18. Zane

EIGHTEEN

ZANE

W e are officially a week away from Christmas and this is the happiest I’ve been in over five years. It’s all because of my dad and Evangeline. After a long talk with her about my dad’s store, I came up with a plan to help him revitalize the store without violating the historic value. Eve said preservation was key. The best part, I have the funds to cover everything, thanks to living rent free, which I’ve come to agree with Evangeline on—Bamford primed me for his daughter. It’s sick and twisted, but sadly there isn’t anything I can do about it. I benefited financially from the arrangement by not having to pay any bills. Now, with my salary banked, it’s allowing me to help my dad.

There’s been a positive shift with Evangeline as well. Ever since my sleepover, I’ve been there every night. Things between us are moving at the pace she set, even though the last couple of nights we’ve been doing a lot of things over our clothes that are driving me nuts.

We’re relearning each other’s habits, our likes and dislikes, and how to be together without her wondering if I’m going to bail. It’s going to take time for her to build trust in me again, and I’m okay with it. I’ll wait for everything until she’s ready.

If she calls, I’m there. I have every alert set on my phone for her number. I’m unwilling to miss any moment with her.

I’ve asked her for a job. It’s better than opening my own practice and taking business away from what she’s established in town. I don’t mind working for her. In fact, I think it’s a bit exciting and scandalous to have a love affair with my boss. The bonus is when—and if—the mood strikes, we can go upstairs to her apartment. But I also see us taking a day off together, staying in, or working from home. Despite the lack of walls, the set-up is perfect for when we need to work from home.

It's amazing how a week ago, my home was at my dad’s, and now when I say home, I mean Evangeline’s. I never knew this four-letter word held so much power. Back in college, Eve and I would only spend a night together, usually on Saturday. We thought it would be easier on our roommates. We’d always planned to move in with each other in our last semester, and then I completely messed things up for us.

There will be no messing up this time. Evangeline and my dad are my priorities. They should’ve been this entire time .

I drive out of town, which in the grand scheme of things is less than ten miles in any which direction, and head to an appointment with Benny Holcomb. He has accepted my apology, even though I continue to tell him repeatedly how sorry I am. He doesn’t have to forgive me, but he has. But I also thank him for being there for my dad.

With my turn signal on, I wait for a gap in the line of traffic heading toward Deer Ridge, and turn, pulling into the first parking spot, which is next to Benny’s truck. Inside the diner, I tell the gentleman at the host stand that I’m meeting someone and walk toward the windows facing the highway where Benny sits.

“Zane,” he says with a nod as I sit down. I set a folder on the table and order a soda from the waitress after she hands me the menu.

“Thanks for meeting me.”

“Your request sounded ominous. I figured if you were asking for Evangeline’s hand in marriage, you would’ve done it at the house.”

The thought of marrying Evangeline brings pure joy to my heart, but also pain and longing. We’ve lost so much time, and we are nowhere near where we need to be when it comes to marriage. For all I know, she doesn’t want to get married. To me or anyone. You better believe I’d marry her tomorrow without reservation, but it’s not up to me.

“I think if I were to ask Eve, she’d kick me off the roof of the firehouse.”

Benny laughs. “She would.”

“With good measure,” I add. “I have a lot to prove, but I’ll do it.”

“That’s good to hear. So, now tell me. Why are we here and not in town?”

I clear my throat and pick the folder up. “Evangeline mentioned you are thinking about retiring.”

“We are.” Benny laughs lightly. “We’re tired.”

“I get it. Even working in the season, I’m exhausted.” I hold my hand up to let him know I’m not done. “But as exhausting as it is, Evangeline loves the farm. For as long as I’ve known her, it’s been her happiest times, even after Robert died.” I pause when Benny looks down at the table.

Robert, four years older than Evangeline, died during his senior year of high school when the ATV he was riding crashed into a tree. He hadn’t been wearing his helmet. His death devastated the town, and then a month later, my mom passed away from a heart attack. Eve and I bonded over our losses and never left each other’s sides.

“I know words can sound hollow or seem meaningless, especially coming from me right now. Please trust me when I say I love Evangeline. I never stopped when I lost my way. Deep down, I think I knew I’d always come back to her and hate that it’s taken me so long.

“With that said, I’d like to buy the farm,” I tell him as his eyes widen. “It will be a gift to Evangeline. From me. I can promise you we’d preserve the essence of what you’ve built for Reindeer Ridge. You and Clara can stay in the house, free of charge.”

“How would you afford it?”

“I have a healthy savings and I’m using it to do things that’ll make me, Eve, and my dad happy. If you sell the farm, I know she’ll be heartbroken. She loves how it’s tied to our community. It’s important to her. It’s important to me. I saw what the trees you gave my dad did for the store. He needs that. And if you sell, there’s no way to know if the farm will stay or if the potential new owners would want to be involved.

“The farm is prime land. Someone could come from the city and turn the space into a subdivision. I don’t want to see that happen.”

“Where will you live?”

This time I’m grinning. “Honestly, sir. I’m hoping to live with Evangeline at the firehouse. I love her apartment. I’ve asked her for a job, so we’ll see if she’s going to hire me. If not, I’ll take a job in Albany or something. But ideally, Eve asks me to move in and we stay until we outgrow the space.”

“It is a very nice space.”

“The view, especially right now when it snows, is too good to pass up.”

Benny points to the folder. “What’s in there?”

I hand it to him but don’t let go. “This is my offer.”

Benny takes the folder, opens the flap, and reads. I don’t move my eyes from him, watching him study the one line of numbers. He closes the folder just as the waitress returns to take our order.

He orders a steak and egg combo and to make things easy, I do the same. When she’s gone, I look at the man who I hope will one day be my father-in-law.

“It’s too much. ”

I do a double take. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Clara and I have a number in mind, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking this from you.” Benny opens the folder again, takes a pen from his shirt pocket, and scribbles on the sheet of paper. He nods at the file.

I hesitate for a minute, trying to understand what is going on right now. I take the folder, open, and grin. “This is what you want for the house, land, and Reindeer Ridge operation?”

“And not a penny more,” he says. Benny takes a drink of his soda. “Clara and I will also accept the invite to stay in the house when we’re in town.”

“Absolutely.” I reach across the table and shake his hand.

“The farm will belong to Evangeline?”

I nod. “Yes, it will. It’s the least I can do. We’d always planned on this—taking over our family operations—and I can’t think of a better time than now.”

“Once we get through the holidays, we’ll go through everything.” Benny chuckles. “There’s a lot that goes into running the farm. It’s not just a November to December operation.”

“Bring it on.”

On my way back to Deer Ridge, my phone rings. Even though this is a rental, I hooked up the Car Play so I could utilize the large screen on the console. Caryn’s photo and number appear on the screen. The sight causes a spike of anxiety. My heart starts to race and not in a good way.

Reluctantly, I accept the call, give it a few seconds to connect, and then say, “Hello?”

“Zane?”

“Hey, Caryn.”

My mind whirls with why she’s calling. We’ve ended. On neither good nor bad terms. Our relationship is over.

“What would you like me to do with your things?”

My “things” are mostly clothes. I have very few possessions because none of what I liked would ever go with Caryn’s aesthetic. I didn’t even have my own space in her apartment. The more I think about it, which I don’t like doing, I was nothing more than a roommate.

Going back to New York isn’t an option. There is no way I’d be able to convince Evangeline of this. Nor would I want to put her through any type of agony, wondering if I’m coming back.

“I suppose asking you to pack and ship my things to me is out of the question?”

“You want me to pack?”

“It would be like packing a suitcase,” I tell her. “Only in a box.”

“Uh . . .”

“How about I hire someone?”

“Why can’t you come do it?”

I shake my head even though she can’t see me. “That’s not going to work, Caryn.”

“Why not? Is the life we had so bad? ”

“Yes and no,” I say, sighing. I pull over to the side of the road, put my SUV in park, and turn my hazards on. The problem with that is someone will undoubtedly stop to see if I need help.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she says.

“When did you find out about me?”

“What do you mean?”

“The day we met was this the first time you knew who I was?”

Caryn is silent for a long moment.

“Caryn?”

“Um...”

“When?”

“I don’t want you to be mad, Zane.”

“Tell me, please?”

Caryn sighs. “I first saw you at this thing my dad went to at some school to look for employees. Serena and I were walking around and there you were. We followed you around and Serena came up with the idea for my dad to talk to you. I told him I wanted you in New York.”

My eyes well up with tears and my throat squeezes. “What you did...”

“Nothing, Zane. I showed you a life that you could only dream of.”

I shake my head. “No, what you did was take me from the life I had dreamed of for as long as I could remember.”

“No one thrives in a small town.”

“Sometimes, it’s not about prospering, Caryn. Tell you what, if you can’t be bothered to pack and send my things, then toss them out.” I bang my fist on the steering wheel. “No, you know what, those are clothes you bought me, and I don’t want them.”

“Zane...”

“Goodbye, Caryn.”