Chapter 33

Ulfarr's not safe. He's a monster.

Louisa'sheart skipped a beat, and she suddenly felt curiously frozen in place, as a distant buzzing swarmed in her ears. Not safe. A monster.

Amonster.

Butwait, no, Killik. Killik was here, Killik knew that couldn't be possible… right? ButLouisa's desperate darting glance toward him found his face rigid, immobile, his eyes slowly sliding shut. As if he was… resigned. Defeated.

Asif it was… true.

He has faced and fostered deep darkness. Shall you stand tall with the shamed Wolf of the Skai…

Louisa'sbreaths were coming rapid and shallow, and she forced her gaze back to Maria's pained, regretful face. "Would you be willing," she began, "to tell me why?"

Andeven as she said it, there was a strange jolting hopefulness, because — because it didn't make sense, did it? No, no, it didn't, and perhaps it was all some kind of awful misunderstanding, something that could easily be corrected…

ButMaria's expression didn't change, and she drew in a deep, shaky breath. "Ulfarr — wanted me, when I first came here to the mountain," she said. "So he — trapped me. He threatened me. He tried to seduce me. He tried to force Simon to — share me. He tried to killSimon so he could steal me, and our son. And when none of that worked, he — he finally kidnapped me. He dragged me away, deep underground, alone. And if Simon hadn't found us, Ulfarr would have — he would have —"

Hervoice broke, her head shaking, and Louisa couldn't look away, couldn't think through the wild wailing of her heartbeat. Ulfarr had — done that? Ulfarr? Kind, sweet, considerate Ulfarr? Trapping? Seducing? Kidnapping?

Somethingwas jamming in Louisa's brain, crumpling in on itself, and she shot another helpless, pleading glance at Killik. Killik, who still had his eyes closed, the blood still steadily dripping from his fingers on the dagger.

Andcurse Killik, curse him to hell and back, because… because maybe this was why he'd been so furious with Louisa for coming here. Because once again, he hadn't wanted her to know. He hadn't wanted her to hear…

"And," Maria's choked voice continued, was there more, there was more, "throughout all that, Ulfarr did everything he could to undermine Simon, and his judgement as the clan's Enforcer. Even when that judgement was desperately needed. Even when" — she took another shaky breath — "the orcs in question had been involved in horrible things. Against other orcs, and women, and children."

Oh. Oh, gods. And that couldn't be true, it couldn't, it was impossible, Ulfarr adored children, Ulfarr had built and tended that pack of his, he would do anything to protect them… right? ButLouisa's frantic glance at Killik found only more blankness, more resignation, more grief. As if… as if Ulfarr truly had done that.

Asif Ulfarr was truly… a monster.

Bilesurged in Louisa's throat, sharp and bitter, and she fought to drag down air, to grasp at her churning, shouting thoughts. But there was nothing, nothing, only shock and darkness and grief. Ulfarr was a monster. Killik had lied to her. Killik had manipulated her into bed with Ulfarr, he'd fought to keep her away from here, to prevent her from learning the truth. And then he'd raged at her, again and again, when he'd been the one hiding all this? Orchestrating this?

Andcurse Killik, he still hadn't even looked at her. He just kept standing there with his eyes closed, with such empty grief on his face. And as Louisa stared at him, waiting, needing him to look at her, to explain himself — he slowly opened his eyes again. But they were empty too, cold black hollows in his stark shadowed face, and it looked so wrong, it felt so wrong, this was all so wrong and they were all looking at her and what the hell was she supposed to say —

"I'm sorry for putting this onto you so suddenly," cut in a low voice, Maria's voice, and when Louisa blinked back toward her, her face was still troubled, even sad. "You're still welcome to stay the night, of course. And if you have any questions…"

Hervoice trailed off, her mouth twisting, and gods, Louisa suddenly couldn't bear the thought of asking this poor woman to relive even more of what had clearly been a deeply traumatizing experience. And too late, she shook her head, twitched a shaky wave of her tingling hand.

"No, and I —" she began, and then shook her head again. "I — thank you. I'm — so sorry you had to bear all that. And so sorry you were obliged to revisit it by — by telling me, like this."

Shecouldn't help another narrow, searching glance toward Killik, but he still wasn't moving, wasn't showing any signs of having heard this — not even when both Maria and Simon looked at him, too. And for the first time, it occurred to Louisa that they would have also expected Killik to tell her all this, and Killik had — he had wanted to hide Louisa from them, too. He hadn't wanted them to know about her.

Becausemaybe — maybe a monster wasn't supposed to have pleasure. He wasn't supposed to have a woman in his bed, let alone a mate…

Killikstill wasn't looking at her, or looking at them, but his shoulders were rising and falling now, his chin tilting toward Simon. "ButI ken you ought to know, brother," he finally said, "I was the one who brought this woman to Ulfarr's bed. I was the one who gained both their silence upon this. I swore to UlfarrI had told her all she needed to know. And" — his mouth pulled into a shape much like a smile — "I led you all to believe I meant her for me, rather than him."

Simon'sheavy brow furrowed as he stared at Killik, his mouth hard and grim. "Why, brother," he said. "Why would you do this, and speak false to us?"

Killik'snot-smile slightly faltered, and he jerked a short shrug. "I care for Ulfarr," he said, without inflection. "I wished to grant him this."

Hisvoice seemed to hang there, dangling empty and unfinished between them. AndSimon's brow furrowed even deeper, his jaw flexing in his cheek — but before he could speak again, Killik squared his shoulders, and fully turned toward him, his eyes holding blank and unseeing on Simon's face.

"I shall not refute your judgement upon this, brother," Killik said, his voice just as blank as his eyes. "ButI should be grateful if you could grant me the night to settle some matters first."

Therewas an instant's horrible silence, and Louisa's heart skipped a beat, her eyes frozen on Killik's empty face. What did he mean about Simon'sjudgement? And about asking for a night to settle matters, as if… as if…

ButSimon twitched a curt nod, his mouth gone even grimmer, his big hand curling into a fist at his side. AndKillik nodded back, and then turned his empty eyes toward Louisa, and held out his hand. Not the bloody one — which was still gripping his dagger — but even so, this one was still slightly shaking, his claws extended sharp from his fingertips.

"Come, then, woman," he said, a hollow hoarse rasp. "I shall take you home."