Chapter 4

FOUR

AUSTIN

Being older, more experienced, and saddled with so much responsibility meant I was a man who listened to my gut. It also meant I wasn't a fool. Maybe for someone else, finding Jasper at school on Sunday and supporting him with getting prepared, then actively seeking him out today at the end of the school day to ensure he'd survived would have had alarms ringing.

But not me.

It was because I was older, more experienced, and wrangled so much responsibility that I knew myself so well. Understood the odds. I especially understood the reality of what could so easily be lost. It was all of those reasons that urged me to get to know the man better when my heart continued to beat double-time at the sight of Jasper, and when I inhaled his cologne, and especially when his eyes lit up with eagerness from making a mark in young people's lives.

It would be easy to become jaded after the implosion of my previous relationship, and quite possibly, I had begun to get that way. That was until the moment Jasper, dark-haired and brimming with a lightness hard to look away from, had entered my office and most definitely caught my interest.

"You're still here and not packed up to make your escape," I said from the open doorway of what was now his classroom. Jasper jerked his head in my direction, his smile quick and sending my heart into overdrive. "I'll take that as a good day."

He stood from his desk and rounded it. "I'm exhausted and exhilarated and will definitely be back tomorrow." He leaned back against his wooden desk, appearing completely at ease in the space. "It's so good to be back in the classroom. I can't even begin to thank you for giving me the opportunity."

I lifted my hand and gestured lightly, following it with "Please, there's no need. You were absolutely the best teacher for the job. I think we're lucky to have you here." I stepped further into the classroom. "Have you arranged with Lizzie to put time aside to go over the assignment pieces?" Fortunately, Lizzie Snow, the head of the English department, was as organized as she was energetic. She also had a solid fifteen years of teaching under her belt, and I was so lucky she'd applied for a position at the school just a year after I became principal.

"Yes, we grabbed five minutes today and have spoken to Gareth to organize cover for us on Friday so we can spend the afternoon going over everything. She's been great."

"Excellent. And you're okay until then?" I still remembered how crazy joining a new school could be, especially as a young teacher.

"Absolutely. And Lizzie has made the system super clear, so I know the chain of command should I need anything."

My stomach dipped a little at that. I'd like nothing more than to support Jasper, but I also knew the reality of following protocol was the only way to go. Plus, it wasn't like I didn't have a million tasks to get done during my day. "That's good." I nodded and then glanced toward his desk, which held his bag. "Are you heading out soon?" Yes, I was unashamedly fishing for his next move, trying to work out if there was an appropriate way for me to spend more time with the man and get to know who Jasper was out of the classroom.

Jasper glanced back at his bag before turning his gaze to the clock on the wall. "I plan to in about thirty minutes." His eyes remained connected to mine as he spoke, and while there wasn't as much intensity burning in his gaze, I was convinced there was interest.

As a gay man, especially in my profession, I had to be careful about how I approached men. Not only in the sense of trying my hardest to make sure I didn't hit on someone straight but also that I wasn't misreading signs.

It meant I had to be vigilant and careful, and also as honest as possible to ensure there was no confusion. Not that I hooked up very often. I hadn't really had the desire since my split. But there was nothing about my reaction to Jasper that screamed a simple hookup. He was far too interesting for that.

"How about you?" he asked, pulling me away from wondering what to say next.

"About the same," I said. "I have to get home to Penny. She'll be going stir-crazy."

He tilted his head, a frown falling into place. "Is she by herself all day?"

"No." I offered him a smile, and his frown cleared. "I have a housekeeper who comes in every day while I'm at work. He takes her out for a walk as well as keeps her company while he's getting on with his tasks." Billy was a good guy. He was a former cop who'd been on sick leave after a work injury but had ended up taking really early retirement, along with a healthy payout. He wanted a much quieter life, hence the reason he worked for me and one other person just out of town to fill in his days.

"That's great. And the luxury of a housekeeper, huh? Nice." Heat spread across his cheeks immediately afterward. "Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing or you shouldn't have one. I can only imagine how busy you are. Plus there's Penny—"

My amusement appeared to be what cut him off. Drawing humor into my words, I said, "It's fine. And it is a luxury. I'm privileged to be in a position to employ a part-time housekeeper. No backtracking needed."

His smile finally came as relief registered in his gaze.

"I'll stop by in thirty then and walk you out, okay?"

Jasper nodded as if on autopilot, his eyes widening a little at my offer.

I quickly followed up with "But if you need to head out earlier, not a worry at all. If you're not here, I'll see you tomorrow." The addition of an early escape was out there. The last thing I wanted to do was make him uncomfortable or pressure him into thinking he had to stick around simply because I wanted him to.

I'd seen enough relationships between staff members start, evolve, some end, and some stay the course over my years to understand the need for both of us to protect ourselves and not leave room for misunderstanding.

I dipped my head a little and internally grimaced. Simply being in Jasper's vicinity, minimal conversation or not, had me blundering my way through social decorum and making sure any advances I made were welcome.

There was no chance I'd ever be that guy.

But overthinking and testing boundaries was hard as hell. Maybe it would be good if Jasper wasn't here when I returned. It would mean I could stop behaving so foolishly and would ensure I didn't humiliate myself in the pursuit of figuring out why I was so drawn to him.

As I rechecked the time on my watch, nervous anticipation spread through me. Despite my lie of thinking it would be for the best if he'd dashed home as soon as I'd left, I hoped he'd waited for me. It sounded ridiculous, but even a few minutes in his company would be worth it. Just as I reached the classroom, I exhaled and attempted to shake off any lingering nerves. While this was high school, I was many years removed from being an anxious kid.

I peered into his classroom. A smile sprang to my lips at seeing him waiting by his desk, rummaging through what looked like a packed bag.

"You all done?" I asked and was once more greeted with his disarming smile. He was handsome, especially now, a little more unkempt compared to the beginning of the day.

"All done." He picked up his bag and headed toward me. I stepped back so he could exit, and we faced the corridor that led to the staff parking lot. "How's your day been?" he asked.

I cast a quick glance his way as I answered, "All good, thanks. Hectic as usual. But I managed to get through the priority tasks I have. It means less overthinking tonight."

Jasper bobbed his head. "I can't even begin to imagine the nature of the job." He shook his head and then laughed. "I had to convince one of the boys today that shoving a pencil up his nostril wasn't the best of ideas." He snorted. "That I can handle. The admin that you have to tackle…." He shuddered, making me chuckle.

"Kelvin?" I asked, immediately thinking of which student he would be talking about.

"Yes." He chortled. "Does he do that a lot? I'll feel a whole lot better if the answer is yes."

"He does." I tilted my head in Jasper's direction. "How long did it take you to convince him?" Kelvin was a good kid with some aspects of his life that posed as challenges pretty much every day for him. While he could be disruptive, he wasn't too difficult to communicate with or talk down should the need arise. He just needed some understanding.

"About ten minutes and me pulling up PSP game blurbs as examples for persuasive texts." He shrugged. "It hooked him immediately. Reading and analyzing game blurbs seemed to be the right incentive."

I pulled open the door to the exit, indicating Jasper should go first. I raised my brows. "Impressive," I said as I followed after him, locking the door behind me. Larry, the caretaker, was onsite and would do additional checks within an hour. "Have you used those sorts of texts before?"

"When I was training, I taught a boy with ADHD. He sometimes needed support to help stay focused. I learned to adapt the material as needed."

With a quick dip of my head, I considered what he'd told me, relieved that not only was he aware of the importance of diversity in the classroom but confident to step outside of units of work to meet the needs of his students.

"That's great to hear." We headed through the parking lot, and I reluctantly paused as we reached my car. "This is me."

Jasper glanced at my car, and I got a little buzz of humor when surprise registered on his face. "Oh, wow." He flicked his gaze at me, and I lifted my brows in response. "I wouldn't have called you driving this in a million years." He followed up with a grin, and I laughed.

"Surprisingly, you're not the first to give that reaction."

He reached out and touched the hood almost reverently. "1951?"

It was my turn to be surprised. It must have shown, as he snorted and said, "Yeah, I get that reaction a lot too when it's clear I know my cars." He rolled his eyes. "I don't quite fit the cliché for book nerd and English teacher, but it's not that far a stretch of the imagination, I know. But me knowing this is a 1951 Ford F1 with a V8 that I'm sure sounds incredible…. And—" He walked around my truck, then glanced back at me, his eyes wide. He then whistled. "You have a ton of original parts. Wow."

A shit-eating grin stretched across my mouth. Not only did I love his enthusiasm, and my estimation of this man jumped up so many rungs my head spun, but I was proud of my F1. I'd sourced all the parts myself for my friend Drayton to then put her together to her former glory. "She is incredible." I didn't even get an eye roll at assigning a gender to my car, something my ex had curled his lip up at regularly.

"Have you had her long? "

My stomach flipped at his interest. "I bought her six years ago now. She was finally finished three years ago. My friend worked on her between jobs. Plus, it gave me time to source everything needed."

He smiled the whole time as he listened attentively, then cast a longing glance at my Ford. I didn't even give myself time for the thought to percolate before I offered, "Maybe one time when we're not racing home, we can go for a drive." I desperately wanted to clear my throat, even considered shuffling my feet; instead, I remained rooted and hoped I came across as casual.

His "Really?" followed by his smile broadening impossibly wide eased a whole lot of tension from my shoulders.

"Definitely. She's worth the effort to find time," I said. And I really hoped Jasper would think I was worth getting to know too.

Once he made his way back to the front of my car, his eyes reconnected to mine. "I'd really like that. Thanks."

I had no choice but to swallow, needing the movement to ensure when I spoke, my words came out normally. "That sounds great. Let me look at how crazy things are this weekend, and if I have free time, maybe we can do Saturday afternoon?"

He was bobbing his head before I finished, and a more familiar surge of confidence filtered through me. The sensation eased over like a familiar blanket. I disliked feeling any hint of doubt, but especially around Jasper. I wasn't so na?ve as to not understand why. My confidence and definitely my ego had taken a hit after being burned by my ex. While maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to keep my ego in check, I wanted my certainty back and wanted the whispers of doubt to disappear.

"Whatever works for you. I'll make it happen. There's no way I'd miss out on the opportunity to spend the time with yo—um, her." A flush of heat raced across his cheeks, and I fought like hell to avoid having my reaction show across my face.

Deliberately ignoring the faux pas, I offered a wink, deciding my offer to take him out had moved beyond the need for discretion when it was the two of us. "Sounds good." I pulled my keys out of my pocket as Jasper nodded and started backing away.

"Okay, thanks, and thanks for your support today. Have a good night."

"My pleasure." My eyes remained glued to him, even as he turned away. Just as he reached the only other vehicle in the lot, I called out, "Remember to not spend all your time working. You need to chill and rest too." It was so easy to get burned out in our profession. And for young teachers especially, they could get the work-life balance so very wrong.

He looked back at me and gave a small salute, saying, "You've got it." And hell if the wink he followed up with didn't make those wings burst to life once again.