Chapter 17 - Sonya

The bar is alive tonight, but I’m too wrapped up in my own thoughts to enjoy it. I take a sip of my drink, something fruity and way too strong, hoping it’ll drown out the mess swirling in my head. Jane and Piper are on either side of me, chatting and trying to pull me into their conversation, but it’s like I’m stuck in my own bubble, replaying every word of the argument with Jack.

“I can’t believe you let him get under your skin like that,” Jane says, nudging me with her elbow as she leans closer. “It’s Jack. Mr. Thick-Skinned, Playboy Extraordinaire. Since when do you let a guy like him get to you?”

I back out a laugh, but it sounds forced even to me. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just stupid like that,” I mutter, swirling the ice in my glass. “I should’ve known better.”

Piper raises an eyebrow, sipping her cocktail with a knowing look that makes me squirm. “Oh, come on, Sonya. There’s more to this than just some argument. Spill it.”

I glance between the two of them. Their expectant faces are illuminated by the neon bar lights. I’ve been holding this in for too long, and the weight of it is pressing down on my chest like a heavy stone. But now, with their eyes on me, waiting, I feel the dam start to crack.

“We kissed,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. “And it wasn’t just some casual kiss. It was… more.”

Jane’s eyes widen, and she nearly chokes on her drink. “Wait, what? When did this happen?”

I shrug, staring down at the table. “A few nights ago. We didn’t have sex, but we did… do things. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me… I thought maybe—” I cut myself off, swallowing the rest of the sentence. “I thought maybe he wanted me, too.”

Piper leans back in her seat, and her expression shifts to something softer, more understanding. “And you think he doesn’t?”

“I don’t know,” I admit with a groan. “I mean, look at me—I’m not his type. I’m not the kind of girl Jack Thomas falls for.”

Jane rolls her eyes, setting her glass down with a thud. “Oh, please. You’re telling me you don’t see the way he looks at you? Like he’s a starving man and you’re a four-course meal?”

I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Yeah, right. Jack’s never looked at me like that. He’s just… he’s Jack. He’s a flirt. A playboy, like you just said. He’s probably just being nice.”

Piper shakes her head, and her eyes practically bug out of her head. “You’re blind, Sonya. I’ve known Jack a long time, and I’ve never seen him act like this with anyone. Yes, he was all of those things Jane just mentioned, but he’s not messing around with you. If he was, he would’ve slept with you and moved on by now. That’s how he’s always been. And I haven’t even seen him look at another woman since you came along, for whatever that’s worth.”

I stare at her, trying to process what she’s saying. The Jack I know is confident, charming, always with a sly grin and a quick comeback. But the Jack they’re describing—the one who’s been avoiding other women and looking at me like I’m something special—is a stranger.

“That doesn’t make sense,” I say, shaking my head. “He’s… he’s Jack. If he wanted me, he would’ve said something. He would’ve done something.”

Jane snorts, crossing her arms. “Maybe he has. Maybe you’re just too caught up in your own head to see it.”

I blink a few times. I’ve been so focused on everything I think I’m not that I never stopped to consider what Jack might actually see in me. Maybe he does care. Maybe he’s just as scared as I am, and neither of us knows how to take that leap.

Piper leans forward, her eyes locked on mine. “You’re enough, Sonya. You’ve always been enough. Jack’s an idiot sometimes, but he’s not blind. He sees you, the real you, and he cares. And if you can’t see that, maybe you need to stop looking at all the ways you think you’re lacking and start seeing what everyone else already does.”

Her words hang in the air, heavy with truth, and for the first time, I feel a crack in the wall I’ve built around myself. Maybe I’ve been wrong. Maybe I’ve been so afraid of getting hurt again that I’ve been pushing Jack away without even realizing it. But now, with Jane and Piper’s words echoing in my ears, I feel something shift.

I take a deep breath, setting my drink down and meeting their eyes. “I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to go through that again.”

Jane reaches out, her hand squeezing mine. “You don’t have to figure it all out tonight. But don’t shut Jack out just because you’re scared. Give him a chance to prove you wrong.”

I nod, swallowing back the lump in my throat. I don’t have all the answers, and I’m still terrified of what might happen if I let myself fall for Jack. But maybe, just maybe, it’s time to stop letting fear dictate every decision I make.

Piper raises her glass with a grin spreading across her face. “To taking chances,” she declares, clinking her glass against mine. “And to finally seeing what’s right in front of you.”

I smile, a real one this time, and take a sip of my drink. The alcohol burns on the way down, but it’s nothing compared to the fire that’s starting to light in my chest. Maybe I’ve been wrong about Jack. Maybe I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. But if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that I can’t keep running from this.

For the first time in a long time, I feel a spark of hope. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I think I’m ready to find out.

I’m still reeling from what Jane and Piper said, though. Jack cares about me? Actually cares? It’s almost too much to believe, and yet, when I replay the way he looks at me, the way he’s held back when things could have gone further, it starts to make a twisted kind of sense. My head’s spinning, and not just from the drinks we’ve been throwing back like they’re water.

Jane nudges me before she asks, “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

I blink at her, the bar’s noise buzzing around us like a hive of confused bees. “About what?”

She rolls her eyes, nudging me again, harder this time. “About Jack, obviously. You’re gonna just sit here and let things fester, or are you gonna go talk to him?”

Piper chimes in, “Yeah, Sonya. I mean, if he’s been all celibate and mopey because of you, maybe you should, you know, do something about it.”

My heart is a tangled mess of doubt and hope, and it’s beating way too fast for sitting still. I down the last of my drink, letting the burn steady my nerves. “I… I think I need to talk to him,” I finally say, the words stumbling out as I set my glass down with a determined clink.

Piper grins. “That’s the spirit. Go get your man.”

It’s enough to get me on my feet. My legs are a little wobbly, but sure of their direction. I toss some cash on the table, ignoring Jane’s protests that the drinks are on her, and give them both a quick, uncertain smile. “I’ll see you guys later.”

As I step outside, the cool night air hits me like a wake-up call, cutting through the haze of alcohol and swirling thoughts. My breath fogs in the air, mingling with the sharp scent of pine and the faint sound of distant music. I pause, taking a deep breath and trying to steady the rush of adrenaline that’s making my hands shake.

I’m really going to do this. I’m going to tell Jack how I feel. And maybe it’s the alcohol giving me courage, or maybe it’s the realization that if I don’t do this now, I’ll regret it forever. Either way, I start walking, my steps quickening with every beat of my heart.

When I get to Jack’s house, the lights are still on, spilling a soft glow onto the lawn. I stand there for a moment, staring at the door, my thoughts tumbling around like leaves caught in the wind. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if this ruins everything?

But then I think about his eyes, the way they softened when he looked at me, like I was something precious, and it gives me the push I need.

I push the door open, and my heart is pounding so hard, I swear he can probably hear it from wherever he is in the house. “Jack!” I call out, my voice louder than I intended, echoing in the stillness.

He appears in the hallway, and surprise flashes across his face when he sees me. His hair is tousled like he’s been running his hands through it in frustration the way he tends to do, and there’s a tiredness in his eyes that tugs at something deep inside me. “Sonya? What are you—”

“I need to talk to you,” I blurt out, cutting him off before I lose my nerve. My voice wavers, but I press on, driven by a mix of liquid courage and sheer determination. “About us.”

Jack frowns, crossing his arms as he leans against the wall, trying to look casual but failing miserably. “Sonya, it’s late. You’ve been drinking. Maybe we should talk about this another time.”

I take a step closer, refusing to back down. “No, Jack. We’ve been dancing around this for too long. I can’t keep pretending like I don’t… like I don’t feel something for you. Like I don’t want you.”

His eyes widen, and I can see the struggle in his expression, the way he’s fighting with himself, torn between what he wants and what he thinks is right. “Sonya, you’re drunk,” he says softly, but there’s a roughness to his voice that sends shivers down my spine. “We shouldn’t—”

“I’m tipsy, not wasted,” I snap, closing the distance between us until I’m right in front of him, so close I can feel the heat radiating off his body. “And I know what I’m saying. I want you, Jack. I’ve wanted you since the moment you walked into that bar and looked at me like I was the only person in the room.”

He doesn’t respond, but his eyes flicker with something raw and unguarded. For a second, I think he’s going to pull away again, to retreat behind that wall he’s so good at throwing up. But then he moves, his hands reaching out to cup my face, his thumbs brushing against my cheeks in a way that’s almost reverent.

“Sonya,” he murmurs, and there’s a tremble in his voice that I’ve never heard before. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted this. But you’re not thinking clearly, and I don’t want to—”

I don’t let him finish. I surge forward, capturing his lips in a kiss that’s desperate and messy and everything I’ve been holding back for far too long. He freezes for a split second, and then he’s kissing me back, his hands tangling in my hair as he pulls me closer, like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go.

The kiss deepens, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s not just heat and desire—it’s a connection, a spark that ignites every nerve in my body. I press against him, my hands roaming over his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips. He’s solid and real, and the way he’s holding me makes me feel like I’m finally where I’m supposed to be.

“Sonya, we shouldn’t…” Jack mumbles against my lips, but his hands are still on me, sliding down to my waist and pulling me even closer. I can feel the tension in his grip, the way he’s fighting against his own restraint, and it only makes me want him more.

“Then stop,” I whisper back, my breath mingling with his as I trail kisses along his jawline, down to the pulse that’s thrumming at his neck. “Stop holding back. I’m right here, Jack. I’m not going anywhere.”

He groans, a sound that’s half frustration and half surrender, and suddenly he’s lifting me, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carries me down the hall. My back hits the wall, and I gasp as the cool surface grounds me for a split second before his mouth is on mine again, devouring me like he can’t get enough.

But then, just as quickly as it started, he pulls away, his breathing ragged as he sets me back on my feet. “Sonya, I can’t… you’re drunk, and this isn’t how I want it to be. You deserve better than that.”

I try to protest, but he silences me with a gentle kiss to my forehead. His hands linger on my shoulders as if he’s trying to steady himself. “Let’s get you to bed,” he says softly, and there’s a tenderness in his voice that makes my chest ache.

I let him guide me to his room. My steps are unsteady, but my resolve is still firm. I want to argue, to tell him that I’m fine, that this is what I want, but the exhaustion is creeping in, blurring the edges of my vision. Jack pulls back the covers, and I slide into the bed, my head sinking into the pillow as he tucks the blanket around me like I’m something fragile.

He hesitates for a moment, then sighs, kicking off his shoes and lying down beside me, fully clothed. It’s not the grand, passionate moment I imagined, but as he wraps an arm around me and pulls me close, the warmth of his body against mine is enough to quiet the doubts swirling in my mind.

“Goodnight, Sonya,” he whispers, his voice barely audible in the darkness.

I close my eyes, letting the steady rhythm of his breathing lull me into a half-sleep. For once, I feel safe, like I’ve finally found a place where I belong. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or how we’ll navigate the tangled mess we’ve made, but right now, with Jack’s arm draped over me and the faint scent of him filling the air, I allow myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this is the start of something real.

And as sleep begins to pull me under, I can’t help but whisper back, “Goodnight, Jack.”