Chapter Twenty-Eight

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

NOW PLAYING: SWAY - So Below

When Nebula and I returned to the fire last night, Lex and Ridley immediately whisked Bea and me back to our bus to start the drive back to Starburgh. Apparently, the DAU had reached out to ask them for assistance with something today so we couldn’t stay at the beach any longer. They’ll be gone for at least the next three days but will hopefully return in time for the guys’ next show in DC.

Until then, we are apartment bound. Something I can’t complain about. We’d barely gotten to enjoy our new shared home before the tour started. While I love my mini-nest on the bus, it isn’t the same as my actual nest here. A bit of the restless tension I wasn’t aware I was holding faded after I slept in my safe space this morning.

Lying in the pile of soft blankets and pillows, I watch my fairy lights dance along the ceiling, blown gently by the small fan in the corner. Guilt pounds painfully with each beat of my heart, leaving me unable to focus long enough to accomplish anything else. I let things go too far with both Nexus and Nebula. I don’t regret either moment of intimacy, not really. I just feel bad for lying by hiding our Fated connection. And for the secrets I’m keeping about my birth identity.

I should have taken time at the beach yesterday to talk to Lex. Then I could have told Pack Graves everything before our physical connection intensified. I let myself get so wrapped up in enjoying a day of fun I lost sight of what should have been more important: telling them the truth.

“Okay, settle down,” I tell myself when I start to spiral. “You only have today and tomorrow off, then we head back out for their next show. You can talk to Lex and tell them after the show in DC. Or Philadelphia the day after if you don’t see Lex before then.”

A knock at my door startles me from my sinking thoughts. Pulling it open I see Bea on the other side with a concerned look on her face. “Okay! I’m calling for a night out! You are losing your mind being away from those hunks you’ve found yourself twisted up over, so we’re going to distract you for the night by hitting the club!”

“Um, Bea,” I hedge with a frown. “We can’t go out while Lex and Ridley are busy with whatever the DAU assigned them to do.”

“That would be true if Foster and Shepherd weren’t going with us!” My best friend beams, but her smile sinks when I’m not as excited about a night on the town as she is.

“Please, Oms. We’ve both been so busy with work and men,” she says with sadness in her tone, making me feel even shittier. We haven’t had nearly as much time for just us girls since before we left for the tour. I know something has been building between her and our bodyguards, and Shiloh the exec from the record label, but I’ve been so caught up in worry, my career, and Pack Graves I haven’t taken the time to ask her about any of it.

“Fine.” I quickly cave. While I’m not looking forward to the crowds at the local clubs, I do owe her a night out with just us. Plus Foster and Shepherd apparently. Though Shepherd will probably spend the whole night in protective mode hovering around us.

Half an hour later I stand in the doorway to our shared bathroom. Candy Courage’s most recent album blasts from the speaker sitting on the sink where Bea is currently styling her hair. I can’t hide a smile as I take us both in. An abundance of dark hair is the only real similarity between us.

Too easily I can imagine my big sister Hannah here with us. Complaining playfully about how unfair it is for us to have such thick hair while she still has to use toddler ponytail holders. An exaggeration, of course, but she always poked fun at how thin her hair is in comparison to my own. Not for the first time I wish she had fled New Hampshire with me. One day I will get her out of there. She will be as free as I hope to be.

My mind drifts to the stories Nebula told me about his sister and my heart aches. I couldn’t imagine losing Hannah, let alone watching her slowly fade away right before my eyes. His grief and pain are still palpable even with the distance between us. He obviously loved her dearly.

I make a note to ask Donovan about Hannah while we’re back in New York this week. I’m always worried my birth father will discover her role in helping me escape New Hampshire. I would never forgive myself if she was hurt protecting me.

“Your turn!” Bea sing songs, pulling me to the sink so she can pull my hair up. I let her work, finally asking all of the questions I’ve missed over the past few weeks.

“So how are things with Lex and Ridley?”

Bea’s nose scrunches when she aims a glare at me through the mirror. “It’s complicated.”

“That I get,” I respond with a sigh.

“Not so much with Ridley. He swears I’m his Fate matched mate. His connection is experiencing the other person's pain, something he promises he feels with me every time I so much as stub my toe. I think he’s crazy, but he’s also hot as hell and I do feel a pull, so I don’t know.” She braids the top of my hair into two strands before pulling them back to loop over the small space buns she’s created toward the back. “Lex is… difficult. We’ve both admitted we feel the pull, but he’s so hot and cold about it I don’t know if I even believe him half the time.”

I bite my cheek to hide a wince. Is that how Pack Graves feels about me too? Are they unsure about my interest in them because of how flaky I’ve been in my affection?

“Not that it matters since neither one has any interest in building a pack with me. Not yet at least. It would be unprofessional.” She rolls her eyes with genuine annoyance as she talks. “And with the two of them hanging around it’s not like I can sneak off to hook up with a hot musician or roadie when the urge strikes.”

My poor bestie. She’s finally surrounded by hot musicians only to realize the dick she wants isn’t even part of the band. “You’ll work it out,” I promise. “Eventually Donovan’s safety concerns will fade and they won’t be our bodyguards anymore. Then they’ll be free to pick you up.”

Bea only shrugs so I switch to a different topic. “What about Mr. Acherley?”

Her hands stumble around the curling iron she’s using on the rest of my hair when I mention the Soulbound office exec. “He’s my boss. And even if he wasn't, he's an arrogant, overstepping asshole.”

I chuckle at her description before mentioning him calling her by her full first name. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Well, that and everything else he’s done, but seriously how difficult is it to call me Bea instead of Sabine?! Especially after hearing repeatedly how much I loathe my full name. He’s such a prick.” Even with the fire in her voice, I can see the heat in her eyes when she thinks of the older alpha.

“Too bad you can’t hate fuck him to get it out of your system,” I joke.

She swats my shoulder before starting her own inquisition. “What about you Miss I never have time for my bestie because I’m always hanging out with hot musicians? Don’t think I missed how flushed you were after you disappeared with Nebula last night!”

I drop my eyes to the sink, my guilt renewed. Now would be the perfect opportunity to tell her who Primordial Covenant is to me, but I can’t force the words past my throat. Instead, I offer a different truth. “They are definitely hot. Absolutely smokin’. And so sweet. We just connected from day one and it’s only grown more intense since then.”

She finishes my hair and motions for me to spin around so she can get to work on my makeup. Bea loves dressing me up any chance she gets. She’ll be a great girl mom in the future if she decides to have kids of her own.

“But?” she prompts.

“But, I’ve been fighting the pull. At first out of concern. I doubt I’ll ever get over the fear my birth family will find them and hurt them to get to me. Then, after we grew closer and I realized how safe I feel with them, it morphed into a different fear.”

“You’re still afraid they’ll reject you once they learn who you were before,” she adds softly as she paints my eyelids. “Oh, Oms. They seem like a pretty level-headed pack. I doubt they’d hold your birth family’s sins against you.”

I hum in agreement, not speaking as she moves on to my lips. When she’s done I tell her about my call with Donovan. Leaving out any mention of Fated connections. Bea agrees I should talk to Lex and tell Pack Graves this week after their show.

“No matter what happens, babe, I’ve got your back.”

I wrap her in a tight hug before she ushers me into my room to finish getting ready.

I feel lighter having talked things out with my bestie. Even if there are still secrets I’ll have to reveal eventually, it’s nice to have her to talk to when I get too nervous about my future with my pack.

“Welcome to Fairytale.”

Music pulses through the building, drowning out any attempt at conversation. Lights illuminate the main floor in greens, blues, and golds, creating an ethereal feel to the space. Fake trees and vines climb the outer walls separating the large circular booths and give them the illusion of privacy. Mossy catwalks crisscross above our heads where dancers perform sultry routines dressed as fairytale creatures. Fairies, elves, mermaids, minotaurs, dryads. In all the times we’ve visited, I’ve never seen the same costume twice.

Shepherd guides us into a booth close to the bar and flags down a waitress. It would be faster to go to the bar and grab our drinks but the alpha won’t risk leaving us here alone in this crowd. Even if Fairytale is curated for omega safety there are never any guarantees.

Bea tells Foster about our tour adventures while we wait, filling our booth with laughter. A smile crosses my lips watching the two of them.

“Here,” Shepherd grunts. He slides a selection of whimsical cocktails and shots across to us along with three unopened bottles of water.

Uncapping the small bottles of swirling blue liquid labeled ‘drink me’, I clink the glass against my friend’s before downing the shot. My nose crinkles when the sour taste of blue raspberry and lemon hits my tongue. I bet Titan would love this. The guilt returns thinking of the large alpha and his mates, so I quickly grab one of the pink iridescent cocktails and drink half of it.

Tomorrow I can return to feeling miserable about keeping secrets from my mates, but for tonight I am going to enjoy a night out with friends.

“Damn girl, did a month on tour leave you with problems you need to drink away?” Foster asks, his eyes wide as he watches me finish off the cocktail. I roll my eyes, already feeling the buzz of the alcohol as it hits my system.

“She’s sulking because Pack Graves isn’t here,” Bea laughs. I scowl at my best friend for revealing my poorly kept secrets. She isn’t wrong though. I miss them like crazy.

“Finally!” Foster cheers, raising his drink in a toast to–well I don’t really know why he’s toasting. “We told you they’d be good for you!”

“Maybe. But am I good for them? That’s the question.”

“Omen–” Foster starts to speak, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.

“I’m going to dance.”

They follow behind me, dancing in a small group with Shepherd watching our backs. Anytime someone gets too close or tries to step in to join us without us expressing interest first, Shep blocks their path with the scary scowl he’s mastered.

Thoughts of the future fade into the background as the music moves through my body. I can feel each heavy beat as if I were standing on top of the speakers. My eyes drift closed, my head falling back as I lose myself in the moment.

I don’t know how long I stand there, swaying to the beat and letting the notes carry my worries away. For a little while the fear of what's to come doesn’t feel as pressing. I’m not suffocating beneath the weight of the secrets I’ve carried for the past five years. I can breathe.