Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Phoebe undressed slowly and got into bed, leaving the lamp on beside her. She still hadn’t heard back from George, which was most unusual, and she needed to know whether to book Max a ticket to England or not. She grabbed her phone and typed fast.

George. I need a decision from you regarding my return for the wedding. Please get back to me ASAP. Thanks x.

She hit SEND and waited to see if the message was delivered, or if George was going to respond, and then remembered the time difference and set the phone down. He’d see it when he got up and hopefully, he would get back to her soon.

She lay back against the pillows, appreciating the quiet now that she was safely inside, and wondered what Max was doing. She’d left him in the kitchen talking to Luke. Was he asking for permission to build his house next to Noah’s as Jen had suggested? Phoebe tried to imagine a life on the ranch, working the cattle surrounded by friends and family who cared about you.

But Max hadn’t suggested she share that dream with him. In fact, he’d changed the subject when she’d referred to it even obliquely. It seemed clear that neither of them wanted to talk about what might happen after the visit to England. It was all well and good living in the moment and enjoying each other’s company, but at some point, they needed to have a serious discussion. One she was dreading, because the thought that he’d just wave goodbye and never think of her again was excruciating.

Max came in and halted at the door.

“I thought you’d be asleep.”

“Would you rather I was? I can pretend if you like,” Phoebe said a tad sharply. “We’re supposed to be friends. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to.”

Max raised his eyebrows. “What’s up, sweetheart?”

“Me, obviously, when I was supposed to be asleep.”

Phoebe was aware she sounded a little snippy, but she’d had an unexpectedly emotional day.

Max sat on the bed and looked at her. “You seem upset.”

“Why on earth would I be upset? It’s not as if you just told everyone I live in a bloody castle and now they all think I’m a snob.”

She wasn’t sure where that had come from, but it would do.

“I . . . didn’t realize it was a secret. I’m sorry.” He looked down at the floor. “I guess I was just surprised, and I thought it was cool, so I blurted it out like an idiot. I told you I had a big mouth.”

Phoebe pressed her lips together.

“For the record,” Max said in a gentle tone, “I don’t think anyone here thinks less or more of you for where you were brought up.”

“So, you’re implying that the only snob here is me.”

He exhaled. “Phoebe . . . all I’m trying to say is that stuff is seen differently in the US than from where you’re from.”

“It’s fine. I just hate having to . . . explain everything.”

“Are you trying to pick a fight with me?” Max asked cautiously. “Because if I’ve screwed anything else up, I’d rather you just told me to my face.”

Phoebe had never been good at arguing, which was why she always ended up on the losing side of most of them. She shook her head.

“I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I don’t really know what I’m cross about and, you’re right. It’s not fair to take it out on you.”

Max studied her carefully and then reached for her hand.

“Do you want to talk it out?”

“I don’t expect you to listen to my silly problems, Max.” Phoebe hated the catch in her voice as she responded to his kindness. “And it’s just family stuff that I don’t understand myself or know how to unravel.”

“Then how about you try things the Max way, and just let me hold you so you can cry it out, fight me, or kiss me?”

She stared at him. “I believe that’s the Max way of avoiding the tough questions, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.” He smiled. “But it works.”

“You are incorrigible.”

“I’m a ‘live in the moment’ kind of guy, Feebs. I don’t think it’s healthy to worry about things you can’t change or get your panties in a wad about the future. A lot of people get so hung up on those things that they forget the whole appreciating being alive part.”

“But don’t those things impact who you are today?” Phoebe asked.

“Sure, they do, but I deal with problems if they pop up, and don’t worry about them if they don’t.”

Phoebe stared at him. Was he giving her a clear warning not to bring up their future? “I can’t imagine living my life like that.”

“That’s because you belong to a family that’s tied to the past big-time.”

She looked down at their joined hands and took a quick breath. “Sometimes I don’t think they like me very much.”

He didn’t say anything, but she saw the sympathy in his eyes.

“For example, for the birthday party in those pictures last year I had to organize the party, bake the cake, make the sandwiches, remind everyone to turn up and then clear it all away when they all had more important things to get on with. They barely spent two hours with me, and most of that time was them ‘joking’ about how I’d never had a real job, had an imaginary husband, and that I’d basically better resign myself to being Grandmother’s companion when she needed me. Ha, bloody ha.”

“That sucks,” Max said. “You deserve better.”

“But they’re my family and they are supposed to know me best, so am I that useless a person?” She swallowed hard. “Is supporting everyone else the only thing I’m good at?”

“Sweetheart . . .”

She threw herself toward Max and he gathered her into his arms, his hand stroking her hair as she pressed against him.

“Your family are missing out if they don’t see what an amazing woman you are, Feebs,” he said quietly in her ear. “You’re kind, you’re funny as hell, you’re a really good person, and I feel privileged to have gotten to know you even a little bit.”

She slowly raised her head and looked into his eyes.

“Hey.” He stroked a tear from her cheek. “Can’t have my best girl crying.”

She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him hard. It took him less than a second to respond, his fingers caressing her scalp, his arm tightening around her hips. Ten minutes later they were both breathing hard, and Max’s hand was inside her top.

Phoebe sat up and pulled her nightie over her head, leaving her in just her socks, which she wiggled out of.

“Okay.” Max leaned back against the headboard, a half smile on his lips. “We’re getting naked now?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Well, I am.”

“I’m not stopping you, sweet pea.”

She held his gaze and climbed back onto his lap. The feeling of his cotton T-shirt and jeans against her bare skin was surprisingly erotic. His breath hitched as she kissed him again. After a moment, she drew back and frowned at him.

“Put your hands on me.”

“You sure about this?” he asked. “Because if I start kissing you, I’m not going to stop until I’m buried deep inside you making you scream, and I don’t want you regretting that—ever.”

“Why would I regret it?” Phoebe asked.

“Because you’ve got a big mad on about your family and I want you to do this for the right reasons, not to get back at them.”

The silence after he spoke seemed to go on forever. Phoebe bit her lip. “It’s okay, Max. You can just say it.”

“Say what?” His brow creased.

“That you’ve changed your mind about it all.”

“I’ve changed my mind? You’re the one sitting naked on my lap.”

Phoebe scrambled off and grabbed the sheet to cover herself. “About me, about everything. I mean I should’ve realized that you saying you wanted to take it slow meant you were having second thoughts, and who could blame you? It’s not your job to educate me. I’m sorry I forced you into this embarrassing corner.”

She set her feet on the floor and looked around for her nightie, which had ended up draped over the vanity.

“Nope, stop right there.” Max’s voice held a note of steel she rarely heard directed at her. “We are not going to do this. We’re going to talk it out like adults.”

“I am not doing that naked,” Phoebe said.

“Fine, get your clothes on and we’ll take it from there.”

* * *

Max remade the bed and sat on the patchwork quilt while Phoebe put on her nightwear and briefly disappeared to the bathroom. When she came back, he patted the space beside him.

“Sit down.”

She regarded him warily; her eyes were puffy as if she’d had a quick cry in the bathroom. She did as he asked and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry—”

“Let’s consider the apologies a given, okay, and try and get to the bottom of why you’re yelling at me when you’re naked because I’m not sure I understand your reasoning.”

She looked down at her lap. Max waited a moment, but she didn’t speak.

“I don’t want to make it all about me, but it feels like you’re mixed up about your family and you’re taking it out on the wrong person. I gotta say, Feebs, that doesn’t feel good on my side.”

She finally looked over at him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, Max. I know you were just trying to help me sort things out, and throwing myself at you in the middle of the conversation probably wasn’t helpful.”

“Okay, so we got our wires crossed. Now, how can we untangle them?”

She took a shaky breath. “I suppose I should stop assuming you feel the same way about me as my family do?”

“I already told you that, sweet pea.” He met her gaze. “And I meant every word.”

“I think I panicked,” Phoebe said slowly.

“Yeah?”

“I thought I could forget about them by losing myself in you, and then you called me out on it, and I assumed you were rejecting me, too, so I said all those horrible things to make you feel as bad as I did.”

“I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page,” Max said simply. “I don’t want either of us regretting anything we choose to do together.”

“I don’t regret a moment I’ve spent with you, Max.”

He could only manage to nod, held in thrall by the sincerity in her brown eyes.

“Then will you forgive me for the things I said?” Phoebe asked.

He shrugged. “What things?”

She took a quick breath. “That’s lovely but I don’t want you to feel obliged to make love to me.”

“Feebs, when have I ever looked like I don’t want to get into your pants?”

“You . . . slowed everything down and then stopped.” She worried at her lip.

For once in his life, Max took his time forming his answer because he really wanted to get this one right.

“I guess, I scared myself.” Even admitting that made him want to run into the forest and never come back.

“About what?”

“How much I wanted you.” He held her gaze. “I’m not . . . usually that kind of guy.”

Her slow smile was like a sunbeam. “Do you remember telling me that you were the right man for me?”

“Yeah, because it’s the truth.”

“Then maybe I’m the right woman for you.” She paused. “At this particular moment and with this particular set of needs that you alone can solve.”

“That’s a lot of add-ons, Feebs.”

Her gaze was clear. “Because I know you don’t like to be caged in and I don’t ever want you to feel like that.”

A jolt of what should have been alarm shot through him. The weird thing was that for the first time in his life he didn’t feel caged, and he didn’t know what to do with that feeling. He reminded himself to concentrate on the problem in front of him and let the future take care of itself. Phoebe obviously didn’t want to talk about their next steps and he was just fine with that.

“Maybe we’re both scared,” Max said.

Phoebe nodded.

“And maybe that’s okay.” He smiled at her and gently cupped her chin. “Kiss and make up?”

She leaned into his caress. “Yes, please.”

They both moved at the same time but Max won, gathered her in his arms, and kissed her like he meant it.

After a long while, she eased back and smiled at him.

“Can we go to bed and just sleep? I’m an emotional wreck.”

“Absolutely.” He drew back the covers. “Why don’t you get started on that while I use the bathroom?”

“I won’t try and stay awake this time, Max.” She got between the sheets and yawned. “I’m absolutely knackered.”

He thought about asking what that meant, but her eyes were already closing. He knew from experience that she went out like a light when she was tired. His smile disappeared as he closed the door and headed for the bathroom. Had he gotten things right with her, and why did it matter so much that he did?

She wasn’t putting any pressure on him, which was his preferred way of handling relationships, and they were trying to be honest with each other, that was probably a first for him. He realized he was too restless to sleep and went into the kitchen to make himself something to drink.

To his surprise, Sally was there stirring something on the stove. She looked up as he came in and held up the pan.

“Want to try some spiced chai?”

“Sure.”

He sat down at the table and resisted the urge to drum his fingers on the surface. Sally came to join him, and they sat together sipping their drinks in companiable silence. Her hair was darker than Luke’s and streaked with grey, but she had the same blue eyes and easy smile. They’d gotten along well from the first day they’d met. Sally just seemed to accept him for what he was, and she wasn’t constantly on his back like his buddies. She was the closest thing to a mother he’d had since his parents exited his life.

“It’s good,” Max said. “For tea.”

“It helps me sleep.” Sally inhaled the steam. “I think it’s the spices. I notice you’ve been sleeping better since Phoebe got here.”

“Yeah, I have.” Max considered that. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“She seems to have a good effect on you, generally.”

“That’s because she’s awesome.”

“So, what got you pacing the halls tonight?” Sally asked in her forthright way.

Belatedly, Max remembered she’d been the community physician for thirty years and had no problem being direct.

She poked his sleeve. “If you want to talk about anything, Max, I’m the soul of discretion. I know secrets about everyone in this valley that would shock you and I’ve never shared any of them.”

“Good thing I never pursued that career because I’m indiscreet as hell.” Max drank more of his chai, appreciating the subtle aromas. “You should write a book.”

“Maybe, when I fully retire.” She winked at him, reminding him of Luke. “It would have to be written anonymously, or I’d get sued.”

Max wrapped his hands around his mug and considered what to say. “Phoebe and I had a bit of a misunderstanding.”

Sally shrugged. “Happens in all relationships. It’s how you deal with it that makes the difference.”

“I think we sorted it out.”

“You don’t sound like you believe that sweetie.”

He shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m not good at this relationship stuff.”

“Gosh, Max, that’s totally surprising. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never had a proper girlfriend.”

“I was married, remember?”

“Even before that.” Sally gave him an amused look. “You’ve always been a loner.”

“A loser,” Max corrected her.

“Not at all.”

“Hey, I’m the life and soul of the party, everyone knows that.”

She patted his hand. “Don’t be silly, Max. You do that to keep everyone from getting to know the real you. What you’re finding out now when you’re sharing a bed with Phoebe, is that the rules have changed, and when you want to be honest with her you don’t know how, and that scares you.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I’m really trying, Sally, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get the hang of all this sharing and caring stuff you Nilsens are so good at.”

“The fact that you’re willing to try says a lot about how you feel about this girl.” Sally paused. “She’s good for you.”

“It’s not her job to be good for me. I’ve got to be good enough for her,” Max stated.

Sally sat back and grinned at him.

“What?”

She rose to her feet and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “I think you’ve got this, Max. Now, why don’t you go back to bed and get some sleep?”

Max crept into the bedroom and took off his clothes, listening to Phoebe’s even breathing and the stillness of the house surrounding him. He got into bed and Phoebe turned toward him, her arm sliding behind his neck and her body pressed against his. Tentatively, he put his hand on her hip, and she murmured his name, her fingertips caressing the short hair at the nape of his neck. It felt right being with her. He dropped his face into the hollow of her shoulder and kissed her skin, his body hardening as she moved against him.

“Phoebe,” he murmured against her throat. “Are you awake?”

“I might be,” she whispered. “If it would be helpful.”

He rolled her onto her back and looked down into her whisky brown eyes. For some reason he didn’t want to put on a light and destroy the sense of closeness.

“Do you want me?”

She nodded, her gaze clear. “I do.”

“Just for me?”

“Absolutely.” She kissed him gently on the lips. “And for myself.”

He took his time kissing every inch of her with a reverence that soon had her pulling his hair and demanding more. When he palmed her between the legs, she was already wet, he slipped two fingers inside her to bring her to her first climax. She wasn’t being passive; her hands were moving over him and at one point she wrapped her fingers around his dick and almost made him come himself.

He slowed down and experienced the joy of Phoebe, her taste, the sounds she made when he touched her, and the way her body writhed on the sheets beneath his. Her fingernails bit into his scalp as he used his mouth on her clit, and she screamed into her pillow.

“You want all of me?” he asked as he slicked a hand over his hard cock. “Because I’m ready if you are.”

She smiled at him. “Yes, please.”

“So polite.” He opened the bedside drawer and took out a condom. “Want to put this on me?”

“I’d rather you did it in case I made a mistake in the dark,” Phoebe said. “But I’ll watch and take notes for next time.”

He eased back and covered his cock, breathing out slowly through his nose as his need to be inside her grew as desperate as his dick.

“Max . . .”

He looked down at Phoebe and she smiled, opened her arms, and that was all he needed. She drew him down toward her. In one easy motion, he angled his hips and pushed inside her.

“Oh.”

He immediately went still. “You okay?”

“That’s . . .” She wiggled a bit and put her hand on his ass. “Different.”

“Different good or bad?”

“Interesting different.” Her fingers pressed against his buttock. “Is there more?”

Max glanced down at his barely sheathed cock. “Yeah.”

“I’d like more.”

“Good.” Max rocked his hips and gave her more until he was fully inside her, and she was coming around him so fast he barely managed to keep it together. “Jeezus.”

“Is that bad?” Phoebe gasped. “Because you feel wonderful.”

“Oh, it’s all good.” Max slid one hand under her ass and smiled into her eyes, “Hang in there, sweet pea. We’re only just getting started.”