Chapter Twelve

CHAPTER TWELVE

Now Playing: Take Me First- Bad Omens

Walking into the green room after the Candy Courage concert, my soul fragmented. The signs of Omen’s Rejected Omega Syndrome were frightfully understated when we’d seen her on TV. Nothing could have ever prepared me to see my sweet girl so gaunt and lifeless.

As soon as I laid eyes on her, I knew I’d never be able to forgive myself for the suffering I caused her. An eternity on my knees begging for her forgiveness still won’t be enough to make up for walking away from her. My mistakes are scars on both our hearts, reminders whispering to us in the dark when our thoughts are at their rawest.

Two days have passed since we saw her, and I still feel like pieces of me are being torn off, little by little. It’s agony being away from her when I know how much she’s hurting, but we have to respect her decisions regardless of how much they suck.

We fucked up, we have to own it and allow her to choose what happens next.

I’m terrified she’s going to push us away. That she’ll think our crimes against her are unforgivable. As much as I love my mates, I don’t know if I could survive in a world without Omen, and that’s exactly what we will face if she decides to reject us. The Rejected Omega Syndrome will claim her life and she’ll join Elizabeth in whatever paradise rejected omegas go to.

Though I’m not sure how Omen has ROS to begin with. We may have walked away, but none of us truly rejected her. The process usually involves a verbal severing of the tie between both parties, which never happened with our girl. I’ve researched the limited information available about the disease, but no one seems to have a solid answer for me.

In the pack bathroom, I’m unpacking a box of self-care products when I hear Nebula’s phone ring in the other room. I drop the bottles in my hands and rush to the doorway, hoping it’s our girl.

My mate’s brows are furrowed, his muscles stiff as he listens to whoever is on the line. Anger and worry flood his bond before quickly being replaced by a hope so fierce it threatens to steal my breath.

“They are right here, hold on,” Nebula says before waving us over. We all sit on the bed, listening as he switches the call to speaker.

“Hello Pack Graves.” A rough, older man’s voice fills the air between us. “My name is Donovan Griffith.” Oh, that makes sense. He’s one of the higher ups in the DAU. Foster and Shepherd have both mentioned him over the years, so I guess he’s an okay guy. “As I was explaining to Nebula, last night someone attempted to break into the apartment Omen and Bea Powell share. For their safety, we are temporarily relocating them.”

Anger explodes through all of our bonds hearing someone is threatening our omega. Hasn’t she been through enough? Why do these assholes keep coming after her?

“You aren’t going to set them up in a safe house?” Callisto asks skeptically.

“Unfortunately, our resources here at the DAU are spread thin with everything happening in the Northeast. Even if we could assign bodyguards to them, isolation with strangers isn’t what Omen needs.”

His voice turns stern, almost biting, when he continues speaking. “The four of you broke something in her that no omega should experience, especially not one with Omen’s history. As much as I hate to say it, you are also the only ones who can fix her. I’ve spoken extensively with her doctor and she agrees sending Omen to your pack home will be the most productive for her health.”

“She will always be welcome here,” Titan grunts.

“Let’s make sure she feels welcome this time,” Donovan counters, sending a wave of regret through each of us. Nebula tells him about our new home and the security features we recently installed, and the two of them work out a plan for Omen to arrive later today.

Hearing the shortened timeline, I hurry back to the bathroom to finish unpacking. If my sweet girl is coming home, everything needs to be perfect for her.

I find Nebula in the kitchen a short while later, flour covering the counters and dirty pans everywhere. Callisto stands in the doorway, pinching the bridge of his nose. Frustration bleeds down his bond. Sneaking around him, I grab a sheet of paper from our grocery list and turn to find a pen.

“What are you doing Nexus?” Cal asks with a groan.

Wide-eyed, I glance at him over my shoulder. “Our girl is going to need snacks.”

“You three are going to make me lose my mind. We can place a large grocery order after we give Omen time to adjust to staying here. She doesn’t react well when we spend money on her, remember?” My lip juts out in a pout, but my beta just narrows his eyes. “Here’s what is going to happen: Nebula is going to clean up the disaster he’s turned our kitchen into.”

Nebula grumbles beneath his breath as he piles dirty dishes beside the sink. Flour coats his shirt and streaks across his cheek. If I didn’t feel the fear in his bond I would tease him about it.

“Nexus, you are going to go help Titan unpack the rest of our clothes in the closet. We need the blankets sorted out so Omen can choose whichever ones she’d like to use in the nest.” Callisto takes the pen and paper from my hands, returning them to the drawer where I found them. “Go.”

Turning around, I adjust myself as I leave to find Titan. Bossy Callisto is way hotter than I ever could have imagined. Maybe I can convince him to turn that energy on me next time we feel up to getting frisky in the bedroom.

“Did Cal scold you too?” Titan huffs out a laugh when he sees my drooping shoulders and pouty expression. He’s digging through one of the large boxes the moving company had brought up. Clothes are already sorted into piles around him, so I step closer and start finding homes for everything.

“Yes. I was going to order our girl some snacks, but he shut that idea down.” Titan hands me a pile of throw blankets that are soaked in our combined scents, so I sit them on a chair in the corner. We don’t want them to get lost in this mess.

“He’s making sure we focus on what needs done and not going overboard on silly things. He caught me going out back to sweep the patio. Apparently clearing the leaves and debris there is not a priority.”

“I just want everything to be perfect for her. This is the dream home we created for us to share with our omega.” My head thuds against the closet wall as I stare down at the dark hardwood floors. “What if she doesn’t want to stay after they catch whoever tried to break into her apartment?”

Titan’s arms wrap around me, the weight of his body easing some of my growing anxiety. He doesn’t respond to my question because the truth is, there isn’t anything we can do to force her to stay. Our only option is to show her how much we want her here and hope it isn’t too late for us to fix things.

Omen

Waking up in Donovan’s house is disorienting. The blinding sunlight and unfamiliar scent of his cleaning products make my skin crawl. My head spins when I force myself to sit up, a side effect of both the rejection and my lack of sleep last night. Deep steadying breaths slowly bring the room back into focus.

A large part of me wants to crawl back into the weird-smelling bed and sleep the day away, but what’s left of my logic reminds me we need to see where Bea and I will be staying for the rest of the week.

Changing into a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, I make my way across the house. Noise from the living room tells me where everyone is before I try to search for them.

Catty corner from where Donovan and his mate share a large sofa, Bea sits cross-legged on an armchair. Her high-waisted, wide-leg jeans are printed with daisies and match her flowy white crop top perfectly. How she only slept for four hours and manages to look like a boho goddess, I’ll never know.

All three of them look up when I enter the room, offering me smiles or nods. I slide onto the empty chair across from them and accept the bottle of water Donovan produces. His mate Natasha playfully rolls her eyes when he refuses to speak until I’ve finished the whole thing.

While Bea looks up to the women of Candy Courage, I idolize Natasha. The beta woman is tall, closer to six feet, with messy, dark red curls and a badass vibe I one day hope to emulate. She’s almost always rocking a leather jacket and badass boots when we see her.

“I’m going to cut through all the bullshit and be honest,” Donovan says, drawing my attention away from his mate. Natasha winks, she knows I look up to her because I’ve admitted it several times over the years we’ve known each other.

“Okay?” I question, glancing at Bea who looks pissed. I have a feeling wherever we are going, I’m not going to like it.

“I spoke with Doctor Russell this morning, and she hasn’t found any other ways for you to combat the chemical rejection.”

My shoulders sink, but I’m not shocked. This was the outcome I expected from her research. In my heart, I’ve known from the start my only chance of survival lies with my former Fate matched mates.

“With this new threat to your safety, she also agreed it would be best for your health if you stay with Pack Graves.”

“I– You–” I stutter to find the words to express how I’m feeling. Part of me feels betrayed by his insistence I stay with the very mates who caused my chemical rejection, but the reasonable part of me knows this is the best course of action.

“They hurt you, and you have every right to be angry with them for how they reacted to finding out who your birth family is, but I won’t stand by and watch you slowly wither away when they want to try to fix things.” His voice is firm and unyielding, but his eyes are filled with concern and fear. Donovan views me as family as much as the Powells do, and my declining health is hurting him too.

Which is why I cave without argument, even though I’m terrified of what will happen there.

He nods, a bit of relief flowing across his face before he pushes to his feet to make a few calls and get everything in order for us to leave. Natasha trails after him, promising lunch after we gather our bags from upstairs.

I collapse against the back of the chair and let my head flop to the side so I can look at my bestie. Her midnight blue eyes meet mine and she sighs. “This is one clusterfuck of bullshit, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” I snort out a laugh, “at least you aren’t going to be trapped in a house with the mates who rejected you.”

She scowls at my nonchalance, still pissed at their behavior. “Give them hell, Oms. They want your forgiveness? Another chance to win your heart? Make them earn it. I’m talking crawling across the floor to meet your every whim and desire.”

“We’ll see,” I murmur with a shake of my head. She stands and offers me a hand, which I gratefully take. Standing on my own two feet takes some work. “Wait, where are you going? I don’t think Donovan mentioned that while I was down here.”

Bea pauses a few feet away and peers back at me. “He’s sending me to stay with Shiloh. Like that’s what I really need when I’m already stressed out. Forced proximity with my grumpy, asshole boss.”

I try to muffle my laughter, but I know I’ve failed when she flips me off behind her back. I imagine my best friend is going to be pushing his buttons as much as he does hers. Soon enough they’ll be living out their own employer-employee romcom.

“I can hear your comedic thoughts from here, and that is not happening. He’s going to learn how annoying this omega can be,” she smirks before she steps into the room she stayed in. I just shake my head at her denial and grab my bag from where it still sits untouched by the foot of the bed.

As we climb into Donovan’s car a few hours later, nerves start to unsettle my stomach. I don’t know if I’m ready to face the men who shattered my heart. I know they said they messed up, that they want to fix things between us, but I can’t shake the fear this sudden desire to reunite only stems from their sense of guilt over my declining health.

Sighing, I lean my head against the window and watch upstate New York fly by. If I want to survive, I have to face them eventually. It might as well happen now.

We drop Bea in Starburgh at the penthouse apartment Mr. Acherley owns. His jaw was already ticking as she kicked off her shoes and tossed aside her bag like she owns the place. I give them a day before the tension between them snaps and he takes her over his knee. He seems like the brat-taming type.

Thoroughly distracted, the drive to Pack Graves’ house passes quickly. I thought they had an apartment in the city, like Bea and I do, but apparently, they live in a house by one of the local lakes.

The sun is starting to sink as we turn down their driveway, casting the surrounding forest in shadows. It’s kind of eerie, but also dreamy in an otherworldly type of way.

We round a small bend, and the house comes into view. I study its exterior with wide eyes. The dark stone walls are weathered with age. Deep green vines creep up several corners, making it seem as if it's being reabsorbed by nature. In the distance behind the house, I can see glimpses of the lake reflected in the evening light.

I’m already in love with their house and I haven’t seen a single piece of its interior yet.

My joy over the wondrous building fades when Donovan pulls to a stop by their front door and I see the men of Primordial Covenant waiting for me. A thundering beat starts in my chest as my eyes roam over the four men who once owned my heart. They’re all dressed in sweats or athletic wear, except for Nexus who is still wearing his usual skinny jeans and silky button-up combo. Tonight his shirt is decorated with silver and purple metallic roses.

The splash of color tugs at the corner of my lips, but I can’t bring myself to fully smile. Not when fear pulses so heavily through my body. Being here with them could save me or break me completely, and I’m not sure which way I want things to go.

Donovan opens my door, helping me out of the car before he steps back to grab my suitcase and camera bag from the trunk. I was hesitant to bring the latter with me–my low energy state hasn’t made working an option lately–but seeing the gorgeous home the guys live in I’m glad I opted to grab it. At least I can take some beautiful pictures here.

“Hey starlight,” Callisto whispers. He’s suddenly standing beside me, his arm carefully gripping my elbow. I hadn’t realized I was swaying on my feet, lost in my thoughts.

Nebula and Titan are taking my things from Donovan, while Nexus stands by the door. He’s shifting on his feet, and he can’t seem to look at me for more than a few seconds at a time before he jerks his gaze away. My teeth dig into my cheek wondering if maybe he doesn’t want me here after all.

“Let’s get you inside.”

I nod and let them lead me inside. Nexus’ nervousness is palpable in the air as I get closer. I’m practically choking on it when we pass by him to the front door. The dark shadows beneath his eyes seem more pronounced than they were two days ago.

With my energy so low I can’t afford to spend my time worrying why he’s so upset. It’s going to take everything I have to get settled into a room in their house.

“I’m going to leave you here,” Donovan says when he steps inside with us. He narrows a harsh look on each of the guys before turning to me, his eyes softening. “They have my number, call me if you need anything. I’ll keep you updated on the situation at your apartment.”

I offer him a half smile, and he pulls me into a tight side-hug before he gently closes the door behind him.

“Would you like a tour?” Callisto asks after a few moments of awkward silence.

“Um, sure,” I nod, though I don’t know how much of this giant house I’ll be able to stand walking through. Titan must sense my doubts as he quickly promises they’ll only show me the important parts and I can explore the rest later.

We walk a few feet down the hallway before they stop me outside of an open door. Peeking inside I see a small library, or maybe it’s a sunroom, with floor-to-ceiling windows running along two sides. Toward the front of the house is a glass door leading to a small enclosed patio. It’s empty but has a lot of potential to be a cozy reading wonderland.

For Nexus, obviously, since I won’t be staying here for more than a couple of days.

Turning back to the guys, I spy the partially filled bookshelves and boxes of unpacked books on the floor. “Did you move here recently?” I murmur.

“We wanted you to have a pack house to return to,” Nexus answers. I’m shocked he was the one to speak when he seems so hesitant to get any closer to me than the six feet he’s maintained since I arrived.

His words sink in, making my hands tremble and my throat ache. “You-” My voice shakes. “You bought this house because of me?”

Body shuddering, Nexus steps between his packmates. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing close enough I can feel each of his deep breaths as he inhales my scent. His head falls forward to gently thump against mine, pressing our foreheads together.

My lungs are working in overdrive as I suck in small, rapid breaths. Each is coated with the warm amber and woodsy oud of his scent, soothing the barest edge of my pain.

“You needed a nest, a safe space, and we want that to be here with us. This is your home, sweet girl. If you don’t like it we can move. Anywhere in the world, just point your finger and we’ll go. Wherever you are is where our home is.”

A tear slowly tracks down my cheek as his words echo in my broken heart. I want to believe him so badly, to go back to the happy, newly in love place we were before they learned who my birth family is, but my head reminds me of the pain I felt hearing they’d abandoned me. I take a step back, putting distance between us, and wipe the tears from my face.

Flipping the mental switch I built as a child, I let all of my emotions disappear. If I lock them in a tight box, I can deal with them later when I am alone instead of breaking down here.

“Let’s head upstairs,” Callisto suggests. His voice is tight, showing he isn’t unaffected by me shutting down, but he doesn’t call me out on it either.

I follow behind him slowly, each step heavier than the last. They show me their kitchen, and a sneak peek of the expansive, whimsical garden in the back. Then we head up to the third floor.

As soon as we step onto the landing I want to turn around. This is their pack floor. I don’t belong here. My feet drag across the hardwood as they show me the drool-worthy bathroom with a huge jacuzzi tub and a walk-in shower.

Imposter syndrome kicks in hard as we step back into the main bedroom and they guide me to a door at the end. I already know in my heart what awaits us there and it isn’t mine.

It can’t be mine when I’m not theirs.

“This is your nest,” Titan grunts as he swings the door open. “We left it blank so you could decorate it yourself.”

It’s the perfect size, and it’s dark. A huge circular bed sits at the center with twinkling white fairy lights on a floating ring above it. Gauzy black curtains fall from the ring to surround the bed. My inner omega squeals with joy, wanting to dive inside and make this space our own, but we can’t.

It isn’t mine.

My head is shaking before I can force the words from my lips. They watch me with concern, dejection, and acceptance in their eyes. “I can’t sleep there.”

“Tell us what you need us to do to fix it, and we will,” Nebula cuts in.

I turn to meet his dark blue eyes, no longer getting lost in those colorful orbs. I’m unflinching in the face of their stress. “I can’t stay there because I’m not your omega.”

“Omen…” His shoulders lump in defeat, but I’m not going to back down. They made it clear I wasn’t theirs when they left me to a heat that could have killed me. I may have kept secrets from them, but I was keeping them safe. The connection between us was never something I intended to ignore forever, only long enough for my birth family to no longer be a threat.

If they hadn’t realized I had Rejected Omega Syndrome, would they even be speaking to me now?

“You have a guest bedroom on the second floor?” He nods stiffly. “I’ll stay there.”

I don’t wait for them to respond, I turn and head back down the stairs. My heart is breaking all over again being here, surrounded by their scents and hearing their suddenly reignited desire for me to be one of them. The whiplash is giving me a headache.

They linger in the doorway after they sit my bags inside, but I can’t handle them being here. I need to lay down and let the toll of this day fade from my aching body.

“I’m going to sleep,” I tell them before closing the door. It clicks shut several minutes before I hear their footsteps fading into the house.

I slump against the edge of the bed, allowing myself to sit in all of the feelings I’ve been bottling up since I arrived half an hour ago. Tears soak my cheeks and muffled sobs wrack my body, but for the first time in months, it feels cathartic to cry.

After fifteen minutes of breaking down, I slip into the bed and wrap the blankets from my bag around me. I hope my restless mind will allow me to slip into a deep sleep at least for a few hours.