Chapter 16

Chapter

Sixteen

SAGE

I lie in the darkness of my room, Killian pressed tight against my back, his breath warm on my neck. His fingers gently stroke my wrist, where it's still slightly sore from being tied up.

I can't believe I just had sex. With a monster, no less.

"Did I hurt you too much?" he asks.

"Is it strange if I admit that I enjoyed the pain?" I murmur, curling in on myself, while he draws me closer to him, embracing me with his body.

His lips brush my ear. "Pleasure is never enjoyed without a sliver of pain."

"You know what else is strange?" I say, turning my head slightly to look at him, where he still holds his monster form. I should be scared, but his appearance is becoming a real turn-on. "You're not like the Viscount I first met in Nightingale Village. I mean, you look like him in human form, but you don't really behave that way anymore. Even the way you speak is more relaxed."

"Do any of us really show our true selves when away from home?"

I think about his words, about how, in the village, I always put on a mask around others to avoid gaining attention. Alina had seen more of the real me than anyone else there… well, except for my mom. Now, I wonder about both of them and if they're safe. I suspect Alina would be cheering for me if I told her I just lost my virginity.

"I have appearances to maintain on Earth," Killian continues, drawing my attention back to him. "The Viscount is who you first met, who had a role to play, but the Shadowfen you're with now, that's who you're going to fall in love with."

A laugh escapes my lips, but he's not laughing with me.

"That's very forward," I admit, glancing back again at the hard expression on his face as he studies me, something I'm becoming more accustomed to—the healed scar that runs across his brow, the curls of deep blue ink reaching up along his neck and collarbone. Next to him, I'm tiny, yet my fear has transformed into something more profound, something that resembles an attraction I never expected.

"I'm a Shadowfen who always looks forward ," he says sarcastically. "The past holds nothing for me."

We lie in silence, his response toying with my mind while he tightens his hold around my middle, his leg draping over mine, giving me zero opportunity to leave if I tried.

"What happened in the past?" I ask out of curiosity.

Silence.

I assume he's not going to respond. Part of me guesses he may have lost many loved ones during the Great Desolation on their home world.

"For a long time, I traveled to other worlds, searching for my intended mate, as she wasn't on my home planet. Then I thought I found her… someone who swept me away so fast that I stood no chance to doubt anything," he begins. "I foolishly believed she felt the same way."

Silence stretches between us, impatience getting the better of me.

"Did she hurt you?" My throat is tight at hearing him speak of his attraction to someone else.

"She passed away, and only after that did I discover she was going to break up with me." He pauses, and my insides clench at his pain. "It took me a long time to come to terms with the hurt and grief. I honestly believed she was the one, and when I lost her, I threw myself into hunting or fighting anything and anyone who stood in my way. Nyko wasn't much of a help as he encouraged me, joining in alongside me." He chuckles as if remembering the moments.

"It's only in more recent years that I tried to find my true mate again. And I had to be certain she was the one when I found her." There's hardness in his voice, as though he's worked out how to separate his emotions from such a heart-wrenching experience.

"I'm so sorry you went through that." Draping my arm around his, I draw his hand up to my face and kiss it, then glance back at him.

"I guess that's why you insisted on the ritual with me, to make sure?"

He nods, then kisses the top of my head while holding me possessively, as if he has no intention of ever letting me go. There's something painful in knowing he suffered, that his heart was ripped out, his feelings not returned.

"The past is just that, Sage. My focus is you and our future," he says with strong conviction. Does he assume I'm going to run away from him?

In all honesty, I'm taking it day by day, still dealing with my own changes that I can't even think about what the future will bring. Let alone what having a true mate really entails.

After a long pause, I ask, "How would I find out who my father is? To discover if he's still alive and maybe… if he'll even want to see me?"

He stiffens against my back and swallows loudly. "We have a whole section in the Chamber of Tomes listing everyone before the Great Desolation."

I frown, figuring I may not know his name, but maybe Mom took his surname? Do monsters have them? "Hmm, do the Shadowfen have surnames? I don't even know my father's name."

"It's not a common practice," he confirms. "So, for me, I am Killian Venator, while Nyko carries no surname. It depended on our ancestor's positioning in the kingdom. Only those close to the royal family were permitted to choose a surname. These days, it's not much of an issue as most go by first name only. Our identities are easily revealed by our blood now."

"Perhaps I can have mine tested, see if there's a way to match it with others in your records," I ask, hopeful.

"That's possible." He says nothing more, as if the topic bores him. But it gives me direction, knowing what I'll search for tomorrow on the vessel.

"Thanks, I'll do some investigating."

After a while, he says, "Sleep now."

I shut my eyes, trying to push away the pity, but it lingers in my thoughts. His grip on me is firm, and I find a strange comfort in it.

For the first time in too long, I let myself drift into a deep sleep, feeling safer than I ever have.

I wake up with a gasp in my throat, disoriented and momentarily unable to remember where in the world I am. The darkness of the room presses in, memories rushing back, and I call out softly, "Killian?"

No response.

I sit up, the cool sheets slipping off me, and my eyes catch the faint sliver of moonlight coming through the slightly ajar balcony door. Faint voices drift into the room.

Rubbing my eyes, I push back the covers and swing my legs over the side of the bed. The floor is cool beneath my feet as I pad softly over to the balcony. Grabbing a shirt I'd left on the chair, I drag it down over my head and body. The closer I get to the door, the more distinct the voices become, though I can't make out what they're saying.

I step out onto the balcony, the cool night air washing over me. My gaze is drawn to the railing, and I glance down at the scene on one of the lowest balconies near the water.

Killian stands there, unmistakable even in the dim light pouring out from inside the vessel. His blue skin seems to absorb the moonlight, making him appear almost magical.

Across from him is Nyko, elbows propped up behind him against the railing. His wild, chestnut hair flutters in the breeze, and even from my vantage point, it's impossible to ignore those sharp angles of his face, the heavy eyebrows, the perfectly shaped lips with a dimple in his chin. I may not see all the details from up here, but I've memorized him from our first meeting.

He's ridiculously handsome, yet he gives off a crazier vibe than Killian, which worries me, especially with the butterflies fluttering in my stomach at the sight of him.

"Think she knows?" Nyko asks, the wind carrying his voice to me.

Killian shrugs. "Doubt it, but I think we should tell her."

"Wait, didn't you just say she hates the idea of being one of us? So, you don't think it's better to tell her once we get there?" Nyko's tone is incredulous, straightening his posture.

Are they talking about me?

Killian doesn't answer right away.

Nyko turns to stare out across the dark water. "Wolfe said he's worried if she knows the truth, she won't go through with it."

My heart clenches, and my stomach knots. They're talking about me… I just know it. What are they hiding from me?

"Fuck that. I don't feel right keeping this from her. She's asking questions, and it's gutting me to hide things from her."

Ice fills my veins. What are they talking about? I need to know.

Nyko barks a laugh. "So, what's your plan? For all of us to keep floating on this damn vessel for eternity?"

Killian huffs, gaze lowering, hands curled into fists. "You think I don't know what's at stake?"

"Maybe you're right." Nyko changes his tune. "We tell her, let her know what she's getting into. I guess she has every right to know who her father is, so we go in with her, knowing what she's walking into."

My breath catches, and I gasp, pulling back from the railing instantly in case they look up.

My father?

Why the fuck would they keep such a secret from me? And when I asked Killian about my father, he said nothing. Asshole!

Shaking from anger and fear that snaps around me, I glance down once more, but now it's only Killian on the balcony alone, grasping the railing.

Their words hang over me, suffocating. They know who my father is, and they're hiding it.

A sudden movement next to him catches my eye. Emerging from inside is Nyko, the blades he's tucking into his belt catching the light. Killian is busy fiddling with something in his hand. He presses his palm to the side of his neck, sticking something white to his flesh, which vanishes into his skin almost immediately. He turns to Nyko and does the same. Nyko tilts his head aside, accepting the gesture, then unleashes a howl and suddenly leaps over the railing, disappearing into the dark waters below.

I gasp, gripping the balcony railing. Moments later, Killian follows suit, diving into the sea with the same fluid movement. They vanish from sight, leaving only ripples in the water.

I stand there, feeling the cool breeze tug at my hair, trying to process what I've just witnessed, what I've heard. The boat appears still, not traveling, the night eerily calm.

What are they doing?

A sick feeling stirs in my gut as I turn to go back inside. I catch sight of my reflection in the glass doors. Violet eyes glow back at me.

My violet eyes.

I pause and stare at myself, freezing in place.

"I'm changing too quickly."

It's the same hue that's deepened the color of my hair. I run my fingers through the strands, unable to ignore how much darker they are now.

How long before I turn into a full monster? It shouldn't scare me, but losing control does. There's no way I can ever return to Nightingale Village with how different I've become, and that hurts.

Fear grips me as I stand there, staring at my reflection, while the weight of what's coming for me presses down on my shoulders.

Exhaling loudly, I turn away from the door and head inside, yet my reflection stays with me. That same reminder of how out of control my life really is. I slip back into bed, curling up under the blankets, feeling more lost than ever. I don't think I can sleep, not when I'm worried about what truths are coming my way.

Whether I want them to or not…

Nyko

T he great sea of Nerya swallows me whole, its chilling embrace snapping around my body like a thousand tiny needles. Named after the first Queen of Blight, these waters are ancient, powerful, and treacherous. And why we're going hunting.

Most of our land is now submerged, but the course Howler's on keeps us over the original ocean, a vast abyss beneath us.

Muscles taut, my senses heighten, the magic gills on my neck start to pulse. The first breath of water I suck into my lungs always feels like drowning. My body rebels against the intrusion, lungs seizing up. A few moments later, the sensation regulates, and I breathe easily underwater.

An explosion of water surges past me as Killian zips by, a blur of blue against the dark ocean. His powerful arms slice through the sea, legs kicking with incredible speed, propelling him forward effortlessly.

He'd wanted to hunt tonight, and I haven't seen him starve for a kill in years. When he came to my room, he'd been bouncing on his toes, pent-up energy radiating off him in waves.

"I'm ready to fucking destroy something," he'd said. "I feel like I could carry the damn ocean on my back."

Never one to turn down the chance for a fight, I leapt at the chance to join him. Now, I pump my legs and arms, catching up to him.

Killian's different, moving faster underwater than usual. I typically leave him behind, eating my dust. Tonight, I'm fighting to keep up with him. What the fuck, Killian?

With the light strapped to my head, the beam carves through the darkness, as does Killian's, making following him easy.

He fucked Sage last night; that thought is massive in my thoughts. I smelled her on him the moment I opened the door to him. Jealousy still burns inside me that he got to that sweet girl first, and here I am, craving her like a damn fool. After inhaling her scent on him, I knew without a doubt what I had to do—make her mine as well. She just doesn't know it yet, and that was part of the reason I agreed to go hunting in the middle of the damn night.

Fish glide around us, translucent bodies, making it easier for them to hide from predators. But they're not what I'm searching for tonight. I dive deeper, Killian right ahead of me. The adrenaline coursing through me is intoxicating, yet that nagging jealousy beneath it all drives me to move faster. Chest pumping, I scan the ocean for my prey. Tonight, we're the apex predators in this ocean.

The water around us is alive with movement, the pressure deepening around me. Long serpentine fish swish below us, along with small and fast flickering underwater fireflies.

A dark shape emerges from the depths, and before I can make it out, Killian's already diving toward it. I stare down, my light revealing a mossy green fish as thick as our bodies, its mouth gaping open, filled with arm-long incisors. It's coming right for Killian, mouth agape to devour him whole.

I pause for a moment, assessing if he needs my help, but Killian is a force of nature, his movements precise and deadly as his swords manifest in his hands. I've always thought of them as cheating in battle. He wields them like they're part of his body, moving with precision.

With swift, calculated strikes, Killian decapitates the creature, the water clouding with blood. He grabs the severed fish by the tail, tying it to a rope from his belt with practiced ease. He attaches a float to it—a device that expands automatically with oxygen and drags the carcass up to the surface. We don't waste kills; everything goes to feed our people.

As he turns for his next kill, my attention catches something lurking in the shadows, watching me. It starts to circle me, and a grin spreads across my face.

It's a Derokar, exactly what I'm after. These bastards are tough, territorial, and will shred anything apart in their way.

What a good day for you to die.

I charge toward the creature, drawing the blades from my belt, aiming for the beast that comes at me from the pitch-black depths. Its teeth glow with an eerie light, razor-sharp and ready to tear me apart. A sharp fin runs along its back, jagged spikes down its sides carrying toxins potent enough to paralyze.

The Derokar jolts closer.

I dodge to the side, my legs kicking ferociously, slashing the blades through the water, aiming for its exposed flank. It's fast, but I'm faster, my movements a blur as I strike again and again. My knives rip through its tough hide, but it retaliates, a spiked tail whipping toward me, slamming into me, sending me tossed aside through the water.

Fuck.

Finally stopping myself, I twist around to find the Derokar's charging this way, its body wriggling in its fast approach. I duck under it at the last second but not before its teeth drag across my arm. Pain shoots through me.

I jam my blades upward, tearing through its underbelly. Blood fills the water quickly, a dark cloud that will soon attract a swarm of other beasts. This one convulses, snapping out of the way, but I don't let up. I dart after it, my legs and arms working overtime, sinking my knives deeper into its underbelly wound, tearing into it with ferocity.

It bucks violently, but it doesn't last long.

Tucking the blade into my belt, I thrust my arm into its lesion, past ribs and organs, until I feel its heart, still under my fingers. With a swift yank, I tear the small bag these creatures produce, right next to its heart. For something so ugly, they are highly prized for the beauty they create. I wrench it out, shoving the creature aside, and feel the small parcel in my hand with two pearls inside.

Killian appears beside me, his eyes gleaming with the thrill of the hunt. He gives me a nod, and I know it's time to head back. We can't stay here much longer with all this blood in the water. I clutch the pearls in my fist and shove myself upward.

When I glance down, I spot the swarm of at least a dozen Derokar circling. They'll come after us. Shoving the sack with pearls into the pocket of my pants, I swim frantically, pushing myself until my head breaks the surface. The boat's farther away.

Hell.

"You had to kill a damn Derokar, didn't you?" Killian growls.

We swim wildly while snatching the ropes tied to floats and his kills, dragging them with us. I dive in and help him snatch them up.

"Says you who bloodied the sea so heavily tonight that one dead Derokar would barely be noticed. They're predators and come at the smell of blood."

He grins at me, knowing he regrets nothing.

I don't either, so we push on, swimming like maniacs to reach the boat with our haul.

Just as we scramble out of the waters back up near the balcony, throwing ourselves over the railing, the swish of the sea behind us shows it's swarming with creatures.

"Like hell," he growls, desperately hauling in the catch, one hand after another, dragging on his catch.

I rush to help. Some of the dead fish are already being chomped on by those bastards. The water's become a frenzy of fins, tails, and blood as the monsters of the deep fight to reach their meal. While we pull out half of what Killian killed, the rest is lost.

"That was damn close," I mutter, stabbing my hand into my pocket to collect the pearls still in their milky mucus bag. I rip them open, collect my perfect mauve pearls, and toss the rest into the ocean. These are rare, and once upon a time, only royalty was permitted to own such beauty.

Killian chuckles, a dark sound that rumbles from his chest. He glances at the pearls in my hand, his eyes narrowing with interest. "Nice catch. Worth the trouble?"

I grin with triumph. "Always worth it," I reply, curling my hand around them. We move indoors, and Killian orders Howler to call for help to fetch the catches. I turn to watch him begin to haul the massive fish inside from the balcony, his energy endless.

"Are you all right?" I ask. "You're acting stranger than usual tonight."

"Never been fucking better," he snaps back, tossing the fish inside through the open balcony doors like they weigh nothing, and those bastards weigh ten times our weight.

"Well, seeing you're high on fuck knows what, I'll let you be," I grunt at him, not sure what's gotten into him. Sure, he spent the night fucking Sage, but since when does using all your energy during a fuck feed your adrenaline to crazy heights?

Killian doesn't respond, lost in whatever frenzy he's in, and I shake my head.

I stroll back to my room, my mind wandering. Staring at the two mauve pearls in my palm, I think of Killian and Sage, wondering how soon it'll be my turn to impress her.