Chapter 21

Twenty-One

I wasn't surprisedat all when Terrell showed up on my busking corner the next day. I'd known Luynore wouldn't wait long to call on me, but I'd hoped he would've woken up with amnesia this morning and completely forgotten that he'd ever met or even seen Remi Ellwood.

But if wishes were horses or whatever that saying was…

I frowned when I saw Terrell waiting for me to finish my song, and the frown deepened when he threw a couple of coins into my guitar case.

What the hell was he doing?

Since I had a nice crowd, and I really didn't want to see Luynore, I went straight into another song, forcing Terrell to wait for me. I thought he'd get mad, but all he did was smirk at me, knowing exactly what I was doing.

But I didn't want the big gargoyle getting too pissed, so I stopped after that song, bowed to the applause, and set about cleaning up.

Terrell came over while I was kneeling on the ground, and I said, "This is the absolute worst time to leave. The building over there takes lunch, and so many of the employees go to the food truck over there. This is when I make the most money. Did you see the crowd?"

"I saw. Sorry you had to stop. I would've waited to come here if I could."

I waved him off and finished cleaning up, tucking the money into one of my air pockets so no one could steal it. I packed up my guitar, put it and my backpack on, and stood to face Terrell.

"Ready?"

"No."

He shot me a sad smile and sighed. "Yeah, me either."

I wasn't sure what to make of that. Did that mean I should expect the worst? Was Luynore pissed about something? "What kind of mood is he in?" I asked after I climbed into his car.

"He was happy when I left, and to be honest, I think that's probably one of the scariest things I've ever seen."

"Fuckin' hell."

"Too right."

"Any idea what his plans are?"

"You really think he shares his plans with me?" He barked out a laugh. "Do you think he shares them with anyone?"

I sighed. "Fair point."

He patted my leg. Normally I would've squirmed away, but for whatever reason, I felt like I'd found an ally within Luynore's walls, so I held back. I knew Terrell couldn't actually defy orders, but I could also see that he was fine with pushin' them as far as he was able in order to help me out. I had no idea why he'd been like this with me lately, but I was grateful for it.

He said, "We'll get it sorted out. Try not to worry."

"Have you seen Luynore? There isn't a moment any sane person shouldn't be worried while in his presence."

"I'll give you that, but I'll do what I can to help."

"I appreciate that, Terrell."

He sent me a small smile.

The two of us made it up to his office, and I did my best to tamp the nerves and anxiety down. Terrell knocked on the office door, and Luynore called out, "Come in."

We walked in together, and when I saw the slimy, giddy grin on Luynore's face, I almost walked right back out. Terrell was right. This was almost scarier than his pissed-off expression ever was.

And I had an idea of what—or rather, who—had put that smile on his face.

"Ah, Belryn, my dear. Come in, come in." He waved to the seat on the opposite side of his desk, so I sat down, earning another creepy grin. "How are you doing?"

I blinked at him. How was I doing? Why the hell was he asking me that? When he hadn't spoken in a long minute, I cleared my throat. "Fine." No, not fine. I was doing great until I had to come and see you, you asshole.

"Good, good." He folded his hands on top of the desk. "So I see you made a new friend."

It took every ounce of control to keep myself from cringing.

"One might be curious as to how someone like you has caught the eye of someone like Remington Ellwood, but I can't say I'm surprised you're the one who did it. I mean, look at you. You're pretty, willing, desperate, and very, very good at illusions and playing a part. So tell me, how did you do it? What trick are you playing on him? What scam? What play?"

I jerked back in offense. "Play? There is no play."

He scoffed. "I'm not an idiot, Belryn. I know exactly who and what you are, and I know you have to be pulling something on him. I assume a long-term one since I saw you grocery shopping with him instead of fucking his brains out. Now, tell me."

"I'm not scamming—" I yelled out in pain as Luynore pulled on my obligation. I bent in half, trying to hold my stomach and make the pain lessen, but there was no point. Nothing I did would make it feel any better.

"Try again. Tell me your plan, and be honest this time." Now his voice had power in it, using his obligation to force the truth out of me.

"There… is… no… play," I said through gritted teeth.

He stared at me for a long moment before breaking out in hilarity, laughing so hard he wiped tears from his eyes. "Are you telling me… you actually like this bloke?"

He was still pullin' on my obligation, so I had no choice but to be honest with him. "Yes," I said through gritted teeth. Of course I fuckin' liked him. He was the nicest man I'd ever met.

That made Luynore laugh even harder, but he cut it off suddenly and stared at me with an intense expression. "I'm afraid this is going to be harder on you than I thought." He grinned, but this time, it had malice in it. "Good."

"Fuck… you," I spat out.

Of course, the prick pulled even harder on my obligation, making me cry out in pain.

"You know better than to speak to me that way, Belryn." Luynore let out a frustrated growl, and my obligation sharpened.

My eyes filled with tears, but I did my best not to let them fall. I didn't want him getting my tears. I didn't want him to know how badly this hurt.

Luynore walked over and bent down next to my hunched-over body to whisper into my ear. "Do you know what you're going to do for me?" He put his finger under my chin and lifted it so I'd meet his eyes—his hateful, spiteful, cruel eyes. "You're going to ask questions for me. You're going to bring me information about Ellwood's operation, about his business, about the specific security he has in place at the Magical History Museum and the Sedoba Art Gallery. You're going to bring me everything."

No! I wanted to yell, but I couldn't use my voice. The pain was too intense, and Luynore was pulling too hard. Fuck. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to use Remi for information. I didn't want him to get hurt because of me.

This was exactly what I'd been afraid of. This was why I'd stayed away from everyone for so long.

And now Luynore had Remi, my sweet wolf, in his sights, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing at all.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I needed to run. I needed to get as far away from Remi as I possibly could.

The pain of that thought was more unbearable than the obligation pain. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out.

I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay. I wanted to cook with Remi, talk to him, hug him, watch TV with him, sleep in his bed.

I wanted to be with him, truly be with him.

But I couldn't.

He was going to get hurt because of me, and I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let Luynore hurt him.

Luynore pushed my face away as he stood, making my head snap back. Then the asshole walked around the desk and sat back down, starin' at me. He let me suffer for another full minute before he waved his hand and released his hold.

I breathed out, gasping for breath as the pain ebbed. Holy shit. Holy shit, that hurt like a motherfucker.

"Do you understand what I want, Belryn? Do you understand that you'll be supplying me with information on your lover's security business?" He rested his elbows on the desk and leaned toward me. "You're going to get us inside information, and then we're going to break into the Magical History Museum and take something that the king never should've had in the first place."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up his hand to stop me.

"Tell me you understand. I don't want to hear a single other word than that."

"I… understand." My voice was hoarse from the leftover pain. I understood what he wanted, but I wasn't about to stick around to make sure he got it.

"Good." Luynore smacked his desk. "Now get the fuck out of here and get started. Come back on Friday to report in." He glared at me. "And one more thing. Don't even think about running."

This time, the obligation was so sudden and sharp, I cried out and fell to my hands and knees, tears coming to my eyes from the pain and the knowledge that he'd already destroyed my plans.

He waved at Terrell, so the big gargoyle walked over and helped me to my feet. I let Terrell hold me up as we walked out of his office and into the elevator. Once the doors shut, I closed my eyes and leaned more heavily into the big guy, seekin' comfort he probably didn't want to give. But he didn't seem to mind. Terrell helped me out to his car, and neither of us spoke until we were well on our way.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Not your fault." I leaned my forehead against the cold window glass, doin' everything in my power to keep from crying.

"No, but I'm still sorry. I… don't know how to get you out of that, Bel. If I could think of something, I would tell you, but…"

"Like you said before, he has a hold of me, and there's nothin' either of us can do about it."

He blew out a long breath.

Without much thought, I pulled out my phone since I'd felt it buzz when I was in Luynore's office. Of course it was Remi.

Remi: Are you okay?

It was almost like he knew I'd been hurting. My eyes welled up as I typed out a response.

Me: I'm fine, wolf boy. Are you?

Remi: Yes, may'ezza, I'm good.

Seeing that endearment on my phone made my chest tighten with hurt. I still didn't know what it meant, but every time he called me may'ezza, it made my heart do a little flip. But my heart was breaking apart right now. I didn't want to hurt Remi, and it seemed like no matter what I did, I would.

Since it no longer mattered if Terrell knew where I was staying because Luynore already knew about Remi, I had him drop me off at the apartment.

Luynore said not to run, but that didn't mean I couldn't try to get as far from Remi as I could. Pain pierced my chest at the thought, but I ignored it. I had to do something to protect him.

Remi wouldn't be home from work yet, so it was the perfect time to run inside, grab a few supplies—I'd been sloppy and left my toiletries in the bathroom here—and I'd write him a note. I didn't want him to panic if I disappeared without a word, and I knew he would. So a note would at least help.

It would give me a chance to say goodbye.

So with heavy feet, I went inside the apartment Remi had kept calling my home. Oh how I'd wanted to believe him. How I'd wanted to stay long enough to make it true.

I let my fingers trail over the counter and the table and chairs as I walked by, wanting to soak up the wonderful presence of this place one last time, and I headed into my room to pack up. I'd been sleepin' in his room every night, but my things were still in the guest bedroom.

I grabbed the little guitar figurine that Remi had given me, held it to my chest for a moment, then pushed it into one of my air pockets for safekeeping. No one could steal it from there, and it couldn't be broken.

One small thing to remember my Remi and my time here.

One small memento to represent the best time of my entire life, the most precious.

My eyes threatened to tear up, so I closed them and took one small moment to gather myself so I could get this done.

After I had everything packed up, I walked into the kitchen and pulled open the junk drawer where a pad of paper and pen were. I grabbed them and stared at the blank sheet, unsure of what to even say to him.

How the hell did you tell someone you were leaving for their own good? How did you explain that you were hurting them to keep them safe?

How did you tell the man you were falling for that you couldn't ever see him again?

I took a breath and started writing, tears forming in my eyes again.

Remi,

First and foremost, thank you for everything.

I'm sorry to leave you like this, but I have to go. I can't stay here anymore.

You're an amazing, wonderful person, and I'm so grateful to have known you, but this isn't my home. I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me pretend it was for a little while?—

The soundof the door unlocking echoed loudly in the silent apartment, and I froze. Shit. He wasn't supposed to be home for another hour at least.

I felt like a deer in the headlights, unable to move as Remi walked inside and headed for the kitchen.

"Hey, Bel," he said with a smile when he saw me.

His smile was so beautiful, so filled with happiness at seeing me that my eyes filled even more.

Seeing this, he froze, taking in the entire picture, and his expression filled with hurt, and I swore I felt it in my own chest. "Don't do this. Please." His voice broke with raw emotion.

My heart ached, piercing and sharp, and I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "I have to."

He moved forward, coming to stand right in front of me. "No, you don't."

"I do."

"Why? Why do you want to leave?"

Another tear fell. "I don't want to, Remi. I-I have to."

He shook his head. "Please."

That one word broke me, and tears started falling freely. "You don't understand, Remi. I-I have to… I c-can't… you're in…" I tried to say danger, but the obligation wouldn't let me. It was too close to admitting I had an obligation at all. "R-Remi, I… I can't… you're?—"

"Shhh." Remi stepped forward and pulled me into his arms. "Shhh. I've got you, Bel. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me now, may'ezza."

That's exactly what I'm afraid of.A small sob came out of me, and I clung to him. His arms tightened around me, and I didn't know what to do. I needed to leave, but I needed to stay too.

And I knew, deep down, that if I tried to leave Remi or leave this city, Luynore's obligation wouldn't let me. He told me to get information from him, so it didn't matter how badly I tried to get away… all roads would lead back to Remi. Luynore was going to force me to stay here with this sweet man and betray the only person who actually cared about me.

Remi gently pulled my guitar strap off my shoulder and set it down, then tugged off my backpack and put it on the floor. Then he lifted me into his arms, and I was helpless but to wrap myself around him and tuck my face into the side of his neck.

I thought he'd go into the living room, but he kept walking, straight into his bedroom. He shut the door with his foot and carried me over to the bed. He sat down without releasing me, and I settled on his lap, both of us holding on to one another tightly.

"Please don't leave me," Remi finally said into my hair, and it sounded like he was holding back tears.

It broke my heart because I'd done that. I'd hurt him, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Please, Bel. Please don't leave me. I couldn't bear it."

Honestly, I didn't think I could either. "I…"

"Please." He leaned back and cupped my cheeks, lifting my head so I'd look him in the eye. "Please don't leave me, Bel. I… you mean so much to me, and I… please. Please don't go."

I sniffled and stared into those pretty brown eyes that held so much emotion, so much promise, and I knew right then and there that I could never walk away, not from him.

So… I'd stay with him for as long as he'd let me. Until… until he found out I was giving away his secrets.

Mother of All, I'd never hated myself more.

But I… I couldn't leave him. Not when he looked so sad and desperate. Not when he looked like he cared.

I'd never had someone care about me like this, so I… I'd have to hold on to it for as long as I could.

Even if I knew it would end in disaster.

Finally, I whispered, "I won't leave you." And then silently, I added, Not until you ask me to leave.

He searched my eyes for a long moment before he sucked in a shaky breath. "You promise?"

"I'll stay until you ask me to leave."

"That'll never happen."

I tightened my lips because I didn't want to say anything even though I knew that wasn't true.

Since I didn't want to argue, and I wanted to show him how much I cared about him, I captured his mouth with mine, hopin' he'd forget all about this leaving business, hopin' he wouldn't look at the why of it. Because he didn't need to get tangled in Luynore's web any more than he already was.

So I kissed him, desperate to show him how much he meant to me.

He kissed me back just as desperately, and I let out a bit of a strangled sound because I felt my emotions rising to the surface.

In the end, it didn't matter what I did, what I wanted, my actions were going to hurt Remington Ellwood. And it was going to kill me.