Chapter Seven

CHAPTER SEVEN

Now Playing: Fields of Elation- Sleep Token

“Good news, Miss Powell!” Doctor Russell says cheerily as she sweeps into my room. “The medication we gave you to treat your chemical rejection has stabilized you enough we feel confident in sending you home!”

I have to blink several times to make her words register correctly in my mind. I’m going home? To my apartment?

“I can see those wheels turning, and yes, I’m serious. Your health isn’t declining as rapidly, and returning to your nest will do more for you than this stuffy hospital room ever could.” She smiles brightly as she checks the stitches in the cut above my scent gland. “Now, there will be rules. First, you have to keep taking the medicine. Secondly, if at any point you feel it is no longer working, or you experience a side effect we haven’t seen, you are to call my office immediately.”

She leaves me with a soft pat on the back of my hand. A short while later my nurse shuffles in and gets to work unhooking my IV. I can’t believe they are letting me leave. Sure, everything seems clearer, and I don’t feel nearly as fragile as I did several days ago, but are they really trusting me to be alone?

When the curtain around my bed swings open and my best friend steps inside, I realize exactly why they aren’t concerned about me leaving. The glint in Bea’s dark blue eyes tells me what she is thinking before she can open her mouth. I bite back a huff of annoyance. It looks like I will be dealing with drill sergeant Bea until she deems me stable enough to make decisions for myself.

“I see you already understand how this is going to work,” she comments, her tone full of sass. “Good, now get dressed. It’s time for you to come home.”

We spend the three hour ride from the hospital to Starburgh in silence. She’s tense in the seat beside me, her knee bouncing every few minutes. My guilt grows with each mile we travel. I hadn’t factored in my friends and family witnessing what happened with my birth father when I made the decision to confront him. At the time, the only thing that mattered was the ache in my heart and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness.

Staring up at the tan, stone home we share, a sense of peace calms my racing heart. This is our space. Through those doors is my nest, the real one I spent time perfecting and not the mini nest I was using while traveling for Primordial Covenant’s tour.

Thinking of the guys makes pain lance through my chest. The hollow pieces of my soul where their bonds should be darkening with each day we are separated. One day those pieces will crumble to ash, their decay spreading through me until I’m consumed by the same fire that ravages my heart.

“I’m making burgers. Go get settled in your nest, I’ll let you know when dinner is ready.” Bea’s no-nonsense tone snaps my attention back to the present.

Following her through the front door, I take in our shared space with nostalgia. It’s easy to get lost in memories of the years we’ve spent together as I pass my fingers over the frames she has hung along the hallway wall. Family vacations with her parents. Events at the academy we’d attended together. Concerts. So many concerts over the past five years.

The stale scent of my bedroom has my nose wrinkling, so I quickly throw open a window to air the room out. I imagine my nest is the same, so I open the door. I’m hit with a wave of desolation so strong it nearly sends me to my knees. My eyes water from the strength of the misery soaked into every inch of this space.

My motions are frantic as I tear the space apart. Dragging all of my blankets and pillows out and tossing them in a pile to be washed. Only when the padded floor is bare do I stop. Breaths fall in and out of my lungs, my body drained of what little energy I had when I arrived.

Ignoring the wave of dizziness that sweeps over me when I stand, I force myself to drag the mass of blankets to our washer and start to rid them of my own awful scent. I’d rather sleep in a clinically clean room than face the reality of just how much Pack Graves’ abandonment gutted me. I’m stable. The chemical rejection isn’t making me spiral, so I can pretend I’m okay for a bit longer.

Bea’s eyebrows nearly hit her hairline when she sees my empty nest. “Dinner’s ready.” Her dark eyes watch me closely as I trudge out of my room and take a seat at our tiny dining table. It’s unnerving having her so focused on me. Like she’s waiting for me to fall apart again.

Nausea bubbles in my stomach as I try to eat, but it’s too much. When I push my plate away, my roommate sighs. “Do you need something lighter?”

“No. I’ll try to eat more later, it’s just too much right now.”

Bea nods and returns to her own food. The quiet between us grows awkward the longer it stretches. I’m so used to my energetic bestie filling our space with constant chatter that her silence feels like a punishment. Which I guess it is, in a way.

“Primordial Covenant is lucky I’m not their manager,” she growls out suddenly, her tone vehement. “I’d make their lives a living hell for what they are doing to you.”

I shrug, glancing out the living room window. My Fate matched mates made their choice, I just have to find a way to live with the consequences.

“When Mom called to tell me your safe house had been compromised, I thought I’d lost you.” Tears trickle down her cheeks, her voice shaking along with her hands. “Then the live stream of you going to the church happened… You aren’t leaving me again. I refuse to allow it. We can find you chosen mates to cancel out the chemical rejection. I’m sure the omega match program would be willing to help, and I know Donovan will vet any pack you meet with.”

Her optimism brings a brittle smile to my face. As easy as it would be to start trying to find new mates, I don’t know if I am ready to trust someone with my heart again. Not after it was destroyed the last time.

“You can find a pack of convenience,” she continues, not noticing my reluctance or more likely ignoring it. “Someone who has to find an omega to get his inheritance or keep his family business.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. Those types of things happen in romance books all the time, but I doubt they translate to reality. There aren’t heirs to billion-dollar fortunes out there looking for plain, middle-class omegas to bond to secure their wealth.

“Or you could go on First Glance Pack!” She whips her phone out, already starting to research the steps to getting on the show. I reach across the table and gently cover her screen. When she looks up at me I shake my head.

Standing, I gather our plates and carry them to the sink. “I’m sorry I scared you. With the mess inside of my brain, it was too easy to forget there are still people in my life who love me. Who would be hurt if I left them behind.” She slouches against the counter beside me, studying my face as I start to wash the dishes. “I’ll find a way to make it through the chemical rejection, I promise, but it won’t be by finding another pack. I’m not ready to form that type of connection with anyone, even if it was just out of convenience.”

“Fine. For now, I will accept that. But if you start to spiral again, I’ll sign you up without asking for your permission.”

Settled onto the couch to binge-watch romantic dramas, I spin a spoon in my pistachio ice cream. “What happened with Lex and Ridley?” Now that my birth family is no longer a threat to our safety, the bodyguard duo has been reassigned within the DAU. Which means that the connection I felt growing between them and my bestie should be free to flourish.

“Fucking nothing,” she pouts. “They were both put on the team to hunt down Doctor Harrison, so they left while you were still in the hospital.”

“They didn’t say anything about the pull between you? They just left?”

“Eh.” A blush coats Bea’s cheeks as she stares into her empty bowl. “Ridley came to see me before he left. Something happened, but he didn’t want to claim me. Spouting some bullshit about it putting a target on my back while he’s gone.”

A frown stretches across my lips at the defeated fall of her shoulders. Perhaps I’ll have some asses of my own to kick after they return. Lex especially. After everything that happened to me, you would think that stubborn alpha would get out of his own head and chase his girl.

“Then we’ll make sure they realize exactly what they are missing,” I comment with a grin. “That’s what selfies are for, right?”

“Fates, I missed you!” Bea leans her head against my shoulder, knocking against my cheek. I wrap an arm over her shoulders in a half hug. With my best friend at my side and my sister only a phone call away, a piece of me starts to believe I can make it through this rejection.

I just have to take it one day at a time.

“I know what we need!” Bea’s voice is way too loud in our quiet apartment as she bustles into the living room. She just returned from a day at the label, her business casual attire looking way too stuffy for dinner at home.

“An island vacation?” I joke, flipping open the bag of takeout she’d brought with her. The spicy, earthy aroma of Indian curry filled my senses. Paired with the garlicky, mildly yeasty scent of freshly baked Naan bread, my stomach is already growling loudly.

The new medicine to help with the chemical rejection has brought back some of my usual appetites, though I have to eat small meals throughout the day otherwise nausea erases any progress I make. It’s a tightrope, balancing the side effects of the medicine with the needs of my body. At least I no longer feel like I’m on a crash course with an early grave.

“No, though that does sound lovely.” Bea rolls her eyes as she heads into her bedroom. She leaves the door open so I can still hear her, though the sound of her voice is muffled when she starts to rummage through her closet for comfy clothes. At this point, I think we should have found a three-bedroom apartment to rent so she could turn the spare room into a walk-in closet.

I have bowls waiting for us on the coffee table by the time she finishes changing. She grins as she collapses on the other end of the couch. “We need a night out.”

My head shakes rapidly, declining before she can expand on her suggestion. I may have more energy now than I did a week ago, but I still feel like I’m running on an eighth of a piston. I doubt my body is healed enough to enjoy a night of drinking and dancing. Honestly, leaving the safety of our apartment sounds exhausting enough.

“Well, too bad. I’m not accepting no for an answer this time. You are finally free of the threat your birth family posed, so it is time to start enjoying your freedom!”

“Where do you want to go, exactly?” I ask with a sigh.

“New Jersey. Candy Courage is playing a show in their hometown, and I used my connections at the label to score us backstage passes! We will finally get to meet those goddesses!” She dances happily in her seat, her dark eyes bright with excitement. “Foster is going too! It will be an omega-only night out!”

“Fine,” I agree. It’s not that I want to go–because I don’t–but this is a dream come true for Bea. Meeting Candy Courage will also be a really good distraction for my bestie while the men she thought would be her mates are away on DAU assignments. She’s supported me through so much this past year, the least I can do is attend her dream concert with her.