Chapter 5

Five

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“Mera, are you sure this is the right way?”

I wipe the sweat off my brow and glance up at the blazing sun. It’s suffocatingly hot out here and it only seems to be growing hotter by the second. It’s like the weather outside of the fae lands has never touched here before, so it’s been left to do whatever it wishes. The lands are strange too; they change so swiftly. One moment it was cold with sleet and rain, and now it’s boiling. My black clothes are definitely not suitable for the desert-like weather we’re in, and my skin has burnt, making every movement sting. Mera is no better off than me. The sun blasts down on us both as there are no trees or shade to hide under. Everything as far as the eye can see is just cracked, dry mud that we seem to be endlessly walking through.

Mera glances at me, annoyed. “Yes. There’s a town about two miles from here, if my memory serves me right. They’re all opposed to the king there, but there are not many towns that have ever admitted that to anyone. They don’t hate wolves there, according to what I’ve heard. We go right or left, and we will only find fae towns who hate wolves. They’ll kill us for existing in their borders. Maybe not you. They’ll do worse to you because you’re a half wolf. They hate them more than wolves in some parts.”

I let out a long, pained groan. I know she is right, but I’m not sure how long we can survive this wasteland without more water or supplies. And that’s with us being as scarce as we possibly can with them. It’s been at least two days we’ve been walking, running, and occasionally hiding from any fae. Two days and I still haven’t managed to tell Mera about Kris, or what happened to that day. She has asked a few times, but I’ve managed to avoid it by telling her about Elias and Lazuri. My mates, she called them with a smile. I can’t avoid telling her truth for much longer though. She loved Kris every bit as much as I did, and I know she’s worried about her. I would be worried too if she were still alive. I just don’t know how to say those words.

Kris is dead. The alpha murdered her.

To say them really does make it a reality, and maybe I’m being selfish or I’m just so exhausted from all the travelling and constant heat, but I don’t want to accept that reality just yet. I don’t want to tell Mera that the little girl she raised as her own was killed in front of me, and all I could do was watch. I don’t want to hurt her.

A bird flies above us and I flinch, expecting to see Rune when I look up. I breathe a sigh of relief when it’s just a white dove. I glance around the clear-blue sky, also expecting to see a dark shadow of him flying over. He’ll find me. I have absolutely no doubts about that. But I want to be as close to the alphas as possible when that happens. The only hope I have of stopping Rune’s plan is for him to see the wolves are not my enemies, and I want to be with them.

That I’ll fight to get to them no matter what.

Mera’s distraction will not last long when it comes to Rune, but I hope that the risk of him getting captured again will hold him back a little. Even if his last capture had supposedly been voluntary. That still doesn’t make sense to me. Why would Rune instruct his people not to free him? It was like he wanted to be imprisoned by the alphas. It was like he had been waiting… or searching for something. I just don’t know what.

I take a deep, nervous breath. I feel like if I turn around, he’s going to be standing right there. He’s going to drag me back to that castle where he thinks I’m safe and I’ll never find my mates again. I won’t let that happen a second time.

“Do you sense your mates are this way?” Mera asks.

I nod at her. “I feel like I ‘m following an invisible thread to them, but I can’t tell how close they are. I’m still not very good at this... sensing them yet. I think if I shifted again, I might be able to tell how close, but I have no idea how to make myself shift.”

I still don’t understand how it happened the last time.

“So, they could be miles away for all we know…” she hums. “They will be hunting us. Mates do not give up on each other. Those two alpha shifters, they’re not waiting in the pack, they’ll be out looking for you.” She smiles at me. “I always knew that you were special. Both you and Kris.” She glances at the sun, shielding her eyes with the side of her hand. “We might reach the town by nightfall. I’ll be able to reach out to the packs then about Kris.” Mera stops and pulls me to a halt beside her. “I know you don’t want to talk about what happened yet. We can do that when you’re ready. But please tell me Kris is safe? You know how I worry you both. You’re my girls.” A small, slightly pained smile spreads over her lips. “Did you leave her somewhere safe when you escaped?”

All the sobs I’ve been trying to hold back rush to the top of my throat. I’d take Mera’s hand, because telling her this is hard enough, but I’m worried I’ll just burst into tears. Getting the right words out is even more difficult because I know this is going to destroy her. It destroyed me and I wasn’t the one who raised her from a little girl.

“The day you left,”—I just manage to get the words out without crying— “the Alpha called me in. Do you remember that?”

She nods once, a trace of fear flashing in her eyes. “What does the alpha have to do with Kris? I assumed he wanted to boast about you mating with his son. That’s what happened, right?” She frowns when she sees my own eyes filling with tears. “Tell me that’s what happened.”

I let my tears fall, and the sobs that claw their way out of my throat. I can no longer restrain them.

“He — he made a sacrifice.” The words taste like poison on my tongue, surreal even to my ears. “He sacrificed Kris… right in front of me… I couldn’t stop him. I’m so sorry, Mera… I’m so sorry!”

I fall to my knees while repeating the last three words over and over again, like they’re the only ones I know. Like they’re the only words capable of defining the pain I’ve felt ever since Kris was taken from us. I close my eyes, trying to stop her death from playing out in front of me. Her blood pouring over the altar, the way she looked at me with fear in her eyes, begging me for help. Even the way death had lingered in the air, a smell so horrifying I can still smell it now as if I’m there, as if I’m watching her die all over again.

“He made me watch,” I heave between sobs. “He made me watch Kris die, and then this power exploded from me, and all the wards shattered and then the fae attacked and they destroyed the pack, and it was all because of me, Mera!” I cradle my head in my hands and finally, after weeks of suppressing them, let all my pain pour out from me. “Kris died because of me!”

Warm hands wrap around me as Mera pulls me into her arms. “Breathe, sweetheart. Just breathe. I’m here now. I’ve got you, darling girl.”

Mera rocks me gently from side to side while I cry into her, barely able to breathe from the intensity of my sobs. Among them, I hear Mera’s sobs too, as we both break down into each other’s arms. I’m not sure how long passes but it feels like an eternity when Mera speaks again.

“I think in my heart I knew she was gone the moment I saw you.” I look up at her through my swollen lids. “My dear child, I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have been there. I never should have left you.” She holds me tighter. “I won’t just make him pay for this, Verena. I’ll make him suffer. The gods will regret the sacrifice he made to them.”

“He’s gone into hiding,” I say, my voice hoarse from all the crying. “So has Bane.”

“Fuckers. We’ll find them.”

I nod, wiping the tears away with the palm of my hands. “I just wish Kris was still alive. She was so good. She didn’t deserve what they did to her.”

“In all the years I’ve known that cowardly alpha,” Mera says after a moment, “he always enjoyed corrupting things. It’s like a disease in him. That’s why he picked Kris that night. He knew it was the best way to corrupt you by filling your heart with the same darkness in his. But I won’t let that happen, and I won’t let him destroy Kris’ memory.”

Mera pulls me back to look into my eyes. A faint smile pulls at the edge of her lips though I can already sense the deep pain behind it.

“When we think about Kris, we won’t remember her by what the alpha did to her. We’ll remember Kris’s sweet and gentle nature, her love for flowers and baking, her kindness and laughter, and the way she made you laugh so hard you spat milk all over the kitchen. Do you remember that? You just about passed out.”

Despite the grief ripping apart my insides, I laugh. I actually manage to laugh, and for a moment Kris’ face enters my mind, happy and smiling. She’s bathed in a warm, golden hue, as if wherever she is, her soul is in a better place. I like to think that’s the case, and that she’s finally got the huge wardrobe filled with the luxury gowns that she always dreamt about.

“When we talk about Kris,” Mera says, “we won’t talk about her end moments. We’ll talk about her life and how special… how special she was to us.” Her voice breaks as she quickly wipes away her tears. “I want to smile when I think about Kris, not the heartbreak when I imagine her ending. I bet Kris will be looking down on us right now, demanding that we remember her as the happy, warm Kris we knew who had a fabulous taste in clothes.”

Mera smiles again, and this time it’s tinged with a sad kind of happiness that I feel within myself too. An ache that won’t ever go away, but a joy to have known her at all.

“Let’s love her memory, her stories, her life. That’s how Kris deserves to be remembered.”

I nod, allowing the last of my tears to fall until they’re all dried up, and then Mera helps me to my feet. My whole body feels weak, exhausted from all the crying as well as walking, but I know we need to go on.

Mera looks around us and a slight worry creep over her face. “We should get moving. We can’t stay out here when night falls. There are things far worse than the fae in these lands once darkness has fallen. Let’s go up this way.”

She holds my hand and squeezes it, like she just needs to know I’m alive and I’m not going anywhere. I understand it completely. I’m still afraid Rune is about to appear and sweep me away, not just from my mates, but from Mera too. As we continue our journey towards the town, Mera glances at me.

“You’re not to blame for what happened,” she says. “Kris didn’t die because of you. You must remember that.”

I frown at the sun which has grown considerably hotter in the time we spent crying. “If this world wasn’t such a vicious endless circle, Mera, then perhaps there wouldn’t be these bad things that happen to people like her.”

“You and Kris were born into that endless circle of cruelty. Your mother was too, and her mother, and all the mothers before them. There’s never been a time that mates have come back to the world—until now. That has to be a good thing. Two alphas of gigantic packs in our world, basically the rulers, mated to one person? It has to be a sign that change is coming.”

I squeeze her hand, hoping she’s right, even when the pressure of that weight is still steep on my shoulders. I let my mind focus on Elias and Lazuri for a moment, grateful for the change in subject. I don’t think I realised how much I wanted to be with both of them until I was ripped away. Until that moment, I took our bonds for granted. I almost thought the mate bonds couldn’t possibly be real, but now, all I want is to be with them. There is an almost bursting feeling in my chest, desperate to let me get close as I can to my mates. The longer we’re apart, the more I’m certain it will erupt completely.

It takeshours to reach the town. The sun is nearly hitting the midday point by the time we reach the entrance. I don’t know what I expected but I didn’t think it would be so dry and barren like the landscape around it. Stone walls that are covered in dust and dead ivy, like it was once a vibrant town but is all but dead now. The cracked, muddy pathways lead through heavy gates, and the sound of people echo from within.

We walk towards them, my stomach tying itself into knots when the gates emerge within sight. Through them, I see trees, dead and withered, crawling over the houses, which seem to be the only means of shade from the blistering sun. The scent of herbs and spices float around me in the hot air. My stomach rumbles loudly, along with Mera’s. It feels much longer than a few days since I’ve eaten something substantial. Several fae walk around us, many of them looking our way before quickly putting their heads back down again. It’s clear we’re not being welcomed with open arms, but at least we’re not being shunned.

My eyes flicker to Mera nervously. “Are you sure they’re going to help us? We’re still strangers.”

Still wolves.

Mera straightens her back. “I don’t know. This was the best choice I could find with my limited resources. It was my only way of rescuing you from the prince.” She shrugs. “I wouldn’t say it was a flawless plan, but we will fight together should it come to that.”

I really hoped that wouldn’t be the case. Not only am I beyond exhausted, but I’m not able to shift on command like she is. I feel my wolf right under my skin, but I’m not sure what will make it easy to shift. Instead of fighting, I’d rather treat my burnt skin with copious amounts of ointment, and drink gallons of cold water.

I rub my eyes, dry and itchy from observing the sky so often. Mera used the sun to navigate while my focus was keeping an eye out for Rune in case, he swooped down to take me away. Now that I’ve had time to think about things, it’s hard to mark him as a villain when I know he was just protecting me. And when all is said and done, there’s a big part of me that still wants to be with him.

Moon and star gods, why are we all linked like this? Is it just to drive us insane? Fates be damned.

When we reach the gates of the town, two men snap their heads up from where they are leaning on the wall. Both of them talk quietly, a strange unwelcome feeling hovering about them as they move into the space between the open gates.

The beefier one of the two holds his hand up. “Halt!”

We both stop, knowing how careful we need to be right now. Something simmers inside my chest...like a wolf bursting to snarl, fight and bite the hand off the one that dared command me. I blink, the feeling slowly disappearing as we try to calm down. What… was that? Mera smiles gently at them. “Hello, fae friends. We’re looking for safe passage to our own realm and we have plenty gold to pay.” She pulls out a heavy bag of coins and rattles them. “We mean you no harm.”

They both laugh at each other. “No harm.” The man’s eyes stray to me, drifting over my body. I know that assessing look. It makes my skin crawl. “The king has sent word that his bastard son, the prince, bought in a half fae slut that needs to be slaughtered. Her head is worth a title. Land. Forty fucking bags of gold coins, darling.” My heart races as I look at Mera. “It will get us out of this barren, piece of shit town.”

Mera shrugs a shoulder. She’s always been better at diplomacy than me, but I know we are losing here.

“And you always do what your king asks of you?” Mera sneers. “Would he ever help you in return? Trust me, it is not worth what would happen to you if you do hurt her. She has mates.”

“Mates aren’t real,” the other one sneers. “She’s just a pretty little wolf we can have fun with while we take our time on the way to the king. He never said what condition she ought to arrive in,” he adds with a sickening laugh and nudge on his friend’s shoulder.

Mera growls low, tugging at her cloak. The fae steps forward, crystals dangling off his chest and magic light bursting from them to swirl around his hand. It’s different to Rune’s magic, lighter, but I’d bet just as deadly. They are going to attack us. There’s absolutely no doubt of that, and I’d rather die than let them hurt us.

“Touch her and you’re dead.” Mera’s voice rings clear.

They both laugh as Mera shifts into her beautiful white wolf. She is an enormous wolf for a female, matching how tall she is in her human form, but she is injured. She broke her back long ago and while she might be able to shift, she struggles to fight for long. One hit to her back and it could cripple her forever... and she is still fighting for me.

I can’t let this happen. I won’t lose Mera too.

“I’m done being a victim,” I shout at them, feeling my magic burning under my skin. They both pause, looking to their left and not at me. Two giant wolves jump into the space in between us. They growl hard and loud, rough as alphas should. I know it’s them before they even look at me. Elias and Lazuri. The ground underneath our feet shakes with the force of their arrival. One white wolf, one pure black. My wolves.

My mates.

My heart leaps as I run my eyes over them, how they have come to protect me. Elias growls and jumps on the man who did all the speaking, ripping his head clean off with one swift bite. Lazuri is on the other, who tries to run. He doesn’t get far before his black wolf digs his claws over his back, ripping through him until flesh tears, bones break, and dark, ruby blood coats the city gates.

Their blood seeps into the ground around my wolves as more fae come out of the houses, ready to fight. It’s then a beautiful fae woman comes running out from in between the houses, wearing a long green dress that looks like rags all stitched together over her slim, dark-skinned body. She holds her hands up in the air in front of her people, her back to the wolves. “No more blood needs to be shed today! We’re letting them go in the name of our gods. Stop! They want us to help them. They sent their word to me.”

One-man steps forward, angry tears in his eyes. “That was my brother! The reward on her head is—” He is cut off by Lazuri’s deep, warning growl.

“Well, it’s quite substantial,” another man offers.

The woman shakes her head. “We all know the king will most likely just kill you rather than give you any reward. Stop being foolish. Our gods are watching, and they do not suffer the stupidity of fools.”

I don’t know who the fae here worship, the moon or star gods, but that seems to stop them in their tracks. They glance between each other.

The brother of the deceased guard finally nods. “Fine. On your head, Maize.”

Maize inclines her head, and the crowd all but disperses in seconds. I let my shoulders drop in relief and Mera’s wolf pushes against my leg. I stroke her head and nod. We’re okay. My two wolves keep their eyes on me as we follow Maize back towards one of the houses and down a few wide alleyways. She thrusts open a shabby-looking door. I step inside after her and glance around the space. It has a fire with a pot hanging above the hearth with several counters made of wood and curtains pulled across the one side of the room to hide it from view. I can smell not just my mates here, but a child and another male, too. My senses are so much stronger now that I have shifted, and it’s like I’ve been living a half-life until now.

Mera’s stays outside, waiting beside my guys. I don’t think any of their wolves would fit through the door anyways, but they’d no doubt find a way in if they needed to. I feel safe with them close by and, most notably, complete again now that my guys are here.

Maize slides me a grin as she chucks piles of clothes out the door for them. “We don’t all want to see your mates naked, or the woman you have with you. I’m Maize. Fae. Pleasure to meet you, Verena Redrook.”

“How do you know them?” I question. They must trust her to let me in here alone with her—a fae of all people. “How do you know me?”

She offers me a glass of water and I drink it as she explains. “I know Lazuri. He saved my child when my partner and I were in a lot of danger on a lake. We wanted—no want—our son to know all about the world and not just the fae, so we took him out of the borders sometimes to visit wolves we are friends with. But we ran into wolves travelling through and they attacked us. As we fought them off, our son fell off a cliff and straight into an ice lake. I flew down to get him as my husband finished the last wolf, but I knew every second my son was under that water that he could die.”

Her eyes are wide as she goes over it with me, like she is watching it happen all over again. I know that sensation all too well. I set my empty glass down, wanting more, but my stomach is churning.

“I had dived in,” she resumes, “but I couldn’t see him anywhere. The current had already pulled him downstream, and I couldn’t find him. I climbed out to see a big dark wolf dragging my son out of the water and wrapping him up in his thick fur. Lazuri’ body heat saved our boy that day, along with his bravery to dive in after a fae.” Maize refills my glass and takes a sip of her own. “We sat for hours as my partner built a fire and we waited for our son to be well enough to stand. Lazuri stayed with us all night in case any wolves came our way and helped us back to the border. I promised him a debt. So, when he came here to ask for help, I offered to shelter him and to find a way to get to you. The stars blinked at me that night, and one shot across the sky. The gods are on our side.”

“We are very fucking glad fae remember their debts, or slaughtering thousands of fae on the way here would have been annoying.”

I grin at the sound of Elias’ voice and turn to see him stepping through the door. No sooner does he do that; he grabs me and pulls me deep to his chest as I suck in his scent like the first rain to fall in a storm. Lazuri comes in after, and he doesn’t wait, hugging me from behind, so I’m squished in between them. It feels perfect. They look just like the last time I saw them, dressed for fighting and gorgeous to boot. I spot Mera entering after them. She stands over by Maize and gratefully accepts a glass of water.

Elias kisses the side of my head, sucking in a breath. “We’re going to talk to our mate and see that she is well.”

Lazuri hums his agreement, stepping back, but I can tell he doesn’t want to part from me. He eyes Mera as he pulls his long hair up into a bun. “Who’s this wolf and who is her alpha?”

She bows her head in respect. “I’m Mera, foster mother to Verena. I serve no alpha any longer.”

I touch Laz’s arm. “She’s the woman that brought me up. She’s like a mother to me. She helped me escape from Rune—the fae prince—and we were trying to get back to you.”

Lazuri’s eyes soften at me before turning back to Mera. “Then you have my eternal thanks.”

“And mine,” Elias adds.

Mera bows once more. “No thanks are needed. I class us as family, as we all would do anything to see Verena well. I’ve made mistakes and I don’t intend to ever make them again. I will serve your packs faithfully, if you will have me.”

There is no question about it. However, Elias cuts in before I can say anything.

“We will discuss more later,” he suggests, and I can tell they are as eager as I am to be alone with them. “I want to make sure my mate is unharmed.”

“Yes,” Lazuri says, standing with him. “Unharmed.”

He winks as Elias takes my hand and leads me upstairs. My face flushes as I begin to realise what they meant by checking I’m unharmed. We go down a corridor into a room that smells just like Laz, and Elias shuts the door behind us all. His lips are on mine in a breath, and I wince as he touches my sunburnt cheeks, making him immediately pull back.

“You’re hurt? I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be,” I gasp, stroking his cheek. “I missed you both.”

Laz pulls out a bag and begins layering things on a chair, everything from ointments to clothing. “You can tell us everything once you are well, our mate. Elias is going to get you drinks and food. There’s a shower in there if you’d like to go in there first and I’ll make up a cream to heal your sunburn.”

I smile at them, knowing that looking after me is a priority even if I don’t want to be away from them for even a second to shower. I likely smell awful though, and my clothes are sticking to me. None of that, even the sunburn, compares to the gnawing feeling in my chest that wants to be near them.

Elias kisses my cheek softly. “I won’t be more than a minute. I don’t want to be far, either.”

I’m not sure how he knows I feel that way, but I’m glad he reassures me. I nod at them both before going into the room, finding a small en suite with a shower. The minute the water pours down on me and touches my burnt skin, I sigh in pure relief as the sting fades. Eventually I have to get out. I wrap a towel around myself, my hair still dripping wet down my back. The minute I come out of the shower, Lazuri is fussing over me with a cream that instantly soothes the burns and smells like aloe vera. There’s food and drink on a tray on the bed for me as Elias pulls one of his oversized shirts over my shoulders and it falls straight down to my knees. He pats the bed next to him. “Come and sit down with us. I’m sure we’ll all feel better once you’ve eaten and drank more.”

“I’ll tell you everything while I do,” I suggest, climbing on the bed next to Laz.

Elias takes my other side, and I’m glad the bed is big enough for us all. With a deep breath, I go over everything that happened, not missing anything out. From sneaking down into the dungeons to see Rune, from Rune telling me I was half-fae. Neither Laz nor Elias look shocked when I tell them about not being able to shift until recently.

I blink first at Elias and then Laz. “Wait. You knew I couldn’t shift?”

Elias grins, dipping his finger in the sauce on my plate and sucking it off. I’m mesmerised by the action for a moment. “Of course we knew. Any wolf would have shifted under the pressure you were under, but you didn’t. My alpha wolf can command pups to shift as young as nine, but I couldn’t connect to yours at all. Your wolf was always there. I could sense her here,” he says, touching my chest with his other hand, “but it was almost like she was pushed down. I assumed it was because of malnutrition. It must have been your fae side, needing to be unlocked first. Being half fae makes you even more spectacular.”

“I’m very honoured to have you as my mate,” Lazuri says. “My mate is a fucking goddess.”

I laugh at that. “I’m still just me… You’re not disgusted by me being…” I drift off, scared to know the answer to my own question. What if they are disgusted by my fae side?

“Disgusted?” Elias frowns at the word. “Why, in the name of the gods, would I ever be disgusted by my mate?”

“I don’t think she believes us,” Lazuri points out. “Perhaps we should show her.”

“Perhaps we should,” Elias agrees, grinning at me. “Would your wolf like that, little mate?” I tilt my head back as he presses his lips to the side of my neck. “Is she ready?”

She’s been ready the moment we were separated, I want to say, but I feel too embarrassed. I can only nod and try to calm my breathing. Gods, I’ve wanted this. I feel like it’s all I’ve ever wanted as if I’ve waited a lifetime for it. How is it possible to feel this way so soon?

They lie me down in the middle of them, their body heat nearly as overwhelming as they both are. Laz’s big hand slides under my shirt, cupping my breasts, and I gasp.

They both groan at the noise, at my scent changing. Elias slides his hand to cup me, and I buckle. He kisses the top of my ear. “Let us make you feel good, Verena. We need to see our mate. We need you.”

I need them too.

I can’t get any words out as Elias slides a finger inside me, his thumb pushing against my clit and my back arches. “Fuck, you’re soaked and so fucking tight.”

“Make her come. I want to see her,” Laz growls, looking down at where Elias’ hand is. He flickers my nipple, which is rock hard as Elias’ fingers pump in and out of me, his thumb brushing my clit. It’s all too much. I cry out as I come around his fingers, on his hand, soaking him as pleasure completing takes over my body. I fall down in a heaped mess, nesting into Laz’s arms as Elias pulls his hand out. He sucks on his fingers—on me. Only for Laz to snatch Elias’ hand and do exactly the same.

I’m speechless and my cheeks are on fire as they both groan. “You taste perfect. Fuck, I can’t wait to spend hours between your legs, Ver.”

“I wonder how she tastes with both of us mixed in?” Elias ponders, and Laz looks very interested as I curl up in the middle of them, exhausted. I fall asleep in their arms, feeling safe and loved…and I never want this feeling to end.