22. Catriona

22

CATRIONA

M y heart beats like a drum in my chest, loud and insistent, my pulse racing through my veins.

Felix has me cornered, and the look in his eyes promises things I want.

My heart yearned for him before—when I believed he was weak and clumsy. It yearned for him when he was hopeless. And though he's not the man I thought he was, he's still in my heart.

But I don't trust myself around this new, capable Felix. He has the same smirk, but there's strength and skill to back it up now. My stomach clenches, and I swallow my nerves.

"Something you said bothered me," he says.

I lick my lips, crossing my arms as if I can protect myself from bad decisions. "What?"

Felix looks down at me, his eyes dark. "Whether you choose to keep me or not, right now, I am your husband."

A soft noise escapes me. It's feminine and ridiculous, and it must amuse him because the grim set of his mouth becomes crooked.

I pull my eyes from his, looking past the rail to the floor below. "The clocks are loud, aren't they? All that ticking. We should buy a few rugs to dampen the noise."

Felix chuckles, the sound of it tugging at the knot coiled in my stomach. His voice is a gentle, seductive warning. "I can tell from the look in your eyes that your mind isn't on clocks. Care to share what's actually going on in your head?"

"I can't tell you."

"Because it breaks GHOST's code of conduct?" When I nod, he moves his mouth near my ear, so close our cheeks almost brush. "That makes me all the more curious. Tell me. "

My heart hammers against my ribs. Am I brave enough to utter the words aloud? Am I fool enough?

"I want your lips on mine," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I want to feel the heat of your hands on my body—I'm tired of pretending I don't. And I want to touch you." I turn my head to the side, forcing him to meet my eyes. "Felix, I want to touch you so badly."

Apparently, he wasn't expecting a blunt response. His lips part, and his eyes search mine. My admission has shocked him as much as it shocked me.

"Say it again," he says, his voice rough.

"I want you," I breathe.

He closes his eyes, soaking it in. After several seconds, he says, "Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say those words?"

I place my hand on his cheek and tilt his face toward mine. He didn't shave this morning, and the stubble along his usually smooth jaw is rough against my palm. The sensation is new, foreign. I've never touched a man like this.

Felix watches me, eyebrows drawn low. My eyes slide over his expressive brows and dark eyelashes, to his cheekbones and the softly angular cut of his jaw. He's not just handsome; he's beautiful, though I imagine he wouldn't be pleased to hear it.

He took after his mother's side of the family. Arthur is stout and as tall as an oak, with a square face and a blocky jaw. Felix is tall, but he doesn't tower over the rest of the hunters. He's not built for brute strength, but agility. His muscles are long and lean.

Perfect , I think, touching my lips to his. He's perfect.

I'm clumsy and unpracticed, but it doesn't matter. Felix returns my kiss, his lips moving gently against mine.

I'm barely breathing when I pull back. He blinks his deep blue eyes, opening them slowly. We study each other, the moment raw. I swallow, stroking his stubbled cheek with my thumb. "For the record, you kissed me last night. So I kept my hands and lips to myself the longest, and therefore, I won."

He breathes out a laugh. "That's where you're wrong, bluebird. No matter how you look at it, I've won."

We grin at each other for half a second, marveling that this is happening. Then we come together once again, and this time, we don't hold back. He sets his hand on my hip and pulls me against him. His other hand finds my neck, holding me firmly, and then our mouths crash together, hot and hungry.

The kiss claims me, destroys me.

My back smacks into the door, but I don't care. I run my hands over Felix's arms, shoulders, and sides.

His hand drops from my neck, settling at my waist, and he presses into me, his body warm against mine. I feel the strength he's been hiding, the weight of his muscle as it pushes me into the door.

Suddenly, he drags himself back. I'm bereft, robbed of his mouth. He studies me, breathing hard, his eyes sweeping over my face.

"Felix," I whimper when his thumb brushes the base of my ribcage, nearly delirious. "Don't stop."

I lean forward, inviting him to kiss me again. He gives in, and I fist my hand in the fabric of his shirt. But just as my lips part for him, he raggedly growls, " Wait. "

Before I can protest, he tugs my hands from his body and raises them over my head, pinning them against the door. He holds me here, kissing me again as if he cannot help himself. But his mouth is gentle this time, and the kiss is brief. He pulls back once more, his eyes darkened. "I can't think while you're touching me."

I swallow hard and stare up at him, my arms held hostage over my head. The sensation is new—being pinned by someone I'm not sure I could escape. With anyone else, it would frighten me. But I trust Felix.

He won't hurt me, and he'd let me go if I told him to.

"Why are you thinking now?" I demand. "You've never bothered with it before."

His answering grin makes my knees go soft. He chuckles, staring at me with pure affection. "Is it wise to tease me, bluebird, when you're at my mercy?" To prove his point, he looks at our clasped hands above my head.

I laugh, tugging my hands free. "Why do you still call me that?"

"To make sure you never forget the night you were supposed to fall in love with me."

His answer is so quick, so startling, I blink at him. "Felix."

His eyes go distant as he remembers the ball. "You were a vision in that midnight blue gown. When you crossed the room, with your eyes locked on mine like you'd finally decided to claim me, it was a punch in the gut. And then Elizabeth had to ruin it by getting herself kidnapped."

"Sort of kidnapped," I say softly. "Sort of ran away."

He shrugs. "The details aren't important. The only thing that matters is I didn't kiss you that night." His eyes focus on mine again. "And, Cat, you have no idea how badly I wanted to."

"I have an idea," I whisper. "Because I wanted it just as much. Almost as much as I want it now."

Growling low, he leans down, teasing his lips over mine. "I knew this was a dangerous assignment."

I close my eyes as Felix kisses me long and slow, feeling like every muscle in my body is warm and soft. Holding me, he opens the door and leads me into the apartment. We stand in the middle of the room, my arms draped over his shoulders and his loosely looped around my waist, getting to know each other in an all new way.

I want to cocoon ourselves in our apartment and ignore the outside world. But we can't, because the sun is golden as it shines in through the western windows.

Felix pulls away with a heavy sigh. "As much as I would like to continue this, the village meeting will begin soon."

"Not yet." I attempt to pull him back.

"You won't be happy with yourself if we miss it."

"Perhaps, but I've been waiting eight years for you to kiss me, and you do it so well. In the grand scheme of things, a village meeting doesn't seem all that important."

"Mmm." The humming sound is almost a laugh. "Is that praise, Miss Trainer?"

"It is. Kiss me again."

He obeys—sweetly, briefly, with the softest nibble to my bottom lip before he steps back. "We're going to be late."

"I don't care," I protest. "Let the people of Braunwin hunt their own werewolf."

"You don't mean that, but the sentiment is flattering." Felix smiles down at me, his mischievous face bemused. He's handsome when he's disheveled, even more handsome when I'm the one to dishevel him. His waistcoat is off-kilter thanks to my hands, and his shirt is wrinkled.

But as I stare at him, admiring my handiwork, I realize what we've done—what I've done. The guild rules I've broken.

"No one back home can know about this," I warn.

His eyes sparkle as he adjusts his cuffs. "So, I shouldn't write an entry in my diary about our kiss, just in case Benjamin were to read it?"

"Felix, I'm serious."

"I'm not." He grins. "I don't even have a diary."

"Felix."

"Benjamin and Elizabeth broke all the rules. No one is going to care about us."

" Felix ."

He looks up, his dark blue eyes brilliant in the evening sunlight, as he corrects, "Felix Dear. "

"I'm in a position of leadership. I cannot?—"

"Technically, so was Benjamin. You're just our trainer. He's our executive director. If he can break Article Five, Section Seven, then we can break Article Five, Section Eight."

"So, you have read the guidebook," I say wryly. Then I clasp my hands at my waist. "What if people think I took advantage of you?"

His answering chuckle is dark and full of good humor. "Take advantage of me, bluebird, please."

Of all the men to fall in love with, why did I have to fall for Felix?

As soon as I think it, he smirks in that way that nearly stops my heart, and I remember why.

"It's going to be fine," he says. "Eventually, GHOST will be under my control, and I'll abolish the entire section."

I study him. "You've decided then? You'll become our next president?"

"You plan to stay with the guild, don't you? GHOST is your life."

"I do, and it is. But it's not yours."

"That doesn't matter. You love it, and I love—" He cuts himself off, looking back at his already straightened cufflinks. He laughs to himself, almost like he said something he didn't mean to.

"You love what?" I demand, stepping forward.

"Are you hungry?" he asks. "Should we eat something before we go?"

"Felix, what do you love?"

He looks over with an easy smile. "Making you happy, bluebird. I love to make you happy."

"No, you don't. You love to drive me mad."

"Only because you enjoy it." Chuckling, he heads into the bedroom. "You best hurry. We need to get going."

I replay the sentence over and over, wondering if he was going to say something else.

Wishing he'd said something else.