Chapter Nine

Claire

I felt oddly inside my body and somehow not fully in my own mind as I walked on bare feet, wrapped up in Aurelio's bedding, across the hall and into my room, closing, then leaning against the wall.

I could feel the traces of him all over me.

The scent of him on my skin, the slight beard burn over my chest, my breasts, and down my belly, the phantom sensation of his fingers inside of me, the taste of him on my tongue.

But my mind hadn't quite caught up to my body.

It all came back, little by little, leaving my body suddenly feeling too heavy, making me slide down the door until I was sitting on the floor, knees to chest, trying to figure out how the hell things had gotten so out of control so fast.

I mean, after the kiss, it seemed like we both decided it was… if not a mistake, then just… not a good idea.

We'd both been into it at the moment. But once we got some distance, it was clear we'd both put some thought into it, and decided not to go there again. Hence how we'd been kind of tip-toeing around each other since, without becoming distant or unfriendly.

It had just been… one of those days.

Where I was tired and overstimulated. And Judah just kept demanding more and more from me when I felt I had little left to give.

I blamed my sleeplessness the night before. My dreams flip-flopping between horrific memories with Warren to steamy fantasies with Aurelio at a breakneck pace that had me tossing and turning and giving up before the sun was even up in the sky.

It wasn't like me to be so out of sorts that Judah could sense it. But as I tried to get him to nap, it was clear that my stress was practically oozing out of my pores. I'd put him in the crib only eighty-percent asleep, hoping he would just settle, and I could take a shower to pull myself back together.

Then the cry.

And Aurelio's intervention. Like he just knew how close to the edge I was, and was happy to step in and push me away from it.

It had been silent on the monitor for a while, so I figured it would be safe to run across the hall in my towel.

Until I plowed right into the man.

Then things… had progressed quickly.

I hadn't been prepared for the way my own desire and pleasure had completely overtaken me, silencing any thoughts other than more more more.

And Aurelio was all too happy to keep giving, his lips and tongue and fingers, knowing exactly what I wanted and when, never letting the need ebb, just driving me right to and through an orgasm that had me crying out, had me clutching the sheets, and remembering that this, this was what intimacy was supposed to be like between a man and a woman.

It was only after that when I seemed to remember that it wasn't just about me, that things had to be reciprocated. And I didn't even remember that on my own. It was Aurelio reaching into his pants that had me remembering that I had to please him too.

Until… he just brushed me away, reaching to free himself, then stroking his cock as he continued to work me with his fingers. Not seeming the least bit bothered that I wasn't touching him in turn.

I couldn't seem to stop myself from watching, either. Him touching me, sure. But even more so, him touching himself. His long, thick cock in his strong hand, the way the muscles in his arm and chest tightened as he got closer and closer, how his eyes burned and a muscle ticked in his jaw.

Then, after my orgasm crashed through me again, I got to see the way his head fell back, and his breathing got tense as his own orgasm worked its way through him.

I couldn't say where the urge came from afterward that had me folding up, and teasing my tongue over him, tasting him.

All I can say it was the most intimate I'd ever felt with a man.

Until, eventually, his incessant phone broke us apart.

For the better, I tried to convince myself as I yanked my underwear up my legs, then went digging in the drawers for a pair of yoga pants and a tee before Judah decided to wake up.

I don't know why some part of me was trying to insist that getting physical with Aurelio was a bad idea.

I mean, the man was gorgeous. He was amazing with Judah. He was kind to me. The attraction was undeniable.

I guess maybe it was because he was providing our literal safe haven. And if he got sick of me after we slept together, he could just toss us out on the street.

Even if I believed down to my soul that he had too good of a heart for that, experience had turned me suspicious.

"Hey, buddy," I said as Judah pulled himself up and looked at me over the crib bars. "Want to go get a snack?" I asked, all the frustration from earlier gone. And I knew damn well it was from the orgasms, not the shower.

I gathered Judah, then we made our way downstairs to find a note on the island, telling us that Aurelio had a meeting.

I glanced at the clock, thinking there was no way he was going to be home in time to prepare dinner. His meetings usually ran a few hours.

"I guess we are cooking tonight, buddy," I said, and I found I was actually excited at the prospect of cooking for Aurelio.

I'd made the brownies that one night. But I hadn't gotten a chance to feed him like he'd been feeding me.

I set Judah in his highchair with some cut up fruit, then started to rummage around the fridge and pantry, making a plan for a meal I hoped would knock his socks off.

Not Italian.

I wasn't naive enough to think he would be impressed with anything I made from that particular kind of cuisine. Not with his skills with it and, I imagined, his mother's and other family members'.

So I decided on something hearty and unfussy. Steak with mushrooms and onions with a side of seasoned smashed potatoes, and green beans.

And something for dessert.

The options were limitless. I'd never seen a kitchen as well-stocked as his. Literally anything I could need to make just about any kind of dessert was available. The man even had frozen puff pastry available.

"How about some apple turnovers?" I asked Judah as he smushed a strawberry into his tray.

Judah had been loving the change in his diet since we'd come here. He'd always been willing to eat what he was served in the past, not really having any choice in the matter if he didn't want to be hungry. But with Aurelio's cooking, he was eating with gusto, and I was happy to start seeing a bit more baby pudge on him.

As for me, yeah, I was putting my son to shame with how much I was enjoying the food. We hadn't even been around that long, but I could swear that some of the bones that had been sticking out of my skin already seemed to be softened with a little bit of flesh over them.

I set the steaks to marinade and cleaned up Judah before setting him at the island in his handy-dandy convertible highchair/step stool.

Most nights, Aurelio converted it for my son, setting him up at the island with a bunch of his fake food toys, the kind with velcro that connects them, so he could use the little wooden knife to ‘slice' them, imitating Aurelio as he prepared dinner.

I'm sure you could imagine the little heart-squeeze I got each time I saw that.

I was just about to start slicing the tips off of the green beans when, suddenly, the front door opened with a familiar beep-beep-beep of the alarm system.

There was a second of disappointment, having wanted to get the meal at least mostly prepared before he came home.

That disappointment, though, was quickly replaced with something else entirely.

When the footsteps that came toward us had a certain kind of click to them.

Like high heels.

I couldn't seem to wrap my head around that, though, until a woman was stepping into the doorway of the kitchen, arms full of bags.

From the look on her face, she was just as shocked to see me as I was to see her.

Maybe my first instinct should have been to feel fear, since Aurelio never mentioned anyone else coming to the house.

But what did my mind immediately go to?

Jealousy.

Because, God, this woman was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous with her fit, curvy body, her deep eyes, her gleaming, dark hair, her perfectly feminine face.

She was dressed in a pair of black slacks, icepick heels, and a buttery-soft looking light yellow button-up.

Who could she be?

This woman with the code to the house?

Who was walking in with bags like she belonged there?

My stomach dropped out at the next thought that raced across my mind.

A girlfriend?

Did he have a girlfriend?

One he failed to mention before he kissed me or went down on me?

"Huh," the woman said, brows pinching as her gaze moved from me to Judah, then back again. "Okay then," she said, nodding. "It seems like my brother has been keeping a lot from the family."

Brother.

Brother.

Of course it was one of his sisters!

With the jealousy gone, I could see the similarities much more clearly. The same eyes. The thick lashes.

This was Elisa or Smush.

And, from the stories, I felt like I knew which one.

"Are you Smush?" I asked, then watched as the woman sighed and shook her head.

"Sofia," she corrected. "Did he actually call me Smush when he talked about me?"

"Uh, I feel like I'm supposed to say no here," I said, wincing. "But yes. Is that… not a nickname you like?"

"It's what my mom called me because I was a fat baby," Sofia said. "It unfortunately stuck. And as any insecure girl growing up, I really learned to hate it."

"Sorry," I said, grimacing.

"It's not your fault. So… I'm Sofia. And not to be crass… but who the hel—heck are you?" she asked as she walked over to put the bags down on the kitchen table.

"I'm Claire. This is my son, Judah."

"Just your son, right? Do I have to break it to my poor mother that her son has been keeping a grand baby from her?"

"No, he's not… Aurelio's not his father," I said, feeling a little pang in my heart, suddenly wishing Judah had been that lucky.

"Oh, okay. Not with those curls, right, buddy?" she asked, giving Sofia a warm smile. "So is this one of those super-secret mafia things that I'm not allowed to know about?" she asked.

"I… I'm not sure," I admitted. "I know his boss knows we are here."

"Well, if Luca knows, I'm sure Romy knows. And if Romy knows, she's going to slip and tell someone else eventually. So, the way I see it, you should just tell me," she said with a wicked little smirk.

"I see your logic," I admitted. And Aurelio was really close with his siblings. Surely, he wouldn't be mad at me for explaining. Not when I was literally caught in his house by his sister.

"This has something to do with the shooting, right? With the fact that I have a damn guard literally following me everywhere I go lately?"

"I'm afraid so," I told her.

"Alright. You chop green beans. I'll put the groceries away," Sofia said as she went toward the table to dig through the bags. "And we talk. How'd you come to be staying with my brother?"

"I was… with the man who… who did the shooting," I said. "That night. I was in the car. And I knew what was going to happen. I, uh, I couldn't go out and stop it. I had to stay in the car. But when Aurelio started to pass me… I warned him."

"So when you say you had to stay in the car," Sofia said, stuffing some more fresh fruit into the fridge, "I'm assuming you meant you were in some way forced to be in there."

"Handcuffed," I admitted.

"Handcuffed," she repeated, looking at me, then Judah. "By his father?" she guessed.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"What a dic—" she started, then caught herself, "dill pickle," she settled on, making me snort-laugh.

"Pickle," Judah agreed with a firm little nod that had us both chuckling.

"Totally a pickle," Sofia agreed, going back to the table to grab several different kinds of meats, and bringing them to the fridge. "What happened then?"

"Aurelio wanted to free me."

"Of course," she agreed.

"But I couldn't go with him."

"Because your son wasn't there," she guessed.

"Yes."

"So, his father was, what? Your… husband?"

"Ex," I clarified. "I'd left him for… a lot of reasons," I said and the look in her eyes said she understood, "before I found out I was pregnant. Then I did everything I could for him not to find me because I knew how much he wanted a son to… train up to become a monster like him."

"But he found you and dragged you back then kept you under lock and key."

"Yes… it's weird how much this doesn't shock you," I decided as she stacked her arms with boxes of pasta to bring to the pantry.

"You know, when you grow up in a family as big as mine, many of whom are in the Family, you learn to accept what would be extraordinary circumstances to normal people with a nod or shrug.

"I mean, I have a cousin who is now married to an employee of his who'd seen him pew-pew someone," she said, careful to not say anything that Judah might not fully understand but repeat anyway, "then had her blackmail him about it. Oh, and another one who was having brunch or lunch or whatever at this place and two guys came in with pew-pews and the woman who worked there jumped in front of him and took the… you-know-whats herself. So you can say we all have a willingness to take crazy situations with a grain of salt."

"I… yeah, I can see that," I agreed, nodding. And those were only a couple examples. I couldn't imagine what else might have gone on in her family over the years.

"So, then you escaped…" Sofia prompted.

"In a delivery truck," I agreed.

"Good for you," she said, nodding. "And you came right here?"

"I couldn't think of anywhere else to go," I admitted. "I had no money or IDs. And Judah was crying and hungry."

"Well, you came to the right house then. My brother is a really good cook," she said. "And he makes me keep this place stocked for anything."

"Makes you?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, right. Well, this is my job. I do this for a lot of the single guys in the family. And for non-family members. I kind of… manage the household. Keep an eye on the stocks of everything, so no one runs out of anything. And, of course, grocery shopping. For the ones who actually cook, anyway. A bunch of them mostly just make me pick them up coffee and rely on the moms and aunts to drop off frozen meals for them to heat up when they're sick of take-out."

"Aurelio doesn't have any frozen meals," I said.

"No," she agreed. "Believe me, our mom would send them if she could, but Aurelio tells her to give them to Milo instead. I don't think I've ever seen him willingly chop a vegetable or boil a noodle in his life."

"So, how long have you been here?" she asked as she continued to stock the fridge, freezer, and pantry.

"Almost since the shooting," I admitted.

"And this hasn't gotten out yet? I'm shocked," she said, eyes wide. "Aurelio must be keeping you a secret."

I knew that was prudent.

But, somehow, it hurt more than I could have anticipated to be referred to as a secret. Like he didn't want anyone to know I was around.

"It's probably because they are, you know, planning something," Sofia was quick to say, sensing my unease at the word. "They keep us out of the loop a lot of times until things are… done. No one wants the women or kids to ever be able to be questioned or anything like that."

"That makes sense," I agreed, trying to remind myself that it wasn't my place to be hurt even if Aurelio was keeping me a secret. The man was giving me and my son a safe place to land and plan for the future. I had no right to be upset about how he handled the situation with his family.

"He must be absolutely loving having you here," she said as she went back to her bags, starting to fold them all back up, except the two that, I imagined, had household supplies in them.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"I mean, this is his dream," she said, shrugging. "A family. He loves kids. And this is like the best age," she said, smiling at Judah. "Sometimes, the guys can get all squirrelly about the little babies. Like they're afraid they're gonna crush or break them or something," she added. "But at this age, they're sturdy and you can play with them."

She said that with a wistfulness that made me think that she herself also had a dream of a family.

I knew from Aurelio's story that she wasn't married, but the warm look in her eyes as she looked at Judah let me know that it was definitely on her mind.

"He's great with Judah. He gets down on the floor to play with him all the time. And sets him up like this when he's cooking."

"Uh oh," Sofia said, shooting me a knowing little smirk.

"What?"

"Oh, I think you might just be dangerously close to falling for my big brother," she said.

"What? No!" I insisted. Too quick. Too squeaky. There wasn't a person alive who would believe what I'd just said.

"I mean, I think it would be amazing," she said, shrugging. "If, you know, you guys are into each other that way."

My memory flashed with the image of him with his face buried between my thighs, of me running my tongue along his cock.

Oh, we were into each other that way. That was for sure.

"Look," Sofia said, tone more serious. "I get it," she said. "You're a mom. You need to think about your son first. But if you two are into each other in the fun way," she said, "then I think it would be silly to fight it. I mean, I couldn't think of a man alive who would be a better father to Judah," she told me. "Or a better partner to you," she added.

"He's my brother and I might want to kick him in the bal—balloons," she corrected, "for calling me Smush behind my back, but I have to admit that he's like the best guy ever. Just something to keep in mind," she said.

"I appreciate it. And I… I haven't been here long, but I agree. He's been incredibly kind and selfless."

"So, we agree. Now, let's get down to business," she said, grabbing her phone. "What weekly goods do I need to add to my list now that you guys are here? Any special snacks for Judah or you? Bath stuff? Monthly period stuff?"

"I don't want to make more work for you," I insisted.

"You're not. I'm already going to all the stores. It's nothing to tack on a few extra things," she said.

In that case, I rattled off some snacks for Judah, his bath products, and the ones Aurelio had bought for me as well as preferences for feminine hygiene stuff. I wasn't due for a while, but I'd rather have it around in case.

"Perfect. Okay. I got all of that in my notes now. And I do a sweep around the house, usually, to check supplies. I can do that in your room or bathroom if you want. Or if you think that's invasive…"

"It's okay," I insisted, used to that in Warren's home, without anyone even bothering to ask permission. "I'm not supposed to leave the house for a while, so it would be good knowing someone else can pick things up without me bothering Aurelio."

"Not to mention most men are useless about tampons and pads," she said, shaking her head. "My mom once asked Lucky when we were teens to pick up tampons because he was out. He came home with a box of every kind of tampons the store had. We had, like, a year's supply of them. I'm just gonna put the rest of this stuff away," she said, then rushed off to empty her remaining bags.

"Okay," she said when she was done. "I have to go get to the pet store before they sell out of mealworms."

"Mealworms?" I asked.

"I know, gross. One of my clients has a lizard. It's a standing visit on the bug delivery day."

"I see no lizards in our future, if that makes you feel better."

"Thank God," she said, grabbing her folded reusable bags, then making her way toward the doorway. "It was nice meeting you. I'll try to keep you secret for a while. Believe me, you don't want my mom to know Aurelio has a woman and child in his home. She can be… pushy. I'll see you next week!" she said, then there was the steady click of her heels as she made her way out of the front door.

Alone, I went back to preparing dinner as the sun started to set outside, worrying as I got further along in the process that Aurelio might not make it home for dinner.

I stalled by preparing the apples, then making the turnovers.

But, eventually, I had to get the food cooking.

There was still no word as I pulled the steaks out of the broiler, as well as the tray of potatoes, and turned off the green beans.

"I guess we're eating alone, buddy," I said to Judah, who was getting whiny.

I couldn't blame him.

I was starving too.

There was a strange noise out front, making me think it was Aurelio coming home.

"Let's go say hi," I said, grabbing Judah, and taking him with me to the front room, moving the curtain away from the window to look out.

Only realizing my mistake when it was too late.