Chapter 6

Chapter Six

H olt

The sun sinks behind the peaks, drenching the mountains in shades of twilight, casting long shadows that stretch over the rocks. The air cools quickly at this height, and the sky transitions from gold to deep indigo, revealing the first pinpricks of stars. Lila and I spread out our sleeping bags on the ledge, the rock beneath us still holding the last warmth of the day. There's a weight in the air that has nothing to do with the mountain chill—something that crackles between us like electricity, humming under my skin.

I recline on my elbows, eyes on the emerging constellations, pretending like I'm unaffected by her presence beside me. But every small shift she makes, every rustle of fabric, pulls at me. Lila sits a few feet away, hugging her knees to her chest, her hair tousled from the climb, a streak of dirt on her cheek that I have the strangest urge to wipe away. She glances at me, but it's like she's looking through a veil, her thoughts somewhere far off, or maybe just buried deep.

She breaks the silence first, her voice cutting through the quiet. "Why'd you do it?" Her question catches me off guard, and I turn my head to look at her. She keeps her eyes on the stars, like she's afraid to see my reaction. "Climbing, I mean. What made you love it so much?"

The question lands heavier than it should, and I feel my jaw tighten. My knee gives a familiar throb, like it knows exactly what I'm about to say. I roll my shoulders, trying to shake off the tension, but the truth sticks in my throat. Finally, I give her the best answer I can manage, my voice rough around the edges. "It was the one place I could shut everything else out. Up there, it's just you and the rock. No noise, no bullshit. Just...the climb."

Her head tilts slightly, considering my words, and for a moment, I wish I could see what's going on behind those dark eyes of hers. "You miss it, don't you?" she asks, her voice quieter, softer, like she's figured out a part of me I haven't even said out loud.

I shrug, looking away, letting my gaze fall back to the horizon where the last light bleeds out of the sky. "Yeah. More than I can explain. But it's not just the climbing I miss." The words spill out before I can stop them, and suddenly, I'm telling her things I've buried deep. "It's...the freedom. The feeling like nothing could touch me."

Silence stretches out between us, but it's not the kind that feels empty. It's heavy with things unsaid, with the unsteady rhythm of our breathing. And then, her hand brushes against mine, her touch tentative, like she's afraid I'll pull away. But I don't. I turn back to her, and she's watching me with an intensity that makes something twist deep in my chest.

"You're still that guy, Holt," she says, and there's a conviction in her voice that almost hurts to hear. "The one who's not afraid of anything."

I huff out a laugh, but there's no humor in it. "You don't know what you're talking about, Lila. I'm afraid of plenty of things."

She shifts closer, her leg brushing against mine, sending a jolt up my spine that I try to ignore. "So am I," she says, her voice barely above a whisper, but it's enough to draw me in. "I've always been afraid—afraid of failing, afraid of being judged, afraid that I'll never be enough." Her laugh is brittle, self-mocking. "My parents have been trying to marry me off to their friends' sons for years. All those buttoned-up Catholic boys who wear suits and ties. They don't grow 'em like you where I come from–all tattoos and beard and…muscle." She giggles.

I glance at her, catching the rueful smile on her lips, the way her expression flickers between amusement and something rawer, more exposed. "I went to a Catholic all-girls school, and then Smith College—also all-girls. I've never known a man like you. A man who breaks the rules instead of following them." Her eyes find mine in the half-light, shadows dancing across her features. "But when I'm up here...when I'm with you...it's different. It's like I can breathe for the first time."

Her words hang between us, raw and unpolished, and they hit me harder than I want to admit. I reach out, cupping her cheek, my thumb grazing her bottom lip. Her skin is warm, her breath hitching under my touch, and for a second, everything else fades away. It's just her, just us, caught in this moment that feels like it could be something more.

"I'll never be that suit-and-tie kind of man, but you don't have to be afraid with me, Lila," I murmur, my voice low, roughened by everything I'm holding back. "I'll catch you. I swear I will."

Her hand comes up, fingers curling around my wrist, holding me there like she's afraid I might pull away. And then, she leans in, closing the space between us, her lips finding mine in a kiss that's sweet and desperate, like she's pouring everything she can't say into it.

The kiss shatters whatever restraint I have left. I wrap my arms around her, dragging her closer until her body presses against mine, her softness fitting perfectly against my rough edges. Her hands tangle in my hair, and I groan against her mouth, letting her feel the need that's been clawing at me since the first time I saw her.

I roll us over until she's beneath me, her back against the cool rock, my weight bracing over her. She looks up at me, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted, and there's a wildness in her eyes that matches the storm raging inside me. I dip my head, brushing my mouth over her jaw, down the curve of her neck, tasting the salt of her skin.

"Tell me to stop," I rasp against her pulse, feeling it quicken beneath my lips. "If you don't want this, tell me now."

Her nails dig into my shoulders, pulling me closer, her breath hot against my ear. "I want it, Holt. I want you."

Her words snap whatever thread of control I had left. I crush my mouth to hers, swallowing her gasp as my hands roam over her, feeling the way she arches into me, the way her body responds like she's been waiting for this as much as I have. It's a heady feeling, the way she melts against me, like she's giving in to something she's fought against for too long.

We lose ourselves in each other, lips and hands exploring, the cool mountain air biting at our heated skin. I slide my hands beneath her layers, finding bare skin, and she shudders, her hips rocking up against mine, making me curse under my breath.

The stars spin above us, a million pinpricks in the velvet sky, but all I can see, all I can think about, is the way she feels against me, the way her breath catches when I run my thumb over the dip of her waist. She's all softness and fire, and I want to burn with her, to forget everything but the way she tastes, the way she moves beneath me, her body arching into mine.

"Lila," I murmur against her lips, my voice breaking with the force of everything I'm feeling, everything I can't put into words. "You have no idea what you do to me."

She pulls back just enough to meet my gaze, her dark eyes shining with something that makes my chest ache. "Show me," she whispers, and it's a command, a plea, everything I never knew I wanted to hear from her.

So I do. I pour everything into that kiss, into every touch, every whispered promise against her skin.

I want this woman—all of her. Her taste, her sounds, her everything.

I watch her bite down on her lip, and it's everything I can do not to tear her apart with my need. There's a hesitation in her eyes, like she's fighting the urge to give in. I can see the way she holds back, as if afraid that wanting this too much will break her.

I take my time, my fingertip skimming the edge of her waistband, teasing her. Her breath catches, a small hum escaping her lips, and it makes me harder, more desperate to possess her. I drop to my knees in front of her, pressing my mouth to the warm skin just above the band of her panties.

Her skin tastes sweet, salty—a mix of innocence and desire.

I trace my tongue slowly, letting it linger, feeling the way her body shudders beneath me. I hook a finger under her panties and begin to slide them down, my knuckles brushing against her wet heat. I'm taking my time, savoring every moment, feeling the tension coil tighter with each slow reveal of her bare skin.

My gaze is Lilaous as I take her in, fully exposed. Her arousal glistens, drawing me in like a magnet. I part her folds with my fingers, stroking her clit in a quick rhythm before slowing down, teasing her, letting her know that I'm in control. Her fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me closer, urging me on.

She tastes like heaven.

I press my tongue deep inside her, moving in and out, feeling her body respond. Her thighs twist, her back arching as she grabs the arm of the couch. The cold window behind her is the only thing grounding her right now, a contrast to the heat building between us.

I keep my movements rough, insistent—just the way I know she likes it. My stubble grazes her thighs as I suck and rub, my fingers relentless against her clit.

"Oh god." Her orgasm crashes over her, and I grip her waist, holding her as she trembles, her cries filling the room.

I pull her into my arms, bringing her mouth to mine, my tongue thrusting past her lips, tasting her, making her taste herself. It's raw, desperate—exactly what I want her to feel. I wrap her legs around my waist, lifting her with ease and carrying her down the hallway.

I throw her onto the bed, my weight pressing her into the mattress as I continue kissing her, devouring every inch of her mouth, every gasp, every sigh.

"Holt?" she whispers, her voice filled with need.

"Hmm?" I murmur against her skin, my lips trailing down to her cleavage. I tug her bra down, exposing a perfect nipple, and I capture it with my mouth, sucking hard, flicking my tongue over the sensitive peak.

"I—" Her words falter as she watches me, her chest heaving. "Holt, I?—"

"Tell me anything, precious," I say, my voice low and rough. I smile at her—a slow, crooked smile that I know drives her wild—before returning to her breast, sucking and licking, my other hand sliding her panties off completely. I hike her skirt higher, exposing her bare heat to the cool night air.

"Holt—" she moans, as my finger slips into her slick folds, stroking her. I add another finger, pushing deeper, feeling the way she clenches around me.

"Yes, baby?" I tease, my voice a slow, deliberate drawl. I keep thrusting my fingers inside her, making her body sing.

"I'm a virgin."

As soon as she says the words everything in me shifts.

"What? Are–are you sure?" I manage, but my mind spins. There's a swift, sharp ache in my chest, like I've been hit by a blunt force. I can't stay still. I jump up, pacing, my body still humming from her touch, but my thoughts are a tangled mess.

I look back at her, my eyes locking onto hers. Her irises are glazed with the aftermath of lust—raw and real, a look I know I put there. It does something to me, knowing I'm the one who's made her lose control like this. But then I register what she's just said, and the gravity of it sinks in.

She's a virgin.

How? She's so goddamn beautiful, so perfect. She could have any man she wants—yet, she's here with me, a man who's fucked up more times than he can count. A man who doesn't deserve this gift, but wants it more than anything.

"I think I'd remember," she mutters, shifting awkwardly. My heart pounds harder, my hands starting to tremble. I hate the doubt that's crept into her eyes.

I know I should let her go—she deserves someone better, someone good—but I can't. The second I saw her, it was like the ground fell out from beneath me. She's in my blood, running wild through my veins.

"I'm sorry–it's just…I did not expect that," I blurt, my voice raw. I grab her, cupping her face between my hands, forcing her to look at me. "I'm sorry. I was so wrapped up in my own head–you're the only thing that matters to me. Protecting you is all I care about." My voice softens, but the urgency is still there, real and honest.

Her eyes well up, and she squeezes them shut to keep the tears from falling.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you," she finally says, her voice stubborn but shaky.

"Not a chance in hell, baby. I'm glad you told me." I press a soft kiss to her forehead. "It's good you told me. Now I can do this right." I thread my fingers through her hair, guiding her closer for a gentle kiss that's more apology than passion. "Holttiful Lila."

I take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. "Have you ever slept under the stars?"

I unroll my sleeping bag as I speak, eyes never leaving hers. She laughs softly, the sound warm and genuine, easing some of the tension between us. "I don't even have a change of clothes."

"You won't need any." I grin, laying the sleeping bag out for us and settling down on it before pulling her back to me with a new kind of intent. This time, it's not just about desire. It's about giving her what she deserves—something sweeter, more meaningful.

I lay her down gently, slipping the pants down her thighs and then threading my fingers through her hair, my lips brushing along the soft curve of her shoulder, then trailing down the hollow of her throat. She's so goddamn beautiful, and she's mine.

"Panties down," I murmur, my voice low and rough. "Touch yourself for me." Her eyes widen, uncertainty clear on her face, but I can see the curiosity there too.

"Show me how you get that pretty pussy off."

Her breath catches, and she hesitates, her hands shaking slightly. She's pure, untouched—not just by other men, but by herself, too. My heart tightens at the realization, and I feel an overwhelming urge to protect her, to cherish her.

"Take it slow," I whisper, guiding her hand with mine down the soft skin of her thigh, my fingers brushing lightly over the waistband of her panties. Her breathing quickens, and I watch, my gaze fixed on her face. "Slide your fingers over your clit," I instruct gently.

She follows my lead, her fingers moving tentatively at first, then more confidently as she feels the pleasure building. She sighs, her eyes fluttering shut, and I feel a surge of pride and possessiveness.

"Good girl," I murmur, my voice thick with lust. "Keep going, baby. Keep swirling those fingers until you can't take it anymore."

Her face flushes a deep shade of crimson, her nipples pebbling beneath her thin shirt as she gets closer to the edge. I clench my fists at my sides, barely holding back the urge to take her.

"Tell me what you're thinking about," I rasp, slipping a hand down my pants to grasp my cock, my eyes never leaving her.

"I'm thinking about what you'll feel like when you're finally inside me," she breathes, her voice a soft hum. The confession makes me snap.

"Jesus, Lila." I crash down onto her, pushing my fingers through her hair as I kiss her with a hunger I've never felt before. "I haven't touched another woman in over a decade. I haven't even thought about one, not until you walked into my life. You're a brave little bird trying to climb my mountain."

She's everything I've been starving for, everything I didn't know I needed. I trail kisses down her neck, along her collarbone, then down to her breasts. My hands cup her soft curves, my thumbs brushing over her hardened nipples.

I work my way lower, tasting every inch of her skin. I pull her panties off and spread her legs wide, exposing her to my gaze. She's glistening, and I can't resist licking one long, slow stroke up her slit, my tongue circling her clit.

"I'm going to make this as gentle as I can," I murmur as I move back up her body. "But it's going to hurt." I press a soft kiss to her lips, my fingers teasing her entrance to ensure she's ready.

Her body tenses for a moment, but when she starts to relax, I push inside slowly, feeling the resistance. She cries out, her eyes squeezing shut, and I stop, holding still, giving her time to adjust.

"Shh… I'm sorry," I whisper, stroking her hair gently.

Her eyes open, and there's a softness there that breaks something inside me. She nods, her hips beginning to move against mine, and I lose the last shred of control I have. I start thrusting, slowly at first, then faster as she starts to meet me halfway.

Her legs wrap around my waist, her ankles locking behind me as she urges me deeper.

"You feel so damn good," I groan, my voice thick with need. "I can't go slow for much longer."

"Please, more," she breathes, her voice desperate. "I want all of you."

Her words push me over the edge. I thrust harder, faster, losing myself in her warmth. "Lila… Lila…" I chant her name like a prayer, feeling her body surrender completely to me.

When I finally come, it's with a force that leaves me shaking, my arms trembling as I hold myself above her, not wanting to crush her with the weight of my release.

"Holt," she whispers, her voice soft but filled with an uncertainty that makes me pause. "I'm not on birth control."

The words should scare me, but they don't. Instead, they fill me with a strange kind of hope. I look down at her, my heart swelling.

"Well," I say with a grin, "that's an interesting turn of events, isn't it?" I collapse onto her, holding her close, my face buried in her hair.

"Should I… go bathe in the river or something?" she asks, her voice small, unsure. "To make sure I don't get pregnant?"

I chuckle softly, pressing a kiss to her temple. "It doesn't work like that, sweetheart." I tilt her chin up, making her look at me. "And besides," I murmur, my lips brushing over hers, "I like knowing a piece of me is still inside you."

I curl her into me, my body enveloping hers as completely as she's rooted herself inside of my heart.

And as we lose ourselves in the wild, exhilarating freedom of the starry night, I realize that whatever happens next, this is real. It's messy and complicated and terrifying, but it's real. And I know she's worth the risk.