Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

Quick reaction times had never been Robbie's strong suit, but he'd never regretted it more than when he stood in the hall outside the family meeting room, watching Toby march away from him, frozen and unable to think.

"What's gotten into him?" Keith asked, shifting to stand by Robbie's side and to glance down the hall at Toby's retreating back. The gesture felt like Keith was making some sort of physical statement of togetherness with Robbie.

Robbie still couldn't think. His heart pounded too hard, and his brain was scattered with everything that had collapsed around him. The family was under attack. Duckworth was trying to force them to sell everything. But that almost paled in comparison to the crushing sense of loss he felt over things between him and Toby breaking.

Except they hadn't broken yet.

"Babe, you look really upset," Keith said, resting a hand on Robbie's arm and slipping even closer to him once Toby was out of sight. "Did that little punk say something to upset you?"

That was what did it.

With a sharp intake of breath, Robbie snapped out of the stupor of shock and twisted to face Keith.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't touch me," he said, yanking his arm away from his ex. How he had ever wanted to be with someone who was so superior and smarmy was beyond him.

Keith huffed a breath, then took a small step back. "I don't understand," he said. "What's going on here? I thought we were getting close again." He stepped towards Robbie, running his fingers down Robbie's arm. "I thought we were getting back together."

Robbie's eyes went wide with indignation. "I thought I just told you not to touch me," he said.

Keith pulled his hand away, his expression changing from smooth and clever to shocked so fast Robbie wouldn't have been surprised if his face cracked off entirely, exposing the man Keith actually was.

"At what point did I give you the impression that I wanted to get back together with you?" Robbie said, crossing his arms defensively. "You dumped me because you thought I wasn't interesting enough, because I wanted a family and prized my teaching over making a splashy name for myself in the art community."

Something clicked in Robbie's head, like a bell ringing true and clear.

Keith's mouth opened, but it took him a few seconds to work his words out. "I thought that's what you wanted," he said. "I know you weren't in favor of us splitting, and as soon as I realized I made a mistake?—"

"As soon as you heard I would be on television, you mean," Robbie said. It was all so obvious now. He couldn't believe he'd been fool enough to think about getting back together with Keith for a moment.

"Babe, it's not just about some television show," Keith said, trying to smile and put on the charm again.

"No," Robbie stopped him, shaking his head. "I'm stopping this right here, right now. We're not getting back together, Keith. Now or ever. You made me feel like the things I wanted were silly and unworthy when you left me the way you did. You made me feel unworthy. But I'm not."

Robbie uncrossed his arms and stood straighter, feeling certain about himself for the first time in a long time. It was something he'd never have felt without Toby's friendship and the care and interest he'd shown, even before they'd had sex.

"To tell you the truth, I should have ended things between us years ago," he went on. "Only now am I seeing that you cut down my self-esteem every day in a hundred tiny ways. You wanted me to feel like shit so I would look to you to feel better."

"What? No," Keith laughed, though there was an edge of uneasiness in the sound. "Come on, Robbie. You're being ridiculous. You're not the star of some adolescent drama."

"See?" Robbie said, indignation lashing him. "You're doing it right now."

"I—"

"You know what?" Robbie shifted his stance. "You can say or think whatever you'd like about me. I don't care anymore. We're through. We've been through for a long time. But more than that, I'm done with wondering what might have been. That's all it was, really. Wondering what might have been. Thank you for freeing me from the idea that we could have worked things out if I'd done something different. I've moved on now, and I suggest you do the same."

No words had ever felt more satisfying to say. Robbie was proud of himself for seeing the truth at last and having the guts to stand up for it.

But now he had other concerns. Toby had the wrong end of the stick, and if he didn't find him and sort things immediately, there was no telling how the break between them might fester.

He started to walk away, but before he'd gone three steps, Rhys called from the meeting room doorway, "Robbie!"

Robbie stopped and turned back. One look at Rhys's face reminded him of the family disaster going on at the same time as his romantic one.

"Dad needs you."

That was all Rhys had to say to get Robbie to turn around and head back into the meeting room, completely ignoring Keith as he stood there, stunned, to deal with the other problem looming over him.

"Nice job, by the way," Rhys said in an undertone as the two of them headed to the other side of the table, where the family was deep in discussion. "I never liked that snob anyhow."

Robbie sent a wide-eyed look of surprise to his brother, but there wasn't time to dissect his relationships.

"There has to be some way to talk to the bank to determine why they feel they have the legal right to call the loan in," Nate was saying in a calm, steady voice. Nate always had been the calm one, even after Raina's accident, when the rest of the family was reeling. "For all we know, it could just be a bluff on Duckworth's part to scare us."

"That has to be what it is," Rafe's voice sounded on the other end of his call. "I can't do much from over here, but I have a few contacts at the bank, so I'll check."

Robbie had completely forgotten that Rafe had dated a banker a few years back, which was part of the reason the family had gone with Westfield Bank.

"I'll come back at once and meet with the historical trusts in person," Mum said, back on Dad's phone instead of Geoffrey Wright. "Diana over at the Ancient House Association needs to look me in the eyes and tell me she's pulling their funding."

"It sounds like we have a plan," Dad said, though Robbie could tell he didn't feel certain or secure about it. "And there's the deal with Silver Productions that Toby has set up for us."

Everyone turned to Robbie.

Robbie blew out a breath and shoved a hand through his hair. It came away with a bit of clay on it. He must have gotten wet clay in his hair when he and Toby were fooling around at the pottery wheel.

Just thinking about that send a bolt of longing through Robbie's gut. But rather than making him feel hopeless, like it might have a few weeks before, that visceral need for Toby filled him with the fire to get things sorted.

"Toby's a bit upset at the moment," he said, tapping the back of the chair he stood behind with one, agitated hand. "But I agree that he definitely needs to be a part of this discussion."

"Part of it?" Dad said incredulously, his eyes alight with passion and determination of a sort Robbie hadn't seen in him in years. "He needs to be at the center of this. He's the one who negotiated things with Silver Productions to get the ball rolling. I want him here, working with us, to get that deal set up the rest of the way, and to find more."

"Do you think he'd come work for us?" Rebecca asked. "Since that other place just sacked him?

"What do you think?" Dad asked Robbie.

It was a brilliant idea. The best anyone in the room had come up with so far. Toby had already spent the last two weeks more or less as an employee of Hawthorne House. Robbie had suspected all along that he'd gone above and beyond the call of duty to help the family. It seemed like a natural next step to bring him on as an employee.

"I'll ask him," he said, taking a step back from the table. "But I have to go after him first."

"Go after him?" Ryan asked from one of the phones on the table. "Did he leave?"

"It's too long a story to tell now," Robbie sighed, taking another step back. "If I'm not back in time for my morning class, can someone either cancel it or let the kids know I won't make it today?"

"We'll do that," Rebecca said as Robbie turned to go.

Too much time had passed already, but he raced through the house anyhow, hoping he could catch Toby before he got in his car and left.

He almost made it. As he launched himself out the side door that the family used and into the private parking lot, Toby had just turned his car around and started down the drive. Robbie waved, but Toby didn't stop.

With a curse, Robbie dashed back into the house and up to his flat to fetch his car keys. It felt like a painful waste of time. Every second that ticked by was another second of Toby misunderstanding the situation between them.

The only positive in the moment was that Robbie was reasonably certain Toby would just go home. He wasn't likely to head into London for any sort of confrontation with Johnson, Johnson, and Inez. A few times along the way, Robbie thought he saw Toby's car ahead of him on the road, but traffic kept him from truly catching up or being certain.

Robbie was out of breath and anxious by the time he pulled onto the road where Toby and his family lived. Toby's car was parked like it had been there for ages, but when Robbie parked his own car and headed to the front door, he heard the distinct sound of the engine clicking as the metal cooled, proving Toby had just arrived.

"Toby?" he called out while knocking on the door, desperate to be let in.

He heard movement and conversation on the other side of the door, along with a baby crying. That went on for a worrying amount of time, which told Robbie that Toby was trying to avoid him.

It was Toby's mother who finally answered the door. "Oh, hello, Robbie," she said with a nervous flutter, glancing over her shoulder into the house. "Toby's a bit out of sorts at the moment and doesn't want to talk to you."

"I appreciate that, Mrs. Tillman," Robbie said, debating how horrifically rude it would be to push past the woman into the house, "but Toby misunderstands the situation, and I don't want that misunderstanding to go on for a second longer." He raised his voice in the hope that Toby was nearby and would hear him.

Sure enough, Toby called back, "I'm not misunderstanding anything."

A moment later, his mum stepped aside, and Toby took her place, scowling.

"I'm not together with Keith," Robbie said, searching frantically for the magic words that would make everything better. "I'd forgotten I said I would have lunch with him today. He texted me about it days ago, but too much has been going on, so I forgot to cancel."

Toby snorted a laugh. "Right. You just happened to forget that the love of your life wanted to wine you and dine you and get back together with you. Was that before or after you—" He stopped himself abruptly, glancing back over his shoulder to where his mum and Gerry were watching.

"It's not like that at all," Robbie said as Toby stepped out onto the front steps, shutting the door behind him. "Keith is a wanker. I definitely see that now. He's gone."

Toby glared at him like he didn't quite believe it. "Forgive me if I don't believe you when you have a moony look in your eyes for him one moment, then say he's history the next."

"Moony look?" Robbie shook his head, confused.

"That's what it was, wasn't it? The way you looked at him when he slithered up the hall, ready to take you out for a night on the town?"

Robbie frowned. Toby was angry to the point of hyperbole. It was also strangely sexy. Robbie definitely didn't consider himself the sort who was turned on by a partner's jealousy, but the fire in Toby's eyes and the memory of what they could do with that sort of energy only made Robbie want him more.

"We need to stop this," he said, pinching his eyes closed for a moment. When he opened them, he stared straight at Toby and said, "We're both seriously overly emotional right now. We're both trying to wade through a sea of baggage and shit to get to each other, but if we would both put our feet down for a second, we'd realize the water is only two feet deep."

Toby blinked and reeled back a bit. "That's a metaphor and a half."

"Well, it's true," Robbie huffed.

He shifted his weight and stance to face the problem with more strength.

"Look," he said. "The Hawthorne family is under attack from Willoughby Entertainment and Charles Duckworth. We've no idea why, but everyone is back at the house, sitting at the table in the meeting room, discussing strategy and what to do about things. Mum is coming home from Africa immediately to deal with the people she knows, and Rafe thinks he knows someone at the bank. We're all rallying, but we need you there to rally with us."

"I'm not a member of your family," Toby said, much calmer, but crossing his arms tightly.

"For the moment, you are," Robbie told him firmly. "You're the one spearheading the deal with Silver Productions, and we want you to continue with that. Dad wants to hire you to work for Hawthorne House."

That news came as enough of a surprise to Toby that he dropped his arms and lost the ferocious snarl he was barely hiding.

"Your dad wants to hire me?" he asked.

"Yes," Robbie said, pulse pounding harder with the crack he'd found in Toby's armor. "We all want you there. Me more than anyone."

Toby narrowed his eyes again. "What about Keith."

"Forget about sodding Keith!" Robbie shouted, even though it startled a neighbor walking past with her dog. "Forget about Keith," he repeated in a quieter voice, moving so that Toby's car blocked them from passersby a bit better. "Things are definitely over with him and should have been long before they were. If you saw anything in me that made you think I still wanted him, you were wrong. I was stunned by everything going on, and by the realization of my own feelings about him, and about you."

Toby said nothing, but his expression changed from anger to suspicion.

"Fuck it, I love you, Toby," Robbie said, cringing at himself as he did. "Yes, it's far too early for me to say anything like that, and I'm probably just reacting off of the emotion of everything else going on, but yes, I have feelings for you. You're the kindest, most aggravatingly thoughtful, most charmingly aggressive man I've ever known. Half the time I want to slap you, but the rest of the time I just want to grab your face and kiss you to shut you up. You're the one I want to be with, not Keith."

Toby's expression shot through a dozen emotions as Robbie poured his soul out, from shock to frustration, and finally to amusement.

"Fuck, was I that good last night?" he asked, his smile growing by the second and making his eyes glow. "I fucked you into falling in love with me?"

Robbie sighed and dropped his shoulders, a headache beginning to form behind his eyes. "I knew it was a silly thing to say. We've only known each other a little more than two weeks, and we hated each other up until days ago."

"No, no," Toby said, beaming brighter still. "I'm flattered. I've never had anyone burst out with a confession of love in the middle of a Thursday afternoon."

"Alright," Robbie said, sending him a flat look. "Your point is taken. I'm a fool, and yes, I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be embarrassed," Toby went on, laughing. "There's nothing embarrassing about dramatic declarations of love."

"Stop laughing at me," Robbie said, beginning to shrink in on himself with shame. "I was overcome. It's a stressful day. I'm trying to save my family and stop things between us from falling apart for stupid reasons. I can't be held accountable if?—"

Toby grabbed his face before he could finish and stepped in to slant his mouth over Robbie's. Robbie was too stunned at first to know what to do, but the intensity of Toby's kiss was overwhelming, and within seconds everything else was forgotten but how good it felt to be in Toby's arms again and to taste his mouth. Everything else could melt away, and Robbie would still be happy.

Toby ended their kiss, gazed into Robbie's eyes, then changed his mind and went back for a second kiss. That one was quicker and full of energy and excitement. Robbie felt himself pulled under by the joy of it once again.

"Alright," Toby said once he was finished the second time, taking a step back, but reaching for Robbie's hand with a smile. "I accept."

"You accept what?" Robbie asked, feeling like his head was spinning in circles.

"I accept your plea for me to come back and help the family. I accept your dad wanting to hire me to work for Hawthorne House. And I accept your undying, passionate love for me," he said with an impish grin.

Robbie rolled his eyes, face blazing with heat.

"Now come on," Toby said, tugging him towards the car. "We've got a family to save."