20. Darcy

CHAPTER 20

DARCY

The next morning, I'm waiting in the kitchen among the eight bouquets of flowers, breathing in their floral scent and rehearsing what I'm going to say, when Hayden appears, bag strung over his shoulder and ready to leave for a seven-day away game stretch.

My gaze falls to his chest, and I automatically smile. "You're wearing the t-shirt."

He glances down at it, mouth tilting up. "Of course I am."

It doesn't seem weird between us after last night, so that's good.

In the mornings, Hayden's so handsome, blue eyes all sleepy, hair still damp from his shower, and dark-blond stubble coating his sharp jaw. My fingers itch to touch it, scrape through it with my nails.

No . After last night, no more touching. He had the right idea by cutting it short.

My face heats at the memory. God, I'm so embarrassed.

His eyes go to my wrist. "And you're wearing the bracelet."

I find the delicate chain and toy with it like I did all night when I couldn't sleep. It's hard sleeping in the bed alone; I've always slept better with someone beside me. On top of that, I was worrying all night about messing things up with Hayden.

"Of course I am." I give him a quick smile. "I'll drive you to the airport."

He blinks, lips parting, and his expression turns apologetic. "Volkov's picking me up."

"Oh." I was planning to use the time in the car to apologize for last night. "I didn't think of that."

"It's fine. You should be sleeping in, not chauffeuring me around." He drops his bag and heads to the front hall closet to grab his boots. "Go back to bed."

If we don't talk about last night, it'll be weird, and Hayden is pretty much all I have right now. I don't want him to think I'm getting the wrong idea about us.

I can't fuck things up with him. I just can't.

"You can't leave yet." I try not to sound frantic. "You're a zombie without your morning coffee."

I hit the button on the espresso maker and the machine whirs to life. A moment later, a stream of espresso drips into the tiny cup.

His eyes go from the espresso maker to me, a wary expression on his features. "I was going to get a coffee at the airport."

"Airport coffee sucks. Ours is much better."

His eyes warm at the word ours . "I guess I have a few minutes." He takes a seat at the kitchen bar and accepts the espresso I hand him. The cup looks comically tiny in his huge hands.

"So, um." I move so I can see him around the flowers and lean on the counter, concentrating on not wringing my hands or fidgeting. "Last night."

He stills, and our eyes meet.

"I'm really sorry." I look at him dead-on while my heart pounds. "We cuddled, and I got horny. "

Hayden coughs mid-sip, staring hard at a spot on the floor, and my face flames harder. Pressed against his body, my hormones took over and made me grind back against him.

He was hard. I swallow, remembering how his intimidating erection felt pushing against me.

Just like I suspected, he's proportional. I shiver at the memory.

I know what happened: he got turned on because he's a hot-blooded human in need of regular sex, which he hasn't been getting lately because he spends all his time with me. He's a good friend, so when I basically begged him to cuddle me, he said yes.

I need to show him I'm not reading into his body's response and that nothing has changed between us.

"It's not a big deal." Rule number one: Always be confident and chill. "It took me by surprise because I haven't felt that way in a long time." Uh, I'm losing the plot here. "You're—" I wave my hand at him, and he arches an eyebrow with amusement.

"I'm what?"

"Big. Tall. Broad. Muscles. Good smelling." With each word, his grin hitches higher. My skin is too warm. "Stop smiling."

"What's wrong with smiling?"

"You look smug."

"You just told me I make you horny."

" Made ," I stress. " Made me horny because I was pressed up against you—oh my god."

I didn't just press up against him. I ground my ass against him like a cat in heat. Hayden sputters with laughter into his tiny coffee cup.

"Stop it." I put on a stern voice, fighting a smile as relief loops through me. "I'm trying to be serious."

He frowns down at his cup in a thoughtful way. "If I smell good, does this mean we're probably not distantly related?"

I burst out laughing. "No, probably not. You smell amazing."

He smiles up at me, sitting back in his chair, and warmth tumbles through my stomach.

"My body reacted. It doesn't mean anything. Nothing has changed between us."

Rule number five, the most important of all: Never get attached.

"Yeah." His smile dims, and his chin dips in a tight nod. "I know."

"I took your offer of cuddling and made it inappropriate. You're helping me and that's it."

His mouth flattens. "Yep. That's it."

And then there was the shower after. Every time he touches me, he jumps in the shower after. I try not to think too hard about that. I know I'm not his type, but to need to shower after touching me?

Ouch.

"Great. So we both agree it wasn't a big deal."

Hayden's smile is tight. "Already forgotten."

I paste my own smile on. This is exactly what I want, so I don't know why hearing that is so disappointing.

His phone chirps, and he pulls it out of his pocket. "Volkov's downstairs." He stands and puts the cup in the dishwasher. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Of course." The words come out too high and too chipper. "Have a great trip. I'll be watching your games."

He winks. "Bye, Darce. Stay out of trouble."

It isn't until the door closes and I hear the ping of the elevator arrive that I realize I'm really going to miss him over the next week.