Chapter 17

Seventeen

I wokeup to a text from Keryth, and I sighed. I really needed to go over there for a visit, and I needed to… tell him where I'd been stayin'. Since everyone else was still asleep, I quietly got out of my sleeping bag and slowly made my way back to my bedroom. I closed the door, then touched the sigil that silenced my room so no one would be able to hear me.

Then I took a breath and dialed Ker's number.

He answered almost immediately with a, "You never call me. What's wrong?"

"Geez, Ker, don't I get a hello?"

"Not when you're calling me at seven in the morning instead of textin'. What's wrong?"

"Nothin's wrong, cuz. Can't a guy just call their?—"

"No." He cut me off, then sighed loudly. "Belryn, what's going on? Are you safe? Hurt? Do you need somewhere to crash?"

I cringed because I could hear the worry in his voice. "I'm safe, I'm not hurt, and no, I don't need a place to crash."

"Oh-kay… then what is it?"

After a long breath, I finally said, "I've been stayin' with someone."

There was a long pause before he asked, "Seriously? Who?"

"This… guy I met. His name's Remi."

There was another pause before he let out a weird excited sound and breathed into the phone, "You have a boyfriend."

"What? No. I never said that."

"I can tell from the tone of your voice. Holy shit, you're living with someone. That means it's serious. When do I get to meet this Remi guy?"

"What? No. No, no, no. No. I'm not… he's not—I… Shit. He's not my boyfriend, and I'm stayin' in his guest room, not his room. It's not… it's not serious." For some reason, sayin' that made my chest ache.

"But you want it to be."

It wasn't a question, but I answered anyway. "I never said that."

"You didn't have to. I know you, Bel. You really like this guy."

I turned in my room, double checkin' that the silencing ward was still activated—it was. "I mean… I guess." I cleared my throat. "I guess I do."

He let out an excited squeal. "Oh my Mother, I'm so damn happy for you. You have to let me meet him."

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"What? Why not? You said he's a good guy, so what's the problem?"

I sighed and sat on the bed, rubbing my face with my palm. "I'm just… what if… what if this is all fake and he's… not who he says he is."

A sharp pain lanced through my heart, and I gasped out a breath. Holy shit that fuckin' hurt. Mother of All, I was an idiot. I knew Remi was exactly who he said he was. I just…

Through gritted teeth, I added, "Okay, he is who he says he is. But I'm still worried because I doubt I'll be here very long."

Another stab of pain knocked the breath from my lungs, and a strangled sound filled the room.

"Bel? What's wrong? You sound weird. Bel? Answer me."

A knock on the door made me jump. Remi's voice called through the door, saying, "What's wrong, Bel? Can I come in? I can feel your pain."

His words made no sense, and for a moment, I thought the silencing ward hadn't worked, but then I remembered the silence only went one way so I could still hear what was going on out there.

"Ker? I gotta go. Remi's lookin' for me."

"Don't you dare hang up on me, Belryn Bixidor," Keryth said, and I sighed.

"What?"

"Are you serious right now? You're freaking me out, that's what."

"I'm fine, really. Remi needs me, so I gotta go."

"Bel?" Remi's voice called again.

"Bel?" Ker said.

"What?"

"Tell me you're safe. Tell me you're not in a bad situation."

A wan smile spread over my face. "Oh, Ker. I promise you I'm not in a bad situation and that I'm safe. I haven't been in such a… good place in a really long time. I'm okay, little cuz. Promise."

He blew out a long breath. "Thank you for the promises." He understood exactly how much it took for me to make a promise to someone. "I love you, okay? Don't do anything stupid, and if you need me, call. I'll be there as fast as I possibly can."

"I know you will. And I love you too."

"Be safe."

"Will do."

We hung up, and I stood and walked over to the door where I knew Remi was still waitin' for me. How I knew that when he'd already stopped banging on the door, I didn't know. But there he was, standing there when I opened it.

He stared at me for a moment, searching me for an injury before he met my gaze. "Can I come in?"

I nodded and moved over so he could come in, then I shut the door behind him and made sure the silence ward was still on—I hadn't believed Remi when he'd told me about it, but it worked well. I turned around to face him.

He'd moved to the other side of the room, sat in the desk chair, and was facing me but giving me space, which I appreciated. After a long moment, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'." I held in my wince because even I could hear the lie in that.

He sighed. "Look, Bel, I'm trying to give you as much space as you need, but I'd really appreciate it if you stopped lying to me."

His quiet chastise was almost worse than if he'd yelled at me.

I cringed and took a breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't…" I took a breath. "I'm okay now. I had some weird pains in my chest when I was talking to my cuz on the phone, but it went away. I'm sure it's fine."

He stared at me for a few moments before giving me a nod. "Do you want to talk about why that happened?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

He sighed again, lookin' disappointed, and I didn't want to acknowledge why that was. "Alright. Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay because I could… tell something was wrong."

He made to get up, looking like he was about to walk out of the bedroom, and I felt a strange panic build up inside me.

Before I realized what I was doing, I was moving across the room with my hands in front of me, making a stop gesture. "Please don't go yet. I… just… please don't go."

He blinked, then sat back down, staring at me expectantly.

After a few seconds, he said, "I won't go if you don't want me to."

"I don't. At all." I ran a hand through my hair and let out a strangled laugh. "I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess, and I don't even know what I'm doing or what's going on or… anything. I just… I don't?—"

I cut myself off when strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hard chest. I didn't fight it. In fact, I sank into his hold as soon as I realized he was hugging me. I didn't want him to let go. I didn't want him to move away. I didn't want to ever leave the circle of his arms. Ever.

"I'm sorry," I murmured into his t-shirt.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

I let out a bark of humorless laughter. "You are so very wrong about that, Remi. So very, very wrong."

"You have nothing to be sorry for when it comes to us, to me."

I shook my head. "Also wrong. I'm sending you mixed messages all the time and not able to… to… to even say the C-word, for fuck's sake." Commitment. Mother of All, I could barely think it without having a panic attack.

"May'ezza, I don't care if we move at lightning speed or a snail's pace. The only thing I care about is having you in my life. We'll figure out the rest in our own time. This is our relationship, no one else's, so the only thing that matters is if you and I are comfortable and happy with how things are going."

"But… how can you be? How can you be happy with this?" I waved my hand down the front of my body, encompassing all of me.

He leaned back and cupped my cheeks, forcing me to meet his gaze for a moment before I couldn't take it anymore and closed my eyes. He leaned in and pressed a sweet, soft kiss on my eyelid. "My little may'ezza." He kissed my other eyelid. "How can I be anything but happy with you in my life?" He kissed my nose. "You make me smile every day." He pressed a kiss to my cheek. "You make me laugh." Another kiss to my other cheek. "You challenge me."

"Is that really a good thing?"

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "It's a very good thing." He kissed my chin. "My heart is always so full when you're around." He kissed my nose again. "I don't… I don't think you understand how lonely I was before you."

That made me blink my eyes open. "But… you have such a big family and so many friends."

"I do, and I'm beyond grateful for them, but I've never had this." He nodded between us. "And I'm sorry if that's too much too soon, but the connection I already feel with you is stronger than anything I've had with anyone else. And having you here in my home, in my space, has been the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I made a strangled sound in my throat, then reached up and cupped the back of his head to pull him down as I went up onto my toes to capture his mouth with mine. My tongue sought his, and we both groaned when they met. My entire body reacted to having his mouth on mine. I could only imagine what it would feel like to have his mouth on other parts of my body.

After a minute of making out, I grabbed his hips and pushed him backward until he was forced to sit on the bed. Then I climbed onto his lap and pressed myself as close to him as I could get, close enough our chests were touching, close enough I could feel his erection against mine.

As I buried my hands in his hair, I thrust my hips against his, making him moan loudly. I did it a few more times before he grabbed my hips, stilling them.

I pulled my mouth away and could practically hear the protests on his lips, so I covered his mouth with my hand and said, "You talk about giving me choices, so let me choose. Respect my decision. I want this, Remi, and I'm well aware that you're not demanding payment for anythin', okay? I want this." I removed my hand and kissed his lips. "I want you. Please. If you're not ready yet, that's fine. All you gotta do is say so, and we'll stop. But if you want me too, then please?—"

He cut me off by slamming his mouth to mine, and I groaned into the kiss, clinging onto him for dear life. Now, instead of stopping me, his hands encouraged me to move again. I started rutting against him, and his hands slipped to my ass, squeezing and making me whimper.

I leaned back and practically ripped his shirt over his head, and the second it was flying across the room, he was already pulling mine off. With a hum, I ran my hands over his skin, finally gettin' to touch those pretty tattoos, but as much as I wanted to take my time with them, I wanted something else more—Remi naked.

So I stood and yanked on his pants. He lifted his hips to help me pull them off, and I didn't hesitate to kick mine off as well before I climbed back onto his lap. I groaned when our skin and cocks touched with nothin' between them for the first time.

Remi recaptured my mouth as I thrust and moved on top of him, both of our hands touching and caressing every part of each other we could reach.

In a flash, I broke our kiss and leaned over to the nightstand for the lube I'd started keeping in the drawer since the first night I'd slept in here. It'd been useful in the days since Remi brought me home since all the man had to do was walk into the room in order to turn me on.

I wasted no time in pouring a generous amount on our cocks and throwing the bottle to the side. Remi made the most beautiful noise when I took us both in hand and pumped us together.

I didn't let up, keeping a firm, steady, and slow pace as my wolf shifter began pressing open-mouthed kisses along my throat, lightly sucking the skin there. I moaned loudly when he reached a particular spot, so he focused on that area, sending goosebumps all over my skin.

When he reached one hand up to pinch my nipple and the other behind me to tap against my hole, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to relieve this pressure. Next time we'd take it slow. But right now, I just needed to come before I died.

So I sped up my hand, and Remi squirted some lube on my ass before pressing a thick finger inside.

"Come for me, my sweet Bel." His voice fumbled between us, and that was it.

I came on a cry, and it was like an out-of-body experience. It felt like I was floating, like my very cells were exploding in a ripple of pleasure.

I was distantly aware of Remi cryin' out his own orgasm. And I swore everything he was feeling ripped through my own body, as if we were both experiencing a feedback loop of pleasure, each second better than the last.

My magic burst from me in an uncontrolled blast that nearly made me panic until I realized it was caressing Remi in a way it'd never done to any other lover before. I hadn't even known my magic could do that. Remi seemed pleased by the sensation, so I didn't call my magic back to me. I wasn't sure I could even if I'd wanted to.

Remi's own wolf seemed to come out to play as well. He didn't shift or anything, but I could feel it right there under the surface, almost like he was on the edge of shifting as we rode out our pleasure together.

Our foreheads came together as we panted for breath and came down from our highs, staring into each other's eyes. Remi's slow smile was so tender, I couldn't help but brush my lips against his.

And then we were kissing again, slow and deep and filled with a different kind of passion. The kind that felt a lot like affection, a lot like he cared and cherished me. We kissed for a few more minutes, and I relished each and every second of it.

But all too soon, we both heard the others waking in the living room. I'd completely forgotten about them. Thank the Mother we'd had the silencing runes activated. I'd never be able to face them again otherwise.

"Let me get rid of them," Remi whispered against my lips. "I want to spend all day in bed with you."

"I'm totally on board with that plan."

He grinned, pecked my lips, and I slid off his lap so he could jump up. He threw his sweatpants—and nothin' else—back on and rushed out to the living room while I climbed into the bed and under the covers while I waited.

I felt a little bad for kicking them out, but they only had to walk down the hall, so at least there was that, and I was too happy and sated to let guilt ruin this moment for me.

I heard the front door shut, and a moment later, Remi was back at my side, sliding his pants to the floor and slipping into the bed with me.

"We can move to your room, you know," I said as he snuggled up to my back. "Your bed's bigger."

He kissed the back of my neck. "Maybe later. I say we dirty these sheets a little more, then take a shower in my ensuite, then we can dirty my sheets too."

I snorted. "Makin' more plans, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

I smiled and laced our fingers together. "I like your plans."

"Good. I'll make sure to feed you sometime in there too."

Rolling, I turned to face him. "I have no doubt that you will." I leaned closer so our mouths were almost touching. "Now kiss me."

He obliged without hesitation, and I knew we wouldn't be comin' up for air again for a long, long while.