Chapter 18

Huntingwith Killik was… delightful.

Itmade no sense, because he still wasn't kind or considerate, not in the slightest. He had no qualms with hissing orders at Louisa, curtly waving her this way or that, or glowering at her whenever she stepped on an errant cracking twig.

Butdamn it, he knew so much. He saw so much. He pointed out prints and burrows, he followed paths she'd never before noticed, and he could track scents with astonishing ease. And before they'd even walked half a furlong, he dodged sideways, into a small thicket, and came back bearing a dead rabbit in his bloody clawed fingers.

"Breakfast," he said, with satisfaction. "You ken how to make a fire, woman?"

Louisadid, and soon she had a small blaze crackling between them, while Killik skinned the rabbit with rapid, astonishing efficiency. His dagger flashing swift and silver, his clawed fingers tossing multiple bloody bits into his mouth as he went. A sight that should have set Louisa's stomach churning, but instead her mouth felt dry, her eyes oddly caught on his deft hands, his sweaty bare chest, the blood trickling down his chin.

"This is a good one," he said, with satisfaction, as he put the meat onto a makeshift spit, and set it up over the fire. "I ken I ought to gain you herbs or mushrooms, or some such, but I am not much for fancy cooking, ach?"

Louisawaved it away, and shot him a wry, grateful smile. "Me, neither," she replied. "This is perfect. Thank you."

Killikshrugged, and turned his focus to cleaning and sharpening his daggers, pausing only to occasionally sniff at the air around them. But it felt almost… companionable, somehow, sitting here across from him over the crackling fire, as the late morning sun streamed through the trees around them.

Themeat indeed proved to be delicious, too, and once Louisa had eaten her fill, Killik polished off the rest, and stomped out the fire. And then he stretched, straightening his long arms over his head, as he turned to the south, and drew in a slow, deep inhale.

"Next, your supper," he said firmly. "I scent a buck to the south, just beyond that bog."

Foran instant, Louisa stared at him — he wasn't really going to hunt her supper, too? — but then she made a face, and shook her head. "You can't get through that bog. You'll have to go around, and by then the buck will be long gone."

ButKillik's brows only snapped up, his mouth curving into a smug smile. "Try me, woman," he said. "Now come."

Itseemed impossible to resist the draw of his wicked eyes, his quirking, satisfied smile. And soon Louisa was indeed following him on a narrow, convoluted, often muddy, but perfectly viable path through the bog — a path Killik had again apparently determined by scent alone.

"There is naught to it, for most orcs," he said over his shoulder, in answer to Louisa's question. "Even if I could not scent the earth, I could yet scent which way the buck went, before us."

Louisa'ssmile toward him was awestruck, maybe even envious. "That's incredible," she said, her voice thick. "You're so lucky to be an orc, and have skills like this."

ButKillik's laugh was low and hard, his head twitching back and forth. "I would not call being an orc luck, woman," he replied, clipped. "In truth, I ken it is more of a curse. A plague of blood and darkness and death. Most of all for the Skai."

Louisablinked toward him, and suddenly her thoughts swarmed with visions of the night before, of all those vicious scars, marked all over Ulfarr's huge, powerful body, cut straight across his most vulnerable place. And how he'd looked at her, how panicked his eyes had been, as he'd said, I had no intent, cannot bear to bring more shame, more harm, more blood and wrath and death…

Ithad all spoken so strongly of… hurt. Of suffering and pain. And why hadn't Louisa been more focused on that, rather than her own mess? How much darkness had Ulfarr — and Killik — faced, in that endless war between orcs and humans? How much death and agony had they borne, at the hands of men like LordScall?

"I'm so sorry to hear it," she said, quiet, toward Killik's stiff back before her. "Is it… getting better for you, at least? Now that the war is over?"

Killikkept walking in silence for a few breaths, his shoulder shrugging. "It is… better, I ken," he said finally. "But the war yet left many wounds, both from within and without. And many of these have not yet healed, ach? And mayhap" — he sighed — "mayhap they never shall."

Astab of sympathy shot through Louisa's chest, while those visions of Ulfarr's scars, Ulfarr's sadness, again swarmed behind her eyes. And though she couldn't relate to wounds from a battlefield, she still knew too much of hidden darkness, of scars. Gods, even these past few days had shown how deep her own scars went, how those griefs and fears still whispered, long after their source was gone. LordScall was dead, dead…

"I'm so sorry, Killik," she said again, and gods, it sounded so paltry, punctuated with a sucking splooch as her boot slipped into a puddle. "Has the camp… helped, at all? You said" — she cast her thoughts backwards — "it's given safety to your clan's families. And a home they didn't… fear."

Andperhaps she was pushing too much, now, but the camp was still on her land, she had a right to know, didn't she? And though Killik's glance back was narrower this time, he sighed, and nodded. "Ach, it has," he replied. "After all these wounds, many Skai do not yet wish to return to our mountain — but they yet long for a safe place nearby for their mates and sons. So with this camp, we can offer them help, and a quiet place to rest. Mayhap even room for this… healing. This peace."

Healing. Peace. It clutched deep in Louisa's belly, and she nodded, let out a slow breath. "I'm glad, Killik," she said. "I really hope it helps."

Shemeant it, her voice low and earnest, her eyes sober on where he was glancing over his shoulder toward her, and twitching another nod. And for a breath, Louisa was caught on the sight of him, on the truth of him telling her all this, trusting her with this, even taking her hunting like this, it was…

"Ack!" she yelped, as her too-big boot slipped on a rock beneath her, nearly hurling her sideways into the surrounding bog — but Killik had already whirled around, and lunged back toward her. His strong hands gripping her shoulders, hauling her upright again. Holding her still, solid, safe.

Louisagulped for air, fought to calm her racing heartbeat, to attempt an apologetic smile toward him — but to her vague surprise, Killik didn't release her, or step back. Instead, he just kept standing here, holding her in place on the uneven rock, which was still doing its damnedest to tip her into the marshy muck all around them.

"Breathe, woman," Killik told her, steady and firm. "Breathe into your foot, and the rock. Draw deep into the earth, feel it draw up into you."

Andsomehow, Louisa obeyed. Hauling in more deep, dragging breaths, drawing them up from the earth, through the sharpness of the rock beneath her. And it did feel steadier, easier, her weight sinking onto the rock, finding the strength of it, the solid ground beneath.

"Thank you," she said, with another grateful smile at Killik's unreadable face. At where he was still standing here holding her, his hands gripping tightly onto her arms. The touch not calling up even a twinge of that familiar old alarm — and he'd never touched her at length like this before, had he? Beyond those brief pats to her cheek?

Andperhaps Killik had realized that too, his gaze darting down toward his hands — but he still didn't release her. Just took a slow step backwards, without even looking, and thereby revealing another pointy, slippery rock between them.

"Now again," he ordered. "With the earth."

Louisanodded, a foolish action that almost staggered her sideways — but Killik still held her steady, safe. So she drew in a long, fortifying breath, envisioned the earth drawing her down, as she drew it up into her foot. And though her step forward was slow, shaky, she didn't slip on the stone, or the next. AndKillik kept guiding her backwards, step by careful step, until he drew her to solid earth again, on the opposite side of the bog.

"Oh, thank the gods," Louisa said, with genuine relief. "And thank you. Again."

Killik'seyes shifted, flickered on hers — but then he shrugged and glanced away, angling his head toward the south. "Ought to keep going," he said curtly. "The buck is yet there, but mayhap not for long."

Right. Hunting. The thought flipped in Louisa's belly, twisting her mouth, because of course this wasn't — anything. This wasn't Killik taking her into his confidence, or wanting to spend time with her. This was all just some bizarre manifestation of his guilt from the night before, or maybe even his well-placed fear that she would decide this wasn't worth it, and abandon him — and his camp — for good.

Shefought to keep repeating that truth as they quietly tracked the buck through the forest, heading steadily southwest. UntilKillik signed for her to be still, and Louisa could just catch a glimpse of antlers, jutting up from the brush ahead…

Andthen Killik kicked off, and ran. Sprinting with sudden, shocking speed across the clearing, his body a graceful grey blur of movement. His hand drawing back, a flash of silvery steel flying through the air —

Killikwhooped even before the buck fell, his laugh joyous and bright. And then he launched into one last flying leap, another blade flashing in his hand — and it was over in an instant, the buck's body twitching to stillness beneath him, the scent of fresh blood flaring through the air.

"That was — a very impressive kill," Louisa managed, once she'd caught up to where Killik was already cleaning his daggers beside the fallen buck. "Congratulations."

Killikshrugged, but then he waved her forward, and — to her surprise — launched into another lesson. This one about how to tie and hang the buck, and then carry it safely back toward her house. And then, once they'd reached the yard, he even showed her how to dress the buck, and ready its pelt for drying.

Itwas all new to Louisa — deer-hunting was well beyond what she could manage alone — and while it was a grisly, messy business, Killik worked quickly and cleanly, offering clear explanations as he went, and answering Louisa's questions without complaint. It also turned out that her knife had been noticeably improved by his alterations, making the work far easier than it surely would have been otherwise.

"Good," he finally said, with satisfaction, as he helped her heap fresh venison onto a large pallet she'd fetched. "Now help me carry this to your house."

Louisagratefully nodded, mopping the sweat off her brow with her sticky, bloody sleeve before helping Killik lift the heavy pallet between them. And it was only then that she caught sight of Joan, standing stock-still beside the stable, and gaping at Louisa and Killik with abject disbelief in her eyes.

Damnit. Louisa still hadn't talked to Joan since the incident with Ulfarr leaving that morning, and she shot her an apologetic half-smile. "Afternoon, Joan," she called out, as steadily as she could. "Killik's hunted us a deer. Could you go collect Elise and Gladys, and start the fire, and ready the kitchen? We'll need to cook some of the venison, and then salt the rest."

Thankfully, Joan didn't argue, and she curtly nodded before dashing off ahead toward the house. And when Louisa and Killik reached the side door, the kitchen was already bustling with activity — Elise clearing the counter, Gladys stoking the fire, and Joan hauling up a heavy bag of salt from the cellar. And wait, the children were here, too, both of them casting shocked, wide-eyed glances toward Killik, and then rushing toward Elise.

"Orc here!" Stefan yelped, clinging to Elise's skirts, while Elise staggered backwards, her face ashen. And curse it, Louisa didn't need another dramatic scene right now, and suddenly she couldn't bear the thought of it, not after today. Not after all Killik had done.

"Yes, this is an orc," Louisa said to Stefan, as she and Killik settled the heavy pallet onto the counter. "His name is Killik of ClanSkai, and he hunted us this entire buck today, all by himself! You want to know how he killed it?"

Elisecringed, shaking her head and drawing the children closer, but Stefan's eyes were bright with eagerness, and Ame looked cautiously curious, too. "How?" she asked, her small voice carrying through the room. "He scare it to death?"

Louisawinced, and shot a rueful glance toward Killik beside her. "No, even he couldn't do that," she replied, fighting to keep her voice light. "But instead, he pulled out his hairpin, and threw it! Killed the buck with a single hit to its head!"

BothStefan and Ame gasped, and between them, Elise looked truly horrified — but when Louisa darted another glance at Killik, he was… nodding. Nodding, his expression almost tolerant, as he reached up, and plucked one of the daggers out of his hair.

"This one," he said, holding it out so the children could see it. "It is good for throwing, ach? The end is sharp, and the blade thin, so it flies fast and true. Like a deadly little bird."

Heaccompanied this with a light, bobbing sweep of his hand, indeed making the dagger look remarkably like a bird, and now it was Louisa's mouth falling open, while both children watched with delighted awe in their eyes. "You keep it in your hair?" Stefan squeaked. "Does it hurt?"

"Or cut your hair?" Ame interjected, frowning up at where Killik's topknot had begun falling around his pointed ears. "How's it still so long?"

Louisa'sbreath had strangely caught, her eyes fixed on Killik's face, on that tumble of shiny black hair now slipping to his shoulders. On where he still didn't look annoyed, or contemptuous, and instead was again holding out the dagger, and making a show of dragging his finger — with its black claw drawn fully in — down the blade's gleaming edge.

"Not sharp here, ach?" he said. "Only at the end. This way it does not shear off my hair, so I can always keep it close, and throw it whenever I need."

Moreawe flashed across both children's faces, and beside Elise, even Joan was looking reluctantly impressed. WhileElise still looked shaky and pale, and Gladys was frowning suspiciously toward Killik, and giving Elise a reassuring pat to her shoulder.

"That's very useful, I'm sure," Gladys said to Killik, her voice frosty. "Now, missus, where do you want us to start with this?"

Right. Louisa took a deep breath, forced her attention back to the venison. And though she managed some basic instructions, she still couldn't shake the awareness of Killik still here, still standing in her kitchen. Not moving, not leaving, until she finally mumbled an excuse, and ducked for the door. And yes, yes, Killik was here, following her back out into the cool air, into the fading light of the setting sun.

Andwait, it meant they'd somehow spent an entire day together, and as Louisa turned and blinked up at his face, again framed by that fall of shining black hair, it occurred to her that it had quite possibly been the best day of her entire adult life. A day she would never, ever forget, and it felt hard to breathe, suddenly, the swallow thick in her throat.

"Thank you," she said, her voice hitching. "That was — lovely. All of it."

Herhand flapped around on its own, flailing at the woods, the house, the dagger still in his hand. AndKillik twitched a faint smile as he shook his head, and absently began winding his hair around the dagger again. "Ach, it was naught," he said. "Part of our vow. Wish you to eat."

Louisaexhaled and nodded, even as her eyes held to his face, his deft hands binding up his hair. "Well — it was still well beyond what you needed to do," she replied. "Especially with all the lessons, and setting the children at ease just now, like you did. You're — a good teacher."

Killikshrugged, though his gaze had flicked beyond her, toward the distant sight of his mountain to the south. "Ach, I have practice," he said dismissively. "Oft teach orclings Skai ways, at the mountain."

Wait. Really? Killik was a teacher? Oforclings… of orc children?

Butyes, yes, his eyes were flinty, now, and he jerked a curt nod. "Wolf does this, also," he added, clipped. "It is also part of why we seek to help this camp, for we have seen many Skai orclings who do not have this schooling or safety."

Louisa'sstomach flipped, her breath juddering in her chest, because Ulfarr taught children too? But of course he did, he'd even mentioned teaching, hadn't he? And of course he'd be wonderful at it, too, and how was Louisa ever supposed to forget this, only eight nights —

"Well, you should — take the rest of the venison, and the pelt," she croaked, waving a shaky hand across the yard toward the rest of the meat. "For them. At your camp."

Therewas an instant's silence, in which Killik blinked at her, and then back at the meat. "I hunted this for you," he said. "And you… helped. More than I… would have thought."

Itcertainly wasn't high praise, but it still caught in Louisa's chest, shimmering sharp and strange. "You did most of it," she replied. "And you gave us so much. Of course we'd be happy to share."

Shemeant it, meant it so much it hurt. And finally Killik sighed, nodding, shifting on his feet. "Ach, then. They shall be glad of this, I ken."

Louisa'sgrin was swift and grateful, her shoulders sagging with her exhale. "I'm glad too," she said. "Thank you, Killik. Again. I really… enjoyed this, today."

Hervoice came out sounding fervent, strained, quivering into the silence. Into where Killik was just staring at her again, and she winced, looked away, bracing for his mockery, his contempt. This was still only a deal, only eight nights, he'd just told her last night he never wanted to see her again after it was done, and…

"Ach, well," Killik finally said. "I ken you shall enjoy tonight even more, woman."

Wait. Wait, what did he mean? And when Louisa darted a glance back toward him, his eyes were glinting on hers, his mouth quirking — and then his clawed hand rose up between them, and gave a brief pat to her cheek.

"For tonight, you shall again meet my wolf," he said coolly. "And for your next lesson, he shall learn to please you."