Chapter 66 Elin

66

Elin

Parque Nacional, Portugal, October 2021

‘Don't go any further forwards. You're right by the pit.'

Bridie's voice.

It takes a moment for Elin to process the words.

The pit. The wolf trap.

‘You need to move back. Two big steps, and you'll be clear.'

Elin holds her breath, Bridie's words almost eclipsed by the sound of the rushing blood in her ears.

A bead of sweat trickles past her eye, stirring her into motion.

Legs shaking, she takes one step, then another, before a hand roughly clasps her jacket, tugs her further up the hill.

Elin turns to see Bridie looking at her, her face pale. Hoisting a sleeping Etta higher up her back, she whistles through her teeth. ‘Caught a glimpse of you … looked like you were about to walk right over. There's a wall around the pit, but it's not high. Catch it at a bad angle …'

‘Took the wrong direction somewhere.' She can barely get out the words. ‘Couldn't see anything. Thought I was still in the woods. '

‘The fog can just roll in like that here. One minute fine, and then' – Bridie clicks her fingers – ‘the whole park, just gone. Sometimes it's like that for days. Always feel sorry for the tourists who come here this time of year for the views and get this.'

She gives a faint smile, but Elin struggles to return it. She's shaking, from cold or shock, she's not sure.

Bridie's brow furrows as she looks at her. ‘Let's get you sat down.' Looping her arm in Elin's, she leads them slowly up the hill.

It's a few minutes before they push through a line of trees onto a rough dirt track. ‘Here,' Bridie gestures to a granite slab a few feet away. ‘Not the comfiest of seats, but it'll do.' Untying her fleece from around her waist, she passes it to her. ‘Probably best, you know,' she says lightly. ‘To take a pack with you when you go for a hike. Get lost out here without any layers or supplies …'

Elin sits down, tugs the fleece over her head. ‘Yeah, stupid move. Left the van pretty quickly.'

A beat passes.

‘Something happen?' Bridie says softly, brushing her fringe away from her eyes.

Elin nods. ‘Found out that someone wasn't who I thought they were. Caught me by surprise.' The words escape before she can haul them back in. It's not something she usually does – confide in someone who is essentially a stranger – but she doesn't feel any sense of crossing a line, just relief that the words are out. No longer trapped inside her head.

‘I know what that feels like.' Bridie inclines her head a little, checking on Etta. ‘Rough, isn't it?'

‘Yeah.'

Bridie doesn't probe any further, and they sit for a while, looking out. Below them, the fog is breaking up a little, fragmented glimpses of the valley appearing before quickly becoming smothered again. Pulling a bag of jelly beans from her waist belt, Bridie passes her a handful. ‘Anyone asks, these are Etta's.'

‘I won't say a word.' Smiling, Elin slips a few into her mouth .

‘Not a great few days for you guys,' Bridie says after a beat. ‘Probably not the break you were imagining.' She pauses. ‘You were up at the falls, weren't you? With Ned and Leah? Must have been a shock.' Though she doesn't say any more, something in her face tells Elin that her and Isaac's presence there had been discussed.

Slowly chewing, Elin mulls over how best to respond, what the motive is, if any, behind her question. ‘Yeah, it was. Leah … She looked in a bad way.'

Bridie's quiet for a moment. ‘You know, with Leah, it's always been complicated.'

‘Personal stuff?'

She hesitates for a moment, then nods. ‘Leah's had issues over the years, and recently she's started fixating on her ex. She had it in her head, you know, that he was the one who blew up the van , was stressing about it, but we never thought she was in a place where she'd—' Bridie shakes her head. ‘Maggie was keeping an eye on her, but she can't be with her all the time.'

‘That's a lot of responsibility.'

‘It is, but Leah's like a daughter to her.' A look flits across her face that Elin can't get a read on. ‘All of us are. Takes it personally—' Bridie stops, the words drying up in her mouth.

A few beats pass. ‘So you really think Leah was planning to …?'

‘Hard to say if she'd have gone that far, but Ned said it looked that way.' Her voice catches. ‘Thank god he noticed she was gone. If we'd left it any longer …'

There's no doubt in her mind , Elin thinks, watching her. She believes Leah went up there of her own volition. That Ned talked her down.

Bridie bites down on her lip. ‘Something like that happens, makes you realise how much you come to rely on someone.'

‘I can imagine. Must be tight, especially in a community like yours.'

‘Yeah, we're like family. Leah, especially. She's the one who really understands, gets what it was like to—' Breaking off, she fiddles with the bag of sweets on her lap .

Elin doesn't fill in the silence. She's learnt that sometimes it's best to let the other person's thoughts have a chance to breathe.

Bridie starts again. ‘Leah helped me out a lot when Etta was little. Still does.'

Noticing the little line of dribble forming at the corner of Etta's mouth, Elin smiles. ‘Guess you guys have a lot in common. A similar age.'

‘Yeah, same interests too. We both like the arts, the same books, theatre.'

‘So Leah's creative, then?' Elin thinks about Kier, her work, wondering if perhaps that's where a connection might have formed.

‘She is, but with that comes a fragility. Leah sees the world in a kind of …' – she pauses – ‘ heightened way, that's probably how best to describe it. A layer deeper than anyone else. Makes me frightened for her, how much she absorbs as her own, but I thought she was getting there. Yesterday, up at the clearing, it seemed like she'd turned a page—' Abruptly, she stops, as if she's said something she shouldn't. A flush creeps up her cheeks before she changes the subject.

‘So you don't know what triggered Leah going up to the falls?'

‘No, but I suppose you never know what's going on in someone else's head, do you? No matter how close you think you are.'

No , she says to herself, thinking about Steed. You don't. You can spend almost every day with someone, and they still have the ability to pull the wool over your eyes.

‘It's just—' Elin hesitates, trying to work out how to best say it. ‘Isaac and I, we saw Leah in the woods the other day, by the remains of this wooden' – she gropes for the right word – ‘structure that she called a pira. We got the feeling it meant something to her.'

Bridie doesn't let her finish her question. All at once, she stands up, face tightening, looking down towards the valley. ‘Looks like the fog's clearing.'

Elin nods, stung by the sudden dismissal. Two steps forwards and two steps back, she thinks. What momentary opening there had been was now firmly closed, but her reaction has revealed something: the piras, whatever they are, mean something to the group. To Bridie as well as Leah.

‘Give it a few more minutes and I reckon we can head off.' Bridie turns back.

She's right, Elin thinks, taking in the scene around her. The swathe of grey that looked fairly set in a few moments before seemed lighter at the edges, whole pockets of land now revealed.

Tipping her head towards a still-sleeping Etta, Bridie looks at her watch. ‘It's nearly six. This one's going to need something to eat pretty soon, but I can walk you back if you like?'

‘It's fine. Once the fog's gone, I know my way back from here. I don't want you to have to walk back to camp in the dark.'

Reluctantly, Bridie nods. ‘Better swap numbers, just in case.'

‘I don't have my phone on me.' Elin flushes, acutely aware of how unprepared she really was. ‘Left it in the Airstream.'

‘In that case, I'm definitely walking you back. At least to camp.' Bridie bends down, fiddling with her laces, making a joke about waking Etta, who has tipped forwards in the carrier, her nose now nestled in Bridie's hair. She starts to say something else about Etta, but her words don't even register.

Elin's eyes are locked on Bridie's hiking boots.

The soles are dirty, as expected – dust, little bits of soil – but the fabric itself, the creases around the laces, hold something unexpected.

Ash.

Something slowly turns over in her head.

Still looking at it, she thinks about the clearing painted on Kier's map, the heat that had flooded Bridie's cheeks just a few moments ago.