68. Darcy

CHAPTER 68

DARCY

"Jess was my high school girlfriend."

I blink, thoughts reeling. Girlfriend. Girlfriend? He's never spoken about her. Kit never mentioned her. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend in high school."

"Uh-huh." He chews his bottom lip. "Or, I thought I did. After we lost our virginity, she wasn't interested in more. Apparently, I was fun enough for her to tell her friends about, though." His expression turns wry. "I wanted to be good in bed, but I turned out to be…" He swallows. "Too good, I guess. I'm the hookup guy, not the boyfriend guy."

I stand on the sidewalk in silence, processing this and watching his face.

"That was a long time ago. You were just a teenager."

He shakes his head. "No, Darce, don't you see? I thought I could leave it behind in high school, but the reputation followed me to university."

It almost sounds like he's upset about it. Like he never wanted this reputation. "You said you cut it off before it gets serious. You always tell women upfront that you're not interested in a relationship. "

"I'd rather be clear from the beginning than get my hopes up."

Oh god . The rules are for him, not for the women he dates. My heart sinks.

Fierce protectiveness floods me at the idea of those girls hurting Hayden, making him feel like he wasn't worth more than a hookup.

Hayden's spectacular. He's the whole package—kindness and humor and looks. How could they have not seen that?

"And you see me like everyone else," he says quietly.

Pain wraps around my chest, tightening, and I shake my head. "No, Hayden, I don't."

"You do," he says with more force, eyes sharp and vulnerable. "You saw it as soon as you met me. Remember that party, first week of school?"

The hockey party.

"Kit said I was the biggest player he knew and you agreed with him. You said ‘I can totally see that.'" He crosses his arms and glances away.

"I remember it." My voice is soft, barely above a whisper, as the memory replays in my head. "I remember him talking about how easy you have it with women."

He was so handsome and funny and friendly, and all week, I'd been hoping he'd ask me out. I was disappointed when he didn't. When Kit said that Hayden was a player, I clung to it as a reason. It wasn't a reflection of me ; it was just the way he was.

A few months ago, I called him "king of the players." You're like their leader , I said. When he tested the waters and said having a girlfriend didn't look so bad, I basically told him he wasn't cut out for it.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I just thought—" I shake my head. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." His voice is tight.

It's not fine. How could I have not known? I've known Hayden for years.

I saw what I wanted to see, because it was easier that way. My mind flicks to the game against Calgary and how furious Kit was.

"What did you tell Kit?" Last time I asked this, he said he told him the truth, but we were too distracted with having sex against the wall for me to push him to elaborate.

Hayden's eyes meet mine and he sucks in a tight breath. "That I was serious about you. That I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

My skin is tingling. How could I have been so, so fucking wrong about Hayden? All these years, I saw what everyone else did.

I'll be turning over this information in my head all night, all week. For years, probably. I was so wrong. But right now, I need to make this situation right.

I step in front of him and set my hands flat on his chest, looking up into his ocean-blue eyes. He gives me a confused look.

"Hi." I give him a small, friendly smile. "You're Hayden, right?"

His mouth slants and his expression is confused, but he nods.

"I'm Darcy." I step closer until I'm almost pressed against his body. "I've had a crush on you from the second I saw you in class."

His mouth tips up, and something wavers in his eyes. His hands come to my elbows, holding me. "Is this how you normally introduce yourself, Darcy?"

I shake my head. "Just to you. Don't think you can fool me with your good looks, Hayden Owens."

His eyes glint with amusement. "Oh, yeah? "

"Uh-huh. You may be the hottest guy I've ever seen, but I can tell you're kind and funny, and you have a good heart. You're an incredible hockey player, not just because of how fast and strong you are, but because you care about your team and making your coach proud. And you probably like fantasy romance, don't you?"

"I do, actually." His mouth tips higher, and my chest feels so much lighter. "Incredible how you know all of this and we've just met."

I smile. "And I bet you always make sure everyone feels included at parties and stuff."

"My mom says that people always remember how you made them feel," he adds quietly, stroking a thumb over the back of my hand.

"The way people treat you is a reflection of them, not you." Emotion clogs my throat—anger that Hayden's felt like this for so long, guilt that I contributed to it, and the overwhelming need to make it better. "Would you ever tell me that I deserved how Kit treated me?"

"Never," he bites out, frowning. "That was on him, Darce. He's the asshole who didn't deserve you."

I give him a patient smile. See? my expression says.

Something settles in his eyes. He believes me, I think. My heart tugs, and I lean forward to kiss him.

"Maybe some people say you're a player," I whisper against his lips, "but I know the truth. You're so much more."