Chapter 22

Keir

I was a dick. No, I was worse than a dick.

My anger was misplaced. Lillian didn't understand the significance of our back pain, but it made my heart rise to my throat when she told me she was hurting. I could handle being hurt. My father had been punishing me for centuries, but her ? The moment I made the connection, I nearly vomited.

He hurt her.

Because of me.

It was all my fault.

And not just the back pain—the entire shitshow. She was here in Hell because of me. She was defenseless because I wanted her to need me—need us. I kept her hidden, isolated, just for him to find her anyway. It was stupid to keep her at the flat in the first place. I should have had the twins take her somewhere else—anywhere else—but I didn't want to be away from her. I wanted to keep her here for my own selfish needs, yet I continued to hurt her, and I couldn't stop, not even now.

Her shoulders were slumped, eyes pinched shut to avoid looking at me. I didn't blame her, but I couldn't stand for this. I demanded she look at me, but I winced as I heard my sharp tone and followed it up with a please to hopefully soften the demand into a request.

She sniffled as she blinked her eyes open.

My heart sank.

Those gorgeous, emerald green eyes that stole my breath on a daily basis were dull and tired. I did this. I hurt her. Guilt was so heavy in my chest, it was difficult to breathe.

She must've been expecting me to say something, because she rolled her eyes before starting to get up. I squeezed her thighs, my hands acutely aware they were actually touching her skin, burning, even.

"It'll never be enough, but for what it's worth…" I trailed off, not sure if apologizing was even worth it. She deserved more than that, more than what I could give her. An apology would do nothing to repair the damage between us.

"It still helps to hear it," she said quietly, her eyes holding steady with mine.

I swallowed hard. She was right. I stroked the soft skin of her thigh with my thumb, eliciting a tiny, nearly inaudible gasp from her. "I'm sorry." She pursed her lips. "Truly."

She didn't react for several seconds, and I started to think I'd actually broken her, wrung her of every emotion.

"Thank you."

I might not have heard it had I not seen her lips utter the words. The corner of my mouth twitched in response, and I nodded.

Her eyes lit up a bit, and her posture improved.

"I'll forgive you if…" I nodded at her words, eager to hear the cost of her forgiveness, willing to give her anything she desired. "You tell me what upset you at breakfast."

I pressed my lips together, my body going rigid of its own accord. At that moment, Lillian knew I wasn't going to tell her. She dropped her head with a sigh, chuckling bitterly.

"Of course not."

She stood, my body instantly missing her warmth, and offered her hand to me. I didn't need her help, but I was in no position to refuse her. Once I was standing, Lillian picked up the daggers we'd been practicing with and returned them to the rack.

I couldn't move. I wanted to explain myself and let her in on the big secret I'd been keeping from her, but I couldn't. I wouldn't let her get wrapped up with me. Just because she was my destined love didn't mean we should be together. I was already hurting her enough, and we weren't even together. I couldn't imagine the damage I would cause if I held her heart in my hands.

"For what it's worth," her voice dragged me from my thoughts. She stood at the gym door, holding it open a crack. "I still forgive you."

I'd never felt so worthless and alone as when the door closed behind her.

Fuck!

***

The anticipation for the council meeting clouded the air at breakfast the next morning. The meeting was held at my father's building in the city, to determine the first trial. He'd ‘graciously' given me the day off to be with my ‘pet'.

Last night, the flat was noisy. Clearly, the night's objective was to distract Lillian from the looming gloom of today. It must've worked. Her satisfied moans filled the halls, invading every corner of the flat and my mind.

I could picture her under the twins, writhing as she came for them over and over. The pangs of jealousy made me sick and kept me up all night.

She didn't have a chance to be sad last night, but now? She held her head low, her shoulders slumping, no trace of a smile on her face.

I felt powerless. I wanted to fix this. I hated seeing her like this.

"What if Mavis came over this week?" Lillian's head shot up, skepticism in her eyes. She waited suspiciously. "Stay the night, perhaps? Like a girl's night?" She couldn't fight the smile that overtook her. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "I'd like that." Her phone was immediately out, and she was no doubt texting Mavis to tell her the news.

"Did not expect that," Aiden said quietly to our brother.

Nicholas elbowed him in the ribs.

I wasn't sure if my brother had intended for me to hear his sly remark, but a stab of guilt hit me in the chest at the thought of everyone being so surprised that I'd do something nice for Lillian. Had I really been that difficult?

Lillian was beaming with joy but still looked hesitant, like she was waiting for me to tell her it was all a joke.

I really am a dick …

Lillian snorted, making it known she'd heard my inner thought, and gave me a look that said she'd been waiting for me to come to this conclusion all along. She sat taller, straighter, the remnants of her smile sticking around as she finished breakfast.

Nicholas looked at me with pride, as if I'd done something admirable. My chest warmed as I felt my own settle in. I was finally the reason for a smile on our gir—Lillian's face. It wasn't a feeling I'd ever expected, and it felt fucking amazing.

"So when do we leave?" her soft voice broke the serene silence.

All eyes were on me. I looked at the clock on the wall. The meeting would start in two hours, and our destination was less than fifteen minutes from the flat. Usually, I would be super early to everything, especially meetings involving my father, but this was different. I knew none of us, especially Lillian, wanted to arrive early and sit around to chat with everyone.

"Hour and a half?" I heard myself ask instead of tell, seeking Lillian's approval.

Three heads nodded at my answer.

"So… we have time for a quick movie before we go?" Lillian asked in a shaky voice as she rubbed her arm. "Just to calm my nerves?"

How was I supposed to refuse her after making her so happy?

I wasn't.

So I didn't.

That was why we left with barely fifteen minutes to get to the council meeting, but for once in my life, I didn't let it stress me out. Being late was more than worth it.

Watching Lillian fall in love with the movie characters and feel their emotions as they met, fell in love, encountered conflict, and eventually found their way back to one another was one of the most adorable things I've ever witnessed. It helped that her guard was down, meaning I heard every ‘aw', ‘that's so sweet', and ‘goals' that passed through her beautiful mind.

Jealousy prodded at me as the twins held her close between them during the film, looking all cozy and in love. Neither of them really watched the movie; they watched her. That, and shot me teasing glances, knowing I was observing them, even though I tried to avoid their gazes every time they looked my way.

There were several attempts at getting Lillian aroused, primarily by Aiden. They'd grab her tits, run their hands up her thighs, and pull her in for deep kisses. Even though it was my brothers touching her, my cock was rock hard watching her. I had to grab a pillow to hide my tattletale appendage.

At one point, Nicholas kissed the sensitive spot on her neck just below her ear. Her moan caught everyone's attention, making her blush, but she ignored it, focusing on her movie instead.

That sexy little sound almost made me stomp over there, sweep her into my arms, and plop her on my lap for the rest of the movie. Almost.

"Stay with us, little one," Aiden told her as we exited the car at the office building.

She nodded her head, nerves rendering her speechless.

"It's gonna be okay, baby," Nicholas said gently as he wrapped his arm around her and tugged her close.

"We won't let anything happen to you, princess." She turned to look at me with huge, dilated eyes. My chest physically hurt seeing her like this. "I promise," I added in a low, steady voice as I extended my pinky to her.

She looked between my face and finger a couple of times before pulling away from Nicholas and wrapping her pinky around mine. Hope filled her wet, green eyes as our bodies touched in that one small place, but it meant everything to her. I felt it.

Her eyes held mine, blinking fast as she smiled at me again, a blush rushing to her cheeks. A fire ignited in my veins, and my knees threatened to give out. I was so in over my head with this woman, but I'd happily go up in flames for her.

I was losing my grip, my control, and my will to keep away from her.

It was thrilling.

It was dangerous.