Chapter 13

Thirteen

Why the helldid I have to stop us?

Ugh.

I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew I didn't want Bel to feel pressured later on. I knew I wanted him to feel respected.

But my dick didn't understand any of that. All it wanted was for me to turn around and ravage the sexy man walking behind me, to rut up against him until we were both painted in cum.

But I couldn't. Not without feeling guilty afterward.

I cleared my throat and gestured to the two guest bedrooms. "Which one do you want?"

He crossed his arms over his chest, and I tried my best to keep my eyes on his face and not the big bulge in his pants. "What if I said I want the big room?"

My eyebrows rose at that, and I glanced over my shoulder at the big bedroom in question—my bedroom. I mean, if Bel really wanted it…

Slowly, I turned back and cleared my throat. "I guess we could do that, but I'll have to get all my stuff out of there first. I have clothes and whatnot in there, so I'll have to?—"

He barked out a laugh that turned into a groan. "Mother of All, Remi, you would really do that, wouldn't you?"

"Do what?"

"Move out of your bedroom simply because I asked, even though there are two perfectly good ones right here."

I shrugged. "I mean… yeah, I would. If you really like that room, then it's fine. I don't actually care. I only took that one because I thought I was living here by myself, so…"

He stared at me, shaking his head with a long sigh. "I was joking. I'm not going to kick you out of your own bedroom, for fuck's sake." He pointed to the green-themed one. "I'll take that one."

That one was the closest to my room, so I smiled at him. "Good choice. You can move your stuff in there whenever you want."

He snorted and gestured toward the dining room where his backpack and guitar sat. "All my stuff is right there. I can literally just grab my bag, throw it in there, and be done."

"Right."

He snorted again, then walked past me to walk into the bedroom. He turned in the doorway, met my gaze, and waved at his tented pants, saying, "I need to take care of a problem you caused before I can talk to you anymore." Then he slammed the door in my face, and I winced.

He seemed a bit pissed that I'd stopped what could've been a fun time, but I didn't regret it. Well, okay, I regretted it a little, but what else could I do? He hadn't said it outright, but he'd dropped hints that he'd turned tricks in the past. The last thing I wanted was him thinking of me—or us—in that way.

I wanted him, more than anyone else in the entire world, but I didn't only want him for sex. I wanted all of him for so much more than that.

But this still really sucked.

And if Bel could take care of himself right now, I suppose I could as well. It wasn't like it would take me long with the memory and taste of him still on my tongue.

So I rushed into my room, put my hand on the rune next to the door, and pushed my essence into it. It was hard to explain how I did it because I didn't have magic the same way a witch, fae, or drow did. But it was something my dads had worked on with me since I was really young because they wanted me to have access to preset spells, like runes.

This particular rune was a silencing rune. It let sound travel in from outside the room, but no sound would travel out of it, which meant I could be as loud as I wanted without worrying that Bel would overhear.

Tanyl had set this one up, and he'd put them in all the bedrooms in each of our apartments… something I probably should've told Bel before he rushed in, but that'd have to wait.

With that set, I headed for the bed with thoughts of the pretty fae next door dancing in my head.

I was already so worked up that I barely had to do anything other than grab myself and picture Bel's sexy body, remember the feel of him against me, the taste of him on my mouth before I was coming harder than I'd ever come before.

I moaned out his name, then just lay there on my bed, panting and wishing I had the man himself beside me so I could hold him against me… and maybe lick up whatever mess he was currently making.

Since I was dying to spend more time with him, I didn't linger long, cleaning myself up and heading out of the bedroom and straight for the kitchen. I needed a glass of water, and I was starting to get hungry, so maybe I should see if Bel wanted a snack.

Because I was in my head, I didn't notice the very man sitting in the living room at first, but when I did, I smiled over at him.

"Hey, Bel. Do you want something to drink?"

He didn't answer, but I saw his shoulders tense up.

With a furrowed brow, I set my glass down and headed into the living room. My brow furrowed further when I saw Bel's bag and guitar case sitting on the floor by his feet. But then I took one look at his face and understood exactly what was happening.

Without thinking, I knelt down in front of him and grabbed his hands, saying, "Please don't leave."

He blinked at me, but the soft expression he usually wore was gone. Left in its place was a coldexpression that gave nothing away. It was the typical fae expression that many of his kind wore when speaking to strangers. It was the same one he'd worn the first time I'd seen him.

"You don't have to leave."

"This isn't my home."

"It could be."

His sharp gaze turned to me. "Oh yeah? For how long, Remi? For a week? A month? Or until you and your friends leave this city and go back to Brinnswick? What will I do then, huh? I'll just head on out, back to the alley where you found me, right? After seeing—rememberin'—what it's like to have a place to go." His voice cracked on the last word. "And you won't care because you'll be fucked off to the other side of the world, and I'll be stuck here, left alone like always."

His eyes widened, as if he'd realized what he'd said and hadn't meant to say that last part. He snapped his mouth shut, teeth clacking.

After a few seconds, I said, "I wouldn't do that to you."

He barked out a humorless laugh. "You don't live here. This is just some place you're staying. For now."

"It doesn't matter. Even if I left, I wouldn't kick you out of your home."

He snorted, but the sound wasn't any happier than the one before. "You think an old street rat can afford a place like this?"

"That's not what I meant. You don't have to pay anything to?—"

"Stop. Just… just stop, Remi." He sounded tired, and he pulled his hand out of my grasp to run it over his face. "I knew I should've walked out before you came out of your room. The only reason I stayed was… I… didn't want you to worry." He dropped his hand and met my gaze. "This isn't my life."

"It could be."

He glared at me. "Maybe I don't want it to be."

I sucked in a breath, trying not to be offended by his obvious disgust. "That's fine. I want you to do what makes you happy." He snorted at that, but I ignored it. "What if… what if you stay with me for a few days? Does that work? You don't have to think of it as moving in. You're just staying with a friend for a little while."

He swallowed thickly. "Is that what we are? Friends?"

I looked into those pretty purple eyes and wanted so badly to tell him that he was more than that to me, but I'd already scared him off once today. There was no need to do it again. "Yes. I'd like to think so." The disappointment in his gaze hit me in the gut, and I rushed to add, "But I'd like to be more than that. So, so, so much more."

He stared at me for a long moment before closing his eyes and dropping his chin to his chest. "You're telling the truth."

I wasn't sure if truth-telling was a part of his magic or if he was just good at reading people, but I was glad for it either way. "I am."

He sighed, and I gave him a moment to collect himself, not moving an inch from where I knelt in front of him. Even if all I wanted to do was wrap myself around him, hold on tight, and beg him to never leave me.

Which was… intense. And ridiculous, considering the short time we'd known each other.

But the thought of him walking away from me now was so painful it actually physically stung my chest.

Why were my feelings about this man so damn intense?

Well, that was a pretty dumb question because I already knew the answer. I hadn't said it out loud, but I was sure of what Bel was to me. And I didn't want to scare him off by bringing it up yet.

"Will you stay tonight?" I finally asked him.

"Yes." He huffed. "Yeah, I'll stay."

"Good."

And then, because I really wanted to, I leaned in and placed a soft kiss to his lips and started to pull away. Bel surprised me by grabbing the front of my shirt and yanking me back to him before I could get away. He deepened the kiss, and I moaned softly into his mouth.

But all too soon, he broke away and panted out, "If we don't stop, I'm going to have another problem."

I groaned. "I already do."

He immediately glanced down at my crotch, and when he saw the tent there, his amused gaze met mine. "I thought you took care of yourself before you came out here."

"I did. You're just too sexy for your own good."

He chuckled, and I was so relieved to hear the sound, I didn't mind at all that it was at my expense.

Once he'd finished laughing at me, I asked, "You hungry for a snack yet? I can make us some sandwiches."

"We just ate."

I glanced at the clock with a furrowed brow. "That was over an hour ago."

He opened his mouth, snapped it shut, then cleared his throat. "I don't usually eat snacks like that, but if you're hungry, you should eat."

Well, that explained why he was so skinny. I stood up, brushed a kiss across his forehead along the way, and walked back into the kitchen. "Do you like cheese, peanut butter, or tomato and lettuce or what on your sandwich?"

"I don't need anything, doll."

"I'm making you something whether you want me to or not, so you may as well get something you like."

"You're very stubborn." I could practically hear the eye-roll in his voice.

I shrugged. "You should see my dad. I get it honestly. What kind?"

He snorted. "Fine. Peanut butter sounds good."

I smiled at that and got to work.

"So neither of your dads are shifters?" Bel asked as he made his way over and sat at the breakfast bar.

I shook my head. "Nope. Dad's a witch, and Pops is an enchanter."

I held in a wince from mentioning my dads because I knew for a fact they were blowing up my phone. They'd probably felt me add someone to my wards—their magic was connected to it after all—and all I'd done was send them a quick don't worry, he's a friend text before putting my phone on silent. I'd have to deal with them yelling at me for not getting their prior approval before adding Bel. As if a grown-ass man who ran a security business needed his dads' permission to let someone in his own home. They were such pains in the ass.

Bel said, "Gotcha. How… how long—never mind."

I glanced up at him and tilted my head to the side. "How long, what? You can ask me."

He grimaced. "No. It was a rude question, so we can just pretend I never opened my mouth."

"You want to know how long I've been able to shift, don't you?"

He inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry. I know it's a personal thing and that it's always brought on by somethin'… bad, so… I shouldn't have brought it up."

It was true that a shifter's ability to shift was brought on by a catalyst event—something super stressful or physically harmful, typically. Like a car accident, or being beaten up by assholes, or anything like that.

Shifters were actually descendants of the fae, many generations removed. Usually, the fae ancestor was so far back, no one even remembered they had a fae in the family tree at all. At least not until after something horrible happened, and they shifted for the first time.

Nearly all shifters had a catalyst event story.

Nearly all, but not every single one.

"No one knows what my catalyst event was," I said after taking a sip of water.

"What? How is that possible? Do you not remember it?"

I sent him a small smile. "My dads adopted me when I was six months old. They thought they were adopting a human, but one day I shifted and scared the crap out of them. They tried to find out what happened to me, but there was no record at all. My birth parents left me outside the orphanage in the middle of the night and made a run for it. As far as my memories go, I can't remember there being a time when I didn't shift into my wolf."

"Wow. That's… crazy."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I suppose so."

He stared at me for a long time while I finished making his sandwich. Finally, he muttered under his breath, "I'd love to see your wolf."

I couldn't help the smile that popped out of me. "Really?"

His head snapped up at attention. "You heard that?"

"Shifter, remember? My sense of hearing is better than a human's. Or a fae's, actually."

"Oh. Right."

"So do you really want to see my wolf?"

He sucked in a breath, staring at me for a beat or two, before he nodded. "I do."

With a grin, I pushed his plate over to him. "Eat up, and then I'll shift for you. Have you ever met a shifter in their shifted form before?"

"Only in passing. Never up close."

"Well, I give you permission to pet and touch me all you want."

His eyes met mine and heated, and I felt my cheeks pinken because I really hadn't meant it like that. He smirked at me before giving me a break and focusing on his sandwich.

As soon as he looked away, I blew out a breath, then walked over to the pantry and grabbed some chips for us to share. My pantry was looking pretty bare, so I'd have to go to the store or have groceries delivered either today or tomorrow. Especially because I wanted to spoil Bel as much as possible to try and get him to stay here for a long time…maybe forever.