Chapter Fifteen 319

Chapter Fifteen

Swayze

Picking up my tip from the last customer, I shove it into my pocket and clean off the table. The diner is pretty much empty now except for two guests left at the back. It’s almost time to run them out of here. I pick up the baskets, take them to the wash, and dump them out. A customer didn’t touch their fries, and my stomach groans loudly.

“Shit, I need to eat.” I pull the cash from my apron. This, along with the money I made yesterday, will allow me to get some groceries and more shampoo and conditioner. Thank god I didn’t have to give my money to Kyle. Even though he had to die for me to be able to eat tomorrow. RIP, bong breath.

Not wanting to waste my meager tips, I resort to hiding away in the back and picking off the previous customer’s basket.

The salt hits my taste buds, and my stomach growls louder. They’re not the best-tasting fries ever because they’re cold and soggy now from the ketchup that’s squirted all over them, but they’re better than nothing. Which nothing is what I’ve had today. After the first bite, I tear into them. I finally stop when I’m only left with a few overly fried pieces left at the bottom. My stomach is no longer twisting itself inside out, so that’s a good sign. Hooray for small miracles .

I’m throwing away the basket liner when the bell to the door sounds. I hurry out, expecting the stragglers to be gone, but instead I’m met with the warm brown eyes of my father. My chest fills with warmth at the sight of him. I was worried after the meeting this morning with Reaper that he might’ve dipped out on us, or that something bad might’ve happened to him like being sent back to jail again.

I greet him at the bar, leaning over and hoping he gets an eye full. “What brings you in here, Big Daddy?”

He smirks and I have to admit any smile, even half of one, looks good on his stone cold features. “Came to take my baby girl home. You ready?”

My shoulders drop slightly remembering the two people at the back of the diner. “Almost.” I point a hitchhiker's thumb in their direction.

“Ahhh. Well, I’ll meet you in the truck.” He tilts his head toward a beautiful blue Tacoma sitting out front.

“No fucking way! That’s yours?” I ask, exasperated.

“And yours.” I cover my mouth with my hand so flies don’t land in it. I glance back at him and he nods. “No more walking to work. You can borrow it anytime you want. ”

I squeal and literally leap over the counter to wrap my arms around his neck. “Thank you, Daddy!” The customers are still lingering, peering at us with disgust. Whatever. They can find somewhere else to look if it's a problem.

“Okay. Okay.” He rubs my back. “I’ll see you out there.” He backs away from the counter and heads for the door but stops to add. “And no sneaking out back this time.”

I give him a salute. “Yes, sir.”

“Keep that up, and I’m going to make you start calling me that.”

I giggle, feeling lighter for the rest of my shift. Daddy came back for me.

Me!

Once the last two people leave, I clean up in a hurry to get outside. I open Daddy’s truck door, and I’m hit by a megawatt of dark, creamy sandalwood with a dark bite of rum and coffee. It’s intoxicating. If I thought the station wagon was filled with his scent, this would put that to shame. I have to jump in, grabbing the emergency oh-shit handle, and I’m on Daddy in mere seconds, kissing his stubbled jaw that tickles my lips .

“I’m so happy to see you,” I admit as he puts the car in drive and speeds away.

“I’m happy to see you too, baby girl.”

I lean back in my seat, but not before noticing my comforter and bags in the back. “Is that my shit?” My blood runs cold, and my fingertips go numb. Why are my things here?

“That’s what I need to talk to you about,” he states huskily.

I pick at my nail beds with my hands in my lap. “Are you getting rid of me?”

It’s the only thing I can think of. Am I too much for him? Did I push him too far the other night?

“There’s some good news and bad news.” The doom in his tone causes me to pick harder. There’s a sting as I pull back the skin from my nail bed. I look down to see blood coating my nails. He notices it, too, because he grabs my hands, stopping me from ripping myself to shreds. “I’d never get rid of you. No one could ever take you away from me.”

I stop picking and release an anxious breath.

“I’ll start with the good news so you don’t make a bloody mess of yourself. ”

“Okay,” I whisper, still unsure what to expect.

He takes a few turns and I’m left swaying with the sharp twists and turns in the road. My anxiety riddled brain settles enough to notice this isn’t the way home to the trailer park.

Daddy’s holding my hand, and it gives me strength to ask, “What’s the good news?”

“You’ll see.” That’s all he says, leaving me in my thoughts, which are calmer now with his touch.

It's not a long ride. Maybe thirty minutes, but the suspense is killing me. He finally parks and cuts the engine, we're in front of a two story townhouse. It’s cute and quiet, in a decent area of town where everyone hires people to mow their yards. He turns in his seat to look at me.

“This is the good news.” He motions to the houses around us before giving me a smile.

“Townhomes? Is this where you, Mom, and I are going to live now?” I ask, only a little excited about the new house but dreading the fact that Mom will be here with us.

“No Mer, just us,” he admits, grabbing my hands again.

That weight that was crushing my chest releases into fireworks and I jump across the console. Daddy grabs me in his arms, cradling me like he did the other night. “Keep jumping around like that, I'll have to reconsider Zair-Bear and call you my little rabbit.”

My cheeks feel tight with how big I’m smiling at him. “You left her! You left Mom!”

“I did.” He untangles himself from my arms and positions me in the passenger seat. Then, a serious air clouds his features. “That’s the part I need to talk to you about.”

“Okay.” Encouraging him to talk faster, I roll my hand in the air. “Spit it out already before you make me go back into another panic attack.”

Nothing bad could dampen my mood right now.

He clears his throat before starting. “I don’t want us to start this new chapter of our lives with lies. I want us to leave all the baggage at the door. It’s Mer.” There’s a small pause, but it’s one that makes me feel like the earth may fall apart beneath me. He finally says, “She’s not your mother.”

I didn’t think anything he could’ve said would’ve stunned me, but I was wrong. This is completely out of the blue. A sharp pain rips through my gut, and I’m torn. “You?” I peer at him, questioning. All the pain I’ve been through flashes through my mind, reliving all the torment I’ve endured over the years at the expense of someone I thought to be my mother. I felt for her, and took care of her even when she was shit to me. “You left me with someone who wasn’t even my mother?” If I thought I was panicking before, I was wrong, because my head spins as if the world is caving in on itself. “You. You. You lied to me.”

He lied to me. And Mer went along with it. She never corrected it. Why would she? If I’d known she wasn’t my mother, I would’ve left her. I don’t even think I would’ve cared for her or sympathized with her as much as I did. Her face appears in my mind, her lip curling in disgust and hatred burning in her eyes. She wasn’t upset because Dad left. She was upset because Dad left a burden for her to take care of.

“Swayze,” Dad calls, but it’s distant. It’s like he’s calling my name from the end of a tunnel, and I’m so far away.

Somehow, I find myself staggering down the road. The wind whips my hair across my face. The road looks like liquid oil in front of me, and I wish I could sink into it. I veer off into a patch of trees, ignoring the branches that grab my clothes. My thighs burn as if I’ve been running. Had I been running? I’m not sure where I’m going. I’m moving, and I can’t stop. I hit a patch of houses in a small suburban neighborhood and realize where my feet have taken me .

Cole’s house looks like a beacon in the dark with its flashing white lights. A party on a Sunday night? His parents must be out of town again. Rich kids and their freedom. I’d cringe at this spectacle, which reminds me of Not Another Teen Movie, if not for how perfect the timing is because I need this right now. I need to get out of my head.

The bass from whatever’s playing grows loud the closer I get. A few of the kids from school are laid out on the lawn, cat calling while grabbing at my ankles as I pass, but I ignore them.

I need to forget. I need to let go. Pain. I need the pain to pull me out of my head. Moving between bodies, I’m drawn to a person I can control in this world.

“What are you doing here?”

Cole.

I can’t see him. He’s like a blur in my vision as if my eyes can’t focus on him, and I only see the moving bodies behind him.

He breathes out a sigh before grabbing my biceps. “Come on.” He drags me down a hall of doors and pushes me through an open one. He closes the door behind me. “Did your boyfriend hurt you? That guy that dragged me out of your house the other night? ”

He grabs my arms again, running a thumb over the scraps the branches gave me. I shake my head no. He touches me softly, wiping away a tear that’s escaped and running down my cheek. I don’t want that. I don’t want gentle from him.

“Maybe this was a mistake,” I spit venom at him, slapping his hand away.

“No, don’t go. Things ended too soon last time” he states, pushing me back, making the back of my knees hit the bed.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I pull my shirt off over my head. “Fuck me.”

“Say less.” Cole smirks, undoing his pants and tugging his polo off with one hand.

I’m doing the same. My bra stays on while the rest of my clothes vanish. Cole pushes me back on the bed, then leans over me, his hands on either side of my head. I don’t like this. Not with him. Pushing on his shoulder, I’m able to flip him over, getting on top.

“I thought you wanted me to fuck you, pretty girl,” he teases .

“Just shut up.” I hold myself up with my hand splayed out on his chest and rub his cock over my clit, but it’s not helping. I can’t get out of my head. I’m not even wet. “Shit,” I yell, rolling off him.

“What’s the matter? Am I not good enough for you?” He motions his hand over himself as if showcasing his abs and cock.

“You’re fine,” I admit. Like, whatever. If it makes his ego feel better, have at it. “I need to get the fuck out of my head.”

He smiles, flashing his pearly white teeth. “Oooooh. I know what you need.” He gets up to rummage through his side table, until he pulls out a little bag. He plucks out something small and white, pushing it into my palm. “Take this. It will help.”

I stare at it with its little carved numbers. I always told myself I’d never end up like Mer. I won’t turn to drugs to help me. Sex has always been my go-to because I have the control, but since him, since Daddy... he’s ruined me for anyone else. I’m not sure what this is, but if he says it will help–I toss it into my mouth. The bitter pill immediately begins to dissolve on my tongue. I collect the saliva in my mouth, attempting to gain some sort of liquid to wash this awful taste down. Once I finally do, I have a whole body shiver, and the bitterness lingers on my taste buds.

“Ugh,” I gag, sticking out my tongue. “That shit’s gross.”

“Yeah, they leave a bad taste but they are effective.” He pushes me back on the bed and that small movement makes my world tilt on its axis.

I step off the bed and tug on Cole’s pants. He assists in helping get them off. His cock springs from its confines, ready to go. Good. I straddle his waist, lining him up with my center. It’s as if I’m going through the motions, unfeeling. It’s only a few minutes later when my whole body tingles, and it’s as if I’m swimming in clouds. This isn’t something I’m used to. I swore I’d never be like Mer, but this sensation completely frees me of the pain, and I’m starting to understand the appeal.

It’s when I taste strawberries and cream in the beat of the music that I finally confess my surprise, “Whoa!”

“Right!” I hear Cole say, pleased with himself. “I told you.”

He’s trailing pecks along my neck and jaw, but I can’t feel them. My pussy wants attention, and that’s the only thing I can feel .

“Good girl,” I pat my clit between us. Cole only laughs and goes back to whatever the fuck he’s doing. I’m lost, and I love it.

Send me away from here.

Away from this life of lies.

Daddy always said he knew best, but did he? Because this seems just right.

The colors around me flow in and out of reality as I float along, moving through the motions of sex until cramps thump from inside my gut. What the fuck? It increases until the effect of the drugs can’t contain the pain. Something’s wrong. I run my hand over my stomach, but nothing’s there. Why do I feel like this was a bad decision? At that moment, a bright light cuts through the darkness, and I have to shield my eyes. There’s that bitter taste in my mouth again, along with acid clawing at the back of my throat. I think I’m going to be sick. Will Cole be upset if I puke on him? I think some guys are into that. I know I’m not, not that I’ve tried it. But would I try it?

Faces swim around in front of me until I can finally focus on them again. Cole’s standing by the open door, giving the partiers an eyeful of my nakedness before striding back to my side on the bed. Their faces are contorted in laughter. They’re laughing at me?

“You tried to humiliate me, trailer trash. This will teach you to stay in line,” he seethes in my ear before righting himself and making a spectacle of me for the audience that’s gathered at the door. “Anyone else need their red wings?” He jeers, holding up his hand that’s covered in blood. I look down at myself and his bed and spot streaks that look like he tried to wipe my blood off his hands. What a glorious time to start my fucking period. I wasn’t having my period when I took my clothes off. Did that drug give me my period? What a strange side effect. I’m definitely not taking that again.

I fumble to my feet and stagger around, grabbing my discarded clothes. Fucking asshole. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on. There are puzzle pieces like tangible items in my mind, trying to fit together. Cameras flash as I run out of the room, the laughter following me. My clothes are balled up in my hands, and a warm trail of blood runs down my legs, making my thighs slick as they rub together. I won't stop. I run out the front door with only a bra on. Then, there’s a loud horn and a bright light that freezes me in place.

“Swayze. Swayze, what happened?” That voice soothes the chaos that’s raging inside me. His warm arms envelop me. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Daddy’s got you.” He guides me around, putting me in the passenger seat, but I freeze. I’m bleeding. Aren’t I? Does he know I’m bleeding? I’m going to ruin his new truck.

“I’m bleeding. Daddy, I’m having my period. I’m going to ruin your seats.” I feel like a child explaining this to him. Even though I know from his angle that he could see it.

He continues to push me onto the seat and says, “I don’t give a shit about this truck as long as you’re okay.” Once I’m buckled in, he grabs my face between my hands and forces me to look him in the eyes. “Fuck, your eyes are blown out.” He shakes his head, and there’s a pang of worry within me, and my shoulders tense. He’s disappointed in me. Then he speaks again, and he’s angry, but not at me. “Who did this?”

Do I tell him? What the fuck do I do? Before my brain can catch up or make a plan, my mouth is already moving. “Cole.”

He slams the door, closing me in. I watch him pass by the front of the truck as he’s pulling his pistol from the back of his jeans. Oh, fuck! No. No. No. This can’t be happening. He’s not thinking clearly. He’s just trying to protect me, and he’s letting his emotions get in the way of rationality. There are too many people here, and there will be no covering this up .

I quickly yank on my shorts and throw my shirt over my head. I have to stop him.

Exiting the truck at a run, I realize everyone who was out on the lawn is gone. They either went inside to see the drama unfold, or they ran the fuck away. There’s yelling, and I follow the sound of the commotion.

“The fuck you think you’re doing in my house!” Cole is thrusting his chest out. He’s still shirtless, but he must’ve thrown his pants on before he let everyone see me bleeding all over the place.

Dad holds the gun out. “The fuck I’m doing? The fuck I’m doing?” Dad asks, motioning to himself. The people who had their cameras out earlier are shocked and unable to move. “What the fuck did you do to my daughter?”

“Hold up,” Cole has his hands up, and mischief is brewing in his eyes. “Your daughter? You watched your daughter fuck me?” He starts laughing, not even worried that there’s a gun aimed at his head.

“No, I saw a boy trying to get his manhood. It doesn’t look like you found it since you’re still playing games.”

Everyone surrounding them “Ooooh’s” under their breath, and Cole’s face reddens .

“That’s not what I saw, old man.” Cole steps up to him, pointing a finger into his chest. “I saw the way she looked at you. The way she moved for you. Her pussy got even wetter. Fucking. Daddy.” He’s taunting now, and Daddy’s jaw ticks before the gun fires.

Drywall from the ceiling falls like snow around us, and people scream. There’s a ‘whoop-whoop’ outside, and the room that once pulsed with white lights has been replaced with red and blue.

Someone screams, “Oh shit, the cops!”

Everyone stampedes to the front door. I’m worried about running headfirst into the cops since Dad recently got out of jail, so I aim for the back door. I grab his arm, pulling him with me.

“Swayze,” he calls. My grip slips from his, but I keep moving, assuming he’s following.

I’m pushing through bodies that are going in the opposite direction of me until I reach the back door. I stumble a bit down the stone steps, but luckily, I right myself before I belly flop into the huge pool in front of me. If I had a pool this large, I’d open up a dolphin rescue and get my very own dolphin .

“Stop, Swayze!” Dad screams behind me. He, of all people, should know I can’t. Hell, we can’t. He can’t be taken from me again. I can’t stand it, regardless of the news I recently found out. I’m hurting now, but I’ll get over it. Eventually, but right now, I need him to follow me.

“Stop!” Dad yells, but he sounds further away.

I’m going for the trees. He can find me there. It’s about a mile, I can make it, we can make it. If I can draw him away from the cops, maybe this time I can listen and be a good girl. If I can just… When I think I can make it, fire bursts through my calf and I crash down onto the grass. What’s happening? My vision is blurry and the world tilts on its axis.

“Swayze,” Dad hollers. “I’m sorry, Swayze. I’m sorry.”

My face is against the grass, and I reach for my burning leg. It’s slick to the touch. My veins sing as if they have been released from the tomb, which is my body. The drug still frazzles my thoughts. When I bring my hand to my face, I wonder how my period blood got all the way down there.

Dad pushes me onto my back with a crazed look in his eyes as they dart back and forth between mine. I’m confused because out of all the expressions I’ve seen on his face since he’s gotten back, this one scares me the most. Is this the real him? Is this why he went away ?

“Why didn’t you listen? Why didn’t you stay in the truck like I told you?” He screams before he’s pulled off me by a man in uniform. “This world isn’t safe for you.”

He’s still screaming for me, resisting the police while another stays behind to take care of my leg. I try to get up and go after him, but I’m held down by my shoulders.

“No, Miss, stay down. We’ll get you help, but you have to stay still. You’ve been shot,” the officer informs me.

My dad shot me? He really fucking shot me.