17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Carissa

I wish I had been nosier.

I was trying to be a good friend and give Cole some space so he could talk to Derek in private, but hearing Cole's side of the conversation made me desperately want to creep closer and try to overhear whatever Derek was saying. Cole didn't seem to like it, but I could practically see him lowering his shields at the end there.

And now I can't see anything at all.

If I had had worse self-control, I might have been next to Cole and not freaking out by myself in the dark.

"Cole?" I whisper, my voice trembling against my will. There are too many things in the room for me to trip over if I try to move closer to him.

He swears softly. "Sorry. I panicked."

That's great and all, but I don't like being in the dark, and there aren't any outside windows in this place. The corridor outside is too dimly lit to offer much light through the frosted glass in the door, so I feel like I'm in a giant, empty void, which might be one of my biggest nightmares coming to life.

"Cole," I say again, hating how pathetic I sound. I am a grown woman, for goodness' sake!

He swears again, and I can just barely see his body move in front of the window in the door. The sounds of voices and footsteps passing by offer a nice reprieve from the silence but aren't as comforting as I would like. "I'd turn the light back on," Cole says, his voice gentle, "but the guys will get the wrong idea about us. I don't want to put you in that situation."

"Fine. I get it. But…" I swallow and strangle the strap of my bag. "I really don't like the dark. At all."

Something touches me and I shriek, only to be tugged off balance and into a solid chest. "It's just me," Cole says softly. "Sorry."

I don't care how sweaty he is. I wrap my arms around his torso and grip the back of his jersey. Kit? I think it's called a kit. It's surprisingly tight on his body, but I hold on to it anyway.

"I'm sorry," Cole says again, and his arms wrap me up in a protective hold, just like he did on the field. His hands are warm on my back as he envelops me, and it feels so nice to be in his arms that I start to panic about how much I want this. How much I want him .

How did that happen?

"Cole?" I whisper into his firm chest.

"Hmm?"

"You smell terrible."

He laughs and tries to pull away, but I hold on tight. This could be my last chance to be held by him because I can't let myself fall for this man. I have to stay focused on my job and make a new career for myself. It's as much about avoiding Cole's very public life as it is building a rapport with the team so they trust me to look after them.

"I know," Cole says, and I realize with horror that I was speaking my thoughts out loud. "This can't happen."

"Because of your curse?" I ask.

His hold tightens. "Yes. But also…the guys are all hoping for a shot with you, and if they hate me now…"

I tilt my head back, trying to see his face in the darkness. I can't see much, but I can tell he's looking down at me. "Are you trying to say they'd be jealous of you if we started dating?" A chill runs through me at the thought, and it's probably a sign that I have a serious problem.

Cole's hand moves up my back to my neck, then around to my jaw. "You have no idea," he murmurs. "Which is why this is a very bad idea."

"What's a bad idea?" I murmur back because I can't tell if he's leaning in to kiss me and I would very much like him to do that.

"Everything when it comes to you."

His nose brushes mine at the same time my phone starts ringing in my bag. He's instantly gone, leaving me breathless as I dig into my bag to silence the stupid interruption before someone hears. But when I see that it's Darcy calling, I figure I should probably answer it.

"Hey."

"Don't you hey me, Carissa Lynn Paxton! What is this about you and Cole Evanson? Is any of this article true?" She's so loud that Cole snickers, probably hearing every word.

I heave a sigh, wishing I had saved this conversation for when I was alone. "Are you going to shout at me this whole time?" I ask calmly.

Darcy scoffs. "That depends on the answers to my questions. Tell me you're not hooking up with one of the players."

"I'm not hooking up with any of the players, Darce. Would you relax?"

Cole coughs .

I reach forward to smack him, but he catches my hand and presses it between both of his, pulling me close again. Even if he can't see my expression, I glare at him. "This is not a game we should play," I whisper, shivering when he chuckles.

"What?" Darcy says. "Are you with someone? Are you with Cole ?"

"I'm not dating Cole!"

"You'd better not be."

I frown, momentarily distracted from the warmth of Cole's hands. I can almost see him now as my eyes adjust. "What does that mean? What do you have against Cole?"

Darcy scoffs again. "He's a professional athlete, Rizzo."

"And?"

"And…and professional athletes are egotistical hotheads."

"Hey!" a male voice says in the background. Houston, probably. "You married a pro athlete."

"Technically, I married a retired pro athlete," Darcy counters. "And you are a decent human."

"Cole is a decent human," I throw out there. "But I'm still not dating him."

"Are you sure?"

Of course, Cole chooses that moment to start massaging my hand, which is a ridiculous thing for a guy to do when he is just as adamant about our relationship staying in the friend zone as I am. Then again, he's the one who was about to kiss me. Never mind I was about to let him.

"Will you stop?" I hiss, tugging my hand free.

"I'm sorry," Darcy says, probably thinking I was talking to her. "I just know how much power the media can have, and I don't like that you've been dragged into the tabloids. The two of you look seriously cozy in this picture, Rizzo. "

That photo is nothing compared to the way I feel each inch between us right now. Cole is, thankfully, keeping his hands to himself now, but I am all too aware of how intently his focus is on me, like I can feel his gaze more than I can see it in the darkness.

"You don't have to worry about me," I say, hoping I sound believable. "I don't want to be in the tabloids any more than you want me there, and Cole and I were just talking when that photo was taken."

"Well…" Cole says, the word guttural and low.

I go for a smack again, but he moved farther than I thought, so I lose my balance and tumble forward. Right into his arms.

"How are things going with the job, anyway?" Darcy asks. Thankfully I held on to my phone.

But I can't answer my sister because I'm currently in a dip, Cole's eyes sparkling in the dim light from the corridor as he looks down at me. I can almost make out his expression, and the sight of it sparks a fire inside me. "Can…" I swallow and try again. "Can I call you back tomorrow? It's been a long day." And I need to address Cole's apparent lack of control.

"Yeah, of course." Darcy sounds disappointed. "I want to hear all about your first game. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet."

She doesn't know about Moxie.

The thought sobers me. I make my goodbyes and struggle upright again, tucking my phone away as I find Cole's face in the darkness. The corridor is quiet now, so it's probably safe for us to leave without being caught by any of the Thunder.

"We should go," I tell Cole.

"Yeah," he agrees.

We move slowly, checking around corners and searching the parking lot for teammates or photographers, but we make it onto the road without incident. Thank the heavens for that. I wasn't kidding when I told Darcy it has been a long day, and I didn't need to risk accidentally admitting my growing feelings for this man while scrambling to explain to someone why we're still here so long after the game.

"Okay," I say when we're well on our way. "We probably need to make some rules."

"I'm not always a fan of rules," Cole replies.

I glare at him. "Work with me, Lemon."

He chuckles. "Okay. Rules. Like what?"

"I am way too tired to think about that right now."

"You could come over for lunch tomorrow and we can hash it out. I'm meeting my friends later in the day, but we could…" He stops when I look at him again, his eyes narrowing. "You want to hang out with them again, don't you?"

I bite my lip. "I didn't say that."

"Trust me. You did. You say a lot with your eyes."

The fact that he can already read my expressions has me squealing internally. This man is dangerous.

"In my defense," I say, "you are friends with literal movie stars and one of my favorite musicians. And they love me. You know they do."

"Unfortunately," he grumbles. "Fine. You can come to my place for lunch, and then you can join me at Derek's. As long as you promise to stop looking at me like that."

Though I'm doing my best to keep my focus on the road, I can't help but grin at him. "Like what?"

"Like you want me to do what I almost did in the dark." He may be grumbling, but everything about his expression is telling me he wants the same thing.

I turn up the AC and lock both hands around the steering wheel. "How did this happen?" I ask.

"What? "

I move my hand through the space between us, returning it to the steering wheel before it gets any ideas. "This. You and me. You hated me just a few days ago."

"I didn't hate you. I was wary. And we've had this conversation before."

"Not like this." Against my will, my hand moves to the console between us.

Cole looks at it for only a second before he reaches over and tucks his fingers between mine. "You're right," he murmurs. "This is different. And I don't know how it happened. I didn't think I could…"

He trails off, leaving a thick silence between us.

I focus on the way his thumb brushes along mine, how his hand feels so natural. I'm far too comfortable with our current situation, so I find the best way to break the building tension. "Did you love Sage?"

His eyes flit over to me for only a second before returning to the road ahead. "Yeah. I wanted to marry her."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't want her to get hurt." There's more to his answer—I can practically feel it—so I keep quiet until he adds, "And maybe we weren't as good together as I thought."

A lot of articles from a couple of years ago called them "The Perfect Pair," like they had been designed for each other. Was that the glamorization of the media because she was beautiful and mature and elegant? Every picture I saw of the two of them made them both look so majestic. Cole was always in some sort of suit or his football uniform, and Sage always wore a sparkling dress or a girlboss pantsuit. I doubt she ever wore sweats or a tank top with a unicorn on it.

It's weird, though. I can't picture Cole living in the spotlight like the articles all said he used to. Yeah, he was a celebrated quarterback who made bank because of his skills, but this man next to me is something different. He's understated and down to earth. Humble and caring .

We reach his house long before I'm ready to say goodnight to him, but it's for the best that we get at least a few hours apart. Something changed when I held him during the game, and I don't know if we can go backward.

"Tomorrow?" Cole asks, turning his head to give me a small smile.

My smile is much wider, but I doubt it does to him what his smile does to me. I doubt my smile feels like a bolt of lightning straight to the chest. "Tomorrow," I agree. "I'll be thinking about you all night." The blood drains from my face. "Wait! I mean I'll be thinking about rules because we very much need them and…" I drop my face into my hand. "Wow, that came out so wrong."

Cole's hand wraps around my wrist, pulling my hand free, and I turn to him just as he presses a warm kiss to my cheek. "I'll be thinking about you too," he says and slips out of the car to head inside.

Yeah, we're in trouble.