Chapter 14

Bythe time Louisa climbed the stairs to her bedroom, she was trembling with nervousness, her hands tingly and clammy, her thoughts screaming unhelpfully through her pounding skull.

Whatif she messed this up again? What if it was even more of a disaster than last time? Or what if Ulfarr had already changed his mind, and left?

Butno, no, Killik had gone on ahead to Louisa's bedroom, while she'd washed up and eaten a quick supper. And if something had changed, surely he would have let her know. Right?

SoLouisa squared her shoulders as she clutched for her door, and shoved it open. Revealing her familiar room, lit by her familiar flickering lamp, and…

Theorcs. Two orcs. Killik, sprawled in his usual chair by the desk, and… Ulfarr. Once again seated in that same place on the bed, fully dressed, his hands tightly folded in his lap.

Ulfarr'seyes instantly darted up toward Louisa, his big body stiffening — and then he lurched to his feet, and lumbered over toward her. His steps heavy and unsteady, his gaze uneasy on her face.

"Ach, Louisa," he said thickly, and his hand twitched forward, almost as if to grasp hers — but then it dropped just as quickly, snapping to a fist at his side. "I hope you do not mind — ach. Killik said — your letter —"

Hisface was flushed, the sweat beading on his brow, and Louisa took an instinctive step toward him, before jerking belatedly to a halt. "No, I'm — so glad you came back," she said, in a rush. "You — got the letter, then?"

Evenas she said it, she shot a chagrined grimace toward Killik, who predictably scoffed, and rolled his eyes. ButUlfarr's eyes stayed solemn and intent on hers, his head giving a curt nod.

"Ach," he said. "This letter was… very kind. Most of all after I… left you, last eve, as I did."

Hisvoice and eyes dropped, his mouth bitterly twisting, and Louisa shook her head, flapped her hand between them. "It's fine," she replied, too quickly. "Completely fine! I absolutely understood, of course."

ButUlfarr's eyes darkened, gone even more morose than before. The sight of it clutching miserably in Louisa's gut, strong enough that she jolted toward him, almost as if to touch him —

Butthen, Ulfarr — flinched. Flinched, as if he couldn't bear her touch — or perhaps couldn't bear to be here at all. AndLouisa froze in place just in time, as ice cracked up her spine, and heat burned behind her eyes. Gods, he still didn't want it, there was no way this was ever going to —

"Ach, enough," cut in Killik's flat, impatient voice. "Enough, both of you!"

Louisastartled, and Ulfarr did too, both their heads snapping sideways. Toward where Killik had leapt out of his chair, and was now stalking irritably toward them, and jabbing his dagger at the bed.

"Sit," he snapped. "Both of you. Now. And we shall have a lesson, ach?"

Therewasn't even a thought of disobeying, amidst the frantic mess swarming Louisa's thoughts, and she twitched a nod, stumbling toward the bed. AndUlfarr obeyed too, his big body sagging heavily down beside her, while Killik began pacing back and forth before them, his dagger now aiming erratically between their faces.

"First, woman," he said, with a frown toward Louisa, "if you wish to gain an orc's trust, you cannot speak false to him upon your fear, or your grief, or your shame. He shall never welcome this, or believe this as truth. For he can scent the truth of these feelings upon you!"

What? Louisa blinked blankly up at Killik, who was looking alarmingly sincere, and jabbing his dagger toward her. "Almost all orcs can scent these," he continued flatly. "Even an orc with such weakened scenting as Wolf's. And this is even worse when the speaker's scent shouts their truth as loud and clear as yours! You were not glad when Wolf left you last eve, this was not fine, and you yet reek of grief and shame upon this!"

Oh. Oh, no, Ulfarr couldn't possibly have smelled all that — but beside Louisa, he was rubbing at his nose, and not meeting her eyes. WhileKillik whirled back toward Ulfarr, and poked his dagger into his chest, hard enough that the tip pricked through the neatly tied laces of his tunic.

"And you, Wolf," he snapped. "You left this woman alone in her bed last eve, without a word of kindness or farewell. And after this, she yet wrote you this pretty letter, and told you her truth, and welcomed you back here again! Why do you not thank her, and seek to speak pretty words in return? Or if not this, at least offer her your own truth, before she decides you are not worth her time or forgiveness?!"

Hesounded genuinely irate, his eyes flashing on Ulfarr's drawn face, and something swooped in Louisa's chest, catching in her throat. Killik was — defending her? Supporting her? Taking her side?

Butyes, yes, he wasn't backing down, his glinting eyes fixed to Ulfarr. And to Louisa's ongoing astonishment, Ulfarr — nodded. Nodded, even as his mouth contorted, his breaths heaving, his eyes angling dark and miserable toward Louisa's face.

"I — thank you, for welcoming me here again, Louisa," he said, with a quiet, stilted formality. "And for writing me this kind letter, also. I deeply regret how I left you, this past eve, and I shall seek to — make amends to you, upon this."

Butgods, his voice, his eyes, the misery and the resignation coiling in Louisa's gut, and she was already shaking her head, waving it away — when Killik's dagger swivelled back toward her, dangerously close to her throat. "Truth, woman," he hissed. "Not the pretty words you ken he wishes to hear. He should far rather hear you, ach?"

You. Truth. Louisa winced, searched Ulfarr's wan face — but yes, yes, he was nodding again. He wanted to hear… her. Her truth.

Louisa'sheart pattered faster, her hands gripping clammy to her knees, but she drew in a shaky breath, let it out. "W-well," she finally managed, into the choking silence. "I… I suppose Iwas quite upset when you left last night. It brought to mind a lot of things I thought — I hoped — I'd forgotten. ThingsI thought I should be — over, by now."

Shecringed as she said it, her eyes fearful on Ulfarr's face, but he only nodded again, his swallow convulsing in his throat. "Ach, Louisa," he said, hoarse. "Me — also, I ken."

Itsettled something in Louisa's chest, because yes, yes, Ulfarr had his own dark past, too. And did his have to do with… women? With… this?

ButLouisa shoved that question aside, and hauled in another shaky breath. Searched for her own words, her own truth. "ButI still — wanted you, Ulfarr," she whispered. "I still — do. I just — I just like you very much, and find you very attractive, and" — she dragged in more air, forced out the words — "I really still want to try to make this work, for the rest of our ten nights. If you still do. And not just because of Killik helping me, but also because of — you."

Hervoice sounded rushed, pleading, her eyes still frozen on Ulfarr's face. Because what if he still balked at the ten nights? At the still-lingering truth that this was just a deal Killik had made? With a time limit, and a very significant payment at the end?

Andyes, Ulfarr's eyes briefly flicked to Killik, too — but then he exhaled, and met her eyes. "Ach, Louisa," he said, softer than before. "I yet long for you, also. You are so lovely, and you have shown me such kindness, and your hunger scented so… so sweet. It should grant me deep joy, to yet spend the rest of these ten nights with you."

Well. Louisa couldn't stop her sudden, weepy smile toward him, and oh, he was smiling back, too. Slow, shy, tentative, but gods, it looked good on him, warming his rugged face, flickering like that in his eyes. And when he glanced downwards, and carefully moved his hand toward hers, she willingly met it, clasping her clammy palm against his warm skin, squeezing tight.

Hishand squeezed back, his shoulders sagging even lower. AndLouisa couldn't seem to speak, or look away, and she was distantly grateful when Killik huffed a satisfied grunt from where he was still standing before them. And when she glanced up, he twitched an approving nod toward her — and then brought up his hand, and gave a brief, approving pat to her cheek.

Andwait, his other hand was patting Ulfarr's cheek, too, his still-clutched dagger-blade swaying dangerously close to Ulfarr's eyes — but if Ulfarr noticed, he didn't seem at all concerned. If anything, he'd even tilted his head a little into Killik's touch, his eyes fluttering, his breath exhaling harsh.

"Good, both of you," Killik said firmly. "Now, how did you begin this, last eve? What eased you into this, to start?"

Louisafought to consider that, casting her thoughts backwards, to when it had felt most… easy, the night before. Before the awkwardness, and the embarrassment, and the mess.

"Well, we… talked," she said, with a sidelong glance toward Ulfarr. "About… other things."

Shedidn't miss the shift of gratefulness in Ulfarr's eyes on hers, the heavy exhale as he twitched a nod. While before them, Killik gave an exasperated sigh, and again waved his dagger back and forth between them. "Then speak," he snapped. "Of more… other things. For the love of Skai-kesh."

Right. Louisa drew down another breath, let it out shaky and slow. "Well," she said, too quickly. "Um. What… what kinds of things do you enjoy, Ulfarr? How do you like to spend your spare time?"

Itcame out sounding high-pitched, wholly artificial, and she belatedly winced up toward Killik, who might not approve of her asking such personal questions, especially if they might risk touching upon the forbidden topic of Ulfarr's past. But thankfully, Killik didn't seem disconcerted, and he'd swung his imperious dagger back toward Ulfarr, waiting for his answer.

Butfor an instant, Ulfarr looked — blank. Confused. As if the concept of enjoying something, liking something, was almost too foreign to grasp. ButLouisa could see him dragging in breath too, filling his huge chest, as he rubbed his free hand at his sweaty forehead.

"Ach, I — I ken I work to serve and help my kin, and my — my son," he replied, his voice stilted. "With much — sparring. Scouting. Teaching. Hunting. Fighting."

Itall sounded heavy in his voice, weighing down his big shoulders, and Louisa sought her way through it, fought to find some kind of answer. "Um, well, I've been learning to hunt lately, too," she said, as steadily as she could. "But it certainly isn't easy, even with small game. Just this afternoon, I almost managed to get sprayed by a skunk! I bet you really would have enjoyed coming back here again, after that."

Sheattempted a rueful smile at Ulfarr's face, and was rewarded by a twitch of amusement — or maybe even interest — in his dark eyes. "What do you hunt with?" he asked, and that might have been genuine interest in his voice, too. "A bow? Or blades?"

Louisalet out another breath, her smile coming easier this time. "I make attempts with both," she replied, "but I'm sure they're probably quite ramshackle, compared to what you likely use."

Sheaimed a wry glance toward Killik's bright, gleaming dagger, which was now pointed toward her face — but wait, Killik himself had leaned down over her, and plucked something off her belt. Something — oh. Her knife, which she'd entirely forgotten she was still wearing, until this moment.

"This is not bad, woman," Killik said, assessing the knife with a critical eye, before silently holding it out toward Ulfarr. Who carefully released Louisa's hand, and then proceeded to inspect the knife with surprising care. Balancing it on his palm, spinning it in his fingers, and even taking his time smelling it, before dragging a black claw down the sharp edge.

"Ach, it has a good heft and balance," Ulfarr said, with a nod toward Louisa. "And it scents of many kills, which speaks to your skill. I ken it only needs sharpening, to better serve you."

Really? Louisa's smile back toward him felt genuine, even grateful — and her hand found his again, giving it an impulsive squeeze. ButUlfarr's warm fingers willingly curled around hers, his eyes soft on her face. Looking almost appreciative, almost… hungry, and above them Killik snorted, and snatched Louisa's knife back out of Ulfarr's slack hand.

"Ach, this does need sharpening," he said coolly, as he went and picked up his chair, and brought it back to set beside the bed. "And thus, I shall sit and play with your weapon, woman, if" — he flashed her a smug smile as he dropped onto the chair — "you now play with his."

Wait. Wait, he meant Ulfarr, he wanted Louisa to play with Ulfarr'sweapon — and curse her, but Louisa's mouth twitched, her eyes darting amused to Ulfarr's face. To where he almost, almost smiled back, even as that familiar unease simmered through his eyes. Instantly calling up the bitter memories of the night before, of all that painful awkwardness, of how he'd jumped up and left…

Buthe was still here with her, still clasping her hand, and Killik was still here, too. His presence still strangely reassuring, even as he leaned back in his chair, and began tossing what appeared to be a small whetstone in his hand.

"Did you not hear me, woman?" he demanded at Louisa, his brows imperiously raised. "Lie him down, and take out his prick. Withcare."

Thehunger bloomed sharp and sudden in Louisa's belly, tinged with rising alarm — but Killik kept gazing at her like that, waiting. Wanting her to turn toward Ulfarr, to nudge his shoulder with a trembling hand…

Andyes, yes, Ulfarr exhaled, nodded, and… obliged. Sinking down heavy to lie on his back on the bed, even as his eyes stayed dark and uneasy on Louisa's face.

Thememories of the night before again felt too close, too strong — and Louisa couldn't help an anxious look downwards, toward where there wasn't even the slightest bulge in Ulfarr's trousers. ButKillik cleared his throat, loud and meaningful, and when Louisa glanced up, he was glowering at her, and jabbing her own knife toward her face.

"Withcare," he snapped again, harder this time. "You must be tender with his prick, and patient. You must treat it as the sweet Skai prize it is."

Louisatwitched a nod, and darted a brief, searching glance toward Ulfarr's face — toward where his cheeks were flushed, his mouth tight, his eyes flicking nervously between her and Killik. As if he still expected her to refuse, or reject him, or maybe… maybe even mock him.

SoLouisa squared her shoulders, and attempted another smile as she dropped her shaky hand to Ulfarr's trousers. "I — I'll try," she said, as she tugged at the thick chain of his belt with tingling, twitching fingers. "But please do tell me if I —"

She'dloosened the chain, and gently drew it aside, pulling the front of Ulfarr's trousers open. Revealing the sight of his scarred grey lower belly, the thickening spread of black hair, and then… his bare, exposed cock.

Itwas surprisingly small and stubby, lying soft and slack against his hip. But it wasn't the size that caught Louisa's breath, or set her hands spasming against his trousers.

Itwas… the scars.