32. Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Two

Cole

Princess or not, Freya deserves a good kick in the pants for making me come to this thing. Sure, I'm not complaining about the flowy blue dress Carissa is wearing or the fact that she's clinging to my arm for dear life as we enter the venue. But there are so many better things I could be doing right now, like sitting in an ice bath or figuring out how to buy the Thunder from the current owners or kissing Carissa until I can't breathe. Especially that last one.

I pause just inside the doors of the massive event center Sage and Javi booked, clenching my jaw. "What if we just tell Freya that we came?" I hold up my phone, camera already on to take a selfie of us and the wedding behind us. "See? We came. Now we can leave."

Snickering, Carissa pinches my side, somehow hitting the one spot I've always been ticklish. I nearly drop my phone as I yelp and twist away, and her eyes go wide. "You're ticklish?" she whispers, like it's the greatest discovery she's ever made.

"Nope." I tug her deeper into the room. We missed dinner as well as the ceremony, which is fine by me, and if I'm going to endure this reception, I'm going to make it happen quickly.

"Evanson?" a deep voice says, pulling me to a stop.

My mouth stretches into a wide grin as soon as I turn around. "Burley!" Slipping away from Carissa, I grab the wide receiver and pull him into a tight hug. He hugs me back, each of us trying to squeeze harder than the other. "It's good to see you, man!"

Once he's free of my hold, he lifts an eyebrow as he studies me, grinning wide. "Did you get bigger or did you just buy a tighter suit?"

I laugh and shrug. "Rugby."

The word sobers him immediately, as if he just now remembered who I am and how long it's been. "Right." He glances to the right, where Sage and Javi are mingling with a group of people. "What are you doing here, Evanson?"

It's a valid question, and one I'm not sure how to answer until a soft hand slips into mine. I look down at Carissa, offering her a smile, and then I say, "Sage invited me," like it's a perfectly normal thing for me to be here. Before Burley can reply, I pull Carissa closer and say, "Carissa, this is Chuck Burley, one of the best receivers in the country. Burley, this is Carissa."

Though Burley waves my praise away, he takes an interest in Carissa, studying her with keen eyes. "Ballsy move," he tells me, "bringing a date like her. You," he says to Carissa, taking her hand and bowing over it, "are exquisite."

"And you are a bit too bold," I growl back.

But Carissa laughs as Burley kisses the back of her hand. "Was Cole this much of a grump when he played with you?" she asks .

"Worse," Burley says, standing straight again. He grins and shakes his head. "Nah, Evanson's always been an easy guy. He just doesn't like when someone plays with his stuff." His eyes dart over to Javi again before fixing on me. "Does he know you're here?"

I shake my head. "I doubt he knows she invited me."

"Probably not," Burley agrees, folding his arms and pressing his lips together. He's clearly expecting some sort of drama to go down, and I'm right there with him. I haven't talked to Javi since the day I quit, and after Sage's whole spiel a few weeks ago about how we weren't good for each other, I can only assume she gave me the invitation for one of two reasons. Either she wanted to deal a wound deeper than she already had, or she hoped I would come and stir up some trouble because she thrives on conflict.

Another thing I didn't realize until I was looking at our relationship in the rearview… Or maybe I realized it because of Carissa, who is anything but confrontational. She's honest and open, and I never wonder what she's thinking. Even now, as she meets my gaze in the soft lighting of the venue, I can practically hear her telling me that she's here to support me however I need.

Burley chuckles, glancing between Carissa and me. "This could be fun. Do me a favor and talk to the bride and groom after they serve the cake."

"Hey." I grab his arm before he can leave. Burley's a good guy and has always been more committed to the game than making money, but I still need to be careful. "How are…things?"

His eyes jump to Javi again before resting on me. "Depends on who you ask," he grunts. "I, for one, miss the good old days when we had guys like you. Take care of yourself, Evanson." He wanders off, pointing a couple of guys in my direction as he goes .

There are so many layers to what he said—and didn't say—and guilt settles heavy in my chest. "It must be worse than I thought," I mutter, clasping Carissa's hand tighter.

"What are you going to do?"

If I hang around and try to get a better sense of how many guys are involved in the bets, my chances of having to talk to Sage and Javi will only get higher. I don't see any of that ending well, but I already abandoned this team once. I don't know if I can do it again now that I'm here.

"I'll be with you the whole time," Carissa says, leaning up on her toes to kiss my cheek.

Her support gives me the courage to step forward and greet another teammate.

I learn some important things while mingling with the Badgers. One, I am clearly not incapable of friendships outside of Derek and his gang because I fall right into step with some of my favorite players like no time has passed at all. Two, the guys I know are into the betting mess do their best to avoid me at all costs, and I am perfectly fine with that. Three, there aren't as many of my former teammates here as I expected, and the ones who don't avoid me look almost relieved to see me, which only reaffirms my resolve to fix things if I can.

It's not easy to bring up the corruption in casual conversation without coming right out and asking, but I do my best, and I've come to a solid conclusion: the good guys all know exactly what's going on and are only playing for Portland because of contracts, and they badly need a rescue. I'm more determined than ever to talk to Darcy and find a way to bring the team back to playing honestly. There are enough players who aren't in on the scheme that the team could survive if there was a way to prove only certain players are rotten.

The other thing I learn, though it's more of a reminder than anything, is Carissa is great at making friends. She and Liam have that in common, and I swear she becomes the most popular person in the whole place in a matter of minutes. In Liam, the trait is maddening because it gets him into trouble, but I can't help but admire the way Carissa so easily connects with people. It gets Carissa into trouble too, but at least she has me to keep an eye on her.

I guess Liam has Kasey now, which reminds me that my night is far from over and I have one more mystery to solve.

When conversation ends between Carissa and the wife of one of the defensive linemen, leaving us relatively alone at the side of the room, I press my hand to Carissa's back and lean in close to speak in her ear. "Are you ready to tell me about your slipup when talking about Liam earlier?"

As I expected, Carissa's face blossoms with pink. "I don't know what you're talking about," she says, but her voice wavers.

I press a lingering kiss to her jaw, loving the way her skin pebbles with goosebumps as I begin trailing kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. "Are you sure?"

"Mmm…" She shivers and grabs my arm, like she's trying to steady herself, so I slide my hand around her waist to offer support and continue brushing kisses along her skin. These explorations of mine are new, but Carissa seems to like them, and I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. Forget Liam. Maybe we can go back to the hotel instead. Spend some time in the hot tub. Watch a movie on the couch in my suite, snuggled up together. Kiss until the sun rises.

"Cole?" The last voice I want to hear cuts through my fantasies, chilling the air around me .

I could ignore her. She would deserve it. But I was forced to come to this wedding for a reason, and it wasn't to kiss the woman in my arms where everyone can see. I don't actually know what the reason is, but I'm probably about to find out.

Lifting my head, I keep Carissa close to my side as I make eye contact with Sage for the first time in weeks. She looks beautiful, her dark hair pulled up in an elegant twist, with a silky white dress hugging her curves and fanning out behind her. It is low cut but elegant at the same time, and she's glowing. The perfect bride. Javier stands beside her wearing a tailored burgundy suit and a clenched jaw, not nearly as flawless as his wife.

"I wasn't sure you would come," Sage says as her eyes drift to Carissa. I can't tell what she thinks of my date, but I also don't care.

Javi turns to look at his bride. "You invited him?" He's a lot easier to read, and he's clearly not happy I'm here.

Sage ignores the question. "Who did you bring with you?"

Before I can say anything, Carissa steps forward and offers her hand. "I'm Carissa. I'm on the Thunder's sports medicine team."

I frown. Of all the ways to introduce herself, why did she choose that? With everyone else, she introduced herself as my friend. I didn't love that label either, but it was better than "coworker."

"Oh, you work with Cole? What is that like?" Sage takes Carissa's hand, but barely. And she does it with her left hand rather than her right so she can show off the ridiculous diamond sitting on her finger.

My mind jumps to the ring still hidden in a drawer in my dresser. I easily could have afforded something just as flashy as the ring Javi bought, considering my salary as quarterback was five times his, but I have always wanted the woman I marry to wear my mom's ring. It doesn't catch the light and sparkle as much as Sage's, but it means so much more.

I wonder if Sage would have even worn it.

"How's your little rugby team?" Javi asks as Carissa tells an indifferent Sage about working with Mel. I don't miss the ice in his tone, but I won't let it bother me.

I simply smile. "They're great. Probably not making the championships this year, but we'll get there."

"I hear you're in charge now, so maybe don't count on it."

Wow . He's clearly not going to pull his punches, and my smile grows as I think about the friends waiting back home. I don't think I've ever heard any of them speak a bad word about anyone and mean it. Liam likes to make his jokes, particularly about me, but he's still one of the best friends I've ever had. And way better than Javi ever was.

I slip my hand into Carissa's, happier than ever that she's just as kind-hearted as my friends. "Well, luckily for me, my team is pretty good at what they do, so they don't need a good captain at their helm. They'll be fine, even stuck with me."

"Hey!" Carissa says, smacking my arm. "You're a great captain! Grayson even said so this morning, and I happen to agree with him."

Huh. I guess he did. Huffing a laugh, I bend down and kiss her temple. "Thanks, Riz."

Javi's eyes jump from Carissa to me, and he grabs Sage by the waist and pulls her against his side, nearly tugging her off her feet. Anger flashes across her face but disappears quickly as she smiles at the two of us, her eyes lingering on our clasped hands.

"I noticed you're extra friendly with everyone you meet, Carissa," she says sweetly. Too sweetly. She's practically dripping with sweetness. "Seems the Thunder couldn't keep away from you during the game last night, so is Cole your flavor of the day?"

"You watched his game?" Javi asks at the same time I step forward and growl, "Watch what you say, Sage. "

Carissa puts her hand on my arm and smiles. "It's okay, Cole," she says, even though it's definitely not. "Not everyone knows better than to believe websites like Hollywood Hot Scoop ."

Sage scoffs. "I wasn't talking about a stupid tabloid site. I watched—"

"Why were you watching his game the night before our wedding?" Javi asks again.

For the first time, I notice something lurking in Sage's eyes as she looks at me. A disappointment of sorts, or maybe even regret. "Because you were passed out drunk," she mutters under her breath, dropping her gaze to the floor. "What else was I supposed to do?"

Javi scoffs, shaking his head and wandering to the bar on the other side of the room, clapping fellow players on the back as he goes.

Carissa reaches out and takes hold of Sage's hand, connected to both of us now. "You look so beautiful, Sage," she says, and her sweetness is genuine. "I'm sorry we missed the ceremony, but I'm sure it was lovely."

Tears well up in Sage's eyes, but she blinks them away and lifts her head high. "Thank you. It was."

I feel like I should say something, but what am I supposed to say? "He won't drink during the season." That was the best you've got? Grimacing, I look at Carissa and hope she has something better.

But it's Sage who speaks next. "You're more than coworkers, aren't you?"

Meeting Carissa's gaze, I wonder how she might answer that question. But it's clear she's waiting for me, which makes sense. She's been up front about what she wants, and I'm the one who can't find the courage to admit what I want.

I know what I don't want. I don't want to be at my wedding reception, wondering if I made a mistake because Carissa is there with someone who makes her smile and brings out the best in her. I don't want my bride wandering away to talk to her friends rather than sticking by my side. I don't want to be forty years down the road wondering "what if" when I have a chance to find out instead.

Swallowing, I keep my eyes on Carissa as I say, "We are so much more than coworkers. More than friends. And I hope that it keeps turning into more."

Carissa beams and squeezes my hand, and if Sage wasn't standing right in front of us, I would pull Carissa into a kiss and prove that I mean what I said. No curse can keep me from doing everything I can to live my life to its fullest, and I want to live it with Carissa. I can't imagine life could ever be better than it would be with her.

"Huh." Sage pulls her hand free from Carissa's, looking at me like she's never seen me before. "So that's what it looks like when you're really in love."

My stomach twists into a knot as she wraps an arm around herself and takes a step back, looking smaller than I've ever seen her. "Sage."

She holds up a hand and smiles. "No. Don't say anything. We weren't good together, and you were never going to try to stop my wedding, so I shouldn't have…" Pursing her lips, she turns without another word and follows Javi to the bar.

Part of me wants to follow her and make sure she's okay, but the larger part of me is frozen, trying to understand why she would ever think I would do something like that. I didn't stop her from breaking up with me, which I realize now is probably why she came back to tell me about her wedding, hoping I would beg her to take me back.

What if I had begged?

Since the breakup, there has always been a part of me that hated how easily I gave up on us, but as I stand in the middle of a gaudy wedding that could have been mine, I feel nothing but relief. I wasn't meant for this life. I wasn't meant for Sage.

"I hope she'll be okay," Carissa says, her eyes still on Sage and full of concern .

Letting out a single laugh, I pull her into my side—gently—and kiss the top of her head. "You are spectacular, Carissa Paxton."

"Maybe we should—"

"We should leave. Sage can look after herself; she always has."

Thankfully, Carissa doesn't argue even though I can tell she still worries about leaving. But if I know Sage like I think I do, odds are high she's going to be filing for divorce within the year and taking Javi for everything he's worth. She'll be fine.

Hand in hand, we pass by the table with the cake and steal a couple of plates to go, and I snag the first car we can get so we can head to the Moda Center where Liam's opening act is probably in the middle of her set right now. We eat our cake as we ride through downtown Portland, and I'm not sure I've ever been happier.