Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

Now Playing: Ghost Inside the Shell- Catch Your Breath

‘Just like your father and brother

You’re a plague destroying everyone around you.

Hiding your true nature to deceive us.’

Nebula’s words burn into my arm like a brand, sinking down into my weakened body and wreaking havoc on my already overloaded nervous system. They echo in my mind, joining the whispers of my own insecurities and past traumas.

It’s so loud. Too loud.

I want it to stop.

I’m already broken. Bordering on the line of no return. Why do the kicks keep coming?

‘And now you’ve ruined us.

Left my mates' hearts shattered in the face of your secrets.

Your memory is a disease we can’t wait to be rid of.’

My heart ceases its furious rhythm for a second. I can feel it–the choice to stay or go. I could give up now. Accept my mates truly want nothing to do with me. That my actions have destroyed them as thoroughly as theirs have broken me.

All of my pain could stop if I let go.

“Omen, you need to eat.” Lex’s voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts. I suck in a deep breath, filling my stinging lungs, and my heart resumes its arrythmic beat. I’m still alive, though just barely.

I should probably tell Lex how dangerous my rejection is starting to be. Hiding from my birth family won’t do either of us any good if I give in to the depression my messed up brain chemicals are causing.

It takes all of my strength to crawl to the edge of the loft where my temporary nest is. Staring down the ladder, I can’t find the will to force my legs to work so I can climb down to the ground floor.

Lex returns, his gray eyes worried when he sees me leaning heavily against the railing. His mouth opens, but whatever he is going to say is cut off when an alarm beeps loudly through the house. He rushes to check our exterior security feeds, relaxing when he sees whoever is headed our way.

Five minutes pass before the front porch creaks beneath someone’s weight. Lex has one hand wrapped around the gun he had stashed in his go bag when he opens the door. “Good evening, Ferguson.”

“Dromir. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Lex moves to the side and a man steps through. He’s younger than Donovan—maybe in his forties—with light bronze skin and cropped black hair. His jaw is covered in a thick but well-kept boxed beard that doesn’t seem to fit with his pressed dress shirt and expensive suit. His startling bright blue eyes quickly find me. They’re assessing as they scan over me.

Whatever this man is here for, I have a feeling it isn’t good.

Forcing myself down the ladder, I quickly collapse on the worn, plaid sofa in the living area. When I can find the energy to leave the loft or some semblance of an appetite, this is where I’ve been sitting. It takes too much effort to make it across the room to the kitchen.

Lex presses a plate of some protein-heavy pasta into my hands before standing off the side. He carefully places himself between me and Mr. Dromir, though I don’t get the impression Lex sees this man as a threat to my safety.

“Hello, Miss Powell. My name is Lukas Dromir. I work alongside Donovan Griffith as one of the leaders of the Designation Activists Underground.” He sits on the edge of the love seat across from me, unbuttoning his dark blue suit as he watches me closely.

“Um, hello,” I mumble.

Lex is glaring at me from the side, frustrated I haven’t started to eat. His approach to taking care of me borders on bullying at some points. Or maybe it feels that way since he’s very demanding of me despite my indifference.

“I won’t sugarcoat things, Miss Powell. I’m here to speak to you about your father.” Mr. Dromir laces his hands together and leans forward his expression grave. “After your sister left the state of New Hampshire, things within the state took a volatile turn. When you were able to escape his men at the safe house in Pennsylvania–well the actions of the Montgomery anti-designation group insurmountably worsened. They’ve started buying and kidnapping omegas from surrounding states.”

I set my untouched plate aside. With the nausea now churning in my stomach I doubt I’d be able to keep any of it down. My birth father has a laundry list of hidden crimes he or his associates have committed over the years, but mass kidnappings? His anger is making him reckless. Dangerous to everyone around him.

“You’ve been rejected,” Dromir states bluntly. His words pierce through my heart adding to the deluge of pain already battering against the organ. Lex growls but the beta is unfazed. “Seeing you with my own eyes, well, you are dying Miss Powell. At this point, neither I nor the doctors working with the DAU, see an outcome of this chemical rejection where you survive.”

As much as it hurts to hear the words spoken aloud, I can’t deny what he’s saying. I’ve felt myself declining. My body is slowly giving up without a bond to stabilize my internal chemistry.

“Now hold on-” Lex snarls.

“He’s right.” I cut my bodyguard off. If Mr. Dromir is mentioning my declining health, it’s for a reason. “What do you need me to do?”

“Your body isn’t healthy enough for a task like this,” Lex reminds me for the hundredth time since we got back to New York. He was adamantly against my plan when I presented my idea to Lukas back in West Virginia.

My bodyguard thinks I’m being reckless. He’s afraid something will go wrong and I won’t make it out alive. His reaction would be even worse if he knew I didn’t plan on surviving.

“I know, Lex. My weakness doesn’t change anything. I’m still going.” My words are harsh, filled with annoyance from his worried pacing and words of concern. “It’s time to end this. To bring my father’s kingdom crashing down around his feet. He needs to be stopped and we all know I am the only one who could get close enough to him right now to accomplish this.”

He sighs, running a hand through his dark blonde hair. “Fuck. Fine. But I’m on the team to extract you. I’m not going to risk being castrated if Bea finds out I let you walk into his trap and wasn’t there to pull you out before he could kill you.”

I nod in agreement only because I know he won’t back down. No matter what I say, he’ll be one of the men waiting outside of the church to take down my father.

“Okay,” Lukas says as he walks back into the room. He’s ditched his fancy suit jacket but still manages to look like he belongs in a board room instead of a realty office. “We have confirmation one of Pastor Montgomery’s teams is stationed outside of your apartment building. So all you need to do, Miss Powell, is go home.”

Stepping outside of the realty office, my anxiety starts to build. This may be my plan, but that doesn’t make executing it any easier. I take a deep, steadying breath and pull out my phone. Lukas had given it back as soon as we arrived. If they were tracking my phone, he wanted them to be able to watch my location and realize I was returning to my apartment.

I have a few notifications from Bea, silly things like shared links to Candy Courage merch announcements and interviews. Nothing from Pack Graves, though I’m not surprised since all four of them blocked me as soon as they learned I was born as Sarah Montgomery.

Ignoring the persistent ache in my heart, I order a ride-share to take me home. They don’t think my father’s men will target the beta driver, but I still feel bad for putting him in danger, so I make sure to tip him extra well for the risk.

Staring up at the tan, stone building feels bittersweet. This was supposed to be Bea and I’s first taste of freedom. We should have been staying up late binge-watching TV shows and talking about work. Instead, I’ve spent the past three weeks in hiding. Alone.

Footsteps pound down the sidewalk behind me and I know my time is up. I can’t stay. I murmur a soft farewell to the dreams I’m leaving behind as strong arms wrap around my waist. A hand covers my mouth, muffling my scream. I bite down, using my limited energy to put up a decent enough fight to make my capture seem real.

I’m tossed into the dark interior of a metal van. I lunge for the doors but they slam closed before I can reach them. Exertion makes my chest heave, and I sink to the ground, unable to hold myself up any longer. Fuck, this isn’t good. I’m so tired already, but I can’t afford to fall asleep here. Crawling across the floor, I manage to sit myself upright in the corner.

My mind drifts as I cling to the side paneling, trying to force my body to stay upright and alert. Memories flicker around me. Cuddle piles on the massive bed at the back of Pack Graves bus. Sitting side by side with Nexus while we both put on our makeup for a trip into town. Nebula and Titan wedging me between them on their couch while they played video games.

The scents and sounds are so realistic I catch myself reaching out to touch them. But they aren’t here. They’ll never be here again. I’ll spend the rest of my short life alone with only my broken heart and the incessant pain radiating through my body to keep me company.

It’s okay. I know I deserve this. To be lost in the misery I created by lying to my pack. I’ll bear the weight of my failure as an omega and guarantee my sister and nieces are safe by destroying our father.

Maybe then Fate will relieve me of this burden.

Doors slam and I jerk awake. Shit, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. How much time has passed since they grabbed me outside of the apartment? Have we already made it to Whitlan? Panic threatens to consume me, my breaths turning ragged, but I shove the feeling aside. I need to save what little strength my rest has brought me.

Patting my chest, I sigh in relief when I feel the small one-inch square body camera Lukas and the other DAU agents had hidden in my jeans overalls. Unless he is specifically looking for it, my father shouldn’t be able to tell the device is there.

Hopefully. My entire plan hinges on capturing his confession on video.

The double doors at the back of the van swing open and blinding light filters into the dark space. I shield my eyes so I can see who awaits me on the other side, only for my heart to stop when I come face to face with my worst nightmare.

Doctor Harrison. New Hampshire’s Mad Scientist.

“Patient #1396. Sarah Montgomery. Omega.” He sneers my designation, his terrifying amber eyes dragging across my body with a cold calculation that ignites my instinctive urge to flee.

Not that I could escape now. The van is surrounded by my father’s followers, so there isn’t anywhere for me to run. Nausea churns violently in my stomach realizing exactly how dangerous of a position I’ve put myself in. I was prepared to face my father’s wrath, not to undergo whatever torture this mad man has designed.

One of the men, an older, pudgy beta, steps inside and grabs my upper arm. I’m dragged beneath a cloudy, starless sky. With the light from their flashlights focused away from me, I see my father’s church looming ahead. White siding covers its exterior with rich brown shutters to give the building a comforting feel, and a cross-bearing steeple towers above us, reaching toward Heaven. From the outside, it looks like any other place of worship. Peaceful and welcoming. Inside though…

My father may claim to speak for God, but this house is where the devil resides.

I can barely keep my feet from scraping across the ground as my captor forces me toward the door. My body isn’t cooperating the way it should. Heaviness weighs down my limbs and chest. Please just hang on for a little bit longer , I beg. I can’t let go now. Not when I’m so close to saving everyone.

The interior of the church has been rearranged, the pews pushed aside to make room for—I struggle against the men carrying me, my fight renewed when I see a medical table and an array of tools set up at the center of the room.

Fuck, I need to get out of here.

“The Lord has spoken. Whispered into my ears the list of your sins and deemed me responsible for deciding your punishment.”

My lungs seize when my father’s voice rings through the room. His men push me forward so suddenly I start to lose my balance. Thankfully, I manage to catch myself on the edge of one of the closer pews.

“You have strayed far from the path He created for you.” His footsteps grow louder as he gets closer to where I’m leaning. “Giving in to the blasphemous instincts your sins have created in your body. Fornicating outside of marriage, and with multiple partners. Slandering the name of his chosen servants. These are only the most grievous of your immoral actions. What a disappointment you’ve turned out to be.” He stalks from the shadowed pulpit to stand before me. Hatred burns in his eyes, his lips twisted into a sneer.

“Guard the entrance and ensure whatever pack she’s been lying with hasn’t tracked her down,” Father demands. His men are quick to follow his orders.

“So she returns. The abomination my wife birthed. A walking embodiment of sin.”

“It takes two to tango, Pastor ,” I spit. “So I carry your sinful DNA as equally as hers.”

“You will not speak unless spoken to.”

My head snaps to the side when his hand connects with my face and I’m tossed to the floor. Stars dot my vision when my skull connects with the hard surface and I have to bite down a whimper at the flood of pain in my already failing body. My legs burn as I force myself back to my feet, but I refuse to back down now.

I stumble a bit, feeling another piece of me slip away into oblivion. “I grew used to your abuse when I experienced it every day as a child. You have no control over me now. I will not be silenced. The world deserves to see the truth behind your charismatic facade.”

His fist connects with my stomach this time. The breath is knocked from my lungs and I fall to my knees. Pain radiates up my body from the fall, stealing what little oxygen I have left. Black dots swim in my vision as I try to force my lungs to work.

“You think you can destroy the kingdom I’ve built? An omega so weakened by her sins she can barely stand on her own two feet?” His hand digs into my hair, yanking at the long strands and forcing me to look up at him. “So disobedient. You, and your sister. Sneaking behind my back to collude with those pro-designation miscreants. Falling into a life of sin and trying to steal my power from me.”

His anger is suffocating in the air around us. It may not be as overpowering as an alpha’s anger, but my instincts still urge me to escape this treacherous situation.

“I’ve spent too long teaching others the truth about these vile designations to be derailed by a filthy omega.”

“You mean brainwashing them. Advocating for torture, mutilation, and rape. And for what reason? Jealousy because you were born a weak, powerless beta?”

My father slams my head down, the sound of it connecting with the floor is loud in the empty space. Blood coats the inside of my mouth from both my split lip and where I’ve bitten my tongue. I let the liquid seep to the floor. My injuries are inconsequential when he is playing right into my hand. Admitting all of his sins for the world to hear.

“I may have once been a simple beta, but no longer. The people of this church, they come to listen to me. They follow me. I hold the power, and I won’t let you and that silly organization dethrone me. I am their god now.”

“There is no god here, only a man pretending to be something he’s not. Your flock will see through your bullshit soon enough.” I choke out the words between heaving breaths only to have them stolen when he kicks my ribs and sends me rolling across the floor.

“They’ll never have a choice. For years Doctor Harrison has been dosing all of his heat and rut suppressors with a chemical mixture allowing for forced control of alpha or omega instincts. Even if they do realize I’ve been using them to expand my power base, all it will take is one dose of this drug in the air to bring them back into the fold. The same drug that has been pumping into this very room from the moment you arrived.”

A smile stretches across my face as his words ring throughout the building. My pain fades into the background. The peace I’ve been so desperately searching for is finally within reach.

I don’t fight when he kicks me onto my back. Even when they grab my arms and legs and lift me onto the table, I feel nothing but elation. Fingers dig into my jaw, forcing my attention to turn to where my father looms above me.

“Now is the time to start begging for forgiveness.” He drops his hold when I spit in his face, his disgust clear as he tries to rid himself of my contagious, sinful saliva.

My smile falls when I glance down to see the empty hole where my body cam was hidden. Oh well. I’ve done enough. All I can do now is hope the world was able to see my father for the power-hungry liar he truly is.

The Pastor slides onto the bench of a pew angled in our direction, his eyes glued to me. Movement at my side draws my attention. I flinch when I see Doctor Harrison standing above me, too late to react when he locks the straps on the table over my legs and upper chest.

“The drug currently circulating in the air, its chemical formula came from the dissection of an alpha's voice box.” He says, his gloved fingers tracing up my throat to a spot below my chin. “They have a gland growing right along the vocal cords which produces the compound needed for a bark to be effective.”

He pulls his instrument tray closer, inspecting the tools before turning back to face me, a pair of scissors in his hand. “At first I tried removing the gland completely, but those abominations grew back.” He moves his fingers to the side of my neck and up to where my scent gland is. “It was easy to theorize the compound could be weaponized the same as an omega’s scent. By combining it with the chemical in an omega’s scent glands, the one allowing their perfume to become potent during a heat, I was able to render alpha barks ineffective.”

He begins to cut up the center of my t-shirt. The metal bites into my skin but the feeling is muted. Like I’m not inside of my body anymore.

“I’ve been attempting to manufacture an artificial version of both chemicals, but so far we have been unsuccessful.” He continues, his amber eyes meeting mine after my shirt has been destroyed. “I can see the question in your eyes. If we can’t manufacture the chemicals, how are we able to create the drug we’re using to force your submission?”

A smile so vile stretches across his lips that my heart tries to beat its way out of my chest. Terror the likes of which I’ve never experienced before skitters across my skin, raising the hairs along my arms.

“We get them straight from the source.” I watch as he grabs a scalpel from the tray but quickly turn my attention away from the madman before he turns back to me.

The first rays of light from a new day are peeking over the horizon. Their beams shine through the stained glass windows and cast the ceiling of my hell into a rainbow of color. My mind registers a commotion outside but the thought drifts away before I can latch onto it. The world around me slips away. A hazy, fuzzy feeling sinks into my bones and eases the weariness I’ve carried since my mates rejected me.

With a shuddering breath, darkness beckons me, its arms spread wide in a welcoming embrace.

I’m free.