Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

Tara

All the men are huddled up, talking together, although I can't hear what they're saying, and I'm not sure I want to. They must be talking about me. The animated conversation between them is taking a long time to conclude, and none of them look happy.

I almost snort. Who am I kidding? Of course they're talking about me.

I shift uncomfortably on the rock, feeling uneasy. I don't want to be included in the conversation or deal with the fallout of whatever they're talking about. Time to get the hell out of here. I decide I'm going to walk around. Get a little air and a little space.

Run away, maybe.

I stand from the rock I've been sitting on and stretch as casually as possible, then head off. The foliage on this mountain is unlike anything I've seen before. The greens are deep and the flowers burst with color. This is where I want to be. Not dealing with grumpy shifters who are probably discussing the fact that I'm a dangerous traitor. I pause to inspect a particularly pretty flower.

"Mind if I join you?" Garrick asks.

I jump and whirl around, my heartbeat racing and calming in the span of a minute. "Not at all."

The truth is, I enjoy his company. He makes me feel free, and not like I'm locked into this forced marriage with men who can't stand me. More than that, I like him, and I believe that he likes me too.

And that he wants to be with me when all of this is done. Garrick is my future. My freedom. A safe place to land when I'm done saving the shifters. I'm surprisingly excited for that life with him, even if my heart hurts thinking about losing my wolves.

Garrick picks a beautiful purple flower and holds it to his nose, breathing in its aroma. Then he walks towards me and gently puts it in my hair, his hand lingering on my cheek. "A flower for my bride."

My smile grows wider at his gesture, and I put my hand over his. "No one has ever given me a flower before."

Ever. No one has even shown any interest in me, friendly or otherwise, outside of the blacksmith back home. I accepted that no one probably would, and that things like flowers, kisses, and romance might be impossible for me to ever experience. His unexpected gesture wakes up something inside of me. Something that longs for more of this.

Garrick's body goes rigid. "That's impossible! How can that be?" He steps back and looks at me, like he hasn't seen me before. "You're stunning, and the nicest person I've ever met. No one has ever appreciated that about you enough to give you a flower?" His soft voice soothes the hurt inside of me, piecing together a fracture I didn't know was there.

If this beautiful man can see me this way, why was I so lonely?

Before I know what I'm doing, I start to explain. To him, and to myself. "I don't exactly fit in with the other witches in my coven. I'm the black sheep, so no one has ever thought much of me."

His expression is one of complete disbelief. "Nonsense. You're powerful and beautiful. I imagine everyone would flock to you just to be in your presence."

He doesn't understand witches. And he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.

I fumble with my words. "Stop. Please. You don't have to flatter me. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not beautiful or special in the least bit. I've seen beautiful, special women. I used to live with a lot of them, and I know for a fact that I'm not one of them, and that's okay." I'm not even close.

As I look away, I can feel the burning intensity of Garrick's gaze on me. Unable to help myself, I glance up at him, and I'm shocked when I can see the pain in his eyes, as if he knows my deepest insecurities and is trying to soothe them with his presence. Which isn't possible. Is it?

Garrick takes my face in his hand, staring directly at me with his incredible hazel eyes. "You are beautiful and special. You absolutely take my breath away. I have never been more attracted to any woman in my entire life."

I shake my head. There's no way I'm believing that. He's seen, and probably been with, hundreds of women – if not more. I can't be at the top of that list. There's absolutely no way that's possible. He's just saying that because I'm right here in front of him.

Garrick's face softens. Is it pity? Ugh, I don't need that. I stare at him, study him… and realize it's sadness. But why?

"What have your experiences with men been like?" he asks, and there's a note to his voice that I don't understand.

I guffaw. What experience? I helped the blacksmith as much as I could, but he was like a second father to me. Men don't notice me. They don't look my way. They don't like me. They don't want me. Maybe because of the way my mom isolated me, or maybe because they didn't want to be noticed by mom… or maybe just because I wasn't worth the trouble. I don't know.

Deciding to be honest, I admit the truth, "I don't have any experience with any men."

I don't know that I've been missing out either. Having four husbands now just feels complicated and overwhelming. Especially when I'm never enough for them. There was never even a moment when the wolves saw me as anything but a means to an end, no matter how tenderly they touched me sometimes.

"Has anyone ever kissed you or held your hand?" he asks softly. "I mean, back at home?"

I shake my head, feeling embarrassed. "No. Not until I met the wolves. And we both know how that's gone."

With them, I'm a means to an end. I don't know why they've touched me. Or kissed me. Or been kind to me. Maybe it was all just part of the act. I don't have an answer to that either.

"They're fools."

I crack a smile. "Maybe." But I still care about them.

A small smile twists his lips. "And I don't exactly mind your lack of experience with other men. It just means I don't have to make a list of men to kill."

I laugh, my cheeks feeling hot. "I guess it's a good thing no man has found me attractive until now. Not for my self-esteem, but for us."

His muscles tense. "Just so you know," he begins softly, "I don't believe for one minute that no man found you attractive. It's impossible. There must have been another reason they stayed away. It doesn't matter what that reason is, but you should know that."

Is he right? Truly, I don't know.

We stand in silence for a few moments until he takes my hand and leads me through the field of flowers. The vibrant colors are a nice distraction from everything I just revealed to Garrick. He's not judging me though, and he's not pushing me away, so I haven't scared him off with how pathetic I am.

My heart feels happy as we walk. I don't know why. Maybe because some part of me believes Garrick. His words heal something inside me I didn't know was broken.

We both stop. My instincts sharpen. Something feels… wrong. We hear a rumble. The ground shakes and cracks beneath our feet. Before my mind can wrap around what's happening, the earth swallows us up, and we're falling. Falling into darkness.