56. Darcy

CHAPTER 56

DARCY

Hayden and I are walking home from breakfast at a nearby greasy diner when he points at a store window.

"You would look so good in that."

I stop in my tracks. It's similar to the dress I bought last year, the tangerine one that hung in my closet with the tags on until I donated it.

The one Kit said was too loud.

The one I wish I hadn't gotten rid of. By giving it away without wearing it, I let him win.

"It's so bright," I say, as if I'm able to take my eyes off it. As if I don't feel an urgent tug in my chest toward it.

"Just try it on."

"I have nowhere to wear it." I don't know why I'm fighting this so hard. It's just a stupid dress.

It's not just a stupid dress , a voice insists in my head. It's more. It's that part of you that wasn't enough for him.

"You can wear it to Jamie and Pippa's wedding."

I do need a dress for their wedding. If Georgia were here, she'd already be hauling me into the store.

Hayden doesn't even know about the dress I bought and donated; that must mean something , right ?

"Okay." I nod resolutely. "I'll try it on."

"You look beautiful" is the first thing Hayden says when I step out of the dressing room. He leans against the wall, gaze raking up and down my form, wearing a stunned expression.

I feel beautiful. Just like the dress I tried on with Georgia that time, the dress is a perfect fit, like it was designed just for me.

But it's more than that. Wearing this dress feels like victory. Like I'm a little closer to wherever I wanted to be all those months ago, when I left Calgary, lost and confused.

"It's not too"—I try not to choke on the word—"loud?"

He makes a face like I'm ridiculous. "No way. And who cares if it is? You're gorgeous. What's wrong with standing out?"

"I'm going to someone else's wedding." I study my reflection, and my stomach does an excited flop at the way the dress skims over my body. "I don't want to stand out too much and steal their thunder."

"As long as you don't get on the table and try to take it off, I think you're good. Pippa doesn't really care about the spotlight; she just cares about playing music. Besides," his eyes soften and he gives me a sweet, encouraging smile, "I like it when you wear bright colors. It feels like you're not trying to hide anymore."

When I wear this dress, I no longer feel like the girl who was never good enough for Kit or the girl who got herself and her boss and mentor fired. I feel like Darcy Andersen, the woman who loves fantasy romance, making the world better with math, and who loves to laugh with her best friend, Hayden. The woman who has created a new life for herself here in Vancouver from nothing.

In this dress, I feel like myself.

His eyes trail down my form, his throat works, and he adjusts himself.

A grin tips up on my mouth. "Are you okay?"

"No," he laughs, looking away before his gaze swings back to my body, and his eyes spark with heat.

I step closer, walking slowly, and his eyes drag over me again. He wets his lips, and his cheekbones go pink.

I push my hair back behind my shoulders and his gaze drops to my collarbones. "Am I flustering you?"

"Yes." He grabs my waist and pulls me against him while I shake with laughter. "And if you don't stop, I'm following you back into that dressing room." He brushes his lips over the shell of my ear and I shudder with pleasure.

"Who knew you'd react like this to a dress."

"It's not the dress, Darce." His breath is warm on my neck. "It's you."

In the dressing room, I nearly choke at the price on the tag.

It's a lot. Like, two months' rent, if I were paying rent.

I'm not, though. Due to Hayden's insistence on me living there rent-free, I've saved up a bit of extra cash over the past few months. I've never spent this amount on one item of clothing before, but it's not just an item of clothing; it's something that makes me feel beautiful and special and unique. It makes me feel like myself.

"I'll take it to the front for you," Hayden says through the curtain, and I hand him the hanger .

When I head to the front, he's waiting, holding a thick paper bag with a white box inside.

"It's so weird," he says, shaking his head with a puzzled frown, but his eyes sparkle. "They gave it to us for free."

Behind him, the sales associate pretends to look busy but sneaks us glances, smiling to herself.

I sigh, smiling. "Hayden."

His hand comes to my lower back and he leads me out of the store. "They were like, please, sir, take this dress. You're doing us a favor."

"They did not say that and they definitely didn't call you sir . You bought it."

"And I said please, let me pay for it, and they insisted." He wraps his hand around mine as we walk home to the apartment.

I'm laughing. I'm trying to be stern, but I'm laughing.

"I'm paying you back. You can't let me live with you for free and buy overpriced dresses. It's not fair. I'm already so indebted to you."

"Hey." He stops walking and his eyebrows pinch. "Don't say that, okay? You don't owe me anything. Let me buy it for you." He gives me a patient, amused smile. "Consider it an early birthday present."

Right, it's in two weeks. Nerves twist in my stomach. I was supposed to have everything figured out by then. Between my growing worries about things with Hayden and the job offer I think about at least four times a day, nothing feels figured out. Nothing is quite right.

"You know I'm going to make your birthday special, right?" Hayden crooks an amused look at me. "We're celebrating."

"We don't need to do anything."

"I want to. I want to make it special for you." He presses a quick kiss to my temple and wraps his arm around my shoulder, tucking me against him.

My heart squeezes and I lean into him, smiling. I shouldn't be letting myself get swept up in him like this, but it's getting harder to stop.

Maybe one memorable birthday with Hayden wouldn't hurt.