Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

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Watching Bea collapse to her knees, a heartbreaking scream tearing from her lips, sends panic skittering across my body. When Nexus rushes after them, my concern grows.

I turn to look at Titan and Nebula where they stand several feet away, talking to some of the other bands. Their eyes are creased with worry as they track Nexus’ journey toward the elevator.

Shaking myself out of the shock Bea’s scream caused, I quickly close the distance between me and my alpha mate. I step to his side, Nebula and Titan on my heels, just as the elevator doors close on Bea’s tear-stained face.

My stomach sinks, a sense of foreboding makes me queasy. It’s the shattering panic in Nexus’ bond that grounds me.

“What’s going on, Nexus?” Nebula asks gruffly, but his question goes unanswered. As do mine and Titan’s.5

It’s only when Titan grabs Nexus’ arms, forcing him to turn to look at us, that he speaks. His brown eyes are trained on Titan’s hands where he’s still gripping his arms. “A pen, I need a pen.”

Brady produces one from his pocket and passes it over, worry lining his face as he watches Nexus scramble to write on his arm. A tense silence surrounds us, drowning out the whispers of the rest of the room, as we watch him send one frantic message after the other.

Minutes pass, and there is no response. No warm summery energy courses over our skin. No words appear on the remaining empty spaces on Nexus’ skin.

I feel the moment he gives in to his panic, his bond flooding with a sorrow so deep it lashes across my heart and steals the breath from my lungs. Tears slip down his cheeks, and he collapses. Titan barely manages to catch him, gently carrying them both to the hard floor. His sobs shake their bodies, making Titan hold him tighter. Trying to hold him together long enough to find out what happened.

I step to their side, my hands trembling as I slowly grab Nexus’ arm and extend it far enough for us to read the words he scribbled there. Each message sends pain lancing through me, their growing intensity adding to the sensation. He’s questioning whether Omen is alive, begging her to answer him.

“What…” I trail off, eyes flicking up to where sobs still rip from Nexus’ lips and realize we won’t be getting answers any time soon.

Nebula steps behind Nexus, his jaw tense and his eyes hard, but he doesn’t say anything. He slips his hands beneath Nexus’ arms and carefully lifts him into his arms. Titan pushes off the floor, his eyes glued to where our mate is curling in on himself.

We wait for the elevator to return, Nebula whispering with Brady behind us. He’s making plans for us to go home. Staying on the bus for the trip back to New York would be too much for our devastated mate. Maybe for all of us, given the pressure weighing on all of our shoulders tonight.

Halfway through our flight back to New York, Nexus finally finds enough coherency to tell us what happened back at the party. Hearing Omen’s safe house was compromised, and not knowing if she made it out okay, has put us all in a solemn mood. Even Nebula seems tenser than usual.

Rolling over, I barely manage to suppress a sigh when I spy Nexus sitting on a chair by the edge of the bed. He’s staring down at his phone screen, unblinking while he waits for news of Omen’s escape. So far we’ve heard nothing, not even a simple text confirming she’s still alive.

Ridley told Nex he would reach out when he learned anything, but who knows how long that will take. Or if he will follow through on his promise after everything that has happened between us and Omen. If I were him I wouldn’t bother to share the information. We haven’t earned the peace her safety would bring us.

It’s easy to look back and regret your actions, owning up to them and making the changes necessary to earn forgiveness is an entirely different journey.

I never should have placed my bonded mate’s needs over hers. She deserved a chance to explain, and my inaction stole that from her. If she survives, I want to listen. To understand why she hid so much of herself, why she hid our connection.

Letting my promises for the future slip to the back of my mind, I refocus on my listless mate. I’ve never seen him look so broken. Darkness shadows his eyes and stubble covers his face. He hasn’t touched a single product on his shelf in the bathroom since we returned from our show in Los Angeles. My alpha is falling apart. Blaming himself for leaving Omen behind after her heat.

Watching him break down last night, feeling his sobs as he gave in to the fear and pessimistic thoughts, broke me in ways I hadn’t ever considered possible. My heart feels raw and rough like someone took sandpaper to it.

We’re all bleeding internally from a wound that may never heal, even if my other mates won’t admit it out loud.

Slipping off our bed, I’m determined to find some way to distract him. My feet have barely touched the floor when the door opens and Nebula steps inside. He’s sweat-soaked and shirtless from his morning run. A pulse of desire fills our bond but flutters away only seconds later. None of us can feed those flames when we’re so worried for our mate and our girl.

“Put the phone down Nex,” Nebula growls. He stomps over and tosses the device onto the bed. His fingers grip Nexus’ jaw, digging in hard enough to dent his skin. “I refuse to sit here any longer watching you suffocate beneath the weight of your guilt. What happened to Omen’s safe house isn’t your fault.”

Nexus tries to shake him off but Nebula only holds tighter. Forcing our mate to meet his gaze. “I know it isn’t my fault. That doesn’t change the fact we don’t even know if she managed to escape. I don’t know if my omega is fucking alive or dead, Nebula, so forgive me for not giving a shit about anything else!”

“You can be worried about her and still take care of yourself at the same time.”

Nexus jumps to his feet, his hands slamming against Nebula’s chest and forcing the bigger alpha back several inches. “You don’t get to tell me how to deal with my feelings, especially not when you’re acting like an unsympathetic asshole. Just because you couldn’t give a shit less about our omega’s life, that doesn’t mean the rest of us are as emotionless.”

I can feel both of them growing annoyed with the other in our bonds. They’ve been like this since we got home. Volatile and quick to lash out at each other.

It isn’t healthy.

For them, or for me.

“Nebula, you are being too pushy,” I snap. My own frustration with my alpha makes my tone harsher than I intended. “We are allowed to be afraid for Omen. As much as you want to deny it, she is our Fate matched omega. The pull between us is still there, and our instincts are not taking the news of the attack on her well. If our worry makes you uncomfortable, that is something you have to learn to deal with on your own.”

“I’m not–”

“You are,” Nexus grunts, collapsing back into his chair with an expression that is somehow even more defeated than several moments ago.

Glancing between the two of them, I realize the only thing that will make this better is space. A single text is all it takes to work out a place for us to stay for a few days. Not that I had any doubts Nexus’ parents wouldn’t agree. They will be thrilled to host the two of us for a while. Any chance to spoil their youngest son is enough for them.

Stepping into our shared closet, I grab two duffel bags and start to pack enough clothes to last the rest of the week. Phones, chargers, clothes, necessities, my music folder… I go through the checklist twice. Making sure we aren’t missing anything irreplaceable for the trip.

I sigh in relief when I step back into the bedroom and hear the shower running. I can’t handle the two of them fighting again. It will destroy the already fragile hold I have on my emotions.

Titan wanders in and catches sight of me. He raises an eyebrow my way before helping pile all of Nexus’ clothes into his bag. “Momma Corinne?” he asks, smiling when I confirm that’s where we are going. “Good. Let her take care of him until we figure out where to go next. I’ll stay here with Nebula and make sure he doesn’t do anything too reckless.”

We are all lucky to have Nexus’ family to support us. With Titan and Nebula both having no contact with their parents and my distant relationship with mine, we would be alone without Momma Corinne and her mates. They’re always there to cheer us on, celebrating every little goal we reach, and comforting us when things don’t go the way we’d hoped. Heading to Tennessee to stay with them will be exactly what our sweet alpha mate needs.

Setting the bags aside I slip my arms around my giant mate and bury my face against his chest. His pink pepper and leather scent soaks into me, stealing a tiny bit of my tension. “I love you,” I mumble.

His chin rests on the top of my head and his arms hold me tighter. “I love you too, babyboy.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips before heading to where Nexus still sits in his chair.

Sadness seeps into my heart as I watch him persuade our mate to get up and into clean clothes. The next few days are going to be difficult for all of us. I can only hope we hear news of our omega soon before the cracks in our foundation grow too wide to repair.

Our bags are packed and sitting by the front door when Nebula finishes his shower. He’s towel-drying his hair but freezes when he sees me standing with keys in my hand. “Cal?”

My name holds all of his uncertainty, his hurt. I know leaving will cut him deeply. After his parents abandoned him to their grief, he’s held tightly to everyone he loves, afraid they too would leave him behind.

But right now he can’t be my priority. I’m not saying goodbye forever, just for a few days.

“Nex and I are traveling back to Tennessee to see our parents.”

“Since when?” The hurt is clear to see in my alpha’s eyes, but I don’t back down. Right now my needs come first. I always support the three of them, even to my own detriment. Not today.

“Since now. Nexus needs his family to pull him out of this spiral he’s in. And I need space to deal with things on my own too.” My voice wavers as the misery I’ve been concealing surfaces.

Wave after wave of the skin crawling, heart pounding, headache-inducing emotion pounds into me and down my bonds to reach my mates. Nebula stumbles beneath the weight of it, his tanzanite eyes wide. I’m tired of pretending. Of shoving my feelings aside to try to maintain the peace between them. I’m hurting and scared too. I deserve the same chance to sit in my emotions.

“Cal-”

“I’m sorry Nebula, but you aren’t going to change my mind,” I speak the words with finality. “We’ll be back in a few days. A week maybe.”

He’s resigned as he nods. His shoulders slumping and his heartache evident. “Alright.” Closing the distance between us I press a kiss to his cheek and hug him tight. I don’t linger though, worried his needs will once again overcome my own.

Ushering Nexus out of our apartment door, I leave my other mates to face the fallout of the growing rift between us.

“You look fuckin’ tired, big brother!” Jackon’s voice rings through the park we’re meeting at. He’s always been the outspoken extrovert to my nervous introvert. Never afraid to set boundaries and bring attention to his own needs or desires.

I’ve always slightly envied his ability to be so sure of himself. So fearless in speaking up for himself. Something I’ve never found easy.

“I am,” I admit. We’ve only been back in Tennessee for a day, most of which I’ve spent at Momma Corinne’s house watching her try to bring some life back into her son’s eyes. “Things are… rough.”

“Life on tour wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, huh?” He sits down on the empty chair beside me. He’s a few inches taller than I am so his feet jut out over the edge of the small lake I’d chosen to fish in this afternoon. Not that it seems to bother him.

“The tour was great. A little crazy at times but nothing we couldn’t handle.” I hand him a spare pole I borrowed from Nexus’ parent’s house and sit the box of bait between us. We won’t be catching anything record-worthy here, but it will be relaxing to get lost in the process.

“So if the tour wasn’t shit, what happened?” Jack threads his bait around the hook before carefully casting his line out in the opposite direction as mine. His dark green eyes turn to me, an understanding written there that makes my heart stutter. “Cause let’s be honest Colt, you wouldn’t be back in Dickson if you weren’t runnin’ from somethin’.”

My nose scrunches hearing him call me by my birth name. He’s one of the only people who still use it, something I’d forgotten until now. Colton Ellis has been buried beneath the mask I wear as Callisto Graves for a long time now.

“We met our omega,” I admit. My eyes stay trained on the pond’s surface where my line bobs in the water. “Then everything fell apart and now we’re all barely hanging on.”

“Well shit, that certainly doesn’t sound like the fairytale you dreamed up when we were kids.” His line snags on something in the water and he quiets while he untangles it and reels it in so he can recast. “Did she leave you or somethin’?”

“No. Nothing like that.” I tell him everything. Finally venting all of my built-up frustration.

I’m tired of surrounding myself with men who adamantly refuse to accept their feelings and allow us all to start to heal. How can Nebula not see the reality of Omen’s identity? She may have been born Sarah Montgomery, that doesn’t mean she’s chosen to live her life following in her vile family’s footsteps. Her photography for the DAU is clear evidence of her active support of pro-pack and pro-designation efforts. It’s been clear from the moment we met her that our girl is a Powell through and through.

Jack whistles when I finish my rant. “That’s one fucked up situation ya’ll have found yourself in.”

“It gets worse.” I swear his eyes get even wider, almost comically so. “Her safe house was compromised and now we don’t know what’s happened to her.”

“Like you don’t know if she escaped or if they caught her?”

“Or if she’s dead,” I whisper.

“Fuck, Colt. I mean you’d know wouldn’t ya? If she was dead you’d be able to feel it in that connection ya’ll have.”

I stare at my little brother, suddenly feeling like an idiot. We’ve been so lost in our fear and worry we never stopped to consider our Fated connection with her wouldn’t work at all if she was gone.

He gives me a shit-eating grin. “And you always say you’re smarter than me.”

“I am smarter than you Mr. All-C’s.”

He laughs and shrugs, unbothered by my teasing. He is a smart kid, but he never put his all into school because he knew what he wanted to do from a young age. Being a firefighter was his childhood aspiration, and he quickly made his dream a reality after graduating high school. His career suits him, as it’s something he genuinely loves doing.

“I’m proud of you, Jackson. I hope you know that.”

“I know. I’m proud of us too. We’ve both made it good, haven’t we?” He smiles lazily, leaning back in his seat and tilting his ball cap to block his eyes.

Everything feels a little lighter sitting here beneath the early August sun with my brother at my side. For at least a little while, I don’t feel like a letdown.

The sun is descending below the horizon when Jackson calls it a night and heads out. I stay at the lake a while longer, watching the last rays of light disappear and letting myself feel everything I’ve kept buried for the past few weeks. My anger and fear. The worry for Omen and my pack.

Most shockingly of all, love. I never admitted the depth of my feelings for Omen out loud, but I should have. She should know she’s carrying a piece of my heart with her.

I’m going to tell her. She deserves my admission, even if our actions have cut her so deeply we’ll never truly be able to atone for them. Taking the pen I slipped into my tackle box, I use the ink to pour all of my feelings onto my skin.

With each letter, I focus on the sunshine scent of Omen’s skin. The soft feel of her lips pressed against mine. Her eyes lit up with laughter. I will my words to reach her and soothe even the most minuscule piece of the hurt our absence has caused her.

‘When you are ready

For the wounds I caused to heal

I’ll speak the words I left unspoken

Forever bound to your orbit

My existence is yours

This heart and this body

Are at your command

-Callisto’

I don’t wait for a response because I don’t think she’s ready to accept our feelings or apologies. Instead, I pack up my things and begin the drive back to Nexus’ parent’s house. My sweet alpha needs the same reassurance my brother was able to give me.