Chapter 14

After they returned from the theatre, Matthew invited Tabitha into his bedchamber, so she joined him. From there, Matthew thought he might try to finally consummate their marriage. He even managed to mostly rationalize wanting to finish things with Rosemary.

Even if there was a small clue as to Rosemary’s location, he did not know when Jonathan would manage to find her. It might be years, decades, and surely, he ought to be a doting husband to Tabitha until she reappeared. She deserved that and clearly wanted it.

Or he thought that she had. Before he could even attempt to continue what he had started at the theatre, Tabitha rolled onto her side and fell fast asleep. At least, he had thought she was asleep. When Tabitha joined him in bed for the next two nights and promptly fell asleep, with nary a word passing between them, Matthew strongly suspected that his wife was purposefully avoiding any romantic advances.

At that moment, he stared at her across the dinner table, trying to determine how best to approach the topic. “You are vexed with me,” he finally said.

Tabitha tipped her chin up. “Indeed.”

“For no reason.”

She let out an incredulous laugh. “For no reason? You said that we ought to live separate lives, did you not? I am living my separate life like you wanted. That is better than the alternative.”

“Living with me,” he said flatly.

She shook her head. “Living with a man who cannot decide if he loves me or is indifferent to me. It is maddening.”

“I am not indifferent to you.”

As he gazed at her, his eyes sweeping over her elegant neck down to her full breasts, accentuated by the bodice of her gown, he felt his pulse quicken. She was so young and lovely, and Tabitha responded so eagerly to his touch. There was no one here to see them save for the staff.

He could order them to leave, and they would. Then, he could cross the room and kiss Tabitha with all the fervour in him; he could convince her undeniably that he was not indifferent to her many charms.

“I am glad to hear that you are not,” she said, “but it is easy for a man to speak charming words. It is more difficult for him to act on them. I know that better than most women.”

“I see.”

She slowly stood from the table without asking to be excused. “I think I shall retire early tonight.”

Again! For the fourth night in a row!

Matthew stood, too. “Perhaps I should also retire early.”

“There is no need to do so on my account.”

He strode around the table, and Tabitha squared her shoulders. She gazed at him with heated defiance but did not tell him to move away or insist that he not approach her. Tabitha’s breath quickened, and a slow flush spread across her face. Matthew stopped scarcely a foot away from her, and still, she did not move. Instead, the young woman merely stared at him, like a general preparing to face down a fearsome enemy.

He was unsure if they were enemies, but Matthew felt their plan of being friends was not quite working either. They were some strange mingling of a half-dozen things, and he could find no definition that seemed to suit them both.

“You have been avoiding me,” he said.

“I do not see how that can be when we are speaking right now.”

“No,” he said. “You have not put any physical distance between us, but you are still avoiding me in a sense. Ever since the theatre, you have been distant. It is not like you.”

“You do not know what I am like.”

He placed a hand on either side of her, and Tabitha’s rear pressed against the dining room table. Matthew leaned close, and the flush deepened across her face. She kept her fingers curled around the edge of the table, watching him with her cold grey eyes. Despite the composed expression, however, her body was becoming hotter and more flustered by the second.

“You—” she began.

He could bear it no longer. Matthew pressed his lips against hers in a hot, hard kiss. Tabitha moaned into his mouth. She kissed him back and curled a hand in his hair, and he pressed hard against her. He let his hands roam over her delicate body, tracing the lines of her delicate curves through the thin silk gown.

Once he reached her thighs, he took great handfuls of the material and hitched it up. Never once did he break the kiss. Heat coiled inside him. He felt himself grow hard and knew that Tabitha must feel the evidence of his arousal against her stomach.

She turned her head. “Wait!” she exclaimed, sounding breathless.

He lowered his head and kissed her throat, and her hands curled over his shoulders, pushing him back.

“Stop!” she demanded. “I do not wish to continue this!”

He stopped, scarcely daring to breathe. Everything was hot and muddled inside his head. She had wanted this, and he had wanted this. Why had she ended everything so abruptly? They could have easily continued, which would have made for the most pleasant evenings. Tabitha flattened her palms against his chest and pushed him so hard that he nearly stumbled.

“Tabby Cat is much more fitting when your claws are out!” Matthew snapped.

Tabitha slapped him. He registered the crack before the pain. Tabitha did not strike with much force, but the act of violence still caught him unaware.

“How dare you?” Tabitha shouted. “Get away from me!”

“Away from you?” he asked. “I should like nothing more, but regrettably, you are my wife! You knew what to expect from this arrangement, just as I did.”

“I did not know that you were still in love with another woman when I did! Nor did I know that you would treat me so disdainfully simply for not being the person you want me to be!”

Matthew felt as if his blood had turned to ice. He fell quiet. Tabitha stood before him, flushed and wet-eyed. Fury was etched in the lines of her body. More than her slap, which left him stricken. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “Think very carefully before you answer.”

“Or what?” she asked. “You will ignore me further? That would be a blessing after everything you have done!”

He drew in a sharp breath. “Do not cross me, Tabitha. You do not know what you speak of.”

“You married me, while you long for another woman,” Tabitha said, “and you intend to punish me every day for the rest of our marriage for not being her.”

He shook his head. Some of the cold shock of hearing her speak so openly about Rosemary had faded; in its place was a smouldering fury. What did this young chit know about losing love? What did she know about anything at all?

“You will never be Rosemary,” he said. “She was an incomparable woman, and you are a pale imitation at best.”

Tabitha flinched.

Matthew knew the words were cruel, and he did not care. A surge of injustice rose within him. Tabitha had brought this on herself. He had tried to make amends in a way, and she had rejected him.

“And you wanted a husband who you would not care for,” Matthew continued. “You wanted a man who would save you from scandal, and you have got both. You are a duchess, living in my lavish townhouse with all the freedom you could possibly desire, and you have the gall to be ungrateful for it! Apologies for giving you precisely what you wanted, Tabitha.”

She took a shuddering breath. “You—I can understand why she left you.”

“She did not leave!” Matthew snapped. “Rosemary loved me more than any other person on Earth. How dare you besmirch her and our love? You know nothing about her or me.”

“You are right,” Tabitha said. “I know nothing about you, and that is hardly my fault.”

“We will live separate lives from now on, like I suggested from the start. It was a mistake trying to be friends.”

“Friends?” Tabitha asked with an incredulous laugh. “Do you touch all your friends the way you touched me in the theatre? I should not have to tolerate such treatment from you. I am a burden until you find yourself overcome with lust, and then, I am worthy of your attention, am I?”

He stormed away, not even dignifying that with a response. She had not the faintest idea how difficult this all was, and he needed to leave her before he said something he really regretted. He went to the stairwell, ascending quickly to his study. The few staff he encountered hurried away, either sensing his fury or seeing the displeasure drawn in his face. Matthew entered his study and locked the door behind him. Once inside, he pressed his back against the door and tried to steady his ragged breathing. He wanted to scream.

How dare Tabitha even mention Rosemary? What right did she have to ask about his past, his personal business? He scowled into the empty room. Matthew had never been a man who liked to drink when he was emotional, but he felt like he really deserved a glass of strong Scotch right then.

“Damn you, Tabitha,” he hissed to the empty room. “Why could you not just let well enough alone?”

She would be gone soon, though. Jonathan’s lead had been so promising. It had to be Rosemary, and once she was safely returned to England, he could annul the marriage to Tabitha. It would be a perfect, happy ending for Rosemary and himself. And well—

Tabitha had known that he was married before her, and he had laid out all the terms of their marriage from the very start. It was not his fault that she decided their agreed upon arrangement was insufficient.

He was utterly blameless. Or mostly blameless, at least. Sure, he could have been more honest with her, but what did it matter? He did not imagine that would fix the root of their problems, which was that Tabitha clearly wanted a marriage that he could not deliver.

He stormed to his desk and pulled out the letter from Jonathan, the one which promised that a woman matching Rosemary’s description and miniature had been found.

Once she and Elaine were in his life again, they could have their happy family like they had all always wanted. Matthew anticipated that there would be some obstacles after they had been apart for so long, but those could surely be overcome. They loved one another, and that would surely be enough.

Matthew sighed. “Rosemary,” he muttered. “I promise that I will find you soon.”

He was tempted to leave for the Continent at once and search for her himself, but he knew the dukedom and his tenants needed him in England. Besides, as painful as it was to admit, Jonathan did know more about how to gather information and uncover secrets than Matthew did. He raked his hands through his hair and took pen in hand. While he had already sent Jonathan a letter earlier that week, he did not imagine that one more would hurt.

He paid the man well, after all. Maybe a little coaxing would simply remind Jonathan how much was at stake. This was not some unknown woman whom he was seeking but a duchess and her young daughter, although—

Elaine would not be quite so young anymore. She would be on the cusp of becoming a young lady. Matthew’s heart ached. He had to find them. He had to have his family back, and then, everything would be just as it was supposed to be. Matthew would have his wife and daughter, and Tabitha could return to her parents, who clearly loved and indulged her. Too much, it seemed.

Everything would be just perfect.