Chapter Fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

NOW PLAYING: THE Offering- Sleep Token

I’m extremely grateful our tour bus has a top-of-the-line scent-canceling system. Without it, I would have gone insane from the over-saturation of Bea’s perfume. She’s an omega puddle as she not-so-discreetly watches Ridley where he is doing pull-ups in the doorway to the sleeping areas.

Her bodyguard is eating up her attention. Flexing the muscles on his bare back and arms even when he isn’t actually straining them. I’m positive his scent would be flooding the area too if he wasn’t required to wear scent blockers for his job.

Bea’s phone pings, drawing her attention away from the half-naked alpha. I huff a small sigh of relief and try to refocus on the images I’ve been sorting through from the festival here in Chicago. With both of the bands playing yesterday, today is a free day and I’m grateful for the reprieve.

A normal venue is stressful enough on my paranoid instincts, two days at a festival with hundreds of thousands of people would be absolute hell. I don’t think I could handle leaving our little safe haven even if I wanted to.

Well, technically that isn’t true. Bea and I decided to go on a food-venture this evening. One we invited Pack Graves to join us on. I’m also going to their hotel afterward to hang out, but a secure hotel room is much different than a packed festival venue.

The closer we get to leaving, the more my anxiety builds. I can barely focus on the images on my laptop screen with how my knees are trembling. Maybe agreeing to spend time with the guys was a mistake. The pull I feel towards them is already too dangerous. Getting to know the four men who haunt my dreams will only make falling for them easier.

Something I shouldn’t be doing. My presence as their tour photographer is enough of a threat, growing the connection between us paints a bigger target on their backs.

Closing the lid of my laptop, I decide to focus my energy on getting ready to go out for the evening. Perhaps the monotony of doing my hair and makeup will help calm my anxiety.

Music plays from the small speaker on the ledge above my bed. The emotional beats and gripping lyrics are a balm to my apprehensive thoughts. It’s probably unhealthy how often I’m drawn to listen to Primordial Covenant’s songs.

Would they think it’s weird how obsessed I am with their music? I’d rather not find out.

Throwing on a pair of high-waisted black shorts and a burgundy crop top decorated with tiny moths, I sit cross-legged before my portable mirror and start priming my face. I startle when my phone rings through the speaker. The noise jarring in comparison to the soothing sounds of the rock music playing.

My teeth dig into my bottom lip to try to bite back a smile when I see Nexus’ name flashing on the screen. Swiping to accept the call, I switch the sound to speaker before answering.

“Hello, gorgeous!” His voice fills my mini nest, sending shivers up my spine. “We’re out exploring right now. Grabbing snacks for tonight. Titan found this super cool candy store a few blocks up from where we are staying. They have so many options it's ridiculous!”

I apply a light smoky eye while he speaks. His words are rushed, tinged with a hint of nervousness that only endears me to this sweet alpha further. “Would you believe they have an entire wall of gummies made to look like other foods? Pickles, pizza, carrots, sushi, shrimp, mushrooms. They even have a very realistic collection of gummy bugs. I’m kinda afraid to try those. What if they also taste realistic?”

Shuffling sounds muffle his voice, but I can hear my name. “Hello, darlin’.” Titan’s voice fills the line. I’m surprised the usually quiet alpha has taken over the call. I don’t know any of their pack very well, but I know Titan the least of all of them. He seems to stick to himself when I am around.

I honestly thought he wasn’t a fan of me, but maybe I was too quick to make assumptions.

“You gonna open this sour candy mystery box with me later?”

“S-sour?” I manage to squeak. My cheeks burn at the high-pitched sound of my own voice.

“Not a sour fan? Cal found a candy charcuterie board we could make instead.”

“Um, I don’t do sweets often…” I trail off awkwardly.

“Ah, a savory snack kind of girl then?” He easily accepts my dislike of most candies which makes my heart swoon. As if an alpha choosing not to comment on my food preferences is some ultra-romantic notion. Silly omega heart of mine.

“Or spicy,” I admit. It’s pretty out of the ordinary for an omega to prefer a lineup of ultra-spicy snacks to a bag full of candy, but I am who I am.

“Spicy it is,” Titan says.

I can tell by his voice he is grinning and I suddenly fear for whatever this alpha is going to bring back for me. I still agree, because why not? A lot of foods claim to be the “hottest” or “most sour” thing in the world, but they usually aren’t nearly as bad as you are led to believe.

“You still there, sweet girl?” Nexus asks after more shuffling sounds.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I should probably be concerned, right?”

Nexus’ laugh is music to my ears. The happy sound lightens the darkness always encompassing my soul. “Maybe. I didn’t see where he went, but he looked very determined. I guess you’ll find out tonight.”

“I guess I will.”

“Ah sweet girl, two phone calls and getting to hang out with you later? You’ve already made my day!” Warmth creeps over my cheeks and fills my heart at his sweet proclamation. Very few people in my life have ever been so genuinely thrilled to be around me. I adore his enthusiasm.

We talk a little longer as he wanders around the store asking about my favorite snacks and drinks, before he ends the call to join his mates in the check-out line.

“Ready for a food-venture?!” Bea cheers when I emerge from my nest a short while later. She’s wearing a colorful patterned boho dress, her hair down and curls wild. The bright smile on her face adds to her carefree look.

I grin back at her, ignoring the small trickle of anxiety still in my system by focusing on the thought of filling my stomach with yummy food. “I’m always ready for food,” I joke.

Outside of the bus, we find Lex and Ridley waiting with the car they rented for the day. Lex is dressed head to toe in militarized black menswear, fitting his role as bodyguard perfectly. I choke back a laugh when I watch Bea’s eyes flutter with desire as she watches his corded biceps strain against the material of his sleeves as he opens the rear door for us.

Inside the car, I fight back a sneeze at the powerful wave of Bea’s scent smacking me in the face. Ridley is in the driver’s seat wearing a simple tee and jeans combo. Knowing my bestie, it’s the backward baseball cap lighting a fire in her horny omega heart.

Lex grunts when he slides into the passenger seat, throwing a blazing glance at Bea before flipping on the car’s air conditioning. Thankfully, once the air starts moving around the interior, her scent fades.

“Your first date with Pack Graves! You’re finally putting yourself out there! I would weep with joy if it wouldn’t ruin my mascara!”

I roll my eyes at Bea’s dramatics. “We’re just hanging out.”

“Yeah, okay. Deny it all you want, Oms. Anyone with eyes can see how infatuated you all are with each other.”

“I do feel a pull,” I admit. “My instincts are determined they’re mine.”

“Do you think they might be–”

“No,” I cut her off. I know she was going to ask if I think they might be my Fate matched mates, but I refuse to even acknowledge the possibility. “They can’t be my mates, Fate matched or chosen, and they can’t be my pack.”

“Why not?” Ridley asks.

I startle a little, not realizing the alpha is paying attention to our conversation. “I know I have a Fated connection to a pack out there in the world, but I can’t pursue them. My father… Bonding with me is a death sentence as long as my birth family still freely walks this earth.”

My chest aches admitting my fear out loud. The cavernous hole in my heart crumbles a touch more. A wound that can only be healed by the one thing I cannot allow myself to have; a pack.

“Girl–” Bea starts, her voice filled with annoyance, but a look from Lex silences her.

“I know we don’t know each other very well,” he begins. I blink at the alpha where he leans to look back at me. Bea’s breath catches beside me so I know she’s watching him too. His prominent brows and stormy gray eyes are blissfully emotionless. “I’ve been working for the DAU since I left the military service nine years ago. I’ve seen a lot in my life, both while enlisted and as a civilian, so I’m not going to say your fear isn’t solid. It is. Even more so with your father and his allies.

“What I will tell you is the threat will always be there. Even in safe states like New York, you will never live your life risk-free. You could walk through Times Square tomorrow and be killed by a feral alpha or be kidnapped by anti-designation cultists. Your father could be arrested tomorrow and someone even worse could rise up in his place. There are no guarantees in life, Omen.”

“You think I should ignore the risks?” I hiss, not enjoying his dose of reality.

“I think you should let them decide for themselves if a relationship with you is worth the risk. Shouldn’t they be allowed to make decisions about their own lives?” He raises a perfectly sculpted, thick brow as if daring me to disagree.

“I’m terrified something will happen to them because of me,” I admit. He nods, his eyes finally revealing a hint of understanding as they quickly flick to Bea before looking back to me.

“Don’t let fear rule your life, Omega. You’ll regret it one day if you do.” I get the feeling he isn’t only talking about me anymore.

“We aren’t suggesting you go over to Pack Graves hotel tonight and tell them your entire life story,” Ridley chimes in. “We only want you to be open to building something with them. You can wait to do an identity reveal until you are more certain about your feelings for them.”

“Okay.” I blow out a breath and stare out the window. “I’ll try not to push them away out of fear.”

“The world’s spiciest gummy?” I read aloud from the flame-covered black box Titan tosses me as soon as I walk into their hotel room. Scanning the content information on the side, my eyes nearly bug out of my head when I read the heat rating for the tiny piece of candy. “Is the point to murder me? Because there are easier methods…”

The giant alpha laughs. The sound low and deep, vibrating through me with an intensity that has slick soaking my inner thighs. I haven’t even been here for ten minutes and I already think I need to change my underwear. Being around this pack isn’t good for my dwindling wardrobe.

“No. Just for fun. Look.” He slides a bag of small black candies onto the table where he sits. I pick up the bag to read the front. “They’re basically citric and malic acids with a touch of lemon flavoring. Supposedly the sourest candy ever made. I haven't actually tried them yet.”

“So you want to what? See who can last longer?” I question. While I’m not excited to turn my mouth into an incinerator, I love the idea of outlasting this huge alpha in a food-related competition. It reminds me of the time Bea’s dad, Phoenix, challenged me to a cheesecake-eating contest. I lost, but it was so much fun to try.

“Sure.” Titan grins, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief. To see him so unguarded and excited when he’s usually closed off and bland sends a whirlwind of butterflies to flight in my stomach.

“Careful, gorgeous,” Nexus jumps in. His arm wraps around my shoulder pulling me against his side. He’s so open with his affection. I try to fight it, but the instinctual feeling of safety his embrace provides has my body melting against him. “Tee has what the internet refers to as ‘grave mouth’ so he isn’t really affected by extremely sour tastes.”

“What about you?” I blink coyly up at the alpha beside me, barely holding back giggles as he looks stricken at my question.

“Nex has a child’s palate,” Nebula jokes. “He doesn’t handle spicy or sour well.”

“So, just me and Titan then?” The other three members of their pack quickly agree. I smile broadly as I turn my attention back to the drummer. “I’ll need a glass of milk on standby, but count me in.”

Twenty minutes later we are seated across from each other at the table. Titan only has his bag of candy and an energy drink on his side. I have the unwrapped gummy, a glass of milk, and a bottle of water on my side.

“Okay, lady and giant, last chance to back out,” Nexus tells us using his best announcer voice. Nebula has his phone out recording both of us. I make a note to kindly ask him not to share the video on social media if my face is in frame.

When Titan and I both remain silent, Nexus shakes his head and starts a countdown. “5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Eat!”

I pick up the bright red, pepper-shaped gummy and pop it in my mouth. Titan pops one of the surprisingly black candies into his at the same time. My tongue instantly ignites with the heat, the burn spreading before I even start to chew. I try to keep a straight face as I watch Titan’s jaw clench, but it’s too much. I cough into my elbow, and my eyes water but I don’t back down.

“You okay, gorgeous?”

“Is it actually spicy?”

Nexus and Nebula ask at the same time. I answer both questions with a nod. Unable to speak with the fire raging in my mouth. This is easily the hottest thing I have ever consumed.

Titan’s nose scrunches as he reaches the center of the hard candy and he quickly caves, spitting the rest into a napkin.

“And the winner is–Omen!” Nexus and the others cheer.

Titan scowls, but I can see the respect shining in his eyes. “I admit this wasn’t very sour, but it does taste like licking a bar of lemon soap on the inside.”

I laugh-cry at his excuse for losing, swallowing the gummy and fanning my mouth. “This–” I gasp, “IS spicy!” I down the glass of milk, starting to sip on the lemon water immediately after. The acid in both helps to dim the rougher edges of the heat but it doesn’t make the feeling go away.

“I looked it up and that gummy is the equivalent of eating over four of the spiciest peppers available on the market.” Callisto looks at me in shock as he finishes reading from his phone screen. I flush, my skin most likely an embarrassing shade of red at this point, and shrug.

“You really do like spicy food, gorgeous. I’d probably cry like a baby licking something that hot!” We all laugh at Nexus’ serious expression. Titan chases him around the suite’s living room with one of the small black candies, teasing him about trying it.

I can’t hide my grin as I watch them interact. It would be so easy to see myself slipping into this life with them. To make our own inside jokes and spend our days living life to the fullest.

“Game time?” Nexus asks excitedly as he leads me over to the small array of couches and chairs across the room.

Butterflies fill my stomach at the feel of his large palm wrapped around mine. Being around their pack I always feel safe and content in a way I have never experienced before. I can’t help but sink into the feeling for just a bit longer, remembering my conversation with my friends from earlier.

Enjoy the here and now, I remind myself, we can worry about tomorrow when we get there.

I flip through my pile of cards quickly, discarding what I don’t need and waiting to pull the third brown card I need to force two of the guys into a duel. Titan cackles as he slams a set of orange cards on the table, sending the rest of us scrambling for the small squishy toys at its center. Nebula and Callisto both manage to grab one and I shuffle behind my chair to avoid becoming their target.

Laughter fills the air alongside Nexus’ shrieks as he narrowly avoids taking one of the toys to the face. He picks up the fallen projectile and turns to his packmates with glee.

Strong arms bind around my waist lifting me into the air. I squawk unattractively at my sudden airborne state but dissolve into giggles when Nebula tries to hide his huge frame behind me.

“Sorry gorgeous,” Nexus says solemnly, his arm winding back as he prepares to throw. I lift my legs, dropping my full weight and forcing Nebula to set me down or let us both topple to the ground. Nexus’ toy smacks Nebula in the chest and the war comes to a close.

“You don’t make a very good shield, wiggle worm.” Nebula’s hands are on his hips as he playfully glares.

My laughter turns to snorts at the horrendous nickname. Tears stream from my eyes as I fight to catch my breath from my spot on the floor. “Wiggle worm?” I giggle, accepting his hand when I can finally stop laughing long enough to do so.

He pulls me to my feet and I bounce against his chest, breathless for an entirely different reason when his hands wrap around my waist to steady me. Standing so close, it’s easy to get lost in his eyes. Dark blue swirled with spots of lighter blue, like rays of light reaching toward the ocean floor.

“It seemed fitting at the time,” he whispers, staring down at me. The attraction between us is palpable in the millimeters of space separating us. I’m drawn into his orbit, his gravity drawing me closer with each breath leaving my lungs.

My cheeks heat and I force my gaze away when a small burst of my perfume manages to leak around my scent-blocking clothes. An entirely too sexual growl rattles from Nebula’s chest and he inhales long and slow, tasting my desire for him in the air.

Clearing my throat, I step away from the alluring alpha before I do something ridiculous like lick him to see if he tastes as good as he smells.

“So, monopoly?” Nexus asks, waggling his eyebrows.

I bark out a laugh at his silliness. “You’re a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”

“Oh sweet girl, you have no idea how right you are,” he purrs, causing another burst of my perfume to leak into the air.

Callisto claps his hands across from me, breaking the spell I’d found myself in. “Okay, before this devolves into something we aren’t ready for, let’s switch gears.”

I send him a grateful smile and sink deeper into my chair. As difficult as it is to resist the pull I feel towards these men, I know I’m not ready to jump off the deep end with them yet. Not when the fear of my birth family still controls me.

“Cuddle pile and a movie instead?”

That sounds like heaven. A pile of warm bodies with me at the center wrapped in their scents. I doubt my instincts will let me wash these clothes for at least a month afterward.

The alphas clean up the game and our snack wrappers while Callisto and I gather pillows and blankets to add to the massive pack bed in their hotel room. I’m obsessed with the lingering scent of them in the room. It takes a lot of effort to not dive face-first onto the bed to sniff the sheets.

Nexus lies to my left with Callisto to my right. Nebula and Titan take the ends. Their arms extended across their mates to brush against me in some way. An unfamiliar satisfaction settles in my bones as I melt between them. This feels like home.

They feel like home.

“What type of movies do you usually watch?” Callisto whispers.

I turn toward him and my breath catches from how close his face is. It’s so easy to get lost in his eyes. The jewel tones sparkle with tiny galaxies even in the dim lighting. “I don’t watch a lot of movies,” I quietly reply. My eyes wander over his face taking in the light array of barely there freckles spread across his cheek and nose. A sweet smile spreads across his cheeks revealing the most adorable dimples. He’s so handsome.

“Not a TV person?”

I shake my head slightly. “I do watch TV. I usually watch crime dramas. Are you a movie person?” Callisto’s cheeks turn a thrilling shade of pink as he admits he prefers binge-watching reality TV over a movie marathon. “Like game shows or competition shows?” I ask.

Getting to know these little tidbits about him fills me with joy. I’m not used to sharing much about myself with others or having anyone take an interest in me, which is how I usually prefer things to be. With them it's different. I want them to know me, the real me. Which is as thrilling as it is terrifying.

“Um, sometimes.” Callisto clears his throat awkwardly as he glances at the TV where the alphas are scrolling through movie options and arguing over what to choose. “My favorite is First Glance Pack.”

My eyebrows raise with his answer. I’ve heard of the show. It’s newer, only in its third season. “The show where an omega is randomly matched with a pack and meets them at their bonding ceremony?”

Of course, the omega gets to smell their scent cards first and can veto them if it biologically isn’t a good match. No one would agree to bond with a pack whose scents made them nauseous.

“That’s the one. I like watching the packs learn to adjust to their new lives together. Getting to know each other and learn to navigate their relationships.” He seems so shy about admitting he watches the show and I can’t help but to fall a little for this adorable beta. As if I would judge him for enjoying one of the world's most popular television shows.

“I haven’t seen it,” I murmur. “Maybe we’ll have to watch it together.” Callisto lights up at my suggestion. His fingers brush against my wrist before he intertwines them with mine.

I can’t hide my smile as I lean my head against his shoulder and turn my attention to the TV where a newer comedy movie is starting. The fear of my family finding me is still too strong for me to consider voicing my desire to belong to their pack aloud, but I’m not going to hold myself back from getting to know them.

Lex was right, they should make decisions about their lives themselves.