Chapter 13

13

Bella’s letter was never delivered to Issie, and it sat on a silver plate in the Dutton townhouse for months, until Lady Dutton herself threw it into the fire the next time she returned to town.

Nor had Bella seen Issie’s letter informing her of her elopement with Dr. Jordan. Therefore, as Bella made the trip to her grandfather’s apothecary shop, she was tormented by thoughts of Issie’s marriage to Lord Brooke, along with half-formed ideas of somehow stopping it, for the entire journey.

It might have been just as well that she was kept preoccupied by such morose thoughts, since she wore such a shuttered, unhappy expression that the few men who attempted to harass her along the way soon desisted. They found it disconcerting when Bella looked right through them as if she didn’t see them, which she didn’t.

Her last stop was at an inn in Banbury, and she tiredly got off the stagecoach twelve hours after she first got on it and went to ask the innkeeper about hiring a conveyance to take her to her grandfather’s village.

This was only her second time traveling such a long distance, and her first time traveling completely alone, but she was no longer a society belle. She was now of a class of persons who must work for a living, and chaperones and maidservants and private carriages were things of the past.

Not that she planned to seek a position just yet. Her plan was to help her grandfather at his apothecary for a few weeks or months, while she figured out what to do.

She only hoped he was still alive.

Bella had diligently corresponded with her maternal grandmother until she had passed away three years ago, but her grandfather was not as avid a correspondent, and had only written to her once in the past three years, and that had been more than two years ago. Bella had never met either of her maternal grandparents in person, or at least not since she’d been old enough to remember it. They would never have thought of paying her a visit while she lived with Lady Strickland, who would probably not have received them if they had called. And Bella had never been permitted to visit them, either, though they lived no more than twelve miles from Fenborough Hall.

She was grateful that they had exchanged letters, though, because she knew exactly where to find her grandfather. At least, she hoped she did.

She was extremely relieved when the carriage turned down Rockston’s high street and she saw the sign advertising her grandfather’s shop. The summer days were long, so even though it was past seven in the evening and she’d been traveling since before daybreak, the sun had not yet set. So she was able to clearly read the wooden sign that hung over the shop door:

Perry, Apothecary just say the word. I haven’t already done so because plenty of young ladies seem to be pining for the good vicar. And as for Jack, well, the boy’s not very polished and perhaps a little young to be thinking of marriage, but time will cure many of his faults.”

“I know, and I wish I could like one of them well enough to marry. I would be happy to have my future decided and be able to settle so near you. But I keep comparing them to another gentleman I knew—someone I did admire—and I realize I don’t have even a smidgeon of the tender feelings for either of them that a woman should have for the man she chooses for her husband.”

“Why did you not marry that man?”

“He was affianced to my cousin. Besides, I was not worthy of him,” Bella said.

“I do not believe that,” her grandfather said. “I’m sure you’re worthy of any man you set your heart on.”

Bella smiled at him and reached out to briefly squeeze his hand. “But you’re obviously prejudiced in my favor.”

“Is it because you’re my granddaughter that you feel you’re not worthy of him? Is he a nobleman?”

“Oh, Grandpapa, do not say such a thing; I’m very proud to be your granddaughter. But yes, he is an earl, and as such would not choose someone like me for his wife. Even Mr. Goddard has his doubts about whether I’m good enough for him,” Bella said with a wry smile.

She was concerned when her grandfather didn’t return her smile, but frowned instead. She hoped she hadn’t hurt him by telling him what she had. But then he sighed and began explaining what was really bothering him.

“You’re so much like your mother. She was like a rare and beautiful bird that could not be caged. And I never told her the truth about herself. I regretted I had not done so, after it was too late. But who would have thought we would lose her so soon? She was only a few years older than you, you know, when she died. And your little brother died with her. I always wondered if I had been there…if they’d had an experienced doctor or midwife…Oh, well,” the old man said, shaking himself out of his reverie and looking alert once again. “Princess Charlotte died in childbirth, so I suppose it can happen to any woman, princess or peasant.

“But I apologize my dear, I’ve strayed from the point. What I did not tell your mother is that, though my wife and I loved her like our own, she was not, in fact, the daughter of an apothecary. And though I wish I could have kept her here with me, and I wish the same for you, she was as entitled to marry the son of a marquis as any young woman making her curtsy at St. James’s Palace.”

“What? I don’t understand…”

“Though I suppose they would have held the manner of her birth against her, had they known. She was born on the wrong side of the blanket, you see. However, your case is entirely different. Your parents were legally married, and your grandparents are both members of the peerage.”

“My grandparents—” Bella said, looking at the man she’d thought to be her grandfather in shock.

He heaved another great sigh. “I was being selfish, I suppose, not telling you sooner. But your grandmother and I did feel your mother belonged to us, from the moment she was placed in our arms as a wee bawling baby. I delivered her, you see. Her mother couldn’t keep her, and when she entrusted her to our care it felt like a…gift from heaven, especially since we couldn’t have any children of our own. And you’re so like her. I wanted to believe you truly were my granddaughter. To keep you beside me if I could.”

Bella was so shocked she didn’t know what to say. She had so many questions, but she was also disappointed that she wasn’t actually related to this kindly man she’d grown to love. “Don’t worry. You won’t be rid of me so easily,” she finally said, and was relieved when he smiled.

“I’m glad to hear it. And you’re welcome to stay with me until I die. I’ll leave you the cottage, too, so you’ll always have a place to live, though that might be awkward if Jack does eventually take over the shop. But we’ll worry about that later. For now, I do think you should meet your real grandmother.”

“She’s still alive?” Bella asked, surprised.

“She was a few weeks ago. She just came back to her country estate from London. And she lives only ten miles away. I could take you there, if you would like to meet her.”

“Yes, I would like to meet my grandmother,” Bella said. “If she’s agreeable to it, that is. She may not want her secret revealed. After all, she’s kept it successfully for, what? Forty years now?”

“True enough. I’ll send her a letter asking if she’d like to meet you.”

Little did Bella know that she had already met her.

Grandpa Perry sent a letter to Bella’s grandmother that very day, asking permission to bring Bella to meet her, and after receiving an affirmative response, he hired a carriage and they were on their way a few days later.

Bella hadn’t even asked her grandmother’s name, as it never occurred to her that she might be acquainted with her. Though on the drive, Grandpa Perry did tell Bella other details of her grandmother’s life.

“She was married at seventeen to a much older man and bore him a son before she was widowed. Then she fell in love with your grandfather, who was unfortunately already married.”

Bella’s eyes grew large at this statement, but she was careful not to express any judgment. However, her grandfather could obviously read her expression. “I do not approve of adultery, either, but unfortunately the nobility live by a different set of standards than the rest of us. And ‘where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.’?”

Bella wondered briefly if Lord Brooke would be faithful to poor Issie and then quickly banished the thought. When she didn’t reply, Grandpa Perry continued his story:

“Apparently, the man she loved was trapped in an unhappy, unfruitful marriage, and he believed himself incapable of siring children. However, it turned out it was his wife who was infertile, which became obvious when your grandmother found herself expecting his child, with no husband to provide it with a name. So she retired to a cottage on the grounds of her country estate and called on an accoucheur from a short distance away to deliver her baby. And that’s what brought first your mother, then you, into my life.”

Bella smiled at him, relieved that her mother had found such a loving family when the outcome could have been far different. “What is my grandmother’s name?” she asked idly, thinking it made little difference but that she’d learn it soon enough anyway.

“She is the Dowager Viscountess de Ros.”

“Lady de Ros!” Bella said, surprised. “Why, I have met her.”

“And she told you nothing of her relationship to you?”

“She did not know I was Arabella Grant at the time.” Bella then explained to her grandfather the masquerade that she and her cousin had participated in during the London season, which she had not told him about before, preferring to leave it all behind her when she left London. Still, now that a month had gone by, she was able to give a condensed version of the tale composedly enough. Though she did feel a painful wrenching when she told him of her final days in London.

“I knew Issie would be happier with Lord Brooke than she would be with her aunt, who would treat her in the same harsh, critical way her mother had. I couldn’t expose her to that, Grandpapa,” Bella said earnestly, as if to convince herself as much as him. Because she’d had second, third, and fourth thoughts about the wisdom of leaving like she had, without telling Issie how she felt about Lord Brooke, or telling Lord Brooke her true identity. Though at the time she hadn’t even known her true identity. She wondered what Lord Brooke would think if he discovered his nephews’ grandmother was also her grandmother? But more than anything she wondered if he had still agreed to marry Issie once he’d discovered she was not the woman he thought she was. Bella couldn’t help hoping, no matter what she’d said about Issie being better off married to Lord Brooke, that they would not actually make it to the altar.

“I doubt Lord Brooke would agree to marry your cousin after having courted you, my dear.” Apparently, Grandpa Perry’s thoughts were running along similar lines.

“I don’t know. He sounded as if he’d come to believe in the wisdom of making an arranged marriage.”

“After he fell in love with you.”

“I am not so sure that he did,” Bella said. “I hoped that he had, but he believed me to be his fiancée from the moment we first met. Maybe he was just courting me because that was what was expected of him.”

“I find that hard to believe. But we will discuss this later. We have arrived.”

Bella was startled to find that this was true, as the carriage had stopped at an elaborate gate, which was opened by the gatekeeper. Bella was suddenly panic-stricken, and not just because she was going to have to confess to that intimidating, distinguished noblewoman—who was her grandmother!—that she’d met her under a false name while masquerading as her cousin. She was also nervous at the thought that Lord Brooke was a frequent visitor to this place. What if he was here at this very moment? What would she say?

Fortunately—or unfortunately; Bella was so confused she wasn’t sure what she wanted—when she asked the butler if Lord Brooke was in residence, she was told he was not. But Lady de Ros was at home to them and they were soon admitted to her presence.

Her home was just as intimidating as she was, and Bella was too distracted by the grandeur of the drawing room they’d just entered to immediately give her grandmother her attention. Bella had grown accustomed to more humble surroundings over the past few weeks while living with Grandpa Perry. She was looking around, wide-eyed, at the grand salon while her grandmother greeted her “grandfather.”

When she finally did look their way, her grandfather gestured for her to come forward, and she obediently did so, curtsying before Lady de Ros. She couldn’t ever imagine calling this regal woman Grandmama.

Lady de Ros seemed as distracted as Bella, and barely looked at Bella when she curtsied before her. She merely nodded her head in acknowledgment, her eyes downcast, and finally said, “Please be seated.”

“My lady, I must start by making a confession—” Bella said, only to stop short when the older lady winced and held out her hand.

“ You must make a confession. That’s rich—” And then she finally looked Bella in the face and stopped mid-sentence, her brow wrinkled. “Wait, have I not met you before?”

“Yes, my lady, that is what I must confess to you. We met in London, at the theatre with Lord Brooke. But you were told my name was—”

“Lady Isabelle,” Lady de Ros finished. “Why did you pretend to be your cousin?”

Bella gave a brief explanation of the reason, and was surprised when the first question Lady de Ros asked was: “Does Lord Brooke know?”

“I did not tell him. I assume he knows now, as he informed me before I left London that he was affianced to Lady Isabelle.”

“Well, at least I’m not the only one who has been guilty of deception, though yours pales in comparison with mine,” Lady de Ros said with a twisted smile. And then her smile faded and she once again dropped her gaze from Bella’s, and in a very tentative, humble manner that did not fit at all the image Bella had of her, she said: “You are willing to forgive me, then?” Bella’s heart was touched, and she rushed from her seat to drop on the sofa next to her grandmother and grab her hands.

“Forgive you? For making sure my mother had a loving, secure home when you could not keep her? For giving her to a man who cherished and loved her as if she were his own and accepted me just as readily? I would rather thank you,” Bella told her, and her grandmother dropped her head on Bella’s chest and wept.

A week later, Bella was living with Lady de Ros, though she still wasn’t calling her Grandmama, as it would have raised too many awkward questions. They eventually decided to tell people that Bella was a distant relation who had come to serve as Lady de Ros’s companion, which was essentially true. However, the older lady insisted that Bella address her less formally, so the two had finally agreed on “Rossie.” (Though Bella felt very awkward the first few times she used it, as it seemed so dreadfully in formal.)

Lady de Ros had invited Bella to live with her the very day her grandfather had brought her there, and though Bella knew it saddened her grandfather that she was leaving him, she thought he’d probably foreseen that very thing when he’d arranged for them to meet. Lady de Ros had also made it clear that he was welcome to visit “their” grandchild at any time, and he was coming to dinner that same week.

It was a huge relief to Bella to escape her two annoying suitors, and to have a place to live indefinitely. Though it seemed she wouldn’t always be living at the family’s main estate.

“I removed to the dower house when my son married, but after my daughter-in-law died I moved back, so that my grandsons would have someone to come home to on their holidays from school. But when my eldest grandson marries, I will again remove to the dower house. And you will be welcome to come with me. That is, if you are not married yourself by then.”

Bella just murmured her thanks, as she had no desire to discuss her dismal marital prospects.

“Where are your grandsons now?” Bella asked, as it occurred to her there was still the danger of Lord Brooke paying a visit when they came home.

“They’re in the Lake District. My eldest grandson fancies himself a poet,” Lady de Ros said with a smile. Bella suddenly realized that Issie was no longer her only cousin, that she now had two new cousins, though they were not quite as closely related to her, as they were once-removed or something of the sort. Her family relationships through Lady de Ros were a little confusing, and she hadn’t yet taken the time to figure them out.

“Is Lord Brooke with them?” Bella asked as casually as she could manage, though her heart rate had accelerated somewhat.

“I don’t think so. I believe he is at his own estate, Bluffton Castle.”

“He told me he comes here frequently to help with the management of the estate.”

“Yes, he will probably be paying a visit in a month or two, after the boys return.”

“I see,” Bella said, and wondered if she could go stay with her grandfather at that time. “You have not…received an invitation to his wedding?”

“No. Have you heard from your cousin?”

“No, and I find it very strange that I have not. We have never been separated this long before. On Tuesday it was a month.”

“Perhaps you should write to her,” Lady de Ros suggested.

“I am not even sure where she is. She was supposed to go with her great-aunt to Warwickshire, but she kept insisting she wouldn’t go. I did write to her before I left London and told her I would be at my grandfather’s. I had hoped she would at least write to me there,” Bella said, sounding very forlorn.

“And you’re sure that she and Lord Brooke are definitely affianced? He appeared to be quite enamored of you, when I last saw him.”

“He thought I was Isabelle,” Bella said. “He thought we were engaged.”

“That’s a pity. If you had married Lord Brooke, I would have still seen you quite often. And I would have been relieved to see your future so happily settled. I won’t live forever, after all. Though of course I will make sure you’re provided for when I die.”

Bella thought it funny that both her grandparents were anxious to marry her off to “secure her future,” and it seemed the most important qualification in their view was whether or not the prospective husband lived nearby. Though she was grateful that they wanted to keep her close. It made such a pleasant change from the sixteen years she’d lived with Lady Strickland, who had made no secret of the fact that she resented Bella’s presence.

“You should send a letter to Fenborough Hall and tell your cousin that you’re living here now. Perhaps your first letter went astray. And if she’s not in residence at Fenborough Hall at the moment, the letter should eventually reach her.”

Bella acknowledged the wisdom of this suggestion and immediately went up to her room to compose a letter to Isabelle. While she was gone, Lady de Ros wrote her own letter. To Lord Brooke.