Chapter Twenty

CHAPTER TWENTY

NOW PLAYING: DIZZY - MISSIO

“You can’t take off alone! It’s my job to protect you. How the hell am I supposed to do that if you’re sneaking off the bus in the middle of the damn night? Or do you not give a shit about your safety?” Lex’s voice booms through the front of the bus as he stomps up the stairs behind me.

He’s pissed, probably rightfully so, but I can’t handle this right now. My skin crawls beneath his alpha aggression and I can barely hold back a whine of discomfort.

I need my nest, not a lecture.

Bea and Ridley pace the interior of the bus, their sour scents only adding to my distress. “I know exactly what threats endanger me, Mr. Ferguson,” I sneer. I’m not really mad at him. At any of them, but I can’t stop from lashing out. I need an outlet for the frustration I feel after my kiss with Callisto.

“I needed a minute to myself without you three silently judging me!”

“Omen, we aren’t judging you. We’re worried about you.” Bea pleads.

I can hear the three of them whispering among themselves out in the main room but I don’t have the energy to worry about what they’re saying. “Yeah, well maybe you should worry about yourselves and leave me alone,” I shout as I slam open the door to my nest and toss myself inside, pulling it closed behind me.

I’m tired, hot, and pissed off. Mostly with myself, but also a little bit with them too. Bea may say they’re only worried about me, but I’m neither blind nor stupid. They disapprove of the way I’ve been avoiding Pack Graves the past few days. This is rich coming from the three of them when they’ve been avoiding the obvious pull between them for weeks.

Kicking the blankets away, I sit up and strip off my clothes, carefully tucking them into my nest. They hold just a touch of Callisto’s cedar and wildflower scent, with a hint of the smoke from his bonfire. I burrow back into the soft fabrics, my face pressed against my shirt so each inhale brings the sweet beta’s scent into my lungs.

Slowly my body relaxes. A little of the tension bleeding from my limbs. My eyes grow heavy and I give in to the call of sleep.

My core aches, clenching around nothing. Sharp, stabbing pains dig into the bottom of my stomach making me nauseous. Pleas fall from my lips as I beg for someone, anyone, to take the pain away. But no one comes.

I’m alone. Always alone.

Tears track down my cheeks, falling to mix in the puddles of slick and sweat on my bed. My thoughts grow darker, the voice at the back of my mind reminding me of my worth. An omega who can’t overcome her fear of the past long enough to let anyone in. Whose existence puts everyone around her in danger.

No one deserves to be saddled with a mate like me.

Staring at the wall, I briefly wonder if maybe I should let go. Allow the heat consuming my body to devour my soul too.

Another sharp cramp pierces my stomach and I cry out, my head burying into the blankets to muffle the sound. The light scent of cedar and violet reaches my nose, pushing those dark thoughts away long enough for me to force myself to reach for the box of toys stashed in the closet. The tip of the vibrator slides through my slick when I try to line it up with my entrance, my core too wet and my arms too weak.

I don’t know how many more mini-heats I can manage by myself. They’re too brutal to face alone.

Sliding the toy into my center I almost sigh in relief feeling my pussy stretch. It takes all of my remaining strength to situate the toy and turn it on, edging myself to build up to one mind-blowing orgasm. My eyes flutter closed and I let myself fall into the fantasies haunting me during every heat.

A warm, heavy weight presses against my back. Strong arms wrap around me pulling me closer. I can feel their hard length pressing against the top of my thigh. Slender fingers dance across my naked breast, circling my nipple. A whimper leaks through my lips when they pinch the peaked tips, twisting enough to send jolts of electricity arcing down my spine to join the growing pool of pleasure in my core.

“Starlight,” Callisto’s voice whispers against my skin.

I shudder when I feel his cock kick against my skin, suddenly desperate to feel him inside of me. “Please, Cal,” I beg. He shushes me, letting one hand trail down to my center. Those long fingers gather my slick from around the toy still vibrating inside of me and circle around my clit.

He’s meticulous as he brings me higher and higher, the pleasure blurring into the good kind of pain before I fall over the edge. My body locks up. His name a gasp from my parted lips. My muscles strain as I shake through my euphoria.

I barely manage to push the toy all the way inside of me and press the button to inflate the fake knot before exhaustion claims me. The world fades to black as my nose finds those traces of Callisto’s scent buried in my nest.

“Omen? I know you’re upset with us, but it’s nearly dinner time and you haven’t left your nest once… You need to eat something.” Bea’s voice breaks through the fog in my mind.

My voice is hoarse and I burst into a fit of coughs from how dry it is. A shrill sound rings through my skull, a sign I’m most likely dehydrated. Sweat cools against my skin and the bed is sticky with old slick. I feel gross. Starving. Thirsty enough to drain a small lake.

Blinking the last remnants of muddle from my thoughts, I realize I had another mini-heat. While on the road. This is not a good sign.

Slowly forcing my heavy limbs to work enough so I can crawl out of the bed, I wince as I stretch out my sore muscles. I don’t really know where to start, so I throw on the robe I keep hanging by the door and stumble out of my room.

Bea’s eyes widen where she’s standing a few feet away, having given up on waiting for me to answer. “Damn, Oms. Okay. So, you shower, I’ll have Ridley heat you up some food. And Lex can arrange for us to borrow the SUV to take your blankets to the laundromat. I’ll also text my mom.”

Taking a long, hot shower to clear the post-heat grime from my body, I glance in the mirror as I dry myself off. My hair is a tangled mess, even after washing it. The skin beneath my eyes is dark, a clear side effect of the exhaustion still clinging to my body.

I haven’t bothered to return my contacts and it’s odd to see my own sea-green orbs looking back at me. Sighing, I leave the contact container untouched and walk out to the living room area.

Bea doesn’t comment on my lack of disguise, she just slides my phone across the table toward me. I glance at the lit screen to see multiple unread texts from Pack Graves. Nexus mostly.

Opening the thread, I have to fight back tears when I read them all. Sweet notes about his day, awful jokes he found on the internet, candid pictures of him and his mates. I haven’t responded to a single message in three days and yet he never stopped sending them.

I feel overwhelmingly shitty seeing how much effort he’s put in to connect with me. I’ve been such a bitch the past few days ignoring and avoiding them with no explanation why. They all deserve better than the way I’ve been treating them.

Yet another example of how defective I am as an omega.

Ridley sits a large bowl of pasta on the table in front of me before settling at the other end of the couch beside Bea. “Thanks,” I mumble before digging in.

Slowly eating my food, I snort a laugh when I look up to see Ridley smashing his. I swear alphas eat daily what a post-heat omega does. Or maybe that’s a Ridley and Lex thing. I guess I haven’t spent a lot of time around alphas who embrace their designation.

Sitting my empty bowl aside, I sink into the couch cushions and will myself to not fall right back to sleep. Since the mini-heat has cleared my system, taking my heightened moodiness with it, I know I need to apologize to all three of my bus mates. They didn’t deserve me lashing out at them yesterday.

“I’m sorry.” I force my eyes open and meet both of their gazes. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did. I took my frustration at myself out on you and that wasn’t okay. I’ll try to work through things better in the future instead of taking my emotions out on those around me.”

“You were starting a mini-heat, Oms, so we all can cut you some slack. You know how I get before a heat so…” Bea shrugs. She is definitely a grump before her heat starts, but she never directs those feelings toward me.

I start to voice my objections to her immediate forgiveness but am interrupted when someone knocks on our door. Lex appears from the front where he must have been on the phone with Brady. Muffled voices float back toward us before he returns.

Panic begins to well in my heart when I spy Nexus walking up the steps behind him. I’m not wearing my contacts! He’s going to realize I’ve been hiding my real identity. He’s going to hate me for lying to him. I can’t–