16. Atlas

16

ATLAS

I woke up with a start, my skin clammy with sweat and heart racing in a panic. Max's side of my bed was empty, but I shoved my face into the pillow she usually slept on, shamelessly breathing in the smell of her.

I bit back my frustrated groan at the shadow of her, the echo I wanted so badly to be solid right now. My dick was already stiffening, and I felt the wolf settle deep in my chest as her scent engulfed us. He liked having her scent nearby.

But I wanted more than her smell right now, more than just the knowledge that she was near, that she was ours. I wanted to be buried into her wet cunt, dripping and pleading for me as I filled her.

I had half a mind to go storming through the cabin until I found her, so that I could take her before the rest of the house woke up—let them hear her moans of pleasure as their morning alarm.

I shoved my hand down my sweatpants and ran it over my shaft, the nightmare that had woken me shifting into a much more pleasant fantasy .

Fucking hell, that girl drove me wild, even when she wasn't here.

I imagined her lips wrapped around me, large eyes watching my groan of pleasure as she took me deeper into her mouth. Licked my lips at the memory of her slick heat on my tongue. I could practically hear the little moans she made when I touched her a little more roughly than she'd anticipated, her pleasure deepening in surprise, excitement as I pounded into her, teeth buried into her shoulder. The fanghole wasn't the only one who liked to bite, to mark her.

My dick throbbed, hard and demanding. There was no going back to sleep now, not until I took care of this.

My strokes grew hurried as I thought of her sleeping, naked and sated, the golden-brown expanse of her skin pebbled and shivering. Fuck, even the thought of her folded against one of my team members, grinding and finding release on a hand that wasn't mine, sent me to the very edge.

She'd gotten a lot better at closing us out in those moments, though there'd been a few times where her orgasm ripped through her with too much intensity, and she'd lost control. We didn't care anymore. Those moments quickly devolved into all of us panting at her side, passing her from one to the next in a bubble of lust that pulsed through the cabin.

The memory of a few nights ago, when the vampire took her pussy while I filled her ass, both of our teeth buried on either side of her neck as she writhed between us and screamed to oblivion, took me over the edge.

One more pump and I came into my hand, not even annoyed that I hadn't had the foresight to grab a shirt or tissue first.

I cleaned myself up with my sweatpants before tossing them over the side of the bed. I'd do laundry later. Now that my raging hard-on was taken care of, I wanted another few hours of sleep .

But the universe had a different idea.

A single, sharp ray of light pierced through the window across from me, shining right in my eye like that was its only purpose.

I groaned, trying to slide back into a more blissful dream.

Ten minutes of chasing sleep and I still couldn't catch it. Fucking hell, it was early.

I turned around, pressed my eyelids tight, praying to the gods for a few more hours of sleep. Hell, I'd be happy with twenty minutes.

Because when I woke up, it would mean that today was here. The day of our mission.

And while it had felt good, these past few weeks, to slip back into protector mode, to focus on a target, to have a purpose, I wasn't ready to admit that this was our best shot. Wasn't ready to admit that I'd failed, in all those hours spent poring over every document Evelyn and Levi had ever obtained from council, to come up with a better plan. One that would keep us all together. One that would keep her safe.

She'd stayed with the vampire last night, lucky fuck. He was the one who'd get to go with her on our mission too. But when Wade and Eli pressed him on it, presenting a logical argument as to why she should stay with one of us last night, he got that faraway look in his eyes, shrouded in darkness.

It was a look that made even me a little wary around the guy.

I'd nodded, and told them to fuck off. Darius might not be my favorite person in the world, but if there was anyone capable of bringing him back to himself, it was Max.

I would know.

Between her steady, calming presence, and Bishop's ability to keep me busy, I barely even saw the visions of my dead teammates superimposed onto this reality anymore.

I still had nightmares every night, and still didn't quite feel like myself, but over the last few weeks, the lasting marks of the drude had started to disperse.

My jaw clenched when I thought of Sarah.

She was still locked in that agony, alone and untouchable.

Shame burned low in my gut when I thought about her locked in that room, the last surviving victim of the drude's attacks.

At first, I couldn't bring myself to visit her, couldn't stomach the sight of her pain, knowing intimately the depths of it.

Then, with the mission, I'd grown busy, letting myself get sucked back into protocols and planning.

With a sigh, I threw the blanket off of me and got ready for the day.

If my brain wasn't going to let me soak in these last few bits of sleep before the hellstorm that was coming today, then it seemed only fitting that I go visit the girl I'd been avoiding for weeks.

"Max with you?" Rowan asked, emerging from a backroom as soon as I stepped foot in the medical center. "She should be sleeping. Resting up before today."

I cocked a brow at him. He was going on the mission with her, and I knew for a fact that the guy had been sleeping fewer than two hours a night. When he wasn't with his sister, prepping for today, he was holed up in this building, taking care of as many people as he could.

He was good at it.

"Ro? Something wrong?" Arnell emerged behind him, shirtless and hair rumpled as he quickly scanned the room for obvious threat. "Atlas?"

I nodded towards the room where Sarah was kept, but didn't bother saying anything else. The one good thing about what I'd been through was that people stopped expecting small talk and niceties from me.

Not that they really ever did before either .

Ro grunted then tossed me a key before shuffling his boyfriend back into the room where they'd probably set up a cot to catch a few minutes of sleep during their vigil.

The med center had calmed down some and was unusually quiet today. Everyone was mostly asleep.

And Arnell being the resident tech genius, had been just as busy as the rest of us, trying to stay afloat and on top of information—neither of them would argue with me if it meant risking one of the rare hours they actually got to exist in the same building together.

I took a deep breath, slid the key into the lock, and then froze.

"Fucking coward," I muttered to myself.

If Sarah was locked in her nightmares, the least I could do was fucking sit there with her for a little while. I was the only one who truly knew what horrors she was going through.

With one more deep breath, I turned the handle before I had another chance to chicken out, and forced myself inside, shutting the door a little too loudly behind me.

She was alone, crouched in a corner, head ducked between her knees, her bedding largely untouched.

She looked like a shadow of the girl we'd brought back with us from hell. She'd obviously lost weight, but there was a sunkenness about her, hollowed and hunched where she'd been confident and proud before.

My throat clogged with empathy as I listened to her muttering nonsensical words to herself, no louder than a hushed whisper.

She gave no sign that she'd heard me enter or noticed me at all. Not even when I hunched down next to her, my feet less than an inch from hers.

Agony was etched into her every muscle, her every line, and my eyes clouded over at the memory of my own .

I'd made it out, thanks to Max, but Sarah had been locked inside of herself for so much longer than I had.

These last few weeks, finding out where and how I fit in my life now? It seemed so fucking selfish in comparison to what she was going through.

My hand shook as I rested it on her shoulder, my ass falling to the floor with a graceless thud as I held back the black anguish creeping through my thoughts.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah," I whispered, my voice shaky, fingers gripping into her bony shoulder blade. "I'm so fucking sorry. You shouldn't have been there. It was about me, not you. And he took it out on you. I'm so, so sorry."

My cheeks were damp now, and I sniffed as I wiped away the tears with the back of my sleeve. I didn't have a right to feel this. I was here for her, not me.

"You're strong," I said, my voice cracking. "You can get through this. You will get through this. We just got you back. We won't let you die like this. I'm sorry. I'm sorr—" I choked on my words as I fought to get the apology out. "I should have come sooner. I should have been here with you."

She'd always been there for me.

For all of us.

And I'd let her down twice now. Once when she was taken by werewolves, and now.

Something tight gripped deep in my chest as I held onto her shoulders, willing her to hear me, even though I knew that no one had been able to get a response from her.

Hell, even her mother, Declan's aunt, had tried. She'd arrived at The Lodge a few weeks ago and spent almost every waking hour trying to pull something from the daughter she'd already lost once.

The tightness grew painful, my eyes blacking out around the edges .

And Sarah's breathing changed, her chest moving in slow, tandem heaves with mine.

I felt her muscles flex beneath my palms, her lips parted in a silent gasp as she leaned into my pressure, like I was pulling her to me, tugging her through some invisible string.

I fell back, stunned, my heart racing now as I broke contact with her.

She slumped back down, her back falling into the corner, head bowed toward the ground, like I'd imagined the entire thing.

Fucking hell. How hadn't we thought of it before now?

Max hadn't taught us to heal. It was the one power that took too much from her when she used it. It had taken months of practice, and still she frequently ran herself into the ground in the early days, occasionally even flirting with a coma—or death—from pushing too hard to heal us.

That day, in the labs, even then as strong and powerful as she'd grown, I could see the toll that healing me had taken on her.

But she'd been able to because we were bonded.

I tugged at my hair as I ran from Sarah's room, pocketing the key and not even bothering to respond to Arnell's questions as I left the medical ward.

It seemed so simple now, so obvious.

Max healed us the easiest, because our ties to her were impossible to ignore. She healed Ro, because she spent a lifetime forging a connection to him.

Max hardly knew Sarah.

But we did. Wade and I were even bonded to her once.

The connection we had back then to Sarah was nothing like the one that pulled us to Max, but it wasn't nothing either. She wasn't some random girl. She'd been a part of our team. A part of us. Family .

I threw open the fanghole's bedroom and closed the distance to where Max lay draped against him.

Darius woke with a start, shoving Max behind him as his startled eyes found mine, his fangs flashing, threat clear in every line of his body.

For a moment, I thought he was going to act on the adrenaline and fear coursing through his body and attack me, the urge to protect her too strong to fight.

He'd seemed a bit off lately, more driven by raw instinct than usual.

He was often an odd, unpredictable prick, but lately it was more than that. Like he was fighting some invisible battle only he could see.

I raised my hands up in apology, and backed away, and after a tense moment, his rigid shoulders relaxed.

"What's going on?" Max grunted, her voice muffled and cracked with the edges of sleep as she fought to see around the vampire. "Darius, get off of me."

"What are you doing in here, wolf?" he asked, voice flat as he fought against his instincts, "people need to stop doing this. And you—you should know fucking better than waking me up like that. When she's here with me. When I—we're all on edge." The fight in his voice dissipated a bit as his brain recognized the absence of a threat. "Is something wrong?"

He pulled Max into his lap, his hands roving over her arms, her bare legs where the long T-shirt hit her thigh, like he was trying to convince himself that I hadn't just broken in here to report that she was hurt.

"Sarah," I said.

I heard the others' doors open, Eli swearing softly about the ungodly hour, then all of them cluttering around Darius's door frame.

Max stood up, crowding into me. Her hair was mussed and her eyes wild with fear. "Is she okay? She's not?—? "

I pulled her to me, unable to resist her another moment, then pressed my nose to her neck, taking her in. This morning's solo session had nothing on the real thing, on the way she felt in my arms, the way she smelled.

"She's the same." I pulled back, then met Wade's eyes over her head. "Sort of. I think maybe I did something?"

"Did something?" Max grunted against my chest and I pulled back a little more, giving her enough room to breathe. "What do you mean?"

"I think I started to heal her a bit. Or established the connection to do it. She reacted, a little."

Her brows lifted, her eyes scanning me from head to toe, concern etched into the lines of her face. "You're okay? You didn't drain yourself, did you? Atlas, that's dangerous. Why didn't you wake me before? Khalida said that healing without training can kill you. And she was right. I've come close. You haven't had any training."

"It's okay," I squeezed her shoulders, "Bentley, I'm okay. Promise." I held her eyes until she nodded, until she believed me. "I think we can heal her though," I nodded towards Wade, "partially, I mean. Like you did with me. We were bonded to her, however briefly. Maybe we can at least buy her some more time. With your help."

It took twenty minutes of convincing her that this would work, that we'd be safe, and then twenty more minutes for everyone to fight over shower time and get ready, before I found myself back at the medical ward, this time with five more in tow.

"What's wrong?" Rowan's eyes roved over us all until he found Max, the lazy casualness from before clouding suddenly into fear. "Is it the mission? Something happen?"

Max's face split into a smile as she greeted her brother with a hug and then mussed his already out-of-control hair. "We're fine. We're going to try saving Sarah. "

He exhaled his relief, then ushered us all into her room.

Sarah's position hadn't changed since I'd left her.

Max, Wade, and I circled around her, linking hands as Max talked us through how she accessed her healing magic, how it felt, how intoxicating it could become and how important it was for us to resist that, to know when to stop.

Declan stood on the sidelines, biting her nails, half-excited and half-terrified. None of us wanted to get our hopes up just for them to come collapsing down, but I could see that battle clear as day in Declan's face.

She wanted her cousin, her friend back. We all did.

The others looked on with less conflict, their concern for Max and her tendency to give too much of herself when healing at the front of all of our minds.

But maybe with more of us this time, it would be easier. Smoother.

It took a few minutes as Max patiently talked us through finding the link between me and Wade, and then both of us tracing that to Sarah. It was slippery, temporary, impossible to hold. But after a few tries, with Max's guidance, we were able to concentrate on it.

We worked, for half an hour, trying to tease Sarah out of her nightmare, to bring her back to us. Just when it seemed like we were making progress, mine or Wade's eyes would flash black, our skin growing clammy and breathing ragged, before the connection would snap altogether. And we were back at square one.

Max was patient, used to the non-linear process. She'd spent dozens of hours trying to bring Sarah back. This was only the beginning.

I felt Wade's growing frustration with himself when he lost the thread again, his fingers digging into my hand like he was trying to rip out my tendons and hold onto those instead, like his grip on me would somehow save her .

Was he inflicting the same pain on Max's hand too? I fucking hoped not.

When I went to say something, I realized I was doing the same to him. That I was clutching his hand and Sarah's shoulder like I meant them more harm than good, every vein in my arm taut with tension as I fought to chase the power and connection just out of our collective reach.

But whatever connection we had to Sarah had either weakened too much or was never strong enough to begin with. That, and our ability to access this particular power was too nascent.

Max had only barely reached me.

I'd hoped that with three of us, with our bonds as strong as they'd grown, that this would be easier. But it wasn't. In some cruel twist of fate, Max's healing strength was far more difficult to wield and control than the powers that brought destruction. My brother and I were better designed to bring the world to its knees than we were to cushion and heal it from the fall.

Max's eyes were blown pure black as she shook her head and stepped back, breaking our loop. "It's not working. There's something there, I can feel her better, through you both, but it's not enough for me to grasp onto. I don't know if—" she shook her head and took a few breaths, like she was fighting against the same frustration and anger I felt clutching my chest.

I was ready to collapse from the exertion, and a quick glance at Wade confirmed he wasn't any better off.

"No." She froze, the dark brown hues bleeding back through the black, as her eyes landed on Dec. "It's you. It should be you."

"No." Dec leaned back, confused, then shook her head. "I wasn't bonded to Sarah."

"They aren't either, not anymore anyway," Max said, an odd sadness in her voice that I didn't fully understand. Did she want our bonds to Sarah to be strong? I tried to ignore the petty part of me that would have preferred her jealousy in that moment. Now wasn't the time. "But maybe it's not just about mate bonds. I healed Ro. Maybe, with healing, it's more so about connection."

"Not to mention you're the best of us at channeling Max's power." Eli nodded, coming around to the idea as he nudged her towards us. "She's right, if anyone is going to find Sarah locked in her own mind, it's going to be you."

Dec's lip quivered slightly, as she found her place between me and Sarah, her hand gripping mine.

I ignored the way her fingers trembled against mine, the way she cleared her throat, and laid a shaky hand on Sarah's head.

But then, in true Dec fashion, she stood taller and nodded, "okay, walk me through it."

Max did, and, while it wasn't an instant connection, Eli was right. Dec tapped into Max's power far more quickly than Wade and I had. After a few moments, I could feel her pull Sarah into the flow of power between the four of us, could feel her latch on with a strength that I hadn't been able to muster.

Good, you're doing really good, Dec. Max sent the words through to Dec, but connected as we were they reverberated in my thoughts just as loudly as if she'd pushed them to me. Think about a memory, one that gets at the core of your connection to her. Ground yourself to it. Try to feel, smell, taste, until the memory turns more material. Good, good, that's it. Now locate your own essence, your power source. Good, there, you've got it. Siphon through to her, imagine your strength traveling through that connection, growing stronger, alive with energy. I've—I've never done this before, but try to pull from us all to replenish your own stores.

I grunted under the strain as what felt like a claw dug through my chest, carving me up. My heartbeat sped up until it reached a breaking point and started to slow, too slow. Wade's hand loosened in mine as he fought to stay standing, his body trembling as he fought to keep giving .

Easy, Dec. Max's voice was strained now, farther away than it had been. Something about that sent a flare of panic through me. I could feel the wolf's energy pulse in alignment with my own, anxious and frantic. He felt cornered. The worst thing a wolf could feel when he was already more vulnerable than usual.

I dropped to my knees, and sensed more than heard Wade and Max do the same.

Fight against the pull, Dec. Max's thoughts were more like a whisper now, transparent and carried off in the wind. Away from me. Too far away. Don't give into the euphoria of it. Too much. Dec, pull back.

Eli and Ro started arguing, their voices tinny and difficult to parse. Darius's low, warning growl echoed the one in my own chest. Someone grabbed my shoulders, attempting to maneuver between our clasped hands as they tried to break us apart. But this wasn't a power that could be easily severed. Not until Dec was ready to let go.

Tears streamed down my face, though I didn't remember crying, didn't know why I even was. The sharp pain eased now, bleeding into a soft bliss that felt like swaying in a hammock on a warm, breezy day. I wanted to close my eyes, to lean back and rest. Just for a little while.

And then, with the power of a bomb, power pulsed hard and loud through us, my hands falling to my sides as I collapsed into the ground, my breathing ragged and rushed, like no amount of air would be enough for my lungs.

"Good," Max said, her breaths even more labored than mine as she crawled across the floor, hands searching for Dec, "good. That was good."

Fucking hell. Was this what healing typically felt like for Max? I swiped away a few strands of hair that were caked to my forehead with more sweat than I'd produce in three hours of sparring .

Those hadn't been tears running down my cheeks. My entire body was clammy and hot, my shirt sticking in wet patches as I fought to catch a breath.

Wade fell back on his ass, expression dazed and exhausted as the indigo of his irises pushed back the black abyss of his blown pupils.

Max seemed to be recovering more quickly than we were and she held her hands to Declan's cheeks. A pulse of power ran through us, like the connection between us was still just as strong, a livewire that couldn't be severed by space.

She closed her eyes, and I could feel her healing Dec, healing us too as she reached for me and then Wade.

"We shouldn't have done this today," Eli muttered, his hands running frantically over Max while he checked her for injuries. "That was super fucking reckless. Today of all days."

"Who knows how much longer Sarah would've had," she said, latching her fingers through his as they roamed over her for a second pass, "we'll be fine in a few minutes. I promise."

Darius was a silent, unmoving sentinel, eyes dark and cagey as he stood back in the shadows, like he was using his remaining will power to fight the urge to do the same. To rip Max from Declan and drag her back to his bed where he could keep her safe.

But the way his stare snagged every few seconds on Dec made it clear he was just as concerned about her. He'd clocked Dec's pallor, the way her arms still trembled slightly from the aftershocks of exertion.

"That was too much," he said, shaking his head. After a brief consideration, he came into our circle, setting one hand on Max cheek, and the other awkwardly on the top of Dec's head. "But you're okay, yes? Both of you?"

They nodded.

"We are too," Wade said with a snort, earning a smirk from the vampire, "thanks for asking. "

"You're replaceable," Darius shot back, but there was no bite to his words. And I caught the way his eyes traced Wade and then me, satisfied that we were both, indeed, fine. "Though I suppose finding another incompetent incubus and arrogant werewolf this late in the game would pose an inconvenience."

"We should postpone," Eli said. "I doubt you four will be much use today after this."

After a moment, Dec's grayish-white complexion warmed up a bit, until she looked more like herself, her eyes wild and panicked as they held Max in their stare.

"We're all okay," Max said, her lips carving into a soft smile as she met his eyes, willing him to believe her. "I promise. I'll heal them, and our power will balance out better," she'd begun referring to her power like that lately—as ‘ours,' "fill in the gaps and regenerate. We'll be back to fighting shape in an hour, I think. This was good," she turned back to Dec, her eyes glistening with pride, "you did good."

Max seemed lighter than she had in weeks, her cheeks flushed bright with color, her expression soft with relief. She hardly knew Sarah, but she'd dedicated almost every free moment she'd had since rescuing her to trying to save her. And after all the shit we'd been through, she'd needed a win. Maybe this would be the thing to give us an edge today, the high of this success.

I cracked my neck, my strength coming back to me with every passing moment. She was right, at this rate, I'd feel good as new before we even grabbed breakfast.

I stretched, feeling restless and jittery. It'd been weeks since I'd shifted. My wolf was growing antsy locked in my chest with all of these foreign emotions coursing through me. After our mission today, I'd let him run. Maybe see if Ralph wanted to join in.

A low moan caught all of our attention as Sarah shifted awkwardly, like she wasn't used to moving her body, like she didn't quite feel comfortable in her own skin.

Her eyes, blue and wide, darted around the room, her breathing rushed and uneven as she processed the impossible clash of her nightmare reality with this one.

My stomach tightened at the sight. She was awake. Alive. Better.

But this was only the start of her battle.

"I'll call Jay." Ro ran a hand through his hair, the pieces sticking up in every possible direction, like he'd been incessantly tugging at it. His eyes found Max, like they always did, and held her stare for a moment, confirming that she was, indeed, okay. She couldn't speak into his head the way that she could ours, but those two had their own silent language, one just as powerful and clear. He nodded, confirming whatever he needed to. "I'll be right back. Arnell will get Charlie and the others."

Sarah's entire body shook as she watched us all. She was like a small bird, lost and far from the nest, surrounded by hungry predators. The image was so at odds with the girl we'd brought back from hell, that I didn't know how to parse the two versions of her together, to unite both halves into this new reality.

Had I looked this scared? This lost, when Max brought me back?

I'd certainly felt it. For weeks.

We all kept our distance as we watched her, none of us wanting to startle her further, to push her back into that place she'd only just escaped.

"Sarah?" Dec crouched down beside her, hands clutched around her chest like she was forcing herself not to pull her cousin to her. "It's me, Dec. Are—are you okay?" She winced, then shook her head. "Of course you're not okay. "

"D-dec?" Sarah's voice was hoarse, cracked, barely discernible. Broken.

Dec's eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she nodded, swallowing back the sob she was clearly trying to keep under a tight lid.

Tears streamed silently down Max's cheeks as she watched their interaction, stilted and cold where it had been so warm before.

Sarah focused on her cousin now, her eyes raising slowly until they met hers. She took in a deep, jagged breath that broke on a sob. The sound pushed Dec over the edge and she joined her, both of the cousins collapsing into each other. Dec held her tight while Sarah wept through her pain—the scars still etched into her psyche even with her newfound freedom.

Those scars would probably never go away.

But she wouldn't feel this bad forever.

"Sarah?" Jay ran into the room, skin pale and rimmed with black under her eyes. She must've been nearby, possibly sleeping in one of the adjoining rooms. Since her arrival, she'd hardly left her daughter's side for more than a meal and few hours of sleep each night.

Sarah pulled back from Declan, eyes wide and filled with a childlike fear that I hadn't seen since we were kids. "M-mommy?"

"H-how?" Jay hiccupped a cry and found her way to her niece and daughter. She collapsed into a hug around them, like a blanket of protection, as she pulled them to her, shaking softly. "I'm here, angel, I'm here."

Jay repeated the words over and over, lips pressed to Sarah's hair as Dec pulled back a bit, giving them a moment.

I pulled Dec to her feet while she tried to discreetly wipe her tears on the back of her hand.

"I, er," Darius cleared his throat, tore the sleeve from his shirt and handed it to her with a shrug, "here, I guess. "

She snorted a half laugh and took it, mopping up the salty liquid while Darius stood around awkwardly, clearly feeling out of place with the emotional turmoil in the room.

"It's true? She's awake?" Charlie's face appeared in the doorway, her face lit up with a giant smile as she watched the mother and daughter clutching each other, hovering over the spot where Sarah had crouched, restless and zombie-like since she'd arrived.

"She's awake." Max's face lit up with unfiltered joy, any vestiges of exhaustion from the healing long tucked away. "Long road ahead, but she's awake."

Charlie's eyes brimmed with tears too now, and I took a few steps back, until my shoulder bumped into Darius, suddenly understanding his discomfort with all of the emotions crowding this room. It was stifling, and I could feel my own getting lodged in my throat. I needed a breather after all of that.

I cleared my throat, thankful when Bishop appeared next to Charlie. He squeezed her to him, but his expression was just as stern and detached as it usually was, clearly either oblivious or unconcerned by the crowded, intense room.

"Glad to hear it," he said, pressing a kiss to his wife's head before turning his focus to me. "But we should give Sarah and Jay some space. It's time."

And with those two words, the emotional energy of the room shifted in an entirely new direction, just as loud, just as intense, but now laced with a fresh coating of adrenaline and fear.