Chapter 14

ChapterFourteen

Alistair’s nerves were getting the better of him. How had he been so confident that he could ask her to see him? They had only been writing back and forth for a very short amount of time. Together, their letters had soared up into the stars and told a story of romance and wild abandon that could only be seen in the handwriting of children.

But in person?

He was a man now. His father was all too pleased to remind him of that with every chance he could. Alistair was a young man with a wide future in front of him, and that meant that she was a woman.

A woman.

A real-life woman with curves and dark hair, and what if he had remembered her incorrectly? What if he turned around to see her, and everything came crashing down around his shoulders?

Gooseflesh rose on his arms as he heard the sound of a twig breaking. She wasn’t being all that quiet. And then he had to scold himself for even considering she’d want to sneak up on him. He was the one who had invited her. She knew he was waiting for her and that she didn’t have to hide her approach.

Glancing at the altar, he muttered, “Ceridwen, give me strength.”

Alistair turned around and watched as a pale hand moved the branches out of her way. And then she stepped out of the mist, all wild dark hair and dark eyes. Her long skirts swayed around her ankles, and the half smile on her face was both tempting and terrifying.

She wasn’t just a witch. She was the witch.

He had the terrifying realization that she was everything he’d been looking for. Not just a woman. Not just the kindly girl who had sent him letters since they had first met on that ill-fated night. Thea was everything his soul had been searching for and desperately needed.

And now he had no idea how to talk to her.

His face flamed bright red, and his hands shook because what if he said something stupid? What if she laughed at him as his family always had? What if he tried to talk about something that he loved, and she thought that he was a fool? He’d never survive the embarrassment.

Sweat slicked underneath his arms, and he worried he would smell. She’d find him disgusting then and would turn right back around.

Thea paused on the other side of the center altar. She tilted her head to the side, clearly waiting for him to say something, and yet... What could he say? What did a scruffy young man like him say to a woman like this?

Swallowing hard, he dug his hands down into his pockets, shoulders lifting to his ears. “Thea?”

Her laughter bubbled up into the air and floated on the faint breeze. “Were you expecting someone else?”

That blush spread up to the tips of his ears until they hurt. Of course, he wasn’t expecting someone else; it was just... well... He realized he didn’t know how to talk to a woman.

His brothers were much better at this, even though they eventually got a lot worse. They knew how to make a woman laugh and giggle. Then they would put an arm around her and draw her into the shadows. Usually, those same young women came back with a frown on their faces, but at least his brothers knew how to make them smile for a little while.

Alistair didn’t even know how to do that. And it frustrated him because he’d talked to her for so long! They knew so much about each other, and yet he didn’t think he could bring up her frustrations with her sisters or how her mother had been acting. He’d never spoken to her much face to face.

She opened her mouth, closed it, and then looked at him with a begging expression that he knew meant she expected him to start this conversation. But how did one talk to a young woman he’d put up on a pedestal of starlight and magic?

“I—Uh—“

Thea looked away from him, back to the safety of the woods, and he knew she wanted to leave. She’d rather return to the boat that had taken her across the river Danu than stand here right now, awkwardly staring at each other while he had turned as red as a tomato.

Damn it. He was muddling this all up, and he’d looked forward to seeing her so much.

“I—“ he tried again, even though the words coming out of his mouth didn’t seem to match the ones in his head.

He should say that she looked even more beautiful in person. He wanted to say that her letters had kept him going when the entire world felt dark and gray. All the words he’d prepared, the ones that had been locked up inside him because a letter simply couldn’t convey the correct emotions, pressed against his throat and jostled to be the first to be said. Instead, the only sound that emerged was a faint croak.

Or perhaps that sound wasn’t him at all.

His eyes trailed down past her shoulder until they followed the blue plaid that she’d wrapped across her body. Then he peered down into a wart-covered face that was much more familiar to him. One that, despite his ugliness, Alistair had grown rather fond of.

“Browning!” he exclaimed, significantly more like himself. “I didn’t think you’d bring him with you, or I would have brought Atlas.”

“Oh!” Thea looked down at Browning as well, then patted her familiar on top of his head. “He goes everywhere with me. He gets angry if I don’t bring him, you see. I’m quite afraid of him when he’s angry. It’s nearly impossible to control him.”

The snort that echoed out of his mouth was undignified, but he knew what she was talking about. “The last time he came to my house, I caught him in the kitchens with all the maids. They were hand feeding him flower petals.”

“His favorite snack.” She nodded, perhaps a little too vigorously. “He’ll eat anything, of course, but he has a soft spot for flower petals.”

This was awkward. They were talking about a toad rather than talking to each other, but at least he could feel himself loosen up a little. The tension between his shoulder blades eased enough for him to drop his shoulders away from his ears.

If only he could think of something else other than the way her curls coiled around the seashell of her ear. Or how she shifted from foot to foot as though she were dancing and had no idea that her body moved of his own accord.

He’d wanted this night to be special. He wanted this moment to show them why they’d been writing to each other for months on end. Over a year, now. He wanted to know that she felt the same strange feelings for him even though they were impossible and awkward and... and...

Thea held her hand out for him to take. Her fingers were long and pale. There was dirt underneath her fingernails, just like there was always dirt underneath his.

He looked up to meet her eyes through the lanky fall of his hair.

She smiled and wiggled her fingers. “Altars are so depressing, don’t you think? They suck all the energy out of the air.”

“Where would you rather go?”

“Anywhere.”

And that sounded quite nice. He’d let her take him anywhere she wanted if she didn’t stop looking at him with that sparkle in her eyes.

He slipped his hand into hers and let the witch draw him away from the shadows that lingered around the altar and into the woods beyond.

He’d never gone anywhere other than the altar on this side of the wall. His father claimed it was a dangerous place, full of ancient gods and goddesses. Beasts that would tear him limb from limb if he thought he was important enough to disturb their peace. Everyone in Wildecliff was warned away from the terrifying outside of the wall.

But the moment they stepped away from the altar, the world burst into life. She drew him underneath branches that creaked with the wind. Tugged him over logs with moss that glowed in the moonlight while eyes blinked open from their nests deep inside the wood. Finally, she brought him to a small ring of mushrooms that had cleared out a space on the forest floor. Even the trees had moved their branches so the moon could see the white caps in a perfect circle.

He almost stepped inside it before she tugged him back. He lost his balance, tumbling dangerously until she caught him in her arms. Her chest pressed against his back, and her strong arms wrapped around his waist. Surprisingly strong for a girl who didn’t come up to his shoulder.

“Don’t step into a faerie ring,” she hissed. “You’ll be taken into the other realm and then no one will ever see you again.”

That wasn’t true. “Actually, as long as you don’t eat or drink anything, you’ll be fine.”

“Except time passes differently in that realm! A few days before you figured out how to get back might be a few years here, or a few centuries!” She shuddered against his back, and her fingers curled protectively in his shirt. “Best not to try your luck. Even if you can see their kind.”

“Worried about me, are you?” There was the faintest hint of his brothers in his voice, one that he didn’t necessarily like but also knew had worked.

Her fingers spasmed in his shirt before she drew away from him. Thea had moved her grip to the plaid and frowned at him. “If you want to try your luck with the fae, then by all means. I just don’t think they’re likely to give you back.”

They would. The fae had little use for him in their realm. They enjoyed ordering him around in this one far too much to waste him in their own realm. Still, he thought it was adorable that she’d worried for his safety.

Looking over at the faerie circle, he muttered, “Why don’t you ease her mind a little?”

Faerie lights rose from each mushroom. These were little will-o’-the-wisps, faeries that she could see without the gift he’d given her. They floated up to about the same height as Alistair and then gently bobbed from side to side.

“Oh,” Thea breathed. “They’re so lovely.”

The faeries loved compliments. At his nod, they rushed toward her and settled in her hair, on her shoulders, down her arms. One even landed on top of Browning’s head. He went cross-eyed, trying to see the flying light that he obviously wanted to eat.

Thea froze where she was, holding her arms out at her side and the lights dancing in her eyes.

“Look,” she said. “I think they like me!”

“I think so too,” he replied with a chuckle. He tucked his hands into his pockets, more naturally this time, and leaned back a little to get a good look at her. “You look pretty decorated in faeries. What shall we call you? Mistress of the wisps?”

She crossed her eyes, mimicking her toad, and stuck her tongue out. “Now that would be a gross exaggeration and an insult to these lovely fae. If anyone were their mistress, it would be someone much more important than me.”

But he wasn’t so sure about that. The way the lights danced on her features only proved how lovely she was. The shadows along her nose were aristocratic, and the smooth globes of her cheeks made him want to touch them to see if her skin was as soft as it looked.

Goddess divine, she was more than he’d ever expected. Here Alistair had been, waiting to meet a toadstool when he was waiting for a faerie princess to step out of the wood and draw him deeper into her world.

He tilted his head to the side and smiled at her. Not a full grin because he hadn’t done that in years. But a half smile that was more than he’d felt on his face for years.

“Oh, I think important people forget they aren’t the only ones here. You’d remember them, Thea. That’s more important to the fae than wealth or beauty.”

“Why’s that?”

He took a step closer to her, and the faeries lifted off her, returning to their watch over the faerie circle that needed guarding.

The look in her eyes was one of apprehension but also something that was akin to excitement. He hoped she wasn’t nervous anymore or afraid. Alistair wanted her to see him for who he really was.

Maybe it was the forest. Maybe it was the faeries surrounding them. Whatever it was around them that encouraged bravery to bloom in his chest, he would never know.

But Alistair stepped up to her and hooked one of those dark waves around his finger, and now he knew that her hair felt like silk. “The fae have learned that being remembered is more important than wealth or power. For if you are remembered, then you’ve already discovered immortality.”

“Immortality sounds rather boring to me,” she whispered, wide eyes staring up into his. “I’d rather live a wild and untamed life than be so concerned with forever that I forget to live.”

He didn’t understand this magical woman in front of him, but he wanted to. Alistair wanted to dive into her mind so he could live a few moments like her. Without worrying about honor or greatness, not having to worry about how her family name would live on.

She lived. Just like she said. And he wondered how it would feel to be less of a tamed pet and more of a wild animal whom no one could control.

Thea bit her bottom lip, brows furrowed as she looked up at him. “Do you not agree?”

The lock of her hair slipped from his fingers, and he sighed before shrugging. “I don’t know. I’ve only grown up with the laws my father has put in place. He told me for years that I had to uphold a legacy that he and his father had built. And the father before that, etcetera.”

“That sounds very heavy to carry.”

“It can be.” Again he shrugged. “But I am the youngest of his sons, so I have the least amount of expectations on my shoulders. My brothers will uphold my father’s history, so I suppose I have less to worry about. That’s probably why my father has let me live on the sidelines for such a long time.”

Why was he talking so much? These were personal thoughts that she likely didn’t care about at all. And yet, he wanted to tell her. He wanted to let his deepest, darkest secrets pour out of his mouth so that he could purge them from his soul.

She reached up between them and placed her hand on his jaw. “When we are here together in the woods, you can leave that weight somewhere else. To me, you are just Alistair.”

Just Alistair.

He liked that.

“Sound good?” she added.

“Yes,” he replied. “I think I would like that very much, if you feel comfortable with that.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? After all, I’ve been writing with Alistair, not the youngest son of the Orbweaver family.” She chuckled as though the thought amused her. “I’ve always wanted to know you for who you are, Alistair. I don’t care about your family or what everyone else thinks you’re supposed to be. Caring about any of that is a waste of time.”

He supposed she was right. He took a step back and held out his hand. “Will you walk with me back to the wall? I’d like to talk about Browning more, and perhaps learn a little about your family. And once we’re there, I have something to show you.”

And so they walked.

He took her around the paths that led to the wall, but then he rounded them back to the altar a few times as though he didn’t quite remember how to get home. Mostly because he enjoyed listening to her talk. There was a musical quality to her voice, as though she were always just moments away from bursting into song. He wanted to hear her sing. He wanted to hear her talk. All her stories were filled with so much detail it was like he had been there. Right beside her.

Eventually, however, the sun peeked out on the horizon, and he knew they both needed to get home.

As the sky turned pale and the moon set for the evening, he drew her to the wall and pointed out what he wanted her to see. “There, do you see it?”

The crack in the wall had recently been patched, but it never lasted long. Already, some Wildecliff citizens had pulled the stones away to reveal the hidden entrance into his city. The crumbling edges were just big enough for someone larger to fit through.

“A hole in the wall?” she observed. “My mother said that was impossible to find because people from Wildecliff are terrified of the wilderness entering their home.”

“Not impossible,” he corrected. “Just unlikely. But this hole has been here for centuries. It’s a way for us to get to the altar and back, but if you ever needed me...”

She bit that lip again, white teeth flashing to hide her smile. “And why would I ever need to find you, Alistair Orbweaver?”

His cheeks turned bright red again. “Just in case.”

She nodded, still grinning. “If something horrible happens and I need an escape, I will come to you first. I promise. Goodbye, Alistair.”

There wasn’t anything else to say, he supposed. She turned to go back into the woods and the wilds, and he should have gone home to the safety of his dark manor. Except this wasn’t right. Not yet.

He spun around, eyes seeking her disappearing shape. “Thea!” he called out.

“What is it?” she asked, turning around with her eyes still wide.

“When will I see you again?”

She tucked a strand of that lovely hair behind her ear and smiled in a way that nearly sent him to his knees. “I’ll tell you in a letter.”