. Money won’t be an issue.”

As I tried to absorb that, he went back to teaching Cass about the various pieces of equipment. I wasn’t surprised when my son began naming them off before Tiernan could. See, he’d been studying. He would use my desktop computer to do things online, and he had several books on horses.

Time flew by. I absorbed as much as possible because I knew my son would want to discuss everything after we left. Before I knew it, we’d been there almost two hours. He’d made it to sitting in the saddle and looked so proud. I snapped a couple of pictures of him with my camera on my phone.

“Cassius, we need to go. It’s been two hours. Tiernan has been kind long enough. He’s a very busy man. Tell him thank you and see what he wants you to do to help get Blazer back in his stall.”

Immediately, he pouted out his bottom lip and gave me a beseeching look. “No, please, Mommy. I want to stay longer.”

“Cass, we have to leave. Don’t do that. If you do, we won’t be able to come here. I told you. No fighting me.” I reminded him of our conversation before we came here last time.

He dropped his head and said softly, “Yes, Mommy. Sorry.”

“Good boy, okay, let’s get Blazer tucked in. I bet he goes to sleep early.”

Tiernan hadn’t said a word. He merely watched us. When I mentioned Blazer and sleep, he took it as his cue.

“Your mama is right. He’ll need to be brushed and given food and water before he can sleep. If you have time, you can help me do that. Do you have time, Mama?” he asked me.

“Yes, we can do that.” If it kept Cassius from throwing a fit, I’d take the time it cut into my work waiting at home. I’d just have to stay up later.

A half-hour later, Tiernan was walking us to our car. Cass was skipping along, smiling. I was embarrassed for him to see my car, but there was nothing I could do about it. He insisted on walking us to it. Tiernan opened my door as Cassius got in the backseat and buckled in. It was unexpected.

“Oh, uhm, thank you for taking time out of your day for him. I understand we’re supposed to do this on Tuesdays and Fridays. Please, don’t feel obligated to be here for all of them. He’ll be happy to work with whoever is available.”

“I don’t feel obligated. I want to do it. The only time I won’t be here is if something unexpected comes up with my other work. If that happens, I’ll let you know. I think we should exchange phone numbers, just in case. And if you can’t make it for some reason, you can let me know.” He took out his phone and gave me an expectant look.

Not having a good excuse not to, I fumbled and got mine out. A quick conversation between us and the numbers were exchanged. After I put mine away, I went to get in the car. I needed to get Cass home, fed, and into bed. Tiernan grabbed my hand and held on while I got in. I’d never had a man do that before. It was unsettling in different ways. He let go once I was seated.

“Drive safe. I’ll see you on Friday. Cassius, we can take the horse around the ring with you in its saddle if you’re ready.” The look on my son’s face told me he was all for it even before he clapped his hands and nodded.

“Thank you. See you Friday,” I told him, not knowing what else to say. He closed my door. When he didn’t walk off, I turned the ignition, praying it would start immediately without the embarrassing sputtering sounds. I was lucky. Waving, I put it in gear and took off for home. The whole way there, I kept getting lost in thoughts of the program, Tiernan, and how he made me feel.

???

Days after the second lesson, I was still dragging. I worked late Monday and Tuesday nights to catch up on all my transcribing and household chores, such as cleaning and laundry. Cassius was talking nonstop about it. Getting him to sleep at night was hard, but I wouldn’t change it. He hadn’t ever been this happy.

I was on my last massage client and then off to pick him up at school. There was a school bus that stopped not far from my house, but after Cass was picked on repeatedly when he rode it, I refused to make him endure it. Kids were cruel little shits. And unfortunately, most of their parents did nothing to correct their offspring, which meant they’d grow up to be adult assholes.

This client was new to me. He’d called and asked for an appointment at the spa I worked at. He asked for me by name, saying a friend had recommended me. That wasn’t unusual, so I thought nothing of it. I gave massages to men and women. He’d greeted me with a handshake and told me his name was Von and that one of my regulars, Calvin, had recommended he try me.

As the massage went along, I felt a little creeped out. Von wanted to chat, which was typical for some, and I didn’t mind. The questions he was asking were the problem. Rather than sharing about himself, he kept asking me things such as what my favorite restaurant and food were, what I liked to do in my free time, if I was married, and so forth. It felt more like a first date than a massage. I kept returning the conversation to him, hoping he’d get the hint, but he didn’t. By the time it was over, I was exhausted and didn’t want to see him again. Not that I told him that. I’d tell my boss not to book him with me and to warn others how he was. It was up to her to refuse him service altogether.

When I returned after leaving him to get dressed, he held up his phone. “Great massage. Give me your number so I can book my appointments directly with you.” He was smiling. Looking at him, one would say he was an attractive man in his thirties. He was well dressed. I bet many women would jump on the chance to exchange phone numbers, hoping it might lead to more. I wasn’t one of them.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but that’s against the rules. You can always call the front desk, and they’ll book you. I hate to run, but I need to be somewhere. I hope you enjoyed your massage.”

I was walking out of the room. He hurried to follow me as I headed for the front. There were people out there. Being alone with him was making my skin crawl. He tried convincing me to do it anyway, but I refused. I smiled, wished him a good day, and escaped into the back again. He scowled. I was racing the clock to pick up Cass, so I didn’t talk to my boss, Jeanmarie. I’d tell her about him tomorrow.

I made it to the school with five minutes to spare, so I was at the end of a long line of cars. If I wasn’t close to the doors, Cassius knew where to stand and wait until I got to him. I didn’t want him wandering all over the place. It took time, but eventually, I got there, and he jumped into the car. Like it had been for days, he launched into talking about horses. To my surprise, though, he mentioned Tiernan several times. He tended not to acknowledge people much in person or after the fact.

I mainly listened and occasionally said something. At home, I had to make him focus on his homework while I fixed dinner. Afterward, he had playtime before his bath, then bedtime. By the time he was fast asleep, I was ready to sleep but had work to do. A new transcription came in today. Settling at the kitchen table, I put on my headphones and got down to it. No matter how tough it might be, I would never stop doing whatever was needed to provide for my son and to protect him. You couldn’t rely on appearances to identify monsters in the world.

I made it to bed by one in the morning. I groaned as I stretched out and closed my eyes. I couldn’t wait for the weekend. At least then, Cass slept in until seven or, if I was lucky, eight. He’d entertain himself for a while if I needed to sleep longer, although I rarely did that. I needed to keep an eye on him. Maybe this weekend we’d go to the beach.