Chapter 9

Tara

The party carries on. No one looks at me as I pass, racing toward the exit into the castle. Instead, music plays and people dance. I look back at them as I reach the door and see that they're all celebrating. Celebrating the witches and their new roles. But, mostly, celebrating the peace treaty with the shifters.

It's as if they think no one had to pay a price for that peace. But I did.

I keep going until I reach another set of stairs. My eyes burn as I slip onto them, and I'm swallowed by the darkness of the stairs. My knees are shaking so badly that I can barely put one foot in front of another. Suddenly, my knees give out, and I tumble onto my knees and palms. A sob explodes from my lips.

"Princess Tara." Baldemar says my name, filled with worry, as he rushes down the stairs and helps me stand. "I heard what happened."

Our eyes lock, and I'm looking at him through a veil of tears.

"Come on then." He wraps an arm around my shoulders, careful of the weapons bag he carries on his back, and I have no idea where he's leading me until we end up in one of the watchtowers. He asks the witch there to go, and she takes one look at me and takes off. "You're going to be okay," he says as he lowers me to the floor.

I'm ashamed, but sobs are building in my throat, threatening to explode.

"You're going to be okay," he repeats.

I suck in a shaky breath. "How?"

He's quiet for a long moment. "I could get some things together and get you out of here. We could head for the furthest covens and try to find a way to survive."

I realize what he's saying seconds after he's finished. He can't be serious. If we left, they would find us, and they would kill him. There's nowhere in these lands we could hide from my mother, and he knows that.

"You're like a daughter to me," he says, his voice breaking.

Looking up into his kind eyes, I finally have a reason to go. Baldemar won't let me leave if he thinks I can't handle it, and he'll be in danger if he tries to help me. Maybe no one here cares that I was a chip in a bargaining deal with the bloodthirsty shifters, but he does. I need to care about him as much as he cares about me.

"I'm okay," I say, my voice stronger than before. "It was just shock. I'm going to be fine."

He kneels down, and his knees crackle. "Shifters are dangerous…"

"So am I." It's easy to force this smile. For him. "I can handle them. And who knows, maybe this will be good for me? A change. I wanted one. Right?"

"Princess Tara…"

"Just Tara," I tell him, then add on, "You've always been like a father to me too."

"I just want you to be safe." His voice is thick with emotion.

"I just want you to be safe," I tell him, my smile widening. "I'm fine. Really. Go relax. This is dinner time for you, right?"

He doesn't look convinced.

Climbing to my knees, I throw my arms around him. "I'm going to miss you so much."

He hugs me back. A real hug. Not like the one my mom gave me. "I'm going to miss you too."

I release him and stand, and he stands too, dragging his bag back onto his back. We stare at each other. Each of us knows the truth: that I don't want to go, but that there's no other choice.

"Oh," he says, his brows lifting, "I brought these for you." Then he hands me the weapons bag from his shoulder.

I take it and smile. "Thank you."

"I just wanted you to have something to remember me by." He looks older than I've ever seen him. And tired.

Unable to stop myself, I wrap him in another hug. "Nothing could ever make me forget you."

He squeezes me tightly, and we separate.

"Keep making beautiful swords," I tell him.

"Keep being amazing," he tells me, eyes filled with unshed tears.

It takes everything in me to turn my back on him and start back down the stairs. But with each step I take, my shoulders fall farther and tears roll down my cheeks. Goodbye, Baldemar.

I make my way to my room. But when I open the door, all of my things are gone. In their place are stacked chests and boxes. Who the hell packed my stuff while I was gone? Who knew about this ahead of time?

A line of servants come in and carry the boxes and chests out like a line of ants, taking any signs that I ever lived in this room – a room I've lived in since my birth – along with them.

One of them reaches for a bag on my bed, and I hear the jingle of my weapons.

"I've got that," I say, jumping forward.

He gives me a funny look, but bows and hands the bag to me, before selecting something else and following the other servants out. The bag is a comforting presence on my shoulder. It's a little heavy, but it's also a reminder that I'm not defenseless against the shifters. If they decide to try something, I'll fight until my dying breath.

Going to the bed, I put the weapons from my bag into Baldemar's bag. I try not to notice the weapons he selected for me as I do so, but they hum in my hand when I touch them. A smile curls my lips, and my heart aches. He knows me too well.

Wisp appears before me with a sad look on her face.

"Why so glum, Wisp?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

"Glum," she says, and she sounds as heartbroken as I feel.

I sit on the edge of the bed, and Wisp floats in front of my face, close enough that I can see her sad expression. "I think I might just have to make the most of this… unless they rip me to shreds the moment we leave witch lands."

"Shred witch lands." Her voice is vicious and angry now. If she had a little fist, I'm sure she'd be clenching it.

I finally have a real smile. "No! That's why she gave me to them, so they won't shred our lands."

"Gave Tara away," Wisp whispers sadly as she lands on my shoulder and touches the hair I have tucked behind my ear.

My own mother. Without a thought. Like I was nothing.

"Yes, Wisp, she gave me away. To the shifters." My voice is starting to break again, so I strive to find something else to focus on before I break. "Guess what? You might not have heard yet, but I have three husbands now."

"Shifter husbands." Is she wrinkling her little nose? I think she is.

"I know, right? And not just one. I have three. How does that even work?" I stop and try to imagine, but the only thing that comes up is a picture of a potato being poked by a bunch of different forks, and I wince.

"How?" Wisp asks, as if baffled.

I laugh even though my stomach turns. "Sounds like a hell of a lot of work. Not that they want to make it work. They looked pissed at even having to marry me… although Prince Rinan seemed the least likely to tear me apart of the three. What am I going to do?"

"Do Rinan," she suggests in a helpful little voice.

Yeah, right. "I'm married to monsters." I think about the stories I've been told about shifters. They're ruthless and have no remorse for the things they do. I doubt they even know what love or a partnership is.

"Married monsters," she says, as if telling me an important fact.

"Wisp, I know. And I'm about to go live with them. Share a bed with them. Share my whole life with them. And be completely away from everyone I"ve ever known." I slump my shoulders and clutch the straps of my bag. No one here cares anyway. Not even my own mother. She's the one who sold my soul.

"Go live away." She sounds sad.

"Yes, Wisp, I'm going to live away. I"m going far away all by myself." An idea occurs to me. "Unless you want to come too?"

I hadn't thought about it until now. Wisp can come with me and keep my company. She can be my one piece of home that I take with me. My one friend.

"By yourself," she says sadly.

My hope dies, but I try not to show it. "Will I ever see you again?"

"See you again," Wisp says, and then she fades away.

But I couldn't tell what she was saying. Will I see her again? Or is this the end? My empty room actually feels empty now.

This is it. The last time I'll ever be in this room again. The last time I'll see Baldemar, or probably Wisp. This is my life now.

I better make the best of it. I better find out anything and everything I can that can help me survive for as long as possible. Listening and paying attention will be essential from this point forward. Maybe if I can be smarter, I can stay alive.

The door slams open, hitting the back of the wall as my mother strides in. "Tara, what are you doing? Your husbands are waiting for you."

There's a smile painted on her face, and she does a little twirl as she approaches me. She's light and airy like she's relieved herself of some giant burden. I wonder if it"s the peace treaty with the shifters or if it's just that she's rid of me.

I stare at her for a moment, looking right into her eyes, trying to find an ounce of caring in them. There's nothing. Not a speck of anything. How many times do I have to see that I can't be loved before I believe it?

When I don't speak or move, her brightness is replaced with impatience. "Come on, I'll walk you out."

So she can get rid of me faster.

I slowly rise to my feet. "Will I be safe with the shifters?"

"Safe?" She gives a laugh and leads me toward the door. "Battle Witches never concern themselves with safety, just what's best for their coven. I always forget that about you. You only think about what's best for yourself."

Ouch. That wasn't helpful at all, but I've got minutes, at best, to try to prepare myself for what's coming next.

I continue walking behind her. "You've been there before in your battles with them. What's it like in their lands?"

She seems too happy to care much about what I'm saying, luckily for me. "They don't have magic, and since you're so lacking in magic and beauty and any useful skills, you're well-suited to be the wife of three shifter princes. It'll be perfect for you."

"How do they treat their women?" She's moving as fast as she can through the halls. She's moving so fast that I'm having to nearly run to keep up.

She waves her hand in front of her. "The way bloodthirsty monsters would normally treat their wives, of course. But this isn't a marriage of love or happiness, darling, it's a marriage where one life is being sacrificed for the many."

We're nearly at the front door, and my stomach's nearly in my feet. "So, I should be expected to fight?"

She glances back at me. "Darling, you're no Battle Witch. You should be prepared to roll over and take whatever they throw at you. Maybe they'll be able to toughen you up in a way I never could."

That sick feeling wells up in me as she tosses open one of the doors to the castle.

Once we step outside, I watch as my whole life is loaded onto the carriage. In front of and behind the carriage, a whole pack of shifters sit atop their horses. Waiting. There's at least two dozen of them, still radiating anger and distrust. It's as if the peace treaty was never signed, and they're just here, expecting an attack at any moment.

Ignore it. Stay alert. You can do this.

My mother surprises me by wrapping both of her strong arms around me and squeezing me tightly. "Don't screw this up," she tells me before shoving me toward the carriage.

I stumble but catch my footing before I fall on my face in front of all of these shifters. Straightening my dress, I glance around me. None of the witches are outside. None wait to give their goodbyes or cheer as I drive away. This is really it.

My old life is dead and this new life, married to three shifters, is all I have.

Somehow I need to survive it.

Prince Arlys is suddenly beside me.

A small squeak leaves my lips. "You're as quiet as a cat!"

He lifts a brow. "We're not cats. We're wolves."

Okay, fair enough.

He offers me his hand to climb into the carriage. My breath catches, but I place my much smaller hand in his, and a familiar tingle moves through my body. It's strange how tiny I feel next to the huge shifter. Yet, I can't decide if I feel safe or terrified beside him.

"Princess Tara?"

I glance in his direction.

"Is the step too tall?"

It's then that I realize I'm just sitting there holding his hand. My cheeks heat, and I shake my head. I don't look back at him or my mother as I step into the carriage, because I can't look at him, and because I know she won't be there waiting.

There's no one else in the carriage. It's large and plush, more so than I would have expected from shifters, but it doesn't matter. I set my bag of weapons down next to me and hold myself stiffly, wondering what I'm supposed to do now.

The horse starts moving. I decide the hell with it, and lean out the window. My mother, of course, has already gone back inside, even though the sentries still have their gazes still firmly on the group of shifters.

My home for the last twenty years slowly passes by. I lean further out the window, and my heart leaps when I see Baldemar. He waves at me and I might not be sure from this distance, but I think he might have tears rolling down his cheeks. He holds up a dagger I made. It's one of my favorites – the one that'll give its bearer the strength to face all things.

I smile and place my hand over my heart. Baldemar's my only friend in the Crystal Realm. My family. He's the only person who will miss me, but right now, that feels like enough.

Our gazes remain locked until the carriage rolls out of the castle grounds and I can no longer see him, no matter how far I lean out the window. Blinking away tears, I turn and focus on what's ahead – whatever that may be.