Chapter Seventeen

"What a fine day for a drive!" Miss Fairfax's eyes were bright, her cheeks pink in the brisk breeze, and she was everything sweet and delightful. Of everyone Nick had danced with last night, she was one of the few he hadn't already rejected, and he'd had good reasons for not considering any of the others in the past; from what he'd observed last night, those reasons still held up.

If he were being honest with himself, he wasn't sure he could still trust his own opinions of people. He had once had a good deal of friends, and he couldn't expect everyone in London to be awful. Perhaps he had raised his standards so high that they could never be met and he was only fooling himself into thinking he was any better than the rest of them.

He wasn't better. He knew he wasn't.

He had hardly slept last night, and as he navigated Lord Calloway's horses into crowded Hyde Park, he was regretting more and more his decision to ask Miss Fairfax to accompany him today when he was clearly struggling to maintain the status quo. At least Calloways' horses were well trained, as were his servants, who hadn't batted an eye when Nick had arrived at the baron's unoccupied town house and asked to borrow the curricle.

It was a good thing he had endeared himself to the London Calloway staff years ago, before he'd gotten himself into his ridiculous mess of lies. And perhaps equally fortunate that Calloway was too busy with his new wife to make the effort to come into Town unless he had to. With no animals or vehicles of his own, Nick was going to take advantage of the man's absence.

"Oh look, there is Mr. and Mrs. Allen!" Miss Fairfax pointed to a couple who were feeding ducks at the edge of the Serpentine. "Did you know they had to move into a smaller residence this year because their finances couldn't support where they were living before?"

Nick gripped the reins a little tighter. Hopefully this was only one observation and not an indication of Miss Fairfax's general nature. "Is that so?" he growled out. "Losing one of his ships must have taken its toll."

Thankfully, Miss Fairfax blushed with embarrassment, as if she hadn't realized until now that there may have been a reason for someone's finances taking a turn for the worse. "Oh, how sad!" she said softly. It was only a moment before she perked up again, pointing toward a young woman who walked with an aging chaperone. "Did you know Miss Gardner has a dowry of more than six thousand pounds?"

Nick didn't bother to respond to that comment. He had a feeling Miss Fairfax would continue on well enough without him.

"Oh, do you see the Duke of Tipton walking with his brothers? I heard he and Lord Alexander had a row in the middle of Vauxhall last week. No one knows what about, but I'm surprised to see Lord Alexander acting so genially toward his brother. He was rather upset with him last—"

"Miss Fairfax." Nick pulled the horses to a halt despite being in the middle of the pathway. He was already short-tempered as it was, and he needed to tell the girl to hold her tongue before he became any more irritable. Shifting where he sat to better face her, he took a slow breath before saying anything. This was not the time to get frustrated, as much as he wished to. He knew better than anyone how harmful gossip could be, but Miss Fairfax apparently did not. "I appreciate your knowledge of the ton , but perhaps spreading rumors is not the best use of your time."

Her eyes went wide. "But they are not rumors; they are truths. And surely you of all people would appreciate—"

"Have you ever actually met the Duke of Tipton or his brothers?"

That got her to close her mouth for a moment, her expression shifting into confusion. "Met a duke? No, of course not."

"And did you know anything of Mr. Allen's ship before I said something?"

"No." She had turned rather pink, likely realizing her folly in speaking of things she knew nothing about.

Maybe someday London Society would finally realize that spreading gossip did nothing to benefit anyone, but Nick wouldn't hold his breath. He had been the subject of that gossip for three years now, with no signs of that changing.

True, he had spread plenty of lies, but they had only ever been about himself. Never about other people.

Nick took another deep breath and ignored the glare he received from a man who had to direct his gig around them. "Miss Fairfax, nothing good comes of speaking about people so negatively. What should it matter that Miss Gardner has a large sum to her name when that has nothing to do with you? You should worry about your own qualities and hope no one is talking poorly of you ."

Oh goodness, was she crying now? Miss Fairfax did her best to keep her composure, but tears were most certainly sprouting in her eyes as she focused her attention directly ahead of them instead of looking at him. Perhaps he had been too harsh, young as she was, but she would have to learn at some point, wouldn't she?

No, he had most certainly been too harsh, and he mentally kicked himself for letting his tongue fly free. The girl didn't deserve his frustrations simply because she had been raised in an uncaring Society. "Miss Fairfax, forgive me. I shouldn't have said..."

Sniffling, she blinked a few times before her eyes caught on something ahead. "Oh look, there is my friend Miss Sophie. Do you mind if we... ?"

Recognizing her need for something familiar and comfortable, Nick shook his head. "Of course we can say hello. Allow me." He hopped from the curricle and then assisted Miss Fairfax to the ground, cursing the way she pulled her hand free as soon as she was steady. He had no desire to make a match with the young woman, but neither had he intended to hurt her.

It seemed Miss Mackenzie had not been the cause of him becoming a beast after all; he was boorish all on his own.

Miss Sophie arrived only a moment later, and though Nick hadn't met her, she looked at him with a knowing glint in her eyes before greeting Miss Fairfax. The question was what did she know? "Miss Fairfax, so lovely to see you!"

The two women embraced, and then Miss Fairfax turned to Nick. "Sophie, this is—"

"Yes, I know who you are," Miss Sophie said, her gaze turning colder the longer she looked at Nick.

Well, that was certainly an unfamiliar reaction from anyone aside from Miss Mackenzie, and Nick found he didn't like it one bit. Despite the utterly improper greeting Miss Sophie had given him, he decided to hold his tongue and let her think whatever she wanted about him. Everyone else seemed to, but at least everyone else liked him.

"Might I speak to you privately for a moment?" Miss Sophie asked Miss Fairfax, and the two ladies scurried several feet away toward the lake, leaving Nick with the horses.

Normally, if he was left standing on his own, women took advantage of the opportunity and approached him in the hopes of befriending him or subtly convincing him to court them. Sometimes not so subtly. But as he stood in the sunshine, brushing his hand along the neck of the nearest horse, Nick watched several people pass without even sparing him a glance. Those who did look at him turned immediately to their companions and started whispering. Some people even glared at him, like Miss Sophie had.

"What new rumor has spread about me?" he wondered out loud.

The horse snorted in response, as if laughing at him.

"You're quite right," he agreed. "Surely there have been many, not just one." He would have to figure out what people were saying about him and ensure he twisted it to his favor, but no one was coming close enough for him to overhear any of the conversations happening around him. Perhaps Miss Sophie was relaying the information to her friend and Miss Fairfax in turn would tell him what she had heard. She seemed all too eager to spread whatever she knew about those around her. Once he knew the scope of the rumors, he would figure out a way to squash them. At what point would people start to question the validity of everything they heard?

Nick prayed that day came quickly.

As he waited for the ladies' conversation to cease dragging on, Nick continued to rub the horse's neck, marveling at the beauty of the animal. Lord Simon Calloway was as rich in money as he was in goodness, and yet he had never flaunted his wealth. Probably because of his goodness , Nick thought with a chuckle. The man was wholeheartedly kind and honest, and though he likely didn't know how often Nick stopped by his town house, his charity had clearly extended to his servants as well. Otherwise, they wouldn't have let him take the horses in the first place, as Nick had never met more loyal staff than Calloway's.

"Think he would let me take you home?" Nick asked the horse, chuckling to himself at the thought. What home? He could barely afford his rented room here in London, and his estate back in Derbyshire was quite literally falling apart. He hadn't set foot in that house in over a year, and the land was likely overgrown and overrun. Perhaps some brave soul had thought to take up residence and claim it for his own, but Nick doubted it.

The house had been in shambles even before his father had lost what money he had, and Nick had never been able to scrape together the funds to make any repairs and pay for Mrs. Murray's living, even with Mr. Mackenzie giving him a small yearly allowance to sustain him as a favor to Nick's late father.

Sighing, Nick leaned against the horse and tried not to dwell on how tired he was of relying on other people. Calloway had helped him through school; Mackenzie had helped him in the years since; Harstone was helping him now. What little coin he had was all he'd been able to stomach to take when Harstone had offered it to him upon his arrival in London.

Harstone knew well enough how much Nick had been relying on spending the autumn at the country manor rather than paying for a room in Town, and he had first offered to let Nick stay in his town house when he arrived in London.

But that would have required being in the same place as Miss Mackenzie, and Nick knew too well the danger in that.

"Though, she was almost pleasant last night," he told the horse, as if they were having a true conversation. "One almost has to wonder what manner of conversations we would have if we didn't have this inheritance between us."

Emma Mackenzie would certainly be far kinder to her fellows than Miss Fairfax, who was at last returning to the curricle with Miss Sophie on her arm.

"My apologies, Mr. Forester," she said, her voice thin. "I must return home as soon as possible."

It wasn't as if he was enjoying their drive together, but Nick couldn't help but wonder what had transpired between the two ladies to make her so skittish. "Is something the matter?"

"Hmm? Oh no, nothing at all. That is to say..." She shook her head. "I want to go home."

Well, he could hardly ignore the fear and worry in her eyes, even if she didn't wish to give him a real reason for cutting their outing short. "Yes, of course," he said, climbing into the curricle and then holding out his hand to pull her up beside him.

She seemed to take his hand with great reluctance, and her eyes fixated on Miss Sophie until he had flicked the reins and directed the horses forward. Then she sat stiffly, her hands twisting her reticule in her lap and her eyes downcast.

Nick waited as long as his limited patience allowed before he asked, "Miss Fairfax, is something—"

"Did you really captain a ship in the navy?" The question came out of her so quickly that it was as if she hadn't been able to hold it in any longer.

Nick had a feeling this conversation was not going to be in his favor. "Is that what they say about me?" he asked; perhaps being aloof would save him from the truth coming to light.

Miss Fairfax huffed. "You cannot be older than thirty, I should think. And the battle of Trafalgar was in 1805."

Nick's stomach clenched. "I believe it was, yes."

She narrowed her eyes, finally looking at him, even though he kept most of his focus on the busy street ahead. She did not live far, but her house was not nearly close enough. "So you would have me believe you captained a vessel at twenty years old?"

So much for wanting someone to question all the rumors. With the way she was looking at him, like he was the scum of the earth, Nick's guilt made him squirm and wish she weren't sitting in the curricle so he could drive away and hide. He urged the horses faster, taking the corner perhaps a little too quickly for the two-wheeled conveyance to travel safely. It teetered a bit, but he managed to keep it upright.

"Miss Fairfax—"

"What else has been a lie, Mr. Forester? Is anything about you genuine?"

For what felt like the first time in his life, he didn't have a response. What could he say? If he was truly trying to change his ways and begin living a more honest life, he couldn't very well argue against her sudden change in opinion. His lack of response seemed to be answer enough for Miss Fairfax, apparently, and she folded her arms, sitting so stiffly that he felt himself cowering beneath her anger.

It had to have been Miss Sophie who changed her mind, but why? Why was all of London suddenly looking at him like he had betrayed them?

"Good day to you, Mr. Forester." Miss Fairfax didn't even wait for him to help her down to the street when they reached her house. She hopped down on her own, slipping through the front door without a backward glance.

Swearing under his breath, Nick gripped the reins tighter and told himself that everything would turn out as it should. He could hardly lose his entire reputation in the course of one afternoon, and he would make it through this. Whatever this was.