61. Hayden

CHAPTER 61

HAYDEN

I think I'm going to die.

I've never had a blow job like this, so leisurely but intense, loving, and intimate. I'm on the brink of coming, but Darcy won't let me. She holds back, keeping me right at the edge, searing every thought in my brain with the lust racing through me. At the base of my spine, pleasure gathers, hot and tight.

All I can see is her.

Darcy's gorgeous like an angel, on her knees for me, laving attention and pleasure upon me. It's never been like this. I'm never coming down from the high of this moment, never forgetting how perfect she looks, how soft and sweet she is.

Her hand works me steadily, adding to the overwhelming sensation. I gather her hair and wind it around my fist, gentle not to pull but firm enough to hold her head still while my hips speed up. I'm so fucking careful with her. Around my cock, she hums, eyes closing like she loves this, and on her arms, all the hairs stand on end.

It's all I need to stumble closer to the edge. My body seizes up, muscles tightening, pulse pounding in my ears.

"Coming," I choke out, unable to control the movement of my hips as I hold her head. "I really want to come in your mouth," I gasp, balls tightening. "Is that okay?"

"Mhm," she murmurs around me with warmth and affection in her eyes, and the last thread of my control snaps.

Her mouth is too perfect, too warm and soft and wet, and the way her tongue swirls over the head of my cock melts my brain. My head falls back as I come, eyes clenched tight, hot pressure spiraling up my legs and squeezing the base of my spine like a tight fist. I jerk my head up just in time to see her swallowing me down, eyes on me, the hot, slick slide of her tongue rubbing the underside of my cock. It's an orgasm that lasts and lasts as she sucks me through it, drags me to the edge of sanity and back with that perfect mouth.

"God, you're so good." I can't take my eyes off her. "Such a good girl."

She hums again, slowing down as my brain puts itself back together.

My eyes prick with tears, and I don't know whether it's because of how hard I just came or because Darcy's sweet, caring attention makes me feel whole for the first time in my life.

"Come here." I pull her up to standing and into my chest, still catching my breath against her temple, inhaling her sweet scent. Can she feel my heart pounding? Can she see her name etched across it in her loopy, feminine writing? I wrap my arms tight around her, holding her to me.

"Thank you," I whisper against her hairline. It feels so inadequate, but she raises up on her toes and catches my mouth.

"It was my pleasure."

Warmth and pressure grow in my chest, demanding attention.

"That was the most effective painkiller I've ever had." I don't even feel the pain in my shoulder.

"I thought it might help." She scores her teeth over my pec with a playful grin. "Get in bed," she says gently, pressing her hands to my waist to push me back. I sit down on the mattress, hands framing her waist, pressing my lips to the curve beneath her breast in slow, snipping kisses.

She brings her hands to my hair and drags them through it, sending tingles down my spine.

"Not tonight." She steps away, out of my reach, and pulls back the duvet and gestures for me to get in. Off my alarmed, questioning look—she's not actually going to try to sleep in her bed tonight, right?—she grins again. "I'm going to get you some ice and painkillers. You'll thank me tomorrow."

My instincts protest, because I've never walked away from an intimate experience without ensuring my partner is satisfied, but she just smiles again.

"Tonight was about you," she says.

I sink against the pillows, staring at her in confusion. "Are you sure?"

"Mhm." Her eyes are warm and soft, hair spilling around her shoulders, and my heart tugs.

This is new to me, being put first like this. Not being expected to perform. For Darcy, I'm eager to make her happy, but there's a buried, broken part of me that's still terrified it's my only value.

Maybe Darcy's different, though. If anyone is, it's her.

She heads to the kitchen and I lie in bed, catching my breath, listening to my heart beat in my ears and the soft sounds of Darcy filling a glass of water, then opening and closing the freezer before she returns. She settles the ice pack, wrapped in a towel, across my shoulder and hands me the painkillers and a glass of water, supervising with a protective and worried expression as I take them .

"I'm okay," I tell her with a small smile. "I've been hit before. It's part of the job."

Her throat works, and she climbs into bed beside me, taking care not to touch me, but I pull her against me. "I know. Doesn't mean I like watching it happen, though. And doesn't mean I'm not going to take care of you."

She rests her head on the pillow and I bring her hand to my mouth, giving her fingers a kiss. When I release them, she skims them up and down the uninjured side of my chest in a calming, lazy motion that slows my thoughts.

"Is this part for me or for you?" I ask, and she chuckles.

"Be quiet," she murmurs.

I love her, I realize. I've loved her for years. Maybe since she walked into English class that first week of university, or the first conversation we had about The Northern Sword , or the first time I opened my blinds and screamed at the weird gnome peering into the window while she collapsed on my bed, laughing her ass off.

Or maybe I fell a little in love with her every time I saw her, every time we laughed together or texted or hugged, until I was at full capacity and head over fucking heels for her.

When she showed up in Vancouver, newly single and eager to start fresh, I never stood a chance. That I even thought I could pretend my feelings didn't exist, or that we were just friends, is fucking laughable.

She's always been the girl for me.

My mind flicks to the text from Kit. "We're playing Calgary next week." It's our last game of the season.

Her fingers still on my chest. "I know."

"Kit wants to have a drink and catch up the night before."

She lifts her head, meeting my eyes with concern. "What do you want to do? "

A long pause. "I want to set the record straight with him, and I want to tell him about us."

Her eyes linger on me with uncertainty before she nods. "Okay."

She settles her head against my chest and closes her eyes.

I've got my priorities straight now. Kit may be Darcy's past, but I'm her future.