Chapter 25

TWENTY-FIVE

Tara

I scoop water into my hands at the riverbank, like I've been doing every couple of hours all day. I can feel the magic in it as it rests in my palm, but I taste it to make sure. Metal and magic explodes on my tongue, a terrible combination, and so different from the rainwater we've been drinking on our journey.

Wincing, I drop what's left in my hands back into the river. "We're definitely close. It's really strong here."

My men tense at my words, although I know this news is technically good. It means we're getting closer to the source of the curse. And once we reach it, we can fix it.

I get up and dust my knees off, and we continue walking along the river. The sun is high in the sky, but it's cool this high up on the mountain. Birds sing their songs, and the sound of the water is strangely soothing.

The five of us have found a peaceful rhythm since our time together in the cave the day before. It's like everything clicked into place once we were together as a group. Not only did my relationships with the men take more steps forward, but their relationships with each other grew too.

And our night together was good. Ridiculously good.

They were so passionate and yet so careful with me, taking their time and focusing on making me happy. I wouldn't have thought they'd work so well together, especially in terms of sharing me, but they did, and it makes me really happy. Maybe I am their mate.

I turn to them, deciding just to ask. "What does it mean that I'm a mate to all of you? A mate to wolves and bears?"

How does that work?

"Being mates in a group like this means that you are our one and only," Garrick tells me, moving closer to me. "It means we'll always be together, always treat you well, always love you."

Always. Love. Me?

I try to speak, but my throat feels like it's closing up, and my eyes sting. I sputter and take a deep breath. Each of the men, somehow aware of how I'm feeling, close in the distance between us, pulling me into a hug. A hug that involves having four men squish me between them.

It's hard to say how I'm feeling, but I try, feeling silly, needing to say the words out loud. "I've only been special to two people in my whole life. My dad. And Baldemar. And I lost them both. They were the only people to make me feel important and special, and they're gone now. Baldemar has gone back home, and my dad… gone forever." Suddenly, I'm blinking back tears.

Somehow, it feels inevitable that I'll lose these men too. I don't know why that thought has me in its claws, but it does, and I can't seem to escape it. All being together. Being married. It feels different than being their mate, and I don't know why.

I feel loved again, and that feeling is terrifying.

"We aren't going anywhere," Arlys reassures me, holding me close. I let my body melt into his, and I let his warm strength calm me.

"There's nothing that can keep us away from you," Rinan adds, his voice low and soothing.

Maybe. Or maybe not. I think of what could or couldn't happen when we get to the source of the curse. I think about the possibility that I might not be good enough with my magic to help them.

I pull away from their hug and take a deep breath. It's time to tell them the truth. "I want there to be no secrets between us."

The men look at each other, eyebrows knitted. Then they stare at me with curious eyes.

I take another deep breath, trying to steady myself for this confession. "I know I said before that my mom punished me for being a bad witch, but I didn't make the truth clear. I'm really not a good witch. I meant it." I look down at my feet in shame. "For years I've been messing up spells. Someone would ask me to grow plants, and snakes would come out of the dirt instead. Or I'd try to move water, and start a fire instead. I have no idea why my magic has been working so well since I've been with you. When I told you I'd never been able to do Battle Magic I wasn't lying. We can't rely on my magic."

They don't say anything, and I don't dare to look up at them.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not the best with my magic, but I'll do everything I can to cure the Illness. You just have to know that it's possible that I can't. And it's a certainty that you got yourself a shitty witch." I let out a shaky breath and finally raise my eyes to meet theirs.

The men look at each other with grins and smiles on their faces. They honestly look like I just told them a funny story rather than poured my heart out. Which makes no sense at all.

"What are you talking about?" Arlys asks, his smile widening. "Is this a joke?"

Garrick takes a step closer to me. "Yeah, from what I've seen, you're an amazing witch. I mean, you melted a giant monster with a single word."

"You're a lot of things, but a bad witch isn't one of them," Rinan adds, his gaze gentling.

"You don't understand…"

Drogo snorts. "Tara, you're a good witch. We have faith in you. But we don't expert perfection. If you can't figure out the cure, we'll find another solution. By working together."

"You're serious?" I ask, staring.

He gives me a smile that makes my pulse race. "I'm serious."

Arlys slips his hand in mine. "You made the valknut in the Deadly Passage. You made the leaves dance for the children. You made magical swords and daggers. You helped my father feel better. Over and over again, you've used your magic, and it's worked perfectly. I think whoever you were back home doesn't matter, because, here, you're a good witch."

I stare. "I hadn't thought to look at it like that."

Since coming here, I've been using my magic really well, even discovering magic I didn't know I could use. I've never once been the crappy witch I was back home. Maybe something really is different. Maybe I'm different.

"I just don't get it. Why am I doing so much better here than I ever have my entire life?"

How am I so easily using my magic here, but when I would try my hardest back home, all I did was fail? I shake my head, not understanding. All I've known is failure. Why would it be any different here?

Rinan takes my hand. "Without all the threats, fear, pressure, and punishments, maybe you are actually a really good witch. Deep down. They just never gave you a safe place to show it."

Those two words don't go together next to my name. I'm not a "good witch." I've never been good at anything except Metal Magic, and that's useless. Witches don't need weapons.

"I don't know if I believe that, but I hope you're right," I confess.

I wish I was as good as they think I am. They need me to be this good because their lives actually depend on it. I let out a breath. I have to do what I can to save all of them.

"I believe it," Drogo says, walking over and hugging me tightly before releasing me. "We all do."

My men gather around me, something I've come to love that they do. They wrap me up in their arms, holding me and making me feel so loved. And squished. If I didn't have a thousand memories where I felt like human garbage, maybe I'd believe them. But I try to, I really do.

Either way, I feel relieved I told them the truth. A little of the pressure I felt is off my shoulders. But still, it's there. A whole shifter kingdom is depending on me. A fuck-up. A failure. But their only chance, even still.