Chapter 21

ChapterTwenty-One

Thea mused on how her life had taken such a turn. One moment she was a little girl with little girl dreams, and then suddenly, she’d become a woman. She had a young man in her life who made her heart beat wildly in her chest. She dreamt of a future she’d never once thought she’d have in her life.

Of course, there were ups and downs. Alistair had been strange the past couple of weeks, but he also had been visiting her in Waterdown, and that wasn’t easy. Getting across the river without his father finding him was taking a toll on the poor man’s nerves. Which was why she’d agreed to see him herself today.

She raced down the magical halls toward the front door. The house teased her, making the hallway longer and longer until she burst into wild laughter. “House!” she shouted.

The hallway shortened and spilled her out into the kitchen, where her mother waited. Máthair leaned against the cold stove, an apple in her hand which wasn’t quite in season yet, with her head tilted.

“Are you going to see that boy again?”

Thea grabbed the apple out of her mother’s hand and took a big bite. “Oh Máthair, you know I don’t have a boy in my life.”

“Do you not?” Her mother tilted her head even more as though she were trying to see right through her soul. “And here I was thinking your head has been in the clouds all summer because of a young Wildecliff boy. Orbweaver, I do believe. You know we met.”

Thea shrugged and tried to look as though she had forgotten. “Oh, did you? And did you like him?”

With a bubble of laughter, her mother grabbed her around the waist and tucked Thea into her arms. She squeezed too hard, wiggling her daughter around until Thea squealed to be let go. “You know I liked him, you silly girl! He was a perfect gentleman, and you proved me wrong about Orbweaver men. How many times do you want to hear it?”

“A thousand times!” Giggling, she wrenched herself out of her mother’s arms and took the apple with her. “He’s a good person, mother. I like him a lot.”

“I know you do. You’ve been happier this summer than I’ve ever seen you. I just wish you weren’t growing up so fast.” Máthair’s smile turned into one of bittersweet happiness. “But I suppose that summer is ending, and he’ll soon be returning to school. One last year for him, I assume?”

“He’s older than the others. At eighteen here, he’d already be going into work.” Thea bit her lip because at eighteen herself; she now had more responsibilities. Soon, she’d have to think about who she might want to marry and what job she wanted to have. Obviously, she couldn’t do what her mother and her sisters did, but...

Today she didn’t have to think about that. Today, all she had to think about was Alistair and how he waited for her in a grove of trees behind a magical altar.

“Don’t forget to take Browning,” her mother said. “He’s been annoyed with you leaving him behind this summer.”

Said toad hopped out of her room with a scowl on his face. Clearly, he’d thought he was going to be left and then would be sullen the rest of the week. Her mother had ruined his grumpy plans.

But Thea already had his sling wrapped around her shoulders. “I had planned on bringing him this time.”

Her heart needed more time with her familiar. Besides, he deserved more adventure in his life, not just bringing letters when dear Atlas needed a break. She picked up Browning underneath the arms and lifted him high into the air before settling him in his sling. One of his back feet stuck dramatically straight up until he wiggled into a comfortable position.

“Be safe!” her mother called after her.

When was she not? Thea might sneak away to meet with an Orbweaver boy, but she was never risky with any of her choices in her life. Alistair was as safe as cuddling with a kitten.

She paddled across the river until her arms burned and her eyes watered with the wind. But she didn’t stop until the sun was high on the horizon and the tip of the boat hit the shore.

Splashing through the waves, she tucked her pale blue skirts into her waistband. Alistair had said he liked it when she wore the color because it made her look like a painting by a great artist. Her skirts were the waves of the sea as they met her pale skin, the sand he claimed, and then disappeared into the dark forests of her hair. He’d become quite the poet as they aged. And every time he said things like that, her face burned bright red. But she loved it.

Maybe she loved him; she mused as she brushed branches out of her way. Would that be mad? They’d only known each other for a summer, but she’d never felt more like herself than in the moments she spent with him.

He waited for her beside the altar, and that half smile broke her heart. She hadn’t gotten a real smile out of him in a while, that made her wonder what was happening in his home.

There were new stress lines on his forehead and around his eyes this week. Ones she hadn’t seen before and could only mean that there were horrible things happening that he hadn’t told her about. But he was here. Right in front of her. She had the chance to fix those awful thoughts if he gave it to her.

As she staggered to a halt on the other side of the altar, her hair slid over her face in a billow of waves that obscured her vision. Before she could even shove it out of her way, he was there.

Alistair slid each individual curl away from her face, smoothing her hair back on her head and taking his time to make sure every strand was in place. His half smile bloomed into a full grin, and he plucked a twig from her hair. He held it up to the sun, his thin fingers spinning it in the golden light.

“How do you always show up with these in your hair?”

She shrugged. “There are a lot of branches on my way to get here.”

“You could cut them.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” She placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath her palm. “I don’t mind if the forest wants to have its way with my hair.”

A spark burned in his eyes. A passion that she’d never seen before, mixed with a desperation that almost frightened her. Alistair slid his hand behind her neck, trapping her where she was. Between the forest and his body, like a deer trapped in front of a wolf. “And what if I wanted to have my way with your hair?”

The breath wheezed from her lungs. “I’d let you.”

His lips descended to her cheek, brushing like velvet against her skin. “And if I wanted to have my way with your lips?”

Oh, why was she so dizzy? Thea’s hand curled in his shirt, holding herself steady with the brace of his body. “I think you’ve already done that before.”

When had he gotten so forward? Thea didn’t remember him being like this. Alistair had always been so unsure of himself. Not quite capable of taking that next leap into what she had always hoped would be passionate and kind.

She knew next to nothing about what they should do past kissing. It wasn’t like her mother had given her any talk about what happened between men and women. A few wives in the village talked about it, and Clodagh. But she didn’t trust Clodagh to tell her the actual truth about it all. Besides, Clodagh only knew how to woo women. Her relationships with men had always failed disastrously.

Loosening the strap that held poor Browning between them, she let her familiar drop to the ground, where he hopped away from them lest he be caught between them. He hated it when they did this. She loved it.

Thea wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down until their lips touched. She sighed against his mouth. So soft. So gentle. Even when he had this false bravado of being a man who told her what he wanted and took it when he wanted, he still touched her with such gentleness and such understanding. He made her feel like she was in control, no matter how he felt or what happened between them.

His arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her against him until they were pressed flush against each other. They had laid in the grass together, but this was different. Something had changed in his movements, perhaps more intent. His hands flexed against her sides but then smoothed up her ribs.

She let out a little gasp as his long fingers brushed the undersides of her breasts. And though he paused, she had the passing thought that she’d quite liked that.

Thea parted her lips and lost all sense of where they were as his tongue plunged into her mouth. Their kiss changed again. This time it became more intense, hotter. He tasted like earl gray tea and some dark magic that she’d never once considered. But then he lifted a hand and palmed her breast and... and...

A sound escaped her lips. A moan, she thought, although it was a horribly embarrassing sound to make. They both stiffened for a moment, breaking away as though the noise had put them both back in the present.

His lips were bright red. Hers probably were too. They stared at each other, wide-eyed and shocked that they had gone so far.

She knew the taste of desperation, though. And she didn’t think that kiss was because he wanted to rush her or that he had grown tired of waiting. That kiss had almost felt like a goodbye.

“What happened?” she asked.

Alistair’s cheeks paled. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“I’m not talking about that, Alistair. I also know you well enough to know something is wrong. So what happened?”

A little of his color returned, but not enough to make her feel better. He reached for the altar and braced himself against it. Then he muttered some curse, an apology to Ceredwin, and then he hopped up to sit on top of it. Alistair’s back curved over his knees, and he braced his arms there to cushion his head in his hands.

“My father...” The rest was too muffled by his palms against his mouth.

So something was wrong. She’d been right, and even that couldn’t make her feel better about having guessed that something had changed.

Kneeling in front of him, Thea shifted so she could look through his hands, where she sat between his legs. “Alistair? I know this might not be easy to talk about, but you do have to talk about it with me. It looks like it’s eating you up inside and that’s breaking my heart.”

He peeled his thumbs off his face so he could clearly say, “My father cursed me.”

“Cursed you?”

“He tricked me into dedicating my life to the family and the Orbweaver name.”

Well, that didn’t sound too bad. She’d heard worse curses out there, and having to be true to your family wasn’t the worst of them. He could have been cursed to lose all his limbs or have rabbit ears for the rest of his life. Curses were tricky things.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” she said. “Why are you acting like this is the last time we’ll see each other?”

Finally, he looked at her, and she saw the answer in his eyes. He feared exactly what she said. He really did. The sorrow on his features was as though he’d already lost her.

Thea slid her fingers along his jaw, stroking the faint stubble that had grown there. “Alistair. It’s honorable to be dedicated to your family and their name. Why would I ever want to leave you because of that?”

“The Orbweaver name requires that I stay in that house. That I remain in Wildecliff my entire life.” He held her hand against his face. “I cannot tell you all the dark things that happen in that manor, but I will say that I can’t subject you to that. You deserve better, Thea.”

“Alistair Orbweaver, are you trying to tell me what to do with my life?” Thea tried to tug her hand away from him, but he held it with rather surprising strength. “I make my own decisions about where I want to be and who I want to be with. Neither you nor your family can order me around.”

That half smile had returned as he held her hand with an iron grip. “I’m telling you, it would be dangerous to keep meeting with me. My family is not one that you want to tie yourself to.”

“Well, what if I want to?”

“Do you?”

She pretended to think about it, all while trying to wrestle her wrist out of his grasp. “I think I might. You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Alistair, and I don’t want to let that go to waste. Not when we’ve only just discovered each other.”

“We’ve been writing for two years.”

“And two years is not enough to satisfy me!” Finally, she managed to jerk her hand free and stood up. Thea planted her hands on her hips, glaring at him as he smiled up at her. “Alistair Orbweaver, I think I might be convinced to love you, if you’d let me.”

Well, she hadn’t meant to say that much. But now that she had, it felt like a weight was lifted off her chest. She’d wanted to say something like that for a while now, and he needed to know it.

He stood, his eyes wide and his hands already reaching for her again. Alistair tugged her until she had both her hands planted against his chest, and their bodies were so close she could feel his breath on his cheeks.

“You could love me?” he murmured.

“I could.”

He leaned a little closer again, all the passion returning to his eyes. “Do you mean to say that you aren’t already in love with me, Miss Thea?”

Oh, she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t admit to all of her feelings before he’d admitted to his. So, instead of telling the truth, she sniffed imperiously and said, “You’ll have to convince me first, Alistair.”

“Then I suppose first I should show you what you’re getting into.” That passion disappeared, and a hard glint appeared in his eyes. “Come with me to Wildecliff. We’ll go together through the wall, and you can decide after you see the manor whether or not you want to love me.”

Her head was spinning. What did he want from her? Did he want her to be in love with him or not?

“I—“

But he was already tugging her toward the opening in the forest where his family had disappeared. And she thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to put his fears at rest. Nothing in his family history could scare her so much that she’d deny him.

“Browning!” she called out and then held the sling open for her toad to hop in.

Apparently, she was going to Wildecliff. What an adventure.