Chapter Twenty-Four

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

NOW PLAYING: MINE - Sleep Token

I’m exhausted. Worn down in a way I’m not used to. Not from the tour or the protests–though the latter certainly doesn’t help. I’m tired of fighting against my instincts. Of ignoring the pull I feel toward Pack Graves.

Curling up on the couch with them last night after learning why they were all feeling so apprehensive about the show here in Nashville filled my heart like never before. Each moment I spend with one or all of them heals my battered soul. Somehow the pains of my past don’t seem so daunting with them at my side.

During our drive from the campsite to the venue, I’d sneakily sent them a message in the hopes of bringing them some joy to balance out the stress they were feeling. I doubt it worked as I planned since Brady pulled me aside shortly after we arrived to tell me Titan’s parents were in the crowd of protesters outside.

My heart broke knowing the anguish Titan must have felt seeing them there, hearing their harsh words shouted at our vehicles as we pulled into the parking lot. I couldn’t stop myself from going to him. My instinct to comfort my distressed alpha too strong to fight against. Honestly, I didn’t even try.

Sitting on his lap in their dressing room, a purr rumbling in my chest, I felt at home. I want to feel like that forever. Even if it means facing the thing I fear the most and allowing someone to get close enough to me to become a target of my birth family’s rage.

Tomorrow on the drive to Raleigh, I’m going to call Donovan and explain everything. Hopefully, he can help me find a way to safely reveal both my connection to their pack and my real identity.

The crowd screams in delight as the lights drop for the beginning of Primordial Covenant’s performance. While the amphitheater they’re playing in isn’t as packed as their other shows, the crowd is still massive. I let my plans for the future and worry for my Fate matched mates slip away as I focus on capturing the heart behind their performance.

Nexus growls out his usual greeting, the words holding just a bit more bite than they usually do. Their fans still eat it up, singing along. My camera tracks the various looks of rapture across their faces as they get lost in the music, able to avoid the struggles they face out in the world for a few hours.

This is what Nebula meant that day in the diner–their messages matter more than their names. Primordial Covenant’s music reaching those who are lost, trapped, or downtrodden, and lifting them up even a tiny bit would be the most magical thing in this entire world.

I focus on the band after a few songs, immediately pulled in by their energy. Their scents. A shudder runs down my spine and my eyes flutter closed.

One of their lower-tempo songs starts as I focus on Nebula. The neck of his sleek black bass wrapped in his hand. The letters tattooed on his knuckles stand out against his pale skin with the blue-gray lighting behind him. His head tilts back slightly, almost as if he’s as lost in the music as his fans are. I snap the shot then switch to video to capture the moment their song drops into a breakdown before Nebula’s solo. His body somehow gets looser, almost like his limbs are made of water as he moves. His fingers flying across the strings.

The breakdown drops and all throughout the stadium you can feel it-–the nearly violent energy of their heavy beat. Nebula and Cal both slam their upper bodies forward in time with the music, never missing a chord as they dance and play.

Letting the video end, I switch back to still images in time to catch the pair of them circling each other at the center of the stage. Nebula lets one hand fall from his bass to sit over his heart before pointing at Callisto and I’m gone. So utterly ensnared in the web their love weaves.

Whatever it takes, no matter how long I have to wait, I’m going to know what it feels like to have their devotion directed my way.

After the show ends, we leave the venue quickly. Ignoring the protesters still gathered outside and enjoying the post-show adrenaline. Outside of our buses, a large crowd is waiting for us to return. Apprehension skitters across my skin until I see Pack Graves greet the group warmly. They must not be a threat if the guys are being so welcoming.

I aim for our bus but stop when Nexus calls out to me. He’s standing next to an older woman. Her hair is a few shades darker than his light auburn and familiar warm brown eyes shine back at me. Panic squeezes my throat as I realize this is Nexus’ family. And he wants to introduce me to them.

I glance down at my high-waisted black vinyl shorts, wide diamond fishnets, and Primordial Covenant crop top. Maybe I should change…

“C’mon, darlin’. Momma Corinne is barely holding herself back from dragging you over there.” Titan murmurs as he wraps one massive arm around my back and guides me to where his packmates stand.

Here goes nothing, I guess. Just unexpectedly meeting my Fated mate’s parents. No big deal.

“Mom, this is Omen Powell. She’s the new photographer the label hired for our tour.” Nexus introduces me to his mother, who beams. “Gorgeous, this is my wonderful mother, Corinne Bowen.” If anything, his mother’s smile grows wider hearing her son's nickname for me. I stammer out a quick ‘hello’ before Nexus drags me away.

Heat blazes across my cheeks and up my chest as I’m led around and introduced to his entire family. His fathers–one alpha, one beta. His older brother and two older sisters. Plus their partners and families. Nieces and nephews who were old enough to stay up late enough to stop by to visit with their uncle.

It’s chaotic and overwhelming.

I also can’t help the jealousy and sadness warring within me watching him interact with all of them. It’s easy to see they love him and his mates. They’re so committed to supporting him they stayed up until midnight to be able to come visit him for an hour while he’s in town.

My family would never accept me the way they have him. Only my big sister Hannah ever truly loved me. Seeing Nexus talk with his oldest sister, gently rubbing her stomach where she carries his newest niece, I miss my sister dearly. Not for the first time I find myself wishing she had been able to escape with me when the DAU took me in.

“We can be a lot,” Corinne says gently. I didn’t even realize she was standing beside me until she spoke. “Those boys,” she points to Nebula, Callisto, and Titan, “had a similar look on their faces the first time we met.”

While I don’t doubt her honesty, it is difficult to reconcile the image of the guys now–relaxed and playful, fully fitting in with Nexus’ family–with the scared outcast I feel like.

“Maybe like Cal, you come from a small family and aren’t used to large gatherings,” she muses. “Or maybe like Titan and Nebula, your relationship with your family is strained. Whatever the case, as long as you are in our son’s life, we will treat you like family.”

Her offer is so sweet. She reminds me a little of Shelby but without my adopted mother’s sass and the addition of a Southern twang to her voice. “Thank you,” I offer awkwardly but genuinely. Corinne waves me off.

We stand, watching her family and the rest of the tour staff as they set up a bonfire by the edge of the small lake our campground sits near. Someone breaks out the stuff for s'mores earning cheers from the group, while someone else starts up a game of charades. I can’t hide a laugh watching Nexus’ dads jump right into the game, already teasing each other with trash talk. It’s easy to see where my alpha gets his love of board games from.

After being roped into several rounds of charades as Nexus’ partner, I gracefully bow out and move to sit along the shoreline. I’m only sitting alone–well as alone as I can be with Lex acting as my shadow–for a few moments when Corinne joins me. “You’re good for him. All of them really,” she tells me with a pat on the back of my hand.

I shrug in response, picking rocks out of the sand so I don’t reveal my own insecurities about her statement.

“I don’t know how much my son has told you about his life here in Tennessee. Or how much any of them have shared with you, but I’m guessing you know enough to understand growing up here wasn’t easy for them.” I nod and she continues. “When my husband William accepted a job at the local hospital here, we were thrilled to take the opportunity. When we got here, we started to realize how different Tennessee is from Virginia. We never imagined the issues our children would face. Nexus most of all.”

She pauses to look back at the fire when a round of laughter fills the air. Her smile accentuates the light laugh lines on her face. She’s a stunning omega. Someone whose presence screams ‘mom’ even without knowing she has four kids of her own.

“Nexus was diagnosed with anxiety early in his life. He had a panic attack his first week of elementary school, trying to hide in an empty trash bin to escape all the noise and the other kids. The principal had to call his sister, Audrey, to the office to help calm him down until I could get to the school to pick him up.” We both laugh at the story, imagining tiny Nexus trying to hide in a smelly trash can. “Growing up, there were many times we thought he might have been an omega. So we were shocked when he presented as an alpha. Thrilled of course, we’d never judge him for something out of his control, but it was unexpected.”

That is something I can understand completely. I never expected to present as an omega after all.

“All of the trouble we faced adjusting to life here in Tennessee paled in comparison to watching Nexus’ journey as an alpha in this backward state. They ridiculed him relentlessly. Bullied him, beat him up, and trashed his dorm room. Anything they could get away with, they did. All because he didn’t fit the mold they imagined alphas should fill.”

My heart pangs hearing how poorly my sweet alpha was treated by his peers.

“Then he met Nebula. The first of his mates. Their struggle didn’t magically end, if anything it got worse, but they had each other which was all that mattered. My point is–” she says firmly, urging me to look over at her. “When life hands you a good thing, something that feels right down to your very soul, you should cherish it.”

I don’t know if Corinne knows the connection between her son’s pack and me, or if she’s just reading between the lines of the interactions she’s seen between us. I do know she’s right. Very rarely has Fate gifted me with something positive, something good. I need to enjoy it while it lasts. I’m done letting the fear of my family control me.

After a late night on the beach with Nexus’ family, I overslept and didn’t have enough time to call Donovan before our workday started. I felt a little disappointed in myself, wanting a solution to my problem sooner rather than later, but life on the road is busy. We’re currently in the middle of a five-day stretch of back-to-back shows so it’s natural for some things to get pushed aside until our next day off.

Thankfully the show in Raleigh was a lot calmer, even with a small group of protesters outside. I think spending time with family helped Pack Graves shake off the worst of their lingering angst caused by our time in Nashville. By the time they’d taken to the stage last night, they were back to their usual sensual selves.

Today we head to Norfolk for another show. Since the cities are so close together, we get a nice break before we have to leave our campsite here in Raleigh. Time I intend to spend making a plan for the future.

My phone sits on a pillow beside me, speaker enabled, and a call to Donovan in the process of connecting. It only rings twice before he answers, sounding as chipper as ever. “Good morning Trouble, how’s life on the road treating you?”

I know he gets regular updates from Lex about any issues we encounter–like the protesters back in Cedar Rapids and Nashville–so I don’t bother to bring up any of my concerns there. The DAU is working tirelessly to bring an end to the oppression people like Adam Pierson bring into our government. I have to trust them to do their best to protect us all.

“It’s much more chaotic than I imagined. And exhausting,” I tell him honestly.

“Mmmm. I believe it would be a big change to suddenly be surrounded by so many other people every day after spending the majority of your time at the academy in a shared apartment with Bea. You seem to have adjusted to the differences well though.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. It does get overwhelming constantly being around so many other people, but I wouldn’t trade this career for the solitude of my apartment. Accepting this job led me to meet my Fate matched mates. “That’s actually why I was calling. Sort of anyway.”

“I’m always here to listen and to help where I can,” Donovan replies easily. Taking a deep breath, I tell him everything. The pull I feel to Primordial Covenant. Finding out they are the pack at the other end of my Fated connection. My fears over growing close and having my birth family discover who they are to me. My desire to tell them the truth about not only who I am to them, but who I was before the DAU took me in and the Powell’s adopted me.

“You’ve been carrying quite a lot on your shoulders,” He finally says. He listened patiently while I spilled every thought in my mind, for which I am grateful. It is honestly a relief to have gotten everything off of my chest. Keeping so many secrets is draining.

“Your concerns regarding revealing your birth identity to this pack, do you feel they may reject you for your connection to your family?”

“I don’t believe they would. They’re actively pro-pack, pro-designation, which means they don’t agree with my father’s beliefs, but nothing they’ve ever mentioned has led me to believe they would hold my origins against me.”

“I’ve heard some of their band’s music and read a few of their interviews, as scarce as they are. It’s clear to see they respect Fated bonds and are waiting for their own Fated omega, so I’m inclined to agree with you.” Donovan’s agreement eases some of the tension in my shoulders. Rejection is the scariest thing an omega can face as it often leads to their death. “Am I the only person you’ve spoken to about this?”

I hesitate before admitting he is, not wanting to be judged for not trusting anyone else with this information. He doesn’t look down on me for my decision though, he only takes my secrecy into account.

“First, you need to talk to Lex. He spends every day with you and your mates, so he will be able to decide if this band will keep your secret or put you at risk of discovery.” I bite my cheek knowing it won’t only be Lex I have to talk to. Bea won’t talk to me for a year if I tell him without telling her first. “Then, if Lex agrees, you can tell your pack the truth. Make sure they’re aware of how important it is your birth identity remains hidden.”

We talk for a bit more until a knock at my nest door has me rushing out a quick thank you and goodbye. Glancing at my phone screen, I frown. It’s only nine in the morning, so I know it isn’t Bea outside. She’s not a morning person by any standard.

Cracking the door open I wonder if Donovan had text Lex to let him know we needed to talk when I find my alpha bodyguard on the other side.

“Good morning?” It comes out as a question that earns me an eye roll from the stoic man.

“You have plans. Get dressed.” He walks away before I can ask anything else.