Prologue

PROLOGUE

2014

Roe Finlay

I’d made it this far without making a sound, and Cas was still asleep. I left him in his car seat on the coffee table in the living room, then carefully slipped out through the patio doors.

I should’ve known I’d find Jake and Colin out here.

It was a cute sight. Jake squatting down, Colin in front of him, as they—or Jake—planted something new in three big pots between the pool and the seating area.

Colin was using the gardening tools I’d given him for Christmas.

“I push it down?” he asked to make sure.

“That’s right—push the bulb down in the soil like this.” Daddy Jake demonstrated. “Now you try. Then we’ll send a picture to Nanny.”

I grinned faintly and headed toward them.

Jake glanced over, spotting me first. He looked a little surprised to see me, possibly because I’d been here just a couple hours ago.

“Did you forget somethin’ earlier?” he asked me.

Colin looked over too and waved. “We’re makin’ garlic! Right, Daddy?”

“We’re planting garlic, yes,” Jake confirmed.

“That’s so cool.” I squatted down next to them and ruffled Colin’s hair. He was looking more like Jake for every day that passed, it seemed. “I did forget something earlier, actually.” I scratched my nose. “I forgot that it’s Thursday, and I think we should head over to the food trucks.”

It’d been too long. About four months—and I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed that tradition to stay alive when everything else in my life had changed.

“Ohhh, I wanna go!” Colin exclaimed. “And you can sleep over! Like when you lived here also!”

Aw, damn. That sweet boy—he was struggling a bit with my moving out, at the same time as he was ecstatic the new changes had brought us an extra little one.

“Another time, kiddo,” I promised.

Jake was hesitant about the food trucks, which was all the more reason for us to go. He’d pulled back lately, and I hated it. I knew I couldn’t have it both ways, but goddammit. Did I really have to go home for dinner every fucking night? No. I didn’t. Jake, Colin, and I had our food-truck thing, and today, I wanted to include my own boy. We were the condor family, right?

“I thought those days were over.” Jake got dismissive about it, and I didn’t buy it for a second.

He missed our old routines as much as I did.

“You thought wrong,” I replied. “I’ve let Cas have his infant phase. He’s three months old—perfect time to get him used to the food-truck smells.”

Jake’s mouth twitched with mirth.

“Is Baby Cas here?” Colin asked curiously.

I smiled and nodded. “He’s asleep inside. We’re bringing him with us.”

“Yeah!” The boy got excited and shook his little butt.

Even Jake couldn’t resist that. He sighed and smiled. “All right, I guess we can order pizza another night.”

That’s the…spirit.

“Please rein in your exuberance,” I deadpanned.

He chuckled under his breath and gathered their tools in a basket. “I’m just doin’ what you talked about in Slovenia—managing my expectations.”

There was so much I wanted to say. Jake had been told all his life that he was bad at communicating and expressing how he felt, but I could read between the lines. I knew he missed us.

That was why getting married had been more difficult than it should’ve been, because Jake’s attachment to me fucked with my head. I’d wanted things that weren’t there. I’d wished for his love to run deeper. But, anyway… It still warmed my heart to know he missed me, and we were gonna do something about that now.

“We’re still a family, Jake.”

He flicked me a glance, then nodded once, maybe not believing me fully.

We’d get there. We had to. I needed a sliver of what we used to have—probably more than he did.

Twenty minutes later, we piled into Jake’s truck, and by some miracle, my son was still asleep.

Colin was fucking adorable. He whispered around Casper and treated him as if he were made of glass. “We gots to be careful,” he said, nodding to himself.

I faced forward again, more content than I had been in weeks.

Jake slowed down for a red light and absently drummed his fingers along the wheel. “By the way,” he said quietly, “Nikki’s pregnant.”

My eyebrows flew up. Holy shit, she moved faster than I did. I thought the guy she was into, Russell or whatever his name was, had gotten stuck in divorce limbo where the lawyers did all the fighting. Last I heard, he and Nikki hadn’t even gone out on a first date.

“Hot damn, I guess they went all in after Russell’s divorce.”

Jake furrowed his brow, before his expression cleared. “Oh—it’s not… They’re not dating. She doesn’t wanna start something until he’s done with the divorce, and he’s focusing on his kids.”

Then who—

“It’s mine,” he said.

Oh my God, no.

My stomach dropped and twisted painfully—old fucking habits and wishes died hard—and suddenly I was seeing Jake and Nikki getting back together. To raise their family. Colin and a new one on the way. How wonderful for them. I had noticed them getting closer last year.

“We got to talking when she went with us to Norfolk last fall,” he explained. “She admitted she wanted a sibling for Bear, and the more I thought about it…” He’d wanted the same. I could see it in his face now. He was happy.

Who could blame him? The happiest day of my life had been when Cas was born.

“Congratulations.” I tested a smile, and it sort of worked. “You sure didn’t have to try for long.”

He exhaled a laugh and made a turn. “Our chemistry’s so off, but I guess we got the job done.”

Chemistry off? “What do you mean?”

He shifted in his seat, and I detected some discomfort. “Well, you know… It ain’t like we’re gettin’ back together or anything. We love each other as friends, you know? We don’t wanna fuck with that, so it was a little awkward…”

Oh.

Oh.

“We got a couple laughs out of it, I guess,” he chuckled.

“And a baby,” I replied automatically.

So they were gonna do the co-parenting like they already were with Colin. As friends.

“And a baby.” He smiled and inclined his head. “I think I’m gonna start lookin’ at houses too. Colin needs his own space, and I wanna be able to have Nikki there throughout the pregnancy and when she needs me the most.”

Right. That made sense.

I swallowed my unease and tried to reason with myself. This was how it was supposed to be. I’d realized this months ago. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be married to Sandra now. I was destined to have a true love who was fucking straight, and I was hardly the first guy to go through that.

Selfishly, I was happy he and Nikki weren’t together, because I wasn’t sure I could cope seeing that every day. Not just because of how I felt about Jake but because I freaking adored Nikki. She’d become a great friend of mine too.

She and Haley were the honorary members of our condor family.

Still. Without wanting to change anything, because it’d brought me my son, the old days when it’d been just Jake and me—and Colin, of course—were often on my mind. But this was life. Nothing lasted forever, and we had to move on. Our house would officially be what we’d originally intended for it to be, our “home” office and podcast studio.

As long as Jake and I held on to certain things, like our food-truck tradition, I would be okay.

Thank fuck we had work too. A lot of work.