Chapter 5

Iwas in love with this woman. I didn't know much but I knew that.

I also knew that she could break my heart.

"Penny for your thoughts," Layna said as she lazily traced circles over my chest.

She didn't want to know what I was really thinking. Or maybe she did. But this was technically our first date. I probably should play it cool a little longer.

"I have a record," I blurted.

Her movements froze. I certainly hadn't planned to open up about that. It had bugged me all night—when we weren't making love or eating pizza, anyway.

"When I was a teenager, I went through a phase." I sighed. "I'm not proud of it. I was hanging out with a bad crowd. Got into some vandalism, burglary—that sort of thing."

The truth was, I hadn't done anything myself. But I'd been with my friend, Nick, and hadn't done a damn thing to stop him and his friends.

"I was eighteen, so technically an adult," I said. "The guys I was with when we committed the crime weren't. I told the judge I was thinking about joining the military. He made a deal with me. I go forward with those plans, and he'd waive my punishment."

She rose up to look down at me. We were in Grayson's bed, which was Layna's bed for the week. The only light in the room was the moonlight streaming through the window.

"You don't think I judge you for that, do you?" she asked.

I stared back at her. "It isn't that. I just want you to hear it from me. People talk, you know? Last night, I was sure you'd call the police on me, and they'd look up my record."

She gave me a teasing smile. "You mean when you were watching me through the window, waiting for me to take my clothes off?"

"Yeah, about that..."

I took a deep breath. Should I tell her? Yes, I definitely should. Besides, knowing what I knew about her now, she might not be all that upset about it.

"I happened to be brushing my teeth and looking out the window when you entered the bathroom," I began.

She nodded. "I know. It just freaked me out at first. I thought maybe you were deliberately peeping on me."

"You were early that night," I said.

Her smile fell. In that one second, I considered backtracking. But no, I had to be honest with her. We couldn't start this relationship on a lie.

"It'd been a long time between women," I continued. "Last Saturday night, I saw you enter the bathroom and turn off the lights. My plan was to exit my bathroom, but something stopped me. You were fully clothed at the time, but I couldn't take my eyes off you. And then you took your clothes off and stood at the mirror, putting on creams and stuff. I couldn't look away."

"You watched me?"

I couldn't read her expression now. She didn't look angry. That was a good thing, right?

"That wasn't the end of it," I said. "I came back the next night to see if you were there. I waited and, sure enough, a few minutes later, you showed up. I watched in the dark. It's not something I'm proud of. It's definitely not something I'd normally do. It was you. From the second I saw you, I couldn't take my eyes off you."

"Is that part of your past?" she asked. "Were you peeping in windows back then?"

I shook my head. "I'd never done anything like that in my life. Never would again unless it was you."

Layna sat up and my heart dropped. Yeah, I'd definitely blown it—not by being honest but by being a complete creep in the first place. It was not who I was deep inside.

"From the first time I saw you, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Grayson told me who you were, and I looked you up online. I found your social media and looked through your posts. I'm not proud of it, but it's something I would have done after I met you."

"Cyberstalking," she said quietly. "We've all done that. You look up the person you're interested in just to see what you can find out. It's different, though, when you're watching someone through a window."

I wanted to sit up, to reassure her. But I stayed in place, sensing she needed some space. If I got too close, she might climb out of this bed, put her clothes on, and tell me to get out. She'd have every right to do so.

But I had to say something. This might be my only chance to fix this.

"I can't explain it," I said. "From the time I saw you, I was drawn like a magnet. It was pulling me in. I know it's no excuse for what I did, but I think you feel it too. There's just something here that's…different."

Layna didn't say anything. Didn't move. Didn't look back over her shoulder. She just continued to sit, unmoving.

A long silence passed, during which I desperately hoped she would suddenly turn and let me know everything was okay. When that didn't happen, I knew better than to push. I didn't want the answer.

Finally, when she said nothing, I climbed from the bed and headed toward the door. I should stop and say something, but I was naked. There was something about apologizing while being buck naked. I couldn't do it.

Instead, I went straight to the kitchen and snatched up my clothes, put them on, and glanced toward the bedroom before leaving. Layna didn't come out as I'd hoped. I had no choice but to walk out.

Once I was back in my cabin, I regretted walking out, but I had to give her some time and space. Then I'd find a way to win her back. I had to. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life knowing I'd blown the best thing that had ever happened to me.