Chapter 12 - Jane

I’ve been lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. It’s the middle of the day, and there are a million other things I should be doing, but I can’t seem to force myself to get up and do any of them. I’m too busy trying to sort my head out.

I’ve been spending so much time with Reiner, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve gotten sucked into his world. I’m not the kind of girl who dates a guy like him. Girls like me don’t end up with guys like him. Not in the movies, not in books, not in real life. Guys like him don’t want girls like me.

I don’t fit into his world. I’m not a part of his pack. I don’t even live in the same town. But the way he was this morning with my aunt and uncle, the way he acted, the way he spoke, I almost believed him. I almost thought that maybe, just maybe, he really did want me.

After a while, I could actually picture it. Me living with him, waking up beside him every morning, sharing his bed every night. I could see us going to pack meetings together, him holding my hand as he introduces me to his friends and family. I could see us going on runs, him chasing me through the woods and tackling me to the ground. I could picture us making love under the moon, the cool grass tickling my naked skin. I could see it all, and it felt real.

But how could it be real? How could a guy like him, a man who’s never had a serious relationship, suddenly decide that I’m the one he wants to be with? It doesn’t make sense.

I’m not the kind of girl a guy picks. I’m not the girl a guy chooses. I’m the girl a guy settles for because he can’t have the one he wants. I’m the girl a guy sleeps with and then moves on from. I’m the girl a guy has fun with but never takes home, and I’ve always been okay with that. Well, not okay with it, but I’ve accepted it. I’ve learned to accept it.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I’m suddenly reaching for something I can’t have. I’m not a stupid girl. I’m not naive. I’m not a romantic. I’ve never been a romantic. I’ve never wanted a prince to come sweep me off my feet. I’ve never dreamed of a happily-ever-after.

There’s a reason I’m still a virgin at twenty-three years old. I’ve had two relationships, but they were short-lived. The guys I dated were never interested in anything serious, and I wasn’t about to give up my V card to a guy who didn’t care about me.

I’m not sure what’s different about Reiner, but something is. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there, and it’s pulling me in.

My phone rings, and I reach for it, grateful for the distraction. It’s Piper, so I shake the thoughts of Reiner from my head and answer.

“Hey, Pipes.”

“Jane, have you heard?”

“Heard what?”

“About the scouting team,” she says. “They were attacked. They’re back, but they’re hurt.”

“Oh, god,” I gasp. “Is everyone okay?”

“I think so,” she says. “But they’re all at the infirmary with the healer. Jane… Reiner was with them. I think he’s hurt.”

I bolt upright, clutching my phone to my ear as my heart thunders in my chest. “Where is the healer? Where are they? How do I get there? I need to see him. I need to see him right now.”

“I’ll pick you up,” she says. “I’m coming.”

I hang up and scramble for clothes, throwing on the first things I find. I yank a brush through my hair and pull it up into a messy bun. I’m out the door before I can think twice about it.

Aunt Gwen chases me down the steps to the trailer, calling my name, and I turn to face her.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” she demands. “You look pale.”

“It’s Reiner,” I say. “I have to go. I have to see him.”

She reaches for me, and I lean in, letting her wrap me in a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay, Jane. Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

I nod, but I’m not sure I believe her. She keeps asking me what’s wrong, but I can’t say it out loud. Part of me knows it’s absurd to get so worked up over a fake boyfriend, but the other part of me can’t help it. Even if I’m not in love with the guy, even if this is just a silly arrangement, I still care about him. And I can’t stand the thought of him getting hurt.

When I see Piper’s car roll to a stop, I run to it, flinging open the door and sliding inside. Aunt Gwen hurries to the driver’s side and taps on the window. Her daughter rolls it down and says, “Hey, Mom.”

“What’s happened? Is everything okay?”

“The scouts were attacked,” Piper says. “The boys are at the infirmary.”

“Oh, dear,” she gasps. “That’s awful. Jane, honey, Uncle Richard and I will meet you there, okay? Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”

I don’t reply. I can’t. I’m too busy panicking. I need to get to Reiner. I need to see him. I need to know that he’s okay.

The drive to the infirmary seems to take forever, and I’m antsy the entire time. My leg is bouncing, and I’m picking at my fingernails, and I can’t seem to sit still.

“Calm down,” Piper says. “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s a shifter. He’ll heal.”

“But what if he’s not fine? What if he’s badly hurt? What if he’s dying?”

“He’s not dying,” she tells me. “I promise.”

“How do you know? Rogues killed his parents, Piper. Did you know that? They were murdered. By rogues.”

She draws in a shaky breath and nods. “Rafe told me that, yes. But listen, Rafe is there, too, and you don’t see me freaking out.”

“Rafe is your mate,” I remind her. “Of course you’re not freaking out. If something horrible had happened to him, you would feel it. Reiner and I haven’t… we’re not…” I almost let the truth slip, but I pull it back.

Piper glances over at me, and I’m just praying she’s too distracted by the situation to notice. Thankfully, she doesn’t press the issue.

“You’ll see,” she tells me. “Reiner is fine. Just wait.”

When we arrive at the infirmary, I’m out of the car before it even fully stops moving. I race to the building and burst through the doors, looking around frantically. There are people everywhere, and I can’t find him.

“Jane!”

I hear my name and turn to see Rafe striding toward me. I rush to him, and he wraps me in a hug.

“Are you okay?” I ask him. “Where’s Reiner?”

“I’m fine, but we were ambushed. Reiner got attacked, but he’s okay. He’s back there with the healer.”

“Where?”

“Down the hall and to the left,” he says, pointing.

I don’t waste any time. I hurry down the hallway, following his instructions until I spot a sign that reads “Healer’s Office.” I push through the door and freeze.

There’s a young, beautiful blond woman standing over Reiner as he lies on a bed. She’s leaning over him with her hands pressed to his chest, and he’s shirtless.

I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks, and I’m suddenly not sure what I’m doing here. I’m not his girlfriend. I’m not his mate. I’m not his anything. What if he doesn’t want me here? What if this is a mistake?

“Jane?”

I snap out of my trance and look up. Reiner is staring at me, and the woman is watching me curiously.

“Hi,” I say softly. “I heard what happened, and I was worried. I came to see how you were.”

“I’m fine,” he says. “Just a few cuts and scrapes.”

“He was lucky,” the woman says. “If this gash had been just a few centimeters to the left, it could’ve hit his heart.”

“Don’t scare her,” Reiner chides her. “It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” the woman echoes. “You almost died. If you’d been human, you would’ve.”

“Well, thank god I’m not,” he mutters.

“I’m sorry,” I say, stepping forward. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m Jane. I’m Reiner’s girlfriend.”

I hold out my hand, and the woman shakes it. “I’m Clara. I’m the healer.”

“Nice to meet you,” I say. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

“It’s my job,” she says. “But you’re welcome. I just have a couple more bandages to apply, and then he’s good to go.”

“I’ll do it,” I offer before I can stop myself.

Clara gives me a strange look, and I can’t blame her. I’m acting like a crazy person. I’m sure I look like a crazy person. I have zero medical training, and she’s the healer, but as stupid as it sounds, I don’t want her touching him.

“I can do it,” I repeat. “I’m his girlfriend. I should be the one to do it.”

“Okay,” Clara agrees after a moment. “I’ll go grab the supplies.”

I watch her leave and then turn to Reiner. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have come. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m glad you did.” He flashes me a smile, and my knees go weak. “I’m fine, really. It’s just a few scratches. I’ll be back to normal in no time.”

He sits up and reaches for me, pulling me between his legs so I’m standing between his thighs. He’s looking up at me, and I’m so aware of his bare chest. My hands glide across his shoulders, and I’m careful not to touch his wounds.

“Does it hurt?”

“Nah,” he says. “I’ve had worse. I’ll be fine.”

“I was so scared,” I admit. “When I heard you were hurt, I was so scared.”

“I’m fine,” he assures me, cupping my cheek. “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”

My eyes fall to his lips, and I lean in, unable to resist. I press my mouth to his, and he lets out a soft groan. His fingers tangle in my hair, and he deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding against mine. But then, just as quickly as it started, he pulls away, and my heart sinks.

“Jane,” he whispers. “We shouldn’t.”

Of course we shouldn’t. Because there’s no one around to see, so what’s the point? I take a step back, reminding myself of my place here. None of this is real. This is all pretend, a means to an end, and there’s no point in acting if there is no audience.

“Right,” I agree. “Sorry.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but before he does, Clara reenters the room.

“Here are some bandages and ointment,” she explains, handing them to me. “He will heal pretty quickly, but in the meantime, you’ll want to change the dressings and reapply the salve twice a day. If you need anything, just stop by. I’ll be around.”

“Thanks, Clara,” he says.

She smiles and nods, and I’m grateful she’s not sticking around to witness this awkward moment.

“Let me help you with those,” I tell him, reaching for the bandage.

“I can do it,” he says.

“I’m sure you can, but I’m here and I want to do it. Please?”

He sighs and nods. “Okay. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

I get to work applying the bandages, and he watches me. I can feel his eyes on me, and I’m suddenly nervous. My hands are shaking, and my breath is coming out in short, choppy bursts. I can’t focus on what I’m doing.

“Jane, I─”

“Oh my goodness, you poor boy!” Aunt Gwen rushes into the room, followed closely by Uncle Richard. She hurries to the bed and gathers him in a hug, ignoring the way he winces. “I’m so sorry! I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“Aunt Gwen, careful,” I caution her. “He’s hurt.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” she says, releasing him. “I’m just so relieved. I’m so happy you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” Reiner says. “Really. I’m okay.”

“What happened?” Uncle Richard asks.

“Some rogues have been spotted in the area, and we were trying to track them down. We were ambushed, and they nearly killed us. We were lucky. We all got out of there and made it home. Can’t say the same for all of them.”

“This is a nightmare!” Aunt Gwen exclaims. “See? We told you the other night, didn’t we? It’s not safe out there. The rogues are getting bolder. They’re attacking our people, and they’re killing them. They’re not going to stop until everyone is dead.”

“We’re working on it,” Reiner assures her. “We’ll catch them.”

“They’re rogues,” Uncle Richard says. “They’re not like the rest of us. They don’t follow the rules. They don’t care about the treaty or the peace we’ve had for the last century. They’re wild, and they’re dangerous, and they’re not going to stop.”

“You’re right,” Reiner agrees. “But we’ll stop them. We’ll make sure they can’t hurt anyone else.”

“But they─”

“Guys,” I intercede, “maybe we should talk about this later. Reiner is still healing. He shouldn’t be stressed.”

“You’re right,” Aunt Gwen says. “I’m sorry, I got a little carried away. I’m just so worried. I don’t know what we’d do if something happened to you, Reiner. You’re like a son to me. Ever since Jane brought you home, I’ve felt like you were a part of the family.”

Guilt twists in my gut. It’s going to break her heart when this is all over.

“I’m fine,” he says. “I promise. I’ll heal up in no time. I’ll be back to normal soon.”

“Good,” she says. “And until then, you’ll be staying with us. I insist. Jane will help you, and if you need anything, I’ll be there, too. We’ll make sure you have everything you need.”

“That’s not necessary,” he protests. “I’m not an invalid. I can take care of myself.”

“Nonsense,” she insists. “You’re injured. You’re staying with us.”

He looks to me for help, but I shrug. I can’t argue with her. I’m not even sure I want to.

“Fine,” he concedes. “But only until I’m better.”

“Of course,” my aunt agrees. “Now, let’s get you home.”

Well, I guess that’s settled. I’m moving in with a boyfriend I’m not really dating.

Great.