39. Hayden

CHAPTER 39

HAYDEN

A few minutes later, Darcy unlocks the door of our apartment and I carry her inside.

"You can put me down now," she laughs.

I carry her to her bedroom and set her on her bed before I kneel on the floor, hands going to the thin strap of her heels.

"You don't have to—" she starts, but I already have the shoe off and I'm moving to the other one.

"Do you need a bandage?" I inspect her foot, fingers wrapped around her delicate ankle. "You're not bleeding."

She shakes her head as her mouth twists into a reluctant but pleased smile, and my heart stutters. "You always take such good care of me."

I wink at her. "That's what I'm here for."

"You're here for more than that." Her eyes move over me, and my skin prickles at her intense attention. "I always love hanging out with you."

I think about the lingerie she bought—that she's going to wear for some other guy—and the urge to make a move races through me.

"Welp, good night." I rise and toss her duvet over her head .

"It's nine o'clock," she laughs from under it, shoving it aside, hair all messed up and adorable. "It's too early to sleep."

Leaning against her doorway, I linger. I should leave. My eyes move around her room and land on the box on her desk. Just a corner of it is visible beneath a stack of papers.

Every night, I lie in bed, listening for that toy, but I haven't heard it yet. I don't know what I'll do when I do hear it. Just the thought of her using it on the other side of the wall sends blood rushing to my groin.

"How's the toy?"

Why did I ask that?

Her gaze flares with surprise and darts to mine, then away again. "I haven't used it."

There's a long pause of silence.

"I'm intimidated by it," she rushes out, not looking at me. Her cheeks go pink in the most adorable way. "I want to. I'm just nervous, I guess. Which sounds stupid."

"No." I run a hand over my hair. "It's not stupid. You can feel however you want to feel."

Our eyes meet before we both look away. A long pause of silence. My heart beats in my ears.

"Maybe you could help," she says, and my pulse goes wild. "Like, give me some pointers." The line of her throat moves as she swallows.

My gaze slides to her top, lingering on the neckline, picturing her wearing the lingerie from before.

We shouldn't. We really, really shouldn't step into this territory. It's getting harder for me to pretend I'm just doing this out of the goodness of my own heart.

"Is that what you want?" I try to breathe normally.

She nods, and my blood surges with nerves and anticipation.

"I want to tell you something, though." Her eyebrows pinch together and she looks down. The vulnerability in her expression makes me want to gather her up in my arms and hold her tight. "You're my best friend."

My heart does a hard thud in my chest. "You're my best friend, too, Darce."

"Really?" Her mouth lifts into the sweetest smile.

I can't help but chuckle. How can she not know? I spend every free moment with her. "Yeah, of course."

"Not Kit?" Her smile dims a fraction, and my chest aches.

An ugly, cold feeling weaves through me. He didn't brag about her. He didn't value her. He had her for years and he didn't build her up the way she deserved.

"After what you told me about New Year's," I admit, taking the seat beside her on the bed, "I don't want someone like that in my life."

Saying it out loud is a relief.

"At Christmas, when he went home to Ontario to visit family, and we hung out playing video games and eating chocolates?" I give her a wry smile, and her mouth curves. "I didn't miss him." My pinky shifts an inch so it's touching hers. "But I would have missed you."

I could never admit it before, could never even acknowledge it, because that would make me a fucking asshole for having those thoughts about my friend's girl.

She's not his girl anymore, though.

Surprise flares in her pretty green eyes. Her mouth tips into a small, hopeful smile. "I would have missed you, too."

Something settles in my chest, and for a long moment, we just look at each other. Tension hangs in the air, and she doesn't move her finger away from where it's touching mine.

"If we do this," she starts, biting her lip with an uncertain look, and my cock twitches, "it can't be weird after."

"Agreed." I nod hard. That's the last thing I want—a stilted, awkward turn to our friendship that ends in her moving out and us not talking anymore. My nightmare. "It won't be weird." Determination fires through me. "We won't let it."

My growing feelings for Darcy? They'll stay locked exactly where they are.

"I'm just showing you how to use the toy." My eyes linger on her mouth, plump and pretty. "We can be adults about this."

"Totally." Her throat moves and she tucks that bottom lip between her teeth.

I remember what it was like to kiss that bottom lip, to tug on it with my own teeth, and the gasp of pleasure she made. Arousal courses through me, tightening my body.

"You need to be warmed up."

"Warmed up?" She sounds dazed.

I clear my throat. "Turned on."

"Oh." Is she breathing harder than normal? "Maybe we should watch some porn or something." The corner of her mouth ticks up and our eyes meet. "You never did tell me what kind of weird stuff you're into."

The couple that looks like us? I can't show her that. She'll know. And yet I'm pulling out my phone, because why shouldn't Darcy have access to safe, healthy porn?

"There's a video you might like." I log in to my OnlyFans account. I'm only subscribed to one page, so it's easy to find. "It's a married couple." I scroll through their videos until I locate the one I'm thinking about. "She doesn't come in this video, but she enjoys it." Even talking about this with Darcy is making me hard. "It's all about her. Maybe that's a good way to start."

I take a deep breath and study her face. She's nervous, but there's a glint of fire in her eyes.

"Sounds good." She swallows and tucks her hair behind her ears.

The competitive version of me baited by Miller's stupid challenge the other week on the ice? He wakes up. She wants those fun dating experiences she missed out on? I'm going to make this the most memorable of her life.

"You don't need to come." My voice is low, and my heart pounds harder as our eyes lock. "You can just enjoy it. This is for you."

"Sure." She nods. "Great."

"You can change your mind at any time. And we'll always be friends, no matter what."

Reassured, she nods. I settle beside her on the bed, leaning against the headboard, and prop the phone up between us against a pillow.

"Ready?"

She nods, and I hit play.