74. Darcy

CHAPTER 74

DARCY

In the elevator up to our room, Hayden smiles at me, then down at our joined hands. His smile is so soft and yearning, and he's so deadly handsome in his gray suit, that I can't get a full breath.

When the elevator dings at our floor, he leads me to our room and unlocks the door and holds it open for me. We step inside the suite overlooking the lake—the room is way too big and luxurious, but when I told him this when we arrived, he backed me up into the bedroom and kissed me on the bed until I forgot how to speak.

He kneels to help me with my shoes, and I smile as I bring my hands to his shoulders for balance. He's so careful with the thin strap around my ankle, and the caring gesture tugs at my heart.

All the birthday gifts he gave me over the years. All the times he smiled at me and his gaze lingered a moment longer than other people's gazes would.

Weddings stir up emotions within people. I know this. And I know Hayden and I are new and fresh.

I watched Jamie and Pippa get married, and I thought about Hayden and me up there instead .

"Why did you agree to be my wingman?" I ask, barely above a whisper.

He sits back on his knees, regarding me, resting his warm, strong hands on the back of my calves. "Because he never gave you choices." His brow furrows like he's remembering it. "How could you possibly say no in that situation?" His throat works. "I agreed to wingman you and teach you to be a player because I wanted you to have choice and control. I wanted you to feel strong and make decisions for yourself." He huffs. "Even if it fucking killed me to watch you date other guys."

My throat tightens with emotion. For the first time, I feel truly seen. No matter what, Hayden's watching out for me. He always was.

He's so selfless. The universe used all the best ingredients when they made Hayden Owens.

He gets to his feet and takes the seat beside me. His lips press to my forehead, hands framing my jaw. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." My heart trips. "Everything's better than ever. Too good to be true, I think."

His mouth tilts into a smile. "I know the feeling."

"I told myself you were a player and didn't want a girlfriend or commitment, because if you did want those things, you'd be perfect." My heart beats harder as he watches me, listening, absently playing with my hair. "And then I'd have no reason not to feel all the things I feel for you."

"Like what?"

My hands settle on his firm chest, toying with the seams of his shirt. "I'd realize how kind and loving you are, how you light up every room with your sense of humor and your smile. How you're so much more than a pretty face and a good fuck." My stomach twists in anger that anyone could have ever said that to him. "You care about people and you make people feel seen and special. You grew my confidence and helped me find myself when I didn't know how."

If he ever wanted those things that Jamie and Rory have—the fiancée, the settled-down life—he'd make someone deliriously happy.

Yearning yanks tight in my chest. I want that someone to be me .

I love him.

His mouth tips up into a gentle smile, and he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. "Watching you become who you want to be, Darce, has been the best experience of my life."

I blink, and my pulse stumbles. Oh, god. I love Hayden. Of course I love him.

How could I not? He's wonderful. He's kind, affectionate, funny, optimistic, and hardworking. But it's more than that. It's that we love so many of the same things. That I love how he cringes when I hide that stupid gnome around our apartment. That he gets me the perfect gift I didn't know I wanted.

I take another deep breath, trying to settle my racing heart, and inhale a lungful of Hayden's scent. My skin tingles where he's touching my hair, tucking it over my ears and pushing it back behind my shoulders, and I'm flooded with impatience. I don't want to spend another moment sitting here and talking.

I'm not ready to tell him how I feel, but I can show him.

I slip my hand into his and pull him to the bedroom.