Chapter Twenty-Eight

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Now Playing: Be O.K.- Letdown. & L?L?

Nexus groans on top of me, his forehead pressed to my temple. His hips still move in small jerks that send jolts of pleasure rattling up my spine. Instinct takes over and I lean down, biting above his collarbone.

Emotions roll through me so quickly I can barely decipher them. It’s overwhelming at first, but as the bond between us starts to settle it feels like the comforting anchor I always imagined. If I focus hard enough it’s almost like I can feel the beat of his heart inside my own chest.

“Thank you, gorgeous,” he murmurs, his voice tinged with awe. He carefully turns us onto our sides. His knot is still swollen deep inside of me, a feeling more intense than I ever imagined. When he helped me through the heat in Boston I was too lost to the haze to remember most of what happened, but tonight will be burned into my memory forever. The stretch of him entering me. His deep, breathy moans. Endless, burning hot pleasure from being locked together.

How did I ever go so long without being knotted? I could happily live the rest of my life with a knot locked inside of me.

“You need more, sweet girl?” Nexus asks with a chuckle. My head tilts as I look up at him. More what? “I can feel your arousal in the bond.”

“Oh,” I whisper back. Warmth floods my cheeks as I realize how intense a bond really is. He’ll feel everything. Every time I find something they do attractive. If they feel all of this while they perform–

“We’ll teach you to mute the bond,” Callisto reassures me. I glance over my shoulder to see him sitting on the bed behind us. His face is as flushed as my own as he glances around the room. My poor beta doesn’t know what to do with himself.

His eyes fall on the pictures he had printed for me and he sits up a little straighter. Those dual-toned eyes flick back to me. “I’d love to cuddle you now, Starlight.”

Pride pulses through my heart and my alpha’s. He promised he was going to work on putting his own wants and desires first, so hearing him ask for something he wants without worrying about our wants first is great. Like the moment before Nexus started to eat me out, I hold my hand toward Callisto.

With him pressed to my back and Nexus against my front, I feel tethered in a way I haven’t in… well, ever. When we would cuddle in a pile on their bus or at a hotel during the tour, I could feel the potential, but it wasn’t nearly as developed as it is now. Maybe that’s because I can faintly feel the thread of Nexus and Callisto’s bond?

My eyes flutter closed, my body relaxing between them. I’m tired in the best way. Worn out from physical activity and not from the effects of the rejection. Though I imagine the lack of a second round is most likely from the strain on my body. One day soon, I hope I get to find out what it is like to have mates and not be one misstep away from an early grave.

Sensing the dark turn of my thoughts, a purr rattles to life in Nexus’ chest. My already relaxed body goes boneless as the soft noise vibrates through me. It’s like omega melatonin. Cal’s long fingers gently comb through my hair, soothing me further. Between the two of them, I stand no chance of fighting to stay awake.

Starting to wake some time later, I roll to the side seeking one of my mates. I bolt upright when my arm hits the empty bed, sending a spike of panic through my system. My eyes dart around the room, anxiety building as I realize it is empty. I’m alone. They left–

The door connecting the next to the master bathroom bursts open, bouncing off the wall loudly. “Shit,” Nexus swears. He stumbles into the room with a pair of sweatpants pulled halfway up his thighs. Concerned mocha eyes fly over my body. “Gorgeous, what happened?”

I try to fight back the swell of emotion crashing over me, but the tears fall anyway. Burying my face in my hands I muffle the relieved sobs caused by my hysteria. Nexus swears again, this time the sound is filled with remorse. The mattress dips as he crawls across and pulls me into his arms.

I don’t know why I tried to hide the physical expression of my emotions when he can clearly feel them through our bond.

“I’m here,” he whispers tightly. “I’ll always be right here.” His thumb brushes over his bond mark on my throat. He repeats the promise over and over, rocking me gently as I break.

“S-sorry,” I whisper when the tears have stopped.

“No apologies, gorgeous. Your fear is valid. I abandoned you once, it’s going to take more than a few weeks to convince you it won’t happen again.” He sighs, settling us back against a pile of pillows. My legs fall to either side of his hips, and my cheek presses against his chest. The rapid beat of his heart in my ear helps to settle the remaining anxiety inside of me. “I would have waited until you woke up but I had to piss so bad I thought I would wet the bed. This mattress cover may be waterproof, but I’d rather not embarrass myself by testing it.”

“Where’s Callisto?” I ask after a few moments of silence.

“Downstairs. His parents called. Tonight is their monthly video check-in. He’ll be back as soon as they’re finished.”

It feels silly to be so worked up over them leaving the room, but trauma expresses itself in unimaginable ways. And I can’t pretend like Pack Graves walking away from me the first time wasn’t traumatizing in its own way. This is probably something I’ll need to bring up during my next therapy appointment.

“Would you like to get a shower? Maybe rinse off then get in the bath?”

I hum thoughtfully, taking a minute to check in with myself. Physically, not much has changed. I can feel Nexus through our bond, but otherwise, all of the pain and weakness from the chemical rejection is still there. My muscles are a little sore. Between my legs is too, but that’s from hot sex and not a life threatening disease.

Mentally, it’s like the layers of depression and sorrow clouding my mind have been lifted. Not that my fears have magically disappeared. They just seem easier to handle now.

“A bath would be nice,” I finally reply. Soaking will help the aches in my body and give me time to process the thoughts crowding my head.

Nexus shuffles us to the edge of the bed and carries me into the massive master bathroom. He sits me on the long, triple-sink vanity to wait for the shower to warm up. I swing my legs, enjoying the cool feel of the granite against my skin. Small bruises and hickeys litter my chest and hips. Reminding me this isn't another heat dream. He stayed this time.

I’m not sure yet how I feel about being bonded to them all. Nebula specifically. There are big issues the two of us need to resolve before I will feel confident enough to trust the bond between us. Did he bond me because his instincts forced him to? Or is the hunger I sometimes see in his eyes real?

“Let’s get you cleaned off.” Nexus interrupts my overthinking brain. I keep my hand in his and let him drag me beneath the warm spray.

Turning the temperature up, I enjoy the feeling of the spray against my skin. It’s probably demonically hot for my alpha mate, but he doesn’t complain. He’s methodical as he washes my hair with a new bottle of shampoo. It smells faintly of the vanilla I usually use, but based on the personalized bottle I imagine he ordered me a mix specifically for my hair type. Something he’s done for all of us based on the matching bottles lined up on the shelf.

The bathroom door opens and closes as the conditioner is rinsing from my hair. Water starts to run before soft cedar joins Nexus’ warm amber and my sunflower scent in the air. “Can I join you in the bath starlight?” Callisto asks.

I offer him a shaky smile and nod. He grips my elbow to steady me as I walk across the bathroom floor to the giant tub. I step inside first, sinking into the hot water with a happy groan. How does he always manage to set it to the perfect temperature?

Callisto sits back, pulling me to lean against his chest. He’s held me like this nearly every day for the past two weeks. Soaking and letting me relax without worrying about falling asleep and accidentally slipping beneath the water. My favorite part is listening to him softly sing to me. A personal preview of all the songs from their upcoming album sung for my ears alone.

“I’m going to make us something to eat,” Nexus tells me as he leans down to press a messy kiss to my lips.

“I think Nebula had something planned, so ask him first,” Cal advises before accepting a kiss of his own from our alpha.

When he pulls away, Nexus grins widely at the two of us. “You make quite the sight curled up together, my sweet mates. I could bask in your beauty for eternity and still wish to engrave your image on my mind. Enjoy your bath, I’ll be back to collect you when food is ready.”

We both watch as he leaves, entranced by his bubbly butt swaying with each step. The man has an ass you want to sink your teeth into. When twin sighs fall from our lips as the door closes behind him, we both giggle. “We’re lucky to have such a sexy Alpha to parade around in tight gray joggers for us,” Cal jokes.

I hum my agreement as he reaches to shut off the water. We don’t want to overflow the tub and have a huge mess to clean up later. Settled back against the edge, he starts to massage the tension from my back. He works slowly but thoroughly, moving from my back to my shoulders and down my arms.

“Will you sing for me?” I ask when he gets to my hands. A groan follows my question as he hits a particularly rough spot on my palm.

“Of course I will, starlight. Any requests tonight?”

“Surprise me.”

His hands settle across my stomach as I melt against him. I love feeling the vibration of him singing against my back. In a way it’s like his very own purr, turning me into a puddle of relaxed omega.

The world floats around us as I get lost in his music. With each sorrowful note, I start to realize I’ve already forgiven him. It may seem like it’s too soon with the damage their abandonment caused, but Callisto has been relentless in showing me how much he cares for me.

And honestly, now that I can see things clearly again, I understand his decision to stick by Nebula’s side. They’re bonded so he could feel all of Nebula’s pain. His anger. Sometimes we have to prioritize those who are hurting the most, and for Callisto that was his alpha, not the omega claiming to belong to them.

It was easy to forget I played a role in what happened when I couldn’t look past the pain in my body and my broken heart. I hid my connection to them, letting my fear control me the same as theirs did. We are all to blame for what happened between us.

Twisting around, I prop myself on Cal’s chest, arms wrapped around his neck so I can watch his stunning face. He startles, hands jumping to my waist to steady me. “Starlight?” His eyes dart down to my lips and further still, taking in the way my breasts press against his bare chest.

Words of forgiveness clog my throat, so I press my lips to his hoping he can feel them in the soft swipes. A full-body sigh passes through him as he kisses me back. There’s no urgency, no pressure to take things further. He lets me guide us, his mouth pliant when I tease my tongue along his bottom lip.

His woodsy, slightly floral scent leaks heavier into the air around us creating the most soothing aromatherapy.

I slow our kiss until I’m breathless and panting against him. He whimpers when I shift to lay my head against his shoulder, my thighs brushing his hard length beneath the water. I could easily sink down onto him and ease his need, but I hesitate. I’m already sore and exhausted, pushing myself right now might not be the best idea.

A knock at the bathroom door interrupts us before I can decide either way. Nexus opens it a few inches and peeks through, a giddy smile on his face. “Dinner is almost done.”

I offer Callisto a shy smile as he helps me out of the bathtub, one he returns with slightly pink cheeks. “Thank you, Cal. For helping me take care of myself when I couldn’t find the strength to do so.”

His palm is warm against my cheek as he tilts my face up to his. Those blue and green eyes stare down at me with an intensity I’m not used to seeing from the bashful beta. “It’s my honor to be able to catch you when you fall, starlight. I’ll always be your safety net.”